((I feel like I need to apologize for the extended wait on this chapter. I, perhaps fittingly, found myself in the emergency room not two days after uploading the last segment of the story. I am doing much better now, however. Hopefully you guys can expect regular updates again. Thanks for your patience.))
…
This was the day that Eridan Ampora called Feferi Peixes for the thirty-eighth time since he'd arrived in the hospital.
Each outgoing call was stacked neatly on top of the other in his phone's notification box. All thirty-seven of them. And despite the fact that he was scheduled to meet with Feferi in about twenty minutes anyway, he felt that this was too dire a situation. It couldn't wait.
Eridan had been having a lot of dire situations lately.
Feferi liked to call it a lot of things. Overreacting was her favorite. But Eridan really didn't know how the hell she expected him to behave, given the circumstances. It wasn't as if he had orchestrated the circumstances to line up in the most catastrophic way possible. His whole life was basically a book on the multitude of ways the universe lined things up in the most catastrophic way possible. And he reacted as any rational being would.
By panicking wholesale.
"Fef, I'm havin' a fuckin' problem here," he said, lifting his elbows as his nurse wheeled his breakfast tray in front of him.
Her voice on the other end of the line was weary. "You're always having a problem, Eridan. You have been having problems ever since you came out of the womb!"
"Okay, but this is different and it concerns you directly, so I won't have you dodgin' questions."
"Do we really have to go through this now?" she sighed, and he could plainly see the way she was likely rubbing at one eye behind her pink glasses. "You are coming home today! Why don't you try and think about how nice that will be instead of getting yourself worked up over a bunch of nothing."
"Except it's not nothing, Fef, and the fact that you are tryin' to divert my attention from this shit-heapin' pile a nothing is proof enough that there is actually something there and that it's probably really fuckin' huge too, like wow, that is the biggest pile a nothing I have ever seen." He began stabbing his scrambled eggs over and over with his plastic fork. He imagined that was what the nothing looked like. A big disgusting pile of hospital-grade scrambled eggs.
It made his stomach churn.
"Well, if it's any consolation to you, he's planning on being here when you get back. And then maybe everything will make sense to you, and you can stop accusing me of things that aren't true." He could hear fevered movements in the background. Some clanking and the occasional hiss of the tap.
"Are you cookin' for someone over there?"
"Ugh, Eridan, that is not the point!"
"See, you're doin' it again! You're doin' it! What you did just there was what you've been doin' this whole time! Stop tryin' to sneak around me, Fef, I am way too observant for that shit to work. I could be a fuckin' top-notch sleuth who was hired out for his expert sleuthin' abilities to locate and disarm fuckin' atomic bombs or some shit if my talents weren't better suited to more artistic pursuits like they are." By this point he had reduced his scrambled eggs to soup.
"You would be the shittiest detective ever, mister! If you had to find an atomic bomb and disarm it, you would cut the wrong wire. But it wouldn't matter at all because the real atomic bomb would be about a million miles away! That is how far off you are. You're cutting the wrong wire on the wrong bomb. So nothing happens at all and you just look stupid with your stupid fish eyes and your big wire cutter."
"Well, if I am not even messin' with the right bomb then you should have no problem tellin' me who you're cookin' breakfast for," Eridan rebuked. "And don't try to tell me you're not cookin' breakfast because I hear turkey sausage and turkey sausage has a very distinct sound. I don't want to hear you arguin' with me on this point."
"I am cooking breakfast for myself!" she replied furiously, and Eridan could hear a sharp crack as she whacked her tongs against something.
"You don't cook breakfast for yourself, Fef, come on, who fuckin' does that?"
"I do that, Eridan! Which I guess might surprise someone like you, who only has cereal and pita chips stuffed in his pantry. I am getting tired of Mini Wheats!"
"You want to talk about bein' tired a shit?" Eridan burst out. "How about I'm tired a you lyin' to me! How about I'm tired a you constantly buttin' into my life and wrappin' your she-beast tentacles around anything good I ever manage to create for myself."
"She-beast?" Feferi's voice rose an octave in Eridan's ear, quavering with rage. "I've had to drive over here from school every day to check up on you. And when I'm not around, I'm getting texts and voicemails in the middle of class because you are having some new emotional dilemma. I am really tired of putting up with all of your whining, Eridan. We are not all out to make your life hard. In fact, you are doing a pretty good job of making it the big dramatic production that it is right now. She-beast? I'll show you she-beast, Eridan Ampora, when I come down to the hospital and choke you with your own bed sheets instead of taking you home!"
There was a click and then silence. Eridan slammed his phone down on his tray, glaring at it through his thick-rimmed glasses. Feferi thought she was so clever, covering up her dirty dealings by trying to twist things around and make it all look like his fault. But Eridan was no idiot. He knew how this shit worked.
