This was the day Sollux Captor took everyone to Denny's.
They never left each other's arms that night.
Instead, time faltered in its perpetual forward march, stumbling over two men tangled in a knot of red sheets. Sollux couldn't remember if he dozed. If what he experienced was simply an image painted by sleep or some untapped reality. But he remembered the way the moments seemed to expand and collapse. Like the gills of some underwater creature. Like the seconds themselves had been given breath and life and a will to move as they would.
He remembered some things. It was impossible to make any sequential sense of it. But he remembered Eridan's arms around his chest. Remembered feeling them even when he couldn't see them. And looking at them when he could. Counting the beads in the bracelet on that thin wrist. Reaching out and brushing his thumb over the knobby knuckles of that hand. He recalled doing it more than once. More than several times.
But he had no way of knowing if it had been real.
No way to distinguish each event as its own in the pocket of time undulating around him.
It made him reach out on several occasions. Like waking from a nightmare, he would jerk and put his hand on the thin chest beside him. To make sure Eridan was still there. Still real.
He always was.
At one point he had laughed under Sollux's touch. Another he'd been asleep, his hair mussed from the pillows. Sollux remembered reaching out then, to tuck a strand back in place. Because he had no way of knowing that the man beneath him was more than a fragment of his delusions until Eridan's forehead had scrunched under Sollux's fingers and a soft sleepy murmur bubbled from his throat. Only then did Sollux lay his head back down on that warm chest and drift back down into blindness.
All he could do was listen. Let his body fill with the erratic flutter of Eridan's heart.
It was like holding a butterfly in his hands. Feeling the tips of the wings brushing against his palms.
It scared him.
Scared him to the point of nearly releasing the butterfly in a spasm of panic.
But then he could see again. And those blue eyes were looking up at him. And the desk lamp was on. And the shadows that it cast over Eridan's face were black and thick and smooth. And suddenly everything felt sharply and wonderfully real.
"You're kind of a fuckin' basket case when you doze off like this, you know?" Eridan remarked, and Sollux watched one of the shadows on Eridan's cheeks deepen as he quirked the corner of his mouth in a smile. "Which part a my body should I be expectin' you to grope indiscreetly this time?"
Sollux swiped his fingers over each eye, using his other hand to push himself up and sniff, looking around. The room swam into some kind of focus, and he felt the beginnings of a headache stirring at the back of his skull. He groaned and flopped back onto Eridan's chest, which earned him a grunt of vexed surprise.
"Hey! Watch it. I got a delicate constitution and I don't like the way your fuckin' elbows look when you bend them, all right, they're like a pair a carvin' knives, it is fuckin' disconcertin' and makes me fear for the state a my safety."
Sollux lifted his head and smirked before grinding his elbow into Eridan's gut. He got a shove to the shoulders as his reward, and he snickered as he rolled off of Eridan, who glowered at him with as much melodramatic venom as he could muster.
"You know, you are really fuckin' obnoxious and that sincerely could have killed me like I am not fuckin'—"
He had a difficult time continuing after Sollux's lips covered his mouth.
Sollux found it fantastically strange that it was something he could do now. That after the pain and fear had built inside him to a fevered pitch of bright agony, it had all shattered in one violent, windswept moment. Exploded in a million different colored shards and left him empty and shivering and like he'd just woken up to one of the nastiest hangovers of his life. So it was odd, in the aftermath, that kissing him was so easy.
Eridan's stiff indignation melted away under the warmth of their joined lips, his eyelashes brushing against Sollux's cheek as his lids fluttered shut. Sollux felt some of the confused exhaustion drain away from him as his mouth was filled with Eridan's heat. Whatever he was supposed to feel now, there was no question in his mind about the unequivocal rightness of that moment.
Eridan's eyes fluttered open as Sollux pulled away, his dazed expression quickly tightening into a peevish glower.
"That's not gonna work every time, Sol, I just want to lay that out right now where we both can—"
Another kiss.
"Seriously, Sol, I am not so cheaply fuckin' assuaged all r—"
Kiss.
Sollux smirked as he left Eridan pink and fuming beneath him. He then rolled onto his side beside Eridan, propping his head on his hand as he stared down at him, wiping his own lips with a thumb.
