Disclaimer: I don't own Eyeshield 21, the world would be a whole lot different if I did.

Omake: My Wife is a baldy

Walking home from the trash's game verses the pussy Cupid's, still hung-over from the night before. Opening the door to the apartment he shared with his brother he called,

"Honey, I'm home" sarcasm dripping from every word like oil.

"Now you come home. Where the hell have you been? You skipped out on practice, again. Oh great you've been out drinking again, at the rate you're going you're going to be in the hostiple suffer from liver failure in a few months. Well, don't expect me to donate mine, I like living, thank you very much. Or heaven forbid you get a STD from those women you sleep with, please tell me your using protection."

Waving his hands in the air Unsui approached Agon, reaching behind him to close the door and pulling his jacket off of him before hanging it up on the hooks next to the door. As Agon took off his boots and walked over to the couch to sit down, placing his feet on the coffee table.

"You're such a bitchy wife Unko-chan. I'm starving make me some breakfast, and get me some aspirin my head is killing me."

"I'm not your fucking wife, you arrogant ass so get up and make your own damn breakfast."

"And yet you are."

"Damn it Agon, I'm a man, I have muscle and a dick, which means I'm not a girl. You of all people should be able to tell the difference. I don't have a vaginia."

"My wife is a baldy named Unko-chan."

"I'm not your wife!"

Walking back to the kitchen, pulling out a frying pan, Unsui held it in his hand as he shouted at Agon.

"Really Unko-chan you're such a nag, if you didn't bitch so much you'd be able to get a man. Shit!"

Dropping to the floor to avoid the frying pan the Unsui aimed at his head, Agon lifted up to look over the coffee table at the kitchen door. He rolled to the left to avoid the plate that came right after wards.

"Spousal abuse isn't the answer to why you don't have a man Unko-chan."

Lifting up the coffee table to block the two coffee mugs that where flying at his head.

"Put the table down Agon, and take your punishment like a man."

Shoving the coffee table at the kitchen, Agon bolted for his room, twisting around to evade the bowl and another mug. He reached his room and slammed the door behind him as another crash came from the door.

"Who's the bitch now Agon?"