After Sollux had gone home that day, he had asked Feferi to collect his laptop from his house, among a few other things. Most of which consisted of hair products and face wash. He had been a complete mess when Sollux had shown up. He could only imagine with a sense of muted horror how his hair must have looked when the gangly man had burst through the door. He was rather shocked that Sollux hadn't turned right around and waltzed back out. His level of surprise had continued to escalate when the man decided to sleep next to him as well, despite the fact that Eridan hadn't bathed properly in a while.
He then remembered that Sollux spent most of his time barricaded in his room, marinating in his own bodily fluids.
Still, Eridan couldn't use Sollux's doubtlessly low standards as an excuse to let himself grow lax. And so it was that he started doing his very best to at least freshen up each morning in anticipation of another surprise visit. Though it did him a world of good to get himself up and ready as opposed to just lying listlessly on his back throughout the morning, he was never visited by Sollux again.
He asked him about it frequently enough, however.
"So are you ever gonna drop by again or is this pretty much the only way we're goin' to be interactin' for the next few weeks?"
Eridan placed a pink block down and had his avatar pull back a few steps so he could observe his work so far. He was getting quite good at navigating scaffolding since the completion of their first celestial body on Alternia.
Sollux's avatar had raised its blocky gray arms in indifference. "I told you that hospitals fuck me up. I only went that first time to make sure you weren't dead or something."
Eridan watched Sollux hop up to the precipice of their latest creation. A floating hunk of pink hanging in the Alternian night sky. He began to lay down another layer of fuchsia cobblestone.
"Well, what if I was dyin', would you decide to grace me with your presence then?" Eridan's voice was sour over his headset as he picked at his bed sheets. The only light in the room was that of a fluorescent bulb above him and the blue-white glow of his computer screen.
He could hear Sollux's perturbed sigh before the man responded, "It's not like it's personal or anything, ED. Can't we just fucking hang out on Minecraft and build large pink moons?"
"Yeah, I've been meanin' to ask you about the pink thing for a while now—wait a second. Did you just call me ED?"
"What? Oh, yeah. I guess so." His tone was indifferent as his character continued to slap down pink bricks, hopping his way up the spherical framework they had put into place.
"Isn't that what you do with, like, your really good friends? Your inner circle? They all get fuckin' letter nicknames or however you do it. Does that mean I'm inner circle quality now, Sol?"
"It means you call me Sol, so I am giving you an equally demeaning substitute for your real name. It also means you are now legally bound to serve me on Alternia forever. You are my bitch. Go place a crystal here, bitch boy."
"Fuck off, Sol, I am placin' crystals nowhere until I get a confession outta you regardin' your tender feelin's toward my person."
"Okay wow. No." Sollux's avatar slapped the crystal down himself.
Eridan tapped at his keys a bit, making his own character shuffle around on the blushed lunar surface. He watched Sollux work for a while more before he spoke into his microphone again.
"Speakin' a confessions, actually, do you remember how we said we weren't gonna hide anything from each other anymore?"
"Yeah?" Sollux's character continued methodically along the scaffolding, laying pink bricks and placing down a crystal after every tenth one.
"Okay, well, I just thought I'd let you know something that is sorta pertinent regardin' my personal information that may or may not be of interest to you, like I really have no idea."
"Spit it out, dumbass."
"It's about me likin' guys. Or like, at least havin' a very strict preference toward them at any rate."
He pressed his lips together as silence ensued between them, nearly forgetting to breathe.
At last, Sollux replied. "Meh. I sort of figured."
"What?"
"I live in a house with two guys that are currently lusting after other penis-toting members of society. It's not like a couple of dudes touching dicks is a completely foreign concept to me. Plus I thought it was kind of weird that Feferi was your childhood friend and yet there's no history there at all."
"Wait why, did she say something to you?" Eridan could feel his hackles raising.
"Not really. You can just tell, I guess. You guys talk about each other like brother and sister. Not like two people who have ever really been interested. You can say so if I'm wrong. Maybe I am, I don't really know or care."
His tone was flat and indifferent. Eridan really didn't know what he'd been expecting. With a sigh he turned back to the lunar wall and began slapping the special pink-flamed torches Sollux had created along its side.
"Fef and I tried datin' once but it was kinda awkward and uncomfortable for both parties so it stopped nearly the second that it started. Nothing really happened so it's not much of a story to be perfectly fuckin' honest."
He could practically see Sollux's apathetic shoulder-shrug as the man replied. "Eh. Shit happens. I made out with KK once when I was in high school. We pretty much had the same kind of reaction afterwards."
Eridan felt as if Sollux's deadpan words had leapt physically from his headset and slapped his glasses off his face. Stunned, he blinked stupidly at his monitor as Sollux's avatar bounced away from him.
"Wait, you and Kar made out once?"
"Yeah. And it was awkward and uncomfortable for both parties. To quote you directly."
"Because you don't like guys, right?"
"Eh."