"It's just really fantastic how effective a method that is for getting you to shut up," Sollux said. "Sort of wish I would've wised up and employed it way before now."
Red smudges appeared in the pink flush concentrated high on Eridan's cheekbones. He crossed his arms over his chest.
"Well, I see you're feelin' back to your old self," he snapped irritably.
Sollux sighed, letting his head drop from his hand and shifting onto his back. "Not really. I feel kind of drunk. And sick. My stomach is killing me."
"Mine too, but that's on account a not havin' eaten anything all day except for like half a bowl a Mini Wheats in the mornin' that I couldn't even finish due to like a fuckin' cyst growin' in my stomach or whatever."
Sollux turned his head, shifting his shoulder a bit so he could get Eridan into his field of view. His profile was lit sharply against the dark of the room, his lips pulled down in discomfort.
"Are you being serious?" Sollux asked, the snide tone melting from his voice.
Eridan's eyes flicked to him and he laughed softly through his nose. "All right, well, I don't know about a cyst per se, but like, I wouldn't discount the possibility of an ulcer or something equally horrible because I have been really fuckin' stressed lately, no thanks to you. But I don't know, maybe it's healed now because I could seriously go for some fuckin' sustenance of any kind."
Sollux rolled his eyes. "You don't have a fucking ulcer."
"Like you're in any position to make a diagnosis regardin' the ulcified state a my insides all right? I am nearin' a level a hunger that negates any and all other pain, like, I am fuckin' dyin' here." He put a hand gingerly on his stomach before casting Sollux a sour look. "Not that I would expect you to understand since you apparently had your fill a peanut butter sandwiches before callin' me up to confess or whatever."
Sollux blinked. "Peanut butter sandwiches…?"
Eridan's petulant glare faltered, and the color began rising in his cheeks again. He suddenly became very interested in scratching at an old stain on the red comforter beneath him. "You, uh…taste like peanut butter. And toothpaste."
Sollux could feel his ears getting red. "Was it bad?"
Eridan's eyes flew back up to meet him. "What? No, it. Wow, fuck. No it was fine I just… It made me kinda hungry to be honest."
"That's pretty gross, actually."
"You were the one fuckin' mackin' on me with peanut butter mouth while I was dyin' a hunger okay?" Eridan snapped.
Sollux smirked and rolled onto his side again so that he could get a better look at Eridan. The man turned to face him, the fury melting from his face as he gazed back at Sollux with a curious expression.
"I just ate a spoonful of peanut butter before you got here," he explained. Thinking back on it just made his stomach clench with a residual anxiety.
Eridan wrinkled his nose. "Right outta the jar?"
Sollux shrugged a shoulder. "It's the only thing I can eat when I'm nervous enough to shit small mammals. But yeah, it's not really cutting it anymore. I could go for some food. Preferably anything the size of a compact car and made up of at least eighty percent meat and grease."
Eridan propped himself up on his side as well to face Sollux. "I am not eatin' anything outta your fridge, though. Let me just make that perfectly clear straight outta the fuckin' gate."
Sollux nodded. "I second that notion. There is some really suspicious looking milk shoved back on the third shelf that I'm starting to think has become sentient and is staging a fucking coups on all the other foodstuffs in the fridge. It is a fucking war zone of fungal imperialism and I do not want to get in the middle of it." He rubbed his face, flopping onto his back. "What time is it anyway?"
Eridan dug his phone out of his pocket. "Like, three thirty in the morning."
"Shit. Not even Toppers is open anymore," Sollux groaned. He had dared to preemptively fantasize about baconstix for a few seconds. "And I am not going to Taco Bell, that shit sounds about as appetizing as the fucking alien milk right now."
"Sol," Eridan said, and suddenly Sollux was staring straight up at his face, his eyes light with a barely-contained excitement. "Let's go to Denny's."
Sollux pushed him away and sat up, frowning at him. "What?"
"Come on," Eridan urged, propping himself on his elbows. "Fuckin' breakfast at all hours a the day? You can't say that doesn't sound fuckin' amazin' to you right now. And I know there's one in town, it's right next to the mall, I've fuckin' seen it."
"Okay, but the mall isn't within walking distance. And the only one of us who has a car is KK."