"'Eh?' What kind of a response is that? What does that even mean, Sol?"
"It means 'eh.' It means I don't really give a shit."
"So you don't like guys?"
"What is this, the sexual preference confessionals? Why the fuck do you care, dirt-shoving minion?"
"I don't okay, wow, let's take a step back to deflate your rapidly swellin' ego here Sol. And for your information, I have been shovin' more magical pink torches lately than dirt, so I think my title deserves at least a bit of an upgrade."
"Torch-shover."
"Yeah, torch-shover. Commander a shovin' torches. Up your ass."
"I should promote you to commander of really shitty comebacks is what I should do."
"You mean really awesome verbal rebuttals. That is what I do, Sol. I rebut you verbally and in an awesome way."
"Yeah, sure. Why don't you rebut that torch two blocks to the left like it fucking says to do on your color map, dick prince."
After that the topic was effectively dropped. At least between the two of them.
"Fef, I am havin' some issues here."
Her tone was hushed and urgent as she replied. "Eridan, I'm in the middle of class. I told my professor that I had to excuse myself due to a medical emergency. So this better be important."
"It is important, Fef, why would I bother you for anything less than the most important a shit?"
"What is it then?"
"I think Sol might like guys."
"Eridan, are you serious? I am learning about surgical procedures right now!"
"Right, and isn't this an upgrade in topics?"
She sighed exasperatedly. "Call me later, okay? Now is not a good time."
So he did.
"So you're saying he made out with Karkat?" Once in the comfort of her own apartment two hours later, Feferi's tone was much more interested and conversational. He could hear the tiny smirk on her voice as she spoke with him.
"Yeah, and he said it was pretty awkward, which I can understand because Kar's a decent guy and all but he's kinda not really someone whose throat I'd want to be stickin' my tongue down. He's just got this stocky little build and he always wears these grubby T-shirts and I don't know. I wouldn't want to put my face anywhere near his is all I'm tryin' to say here."
"So Sollux is more your type, then?" Feferi's tone was mischievous.
"Wow, Fef, that is completely not the fuckin' issue here. Like, where do you even get off comin' up with shit like that? When did I ever say anything to give that sorta indication?"
"Why else are we talking about Sollux's sexual preferences? You like him Eridan! And don't try to be all coy about it, either! I know there is a reason you spend so much time talking about him. Because there have been occasions where you've called me to complain about what he eats, and I don't really think it's normal to care that much about the eating habits of someone you don't have a small crush on."
"Okay, well, I am not tryin' to say anything here, like I am not tryin' to indicate that I really give a shit about whether or not this happens, I am just statin' here, for the record, that I might not mind it so much if he maybe wanted to put his hands in vaguely inappropriate locations on my body. I am just sayin'. Like. Strictly speakin' he is not so bad to look at even though he wears really disgustin' shit for more than a few days at a time. And this is all just completely objective what I'm impartin' to you, Fef, just like, straight facts that have no bearin' on what I do or do not want to become a reality okay because I really do not give a shit if he decides that datin' me would be a thing that he'd want to happen. Because his last girlfriend died and he has issues there and I understand and respect that because I am a respectable individual, Fef. I care about these things."
"Sometimes I think you care too much, Eridan."
Eridan paused in the game of solitaire he'd been idly poking at from his hospital bed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, you have a habit of letting your imagination run away with you whenever you see the possibility of something happening."
"I am bein' perfectly practical here, Fef. You wanted to know how I felt about the issue and so I told you. I'm not sayin' I want anything to happen in particular, just that I maybe might not mind it so much if it did, all right?"
"Well, all right. I trust you, Eridan. But I do think you're being pretty unfair to Karkat. I think he is very cute!" Her tone shifted from mildly serious back to its usual effervescent state.
Eridan frowned as he found the ace of diamonds and double clicked on it. "Wait, how would you even know about that? Have you been goin' over there?"
"Well, they do live right next door to you. And I've had to stop at your house nearly every day since you got in the hospital to pick up this or that for you. So I thought I would introduce myself! And meet everyone properly so that I wouldn't have another embarrassing mix-up like I did the other day with Sollux!"
Eridan felt a cold stone settle in the pit of his stomach. His bones felt as if they'd suddenly been replaced with chilled water. "I don't want you hangin' out over there, Fef."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't. Gamzee's fuckin' crazy."
"I don't think that's very fair, Eridan. Gamzee is sweet!"
"No. He fuckin' kills people and buries them under the foundations a the house. Trust me on this, Fef. Your safety is bein' compromised over there."
"You're being ridiculous."
"Just don't go over there, okay?"
"Fine. I don't have the energy to argue with you anymore anyway. Did you win at solitaire yet?"
"No. I never fuckin' win at solitaire. Fuckin' ace a hearts is always buried at the bottom a the deepest pile. Fuckin' piece a shit fuckin' game."
The next day brought a welcome change of pace from the endless hours of Minecraft and card suits and Megaman ROMs. After spending the first half of the day shuffling around in the bathroom, dragging his IV with him as he ran his fingers through his hair and scrubbed at his pallid face, he was then told by his nurse that he had visitors. Not expecting the plural form of the word, Eridan pulled himself back in bed and began adjusting his sheets around him, letting his mind tumble down an array of hypotheticals like he'd released twenty disks on the same plinko board. As such, no matter how hard he attempted to keep his ideas on only the most rational possibilities (Feferi and some spare friend from school, coming to give him the deodorant he'd asked for the other day) he couldn't stop a few stray thoughts from ricocheting off into possibilities of Sollux. The man was afraid of hospitals after all. Multiple visitors likely meant he had taken someone with him for emotional support. Just to get him up the stairs. Because the two of them would be fine together once Sollux had made it through the initial journey up to Eridan's room. He found himself hoping that Sollux had chosen Kanaya as his companion in emotional support rather than anyone else. Kanaya knew when to step out of a room.
That particular plinko disc of possibility was shattered soundly as the door finally opened to reveal Gamzee and the short, timid boy from the park. Eridan buried his disappointment in observation, looking the two young men over as they made their way into his room. He couldn't help but notice how naked the boy looked without his kitten in his arms. He still held his hands in front of him, twisting his fingers anxiously. It was as if he had no idea what to do with his upper limbs if they weren't wrapped around something black and fuzzy.
"Hey motherfucker," Gamzee said, raising one hand in greeting. The other held up a covered pie tin that had a few brightly colored bows plastered to its surface. Gamzee took the liberty of removing Eridan's untouched breakfast from the rolling tray that it was perched on, replacing it with his baked creation. "Happy getting well day, my brother."
Eridan stared at the bow-covered tin, unsure of what to say. "So this is a day dedicated to my feelin' better?"
"Yeah, man. And it doesn't hardly get to stopping itself there. Tavros, show our good bro Eridan what other sorts a miracles we brought for him on this mirthful day of healing."
Tavros nodded and scurried back to the doorway, returning seconds later with a balloon in his hand. It was a huge, baby blue affair decorated with a smiling sun and an assortment of pastel letters arranged into the message of "Get well soon!" As Tavros held it out to Eridan, he lost his grip on the pink string, and the balloon went floating up toward the ceiling. The boy let out a cry of dismay, but Gamzee caught the string easily, handing the balloon to Eridan.
"See what it says, motherfucker?" he asked, pushing the huge buoyant sphere down towards Eridan's face. "Get well soon. Those are our wishes all up and given to you in balloon format so that you can see how motherfuckin' bright and cheery they are. They are so bright that they had to draw a motherfuckin' sun on this balloon. And it won't even get to be keeping its spherical self contained by the ground either, man, it all up and wants to send our message to the next level. So hold on tight, my brother."
Eridan batted the balloon out of his face, his lip curled a bit. "Thanks."
"And I also used my artistic skills to be creating you a card," Gamzee pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and smiled as he handed it to Eridan. "Because my good bro Sollux says you like that artistic shit, and so I got my fingers to tickling all up in my creative juices and that's what they motherfuckin' pushed out."
Eridan smoothed the folded paper over his knee and found himself looking at a crayon drawing of two smiling stick figures holding a pink heart between them. Over their heads was a rainbow.
"That's very nice, Gam," was all Eridan could manage.
"That's you and me," the man explained with his easy drawl, pointing to the two figures. "I'm the tall one, see that? My legs are longer than yours so it's all representative of our respective heights and stuff. And we're sharing a metaphorical heart because we're best motherfuckin' friends. And I just added the rainbow because I liked it. Makes it all colorful for your eyes to be sort of looking at and appreciating of how much they can take in."
"Yeah, I see that," Eridan replied, nodding stiffly, his smile glued awkwardly to his face.
Gamzee then stood back, folding his arms across his chest and nodding in immense satisfaction. He looked to Tavros and gestured toward Eridan. "You gotta show him yours too, bro."
Tavros looked rather mortified as he produced his own card. Eridan could barely see it because the boy's hand was shaking so bad as he held it in front of him. At last, frustrated, Eridan snatched it from the boy's fingers and shook it out, squinting down at it.
"I, really don't know you, so, I was, not really sure of what to draw," Tavros tried to explain as Eridan's frown deepened. "But, Gamzee just said to, uh, follow my heart, or something, so my heart told me to, uh, draw you with a guitar. Because I thought I remembered seeing you carry that once. Also you are, um, a Pokemon master, because that is a really good thing that, people do when they're not sick, so, I thought maybe it might, encourage you. To be not sick, I mean."
Eridan stared down at the picture. It had more form than Gamzee's image, and he could tell Tavros was at least sort of decent at drawing. He could see himself holding a guitar triumphantly over his head and surrounded by several Pokemon, some of which he recognized and others that he did not. He opened the card and found "Get well soon!" scrawled across the inside. He closed it again.