Eridan shrugged, pushing himself into a sitting position against the pillows. "So take his keys. Like he's got anywhere to fuckin' go at this hour a the morning."
Sollux sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I don't know. KK's really possessive of his car. I can't actually remember ever driving it. Except for that one time that he got his shit trashed over at Dave's and I had to take him home."
"Come on, Sol. It can't hurt to fuckin' ask him. This is for the greater good a both our stomachs. No one with a heart could ever refuse, trust me on this. We are goin' to Denny's." He put a hand on Sollux's shoulder and gazed at him with such serious resolution that Sollux couldn't help but snort with inelegant laughter.
"My stomach isn't allowing me to think straight enough to form a decent rebuttal to that steaming pile of horse shit. So just sit here for a second while I go work my persuasive magic."
He put his hand on Eridan's forehead and shoved him back against the pillows. The following indignant curse was cut off by a brief meeting of their lips, and then Sollux left the idiot gaping on his bed, smirking as he shut the bedroom door behind him.
He felt like air. Ravenously hungry air.
It was the best sensation he had felt in a long while. He almost broke out into a skip before he realized how utterly and unforgivably idiotic that would be. And so it was with a sort of shaky self-restraint that he knocked on Karkat's door.
There was no response. Not that he really expected one at three in the morning. He twisted the handle and poked his head inside the room.
"Hey, KK?" he hissed. "I need to talk to you about hijacking your vehicle for the sake of bacon."
There was no response. He blinked, trying to get his good eye to adjust to the darkness of the room. Slowly the dim outline of Karkat's room swam into view before him. The dresser and the tiny TV set up on top of it. The desk littered with fast food wrappers. And the bed with its wrinkled but otherwise unoccupied sheets.
He withdrew his head from the room. Where the fuck would Karkat be at three in the morning?
As he turned his head to look down the hall, light filtering under the bathroom door gave him his answer. He crept toward it and put his ear against the wood. Inside he could hear nothing. So he knocked sharply and waited.
No response.
So Sollux pushed the door open.
For some reason the first thing he saw was a glass of mouthwash on the sink. It wouldn't have been such a strange sight in and of itself if there hadn't been a phone suspended in the middle of it.
Sollux stared. And then he turned to face the tub.
Karkat was lying inside, fully clothed in some of his nicest garments. A pair of khaki slacks and a red button down shirt.
He was also neck deep in water.
Sollux looked to the cup on the sink, and then back to Karkat. The boy in the bath looked as though he had been cut from porcelain. He just stared at the wall opposite him, never even blinking.
Sollux approached the sink and peered at the glass perched there. He then returned his gaze to Karkat.
"KK, your phone is in a cup of mouthwash."
Karkat never moved. Finally his lips parted and he replied, "Nice deduction, Sherlock."
"Yeah. Do you feel like sharing?"
"Oh, you know," Karkat replied, his voice wobbling. "I've been having problems with the reception lately and I thought a little ethanol would be just the fucking thing to clear that up."
Sollux plucked the phone from the minty solution, shaking it off over the sink. As he did, he was struck with sudden realization.
"Oh shit, today was your movie date with John, wasn't it. Er, yesterday. Whatever." He set the phone on the ledge of the sink and poured the Listerine down the drain.
"Yeah. Not like it was a huge fucking deal or anything. I'd hate to distract you from any important dick touching you had scheduled with the prince of tight pants. How did that go anyway?"
His eyes flicked up to Sollux. They were puffy and red. It made Sollux's insides squirm in discomfort and he flung his gaze aside, staring instead at the toilet as he replied.
"Oh, it went okay. I think we might be a thing now, maybe."
Karkat's expression crumpled and he looked back at the wall. "Oh. Well, that's really fucking great for you guys. I'm so happy for you I could just fucking shove a branding iron down my throat and shit seared flesh and joy."
"Yeah, uh," Sollux wiped his fingers absently over the bottom of the sink, forcing some extra droplets of mouthwash down into the drain. "You seem kind of not so hot right now KK. Did the movie date not go well or something?"
"No, it went fucking fantastic. Like if you imagined a kitten with a bow sitting on a rainbow made of glittering sugar and shooting forth from a white hole of concentrated joy, that would still not be enough to accurately portray the sheer fucking perfection that was my night. This is just how I deal with happiness, Sollux. I fill up the tub and try to expel some of the saccharine mirth via osmosis. If you drank this bathwater you would swell up with sunbeams and giggles so fast that you would fucking lyse on the spot."