"Thanks, uh, Tav? Is that your name? Sorry, but it's like you were sayin', we don't really know each other."
"Yes, my name is Tavros, and, um, it is really great to meet you, properly, and also I hope you feel better soon." He looked rather relieved that his card-giving was over, and now retreated a few steps from the bed, continuing to worry at his fingers distractedly.
"And now for the motherfuckin' centerpiece," Gamzee said, lifting the bow-covered lid off the pie tin. Eridan blinked as the pie was revealed to him. Its crust was perfectly golden, and cut into it was a bespectacled frowny face with a tuft of hair cut out just above the eyes. The filling was purple and glistened tantalizingly from beneath the exposed segments.
Eridan hesitated. "Is that supposed to be…"
"It's you, motherfucker," Gamzee said proudly. "I even got your little purple hair dye thing because I thought that was important." He pointed to it. It caused Eridan to touch his own tuft of dyed hair, wondering why Gamzee had given him such a gloomy expression. Surely he didn't come across as that grouchy. "At first I was wanting to be up and using blueberries for the filling because I don't know any motherfucker that doesn't like a blueberry. But our good sis Feferi said they bum you out. So this is a blackberry pie, and it is designed to only be delivering happiness and healing miracles to your mouth from betwixt its two layers of flakey golden delight."
Eridan paused in his observation of the pie to look up at Gamzee. "Fef said that?"
"Yeah, bro. She said that blueberries got your stomach all sort of angry and shit, like when two bros who usually get along start fighting over the Oreos that they up and bought together the day before."
Eridan waved a hand to get the guy's tangential ramblings to cease before they lost sight of the more critical bits of the conversation. "But wait, Fef said that to you?"
"Yeah, motherfucker."
"So she was over there?"
Gamzee nodded, smiling. "Yeah, bro, just yesterday she was having a talk with our good buddy Sollux about something all confidential-like. Our bro Sollux has been getting his self up to lots of top secret classified goings-on lately, so he doesn't get to showing up much around the house anymore."
Eridan felt his stomach twist inside him. "So wait. Sol's been leavin' the house?"
"Yeah, mostly every day now, so it's just Tavros and I, all up and sort of stimulating the architectural synapses in our brains." He put a finger to his temple lightly, nodding.
"We are, building a cat castle, for Rufio," Tavros explains, offering Eridan a smile.
It was a smile that the man did not return.
"I thought I told you not to go over there anymore," he spat into his phone after Gamzee and Tavros had been seen safely from his room.
"I don't understand what you're getting so grumpy about," Feferi responded, her car's radio playing softly in the background. "I was only there for a few seconds. All I did was tell Gamzee that blueberries gave you really bad gas."
"Yeah, thanks a whole fuckin' lot for that, by the way."
"Well, it's true, Eridan! And I wanted you to be able to enjoy your pie. Wasn't it cute? Gamzee told me what he was going to draw on it. He's really talented, isn't he?" He could hear her flick on her blinker as she spoke.
"Yeah, he's amazin' and a bunch a other shit," Eridan replied dismissively, flicking his wrist out of habit. "But let's be realistic here, Fef, because you and I both know that you weren't goin' over there to give Gamzee my fuckin' dietary information. Something's goin' on between you and Sol and I want to know what it is."
"What?" He heard the sound of the car accelerating beneath the woman as she spoke.
"Yeah, you heard me," Eridan replied, crossing his arms over his hospital gown, feeling the gauze pressing into his chest.
"I don't know what kind of ideas you're cooking up in your head, Eridan, but they are all the wrong ones."
"Fuckin' enlighten me then. What were you talkin' to Sol about? Because I know you two were talkin'."
She didn't reply for a while. At last she finally sighed and said, "Look, it's nothing, okay? He just had some questions for me, so I paid him a little visit. It was nothing serious."
"What kinda questions though, like what the hell sorta shit do you guys have to discuss?"
"I am pulling into the driveway now, Eridan, and I have Jade over to study, so I have to go, all right? Byyyye!" Her voice was full of exuberance before the line disconnected.
Furious, he sent her an angry text telling her, once again, to keep her grubby paws out of his business. Once finished, he slammed his phone onto the table next to his bed and reached down to dig out his laptop. As soon as it hummed to life and he'd gotten his headset in place, he booted up Skype to see twinArmageddons online, as he usually was in the evenings.
Eridan was just about to initiate a voice call when Sollux beat him to it. The notification pinged loudly on his screen until he accepted, and the man's voice crackled to life in his ears.
"Hey. Feeling up to Minecraft?"
"No. Fuck you."
"What's wrong now, princess?"
"Gam and Tav came to visit me today."
"Wow, that does sound pretty terrible. Let me run you a bubble bath so you can recover from all the pie and cards and other horrible shit you probably had to endure."
"You can drop the sarcasm, Sol, that's obviously not what I'm upset about here."
"Where were you detecting sarcasm in any of what I said? I was being completely un-sarcastic."
Eridan wanted to tell him to stop dicking around. But, knowing that it would only elicit more smart-ass commentary, he decided to cut to the heart of the matter instead. "Where the fuck are you goin' durin' the day?"
"What?"
"Gam said that you've been slippin' out durin' the day. And I know pretty damn well that you don't just fuckin' leave your room for no good reason because all you ever have an interest in doin' is playin' some video game or other, so I don't want to hear any bullshit excuse about how you suddenly became an outdoorsman because we both know that that's a load a fuckin' crock." As he spoke, he could feel his throat tightening with anger and something else. The room had grown dark around him once again, and once again he found himself in the company of naught but the fluorescent light above him and the glow of his computer screen.
"I wasn't aware that I had to check in with you before I left to go places, mom." Sollux's voice was edged with genuine anger.
It only served to make Eridan even more furious. "I just don't know why you feel like you gotta cover it up. Weren't we done keepin' shit from each other?"
"This is different," Sollux muttered, and Eridan could hear him tapping on his keyboard in the background. "You're obviously in no state to be playing friendly games of Minecraft with me, so why don't you just drink a juice box and go to bed?"
Eridan made some reply containing some expletive, but it didn't matter. Sollux had disconnected their call and signed out of Skype before Eridan could so much as finish uttering a syllable.
He did end up drinking a juice box. He also spent most of that night with his covers pulled over his head, breathing in the sterile scent of them, feeling their scrubby limpness against his grimy skin. He found himself thinking of a different night. One spent on a much softer bed. Where there had been no unbearable itching in the middle of his chest. Where he had rested his head against the pillow between them, but was still able to feel the warmth through the fabric. His warmth. He remembered the way the room smelled. Like grease and fortune cookies and soap. He recalled wondering whether Sollux had showered recently. Recalled thinking about what kind of shower gel he used, if he used any at all. Sollux struck him as more of a bar soap type of guy.
He dabbed at his eyes with his hospital gown, his face flushed with anger. He nudged his empty juice box out of the tent of misery he'd created for himself with his bed sheets, listening to it as it clattered to the floor with a hollow sound. And then the only noise was that of the heart rate monitor. Constantly reminding him why he was bound to this flimsy bed with its thin sheets. Why he couldn't go home and recreate that time with the Chinese and the comforter and the warm glow of the yellow light. Why he couldn't feel that warmth through a pillow or smell the scent of bar soap and fortune cookies.
He curled up into a ball, scratching at his chest. It ached almost constantly. He was sick of it. Sick of it hurting. Sick of having to mind it. Sick of having to be careful around it with water. He just wanted to sink to the bottom of a tub and stare up at the ceiling through the water, watching the image undulate against his eyes. He wanted to be properly clean. He wanted to stand and use his legs and run around. He felt as if his flesh was dying on his bones. Simply withering away.
He was so sick of it. So sick of all of it.
He awoke the next morning to a sour knot in his throat, his eyes dry and itchy. He tried his best to scrub the feeling away in the sink. He even used his best face wash. But it did nothing. It all eventually washed down the drain, and he was back in bed, left to do nothing but stare idly at his computer screen until the sun had made its daily march across the sky.
So he called Feferi for the thirty-seventh time.
"I can't talk right now, Eridan."
"Sure you can, it's fuckin' Saturday and I know you don't have class."
"I'm busy, okay? I'm picking you up tomorrow, though, so we can talk then! We'll have a really nice long talk and I can paint your toenails or something."
"No, Fef, that is fuckin' tacky."
"I'm just kidding! I thought you'd be happier today. It's your last day at the hospital! Aren't you excited?"
He shifted his legs beneath his sheets. They looked so foreign to him. As if they were someone else's legs, but they just happened to be sprouting from his torso. He was almost surprised when he wiggled his toes and the feet in front of him responded accordingly.
"I'm not really sure what there is to be gettin' excited about. I'll still be on bed rest for a month after this. So it'll just be the same shit every day only worse because now I'll be closer to it."
"Closer to what?"
"All a you guys. Havin' fun and hangin' out and doin' whatever secret shit you've been doin'."
"Wow, you are really crabby today. See? All signs are pointing to us having a nice talk tomorrow. And not a moment before!"
Eridan was about to reply when he suddenly heard a voice in the background. "Wow, is ED still bitching?"
He stiffened. "What was that?"
"What was what?" Feferi replied.
"Sol's there. Sol's there with you, isn't he, I just fuckin' heard him."
"What?"
"Where are you guys?"
"We are nowhere, Eridan."
"What the fuck are you doin' together? Where are Kar and Gam? Are you over at their house again?"
"No! I am at your house, stupid."
"You're at my house? Alone with Sol?" He could feel the hot rage building behind his eyes.
"Eridan, this is exactly the opposite of what you are thinking. And I know what you are thinking!"
"What am I thinkin' Fef, hm? Answer me that one." Despite his best efforts to keep his voice even, he felt it crumbling beneath him.
"Eridan, I will call you tomorrow, all right? Maybe then you can start being more rational."
The connection died and Eridan dropped his phone onto his lap. He stared at it for a long time, swearing and pleading under his breath. Willing the conversation to rewind itself into inexistence. But it never did. Instead, it simply replayed in his mind. With worsening imagery each time.
Soon he was curled on his bed, begging his nurses for more pain meds. His chest was bothering him. He needed more pain meds.
So it was that he found himself staring dazedly into his computer screen that night, waiting for Sollux to come on. When he finally did, he squinted hard at the screen to find the button to initiate a voice call. He found that if he closed one eye, he could focus better. So it was with one eye that he prompted the man on the other end to start a chat with him.
"What's up," came his voice over the speaker. Eridan threw his gaze about dimly for his headset, but decided it wasn't worth it. Instead he simply hitched the laptop up on his knees and bent his face as close to the screen as he could.
"I had a juice box like you said, Sol, and I got to thinkin'."
"…Uh-huh." Sollux's voice sounded suspicious.
"Are you sleepin' with Fef?"
"Wow. Sounds like someone needs another juice box."
"Don't play dumb with me you fuckin'…cock sucker." The words seemed sleepy on his tongue. As if he couldn't quite get them to wake up properly and push themselves out of his mouth.
"How am I playing dumb?"
"Because you're sayin' shit like you can't see it. And I know how it goes," Eridan said, continuing to squint at his screen with one eye. "I know how it goes. It's always the same way with her. Why the fuck do you think I moved away?"
"Well, I thought you said it was because you wanted to be someplace where people wouldn't treat you like you were sick."
"And also her. Fuckin' her with her fuckin' giggly stupid ass and takin' everything away from me that I ever got goin' good. I could never get away from her."
"I don't know, ED. She's been taking pretty good care of you. And from what I see, you kind of call her constantly. If someone is on the losing end of this relationship, it sure as fuck isn't you."
Eridan poked Sollux's display picture on his screen, watching the colors warp and bulge around his fingertip. "You shut up. You don't know fuckin' anything."
"Whatever you say, ED."
"Stop callin' me that. I hate it."
"Yeah, well, I hate 'Sol' but that doesn't seem to stop you, does it?"
He didn't remember the rest of the conversation very well. The most he could recall the next morning was that Sollux had assured him that he would see him tomorrow, and that the man had told him once again to drink another juice box. He must have listened, for he saw a second empty container of Juicy Juice lying next to the one he'd pushed to the floor the night before.
After washing his face and staring angrily into the mirror for a good while, he initiated call number thirty-eight.
The whole affair had him not wanting to return home at all. Instead he found himself considering other options. Possibly another city. Possibly staying with his parents for a while to discuss shipping out of the country entirely. To some uncharted island nation, where he could become king and live in a lavish golden castle, adorned with silks and jewels, basking in the unfaltering worship of his people.
It would have been a nice daydream, had his chest not interrupted him with its infernal itching about two seconds in.
When Feferi came to pick him up, they didn't have much to say. He remained tight-lipped as she gathered up his things for him, checking and double-checking that all his hair gel was arranged neatly in his bag so as not to spill on his laptop. She then helped him dress, though he spent most of the process trying to shake her off and telling her that he could do it himself.
The car ride home was a similar affair. Her sugary pop songs played softly on the radio, and their bright lyrics and rhythms provided the only sound beside that of the car's purring engine. Eridan glared out the window as she drove, hugging his bag as he watched the buildings pass. When he saw Toppers, he knew they were close, and that soon he would be back in his house. Back in his bed. Condemned to watching the life he'd cultivated over the last month begin to pass him by outside his window.
Feferi shut off the car as they arrived in his driveway. She then pulled Eridan's wheelchair out of the back seat, setting it up beside the passenger side door of the car.
"I don't fuckin' need that Fef, it's like twenty fuckin' steps up to the house," he snapped as he pushed open the car door.
"Fine!" she said, folding it back up irritably. "You can walk up the steps by yourself then!"
It was a hideous lie, however. She was at his arm the instant he reached the few steps that led up to Eridan's porch, letting him lean on her as he made his way to the door. They said nothing to each other about it, but he did glower at the doorknob as he reached out for it and shoved the door unceremoniously open…
…right into Sollux's face.
"Fuck!" the man yelped, stumbling back and holding his nose.
Eridan's eyes widened in shock. "Jesus Sol! What the fuck were you doin' there?"
"Waiting for you to come home, jackass. Oh my god, I think you fucking broke it. Fuck. Shiiiit."
He dashed to the kitchen sink, bending over it and carefully taking his hands away from his face. Eridan saw globs of red drip from the man's nostrils as Feferi walked him inside.
"Oh fuck, Sol, I'm so…sorry…" He paused as he looked around the house, noticing that something was definitely not the way he'd left it.
The floors were covered with plastic and the windows had all been taped. He blinked as he listened to the running tap and the sound of Sollux spitting into the sink. The smell of paint permeated the air of the house, and the once hideously yellow walls of his dwelling were now a warm chestnut. He stared, his gaze eventually falling to Feferi, who was smiling beside him.
"If you weren't in a frail physical condition right now, I would push you onto the ground and kick you," she said brightly, still holding his elbow.
"Wait, so you guys were…"
"Painting your dumb fucking house," Sollux gasped from the tap, blood still running from between his fingers.
"Wait but…how…"
"You told me you purposely picked an ugly house because you wanted to have fun sprucing it up! I told that to Sollux the first time I went over there to introduce myself. Ever since then he's been hell bent on doing some of the sprucing for you, I guess. He still needed my help with colors though." Feferi smiled at the man.
Eridan felt his throat tightening. "But…but why?"
Feferi shrugged. She looked to Sollux, but the man still seemed to be quite preoccupied with flushing his bloody nose out in the sink.
"Why don't I take you to your room, Eridan? You shouldn't really be standing right now anyway." She led him off to the right and down the hall.
When she pushed into his room, he saw that it too had been painted. A cream with accent walls of a muted purple. It matched the brown carpet surprisingly well. His bed had been covered with a brand new set of purple bedding and a velvety comforter. As she helped him get nestled beneath them, he realized that a large TV had been set up just across from him on the wall, at the perfect angle for him to view anything from bed.
His chest suddenly hurt in a way that had nothing to do with his incision. "Wow. I'm suddenly feelin' like a huge asshole."
"That's because you are a huge asshole," Feferi replied, pinching his nose. He pushed her away, and she put her hands on her hips then, grinning at him. "Sollux says he wants to try out some video game with you or something. So I'm going to leave you two alone for now. Be good, okay?"
All he could manage was a muted "'kay" before Feferi backed out of the room and shut the door behind her. He found himself staring blankly at his freshly painted walls. At his new TV. Running his hands idly over the plush surface of his purple comforter. It smelled so new, he realized. Not limp and sterile like the sheets of the hospital. And the light in his room was a warm yellow that mingled with the summer sunlight filtering in through the window.
He felt dizzy. Like his chest was filling with helium and he would float away at any moment.
He scrubbed at his eyes from under his glasses.
"So what do you think?"
Eridan pulled his hand away to see Sollux entering the room, shutting the door behind him. His face was already beginning to bruise, but the bleeding looked to have stopped. He made his way over to Eridan, motioning for the man to scoot over so he could crawl under the covers next to him.
"I'm really sorry about that Sol, I feel like such a fuckin' asshole," Eridan stammered as he made space for Sollux.
"Yeah, well, you are an asshole. But not for wrecking my face." He turned to Eridan as he settled himself beside the young man. He looked over at him with his one good eye. "You're a real fucking jerk to FF. I just hope you realize that."
Eridan clutched at his comforter, running his thumbs over the velvety surface. "I was just scared okay I thought she was comin' in and takin' over my life all right? Like, I get how she comes across. She's fuckin' charmin' and nice and all the things that I'm not and so it's only natural for people to want to hang out with her instead a me if given the choice. And you never came back to see me or anything like that so I was just sorta figurin' that I was losin' the only person I ever got really close with in this place."
Sollux dabbed at his nose, checking to see if he'd maybe started to bleed again. He hadn't. "Yeah. I get that I came across as kind of an uncaring douche because of the whole fear of hospitals thing. Which I felt like shit about. So that's why I wanted to do this, I guess, to sort of make it up to you." He gestured dismissively at the walls. "Even though I'm fucking shit at painting, as I came to find out."
Eridan glanced at the walls again, blinking. "I don't know, Sol, they look pretty nice to me."
"Eh. Thanks, I guess. I feel like I do better with Minecraft palette swaps than I do with real life ones."
"Are you tryin' to say that you performed a palette swap on my walls?"
"Yeah. They are the same walls with different colors. Palette swap."
"Sometimes I really gotta wonder whether you realize how fuckin' nerdy you sound to the average listener. Like, that is an almost irredeemable use of a video game analogy. That is enough to have your 'normal' card not only revoked, but shredded up and put through an incinerator. Seriously, you are a real fuckin' hopeless case, Sol."
"Shut up."
Eridan turned to him, leering. "Who's the commander a shitty comebacks n—"
Sollux's face was inches from his own.
There was enough time for his mind to freeze. For the bed to drop out from beneath him and send him spiraling weightlessly through that single moment in time.
And then their lips met.