Sollux crouched down by the tub as Karkat continued to scowl at the wall. He tipped his head to try and establish eye contact.
"Hey. Do you want to cut the fucking soliloquies and just tell me what's going on here?"
Karkat slid further down into the water, his lip wobbling. "I'm just a fucking idiot and there's no hope for me. Just cut off my head and put it in cryostasis so you can donate it to some museum as a monument to human stupidity."
"Jesus christ, KK, it couldn't have been that bad. It was just a movie."
"Yeah, well, I wish he would've fucking told me that," Karkat wailed, putting his hands over his eyes. "I wish he would've told me that it wasn't a date and that it never fucking would be. And that he was bringing Strider and a bunch of his other gigglechums. Then I wouldn't have shown up in front of all of them with a fucking dress shirt and bouquet of flowers, looking like the biggest jackass to ever get shit out the universe's rotting asshole."
He slid down into the water until his head was submerged, but Sollux yanked him right back up again.
"Jesus dicks, KK, come on. That's not…feasibly the worst thing that could've happened."
"Yes it is," Karkat moaned, spitting water from his mouth. "Yes it fucking is, just let me die in this fucking tub like the hopeless, gullible fucking idiot that I am. I can never show my face outside again, I have officially hit rock bottom and fucking blown right through it to the fiery core of the earth. There's nothing left but to resign myself to death and hope I'm incinerated quickly."
"Oh my fucking Christ," Sollux breathed, releasing on of Karkat's arms to run a wet hand through his hair. Karkat seized the opportunity by sagging back into the bathwater. Sollux yanked him up again. "Would you stop? You're not going to die from this."
"I'm pretty sure Egbert wishes I would. I have never seen anyone look so mortified at the sight of flowers in my life. His prayers of 'No god, please no, not this jackass' were so strong that they actually radiated from his skull. I think everyone within ten miles suddenly thought they were Charles Xavier or some shit."
"Nobody thought they were Charles Xavier, KK. Come on, let's get you out of the tub before you get hypotonic."
He tried to lift Karkat from the water, but was jerked to a halt as the boy's fingers hooked onto the faucet.
"No, I refuse to leave this tub until I have dissolved and all trace of my shitty memory has been erased from the universe," he wailed.
"Fucking Christ," Sollux panted.
He was going to need help with this.
He released Karkat and let him slide back into the water, groaning until his mouth was submerged and the sound had morphed into the wet slop of blowing bubbles. Sollux then strode from the bathroom and marched down the hall, yanking Gamzee's door open.
As the dim light from the hallway was thrown over the dark room, Sollux could make out a tangle of limbs, two of which were covered in tattoos. A shaggy head lifted and turned toward Sollux. Gamzee grinned at him, though how he could see who had roused him through the mop of dark hair covering his eyes, Sollux would never know.
"Is it all up and time for the sun to be poking its head up over the horizon already?" he asked. He was naked except for a pair of tent-like boxers, and he slung his hairy legs over the side of the bed as he swept the hair from face.
"No. Not even close. It's actually time to get KK's stupid ass out of the tub. Let's go."
Gamzee laughed, rubbing his eyes as he got to his feet. "Okay, best bro."
Sollux got behind him and pushed him from the room. This served to elicit more hoarse laughter from Gamzee, but eventually got them both stumbling back into the bathroom. Once inside, Gamzee peered at Karkat's submerged figure and raised his hand in greeting.
"Are you up and getting your clean on, bro?" He asked in hushed tones. As if he didn't want to disturb him.
"If by clean you mean trying to wash my existence from the earth's memory, then yeah. I am up and getting that on really fucking hard right now." Karkat spluttered through a mouth half full of water.
Gamzee laughed and slapped his knee as if he were swatting at a bug trapped in molasses. "I feel you bro. Sometimes you just gotta get a good scrub going and everything will feel all right."
"Stop encouraging him," Sollux snapped, dragging the lanky man closer to the tub. "I need you to get him out of the tub. He's being difficult."
"All right, if you say so," Gamzee complied, reaching down and taking Karkat under the arms.
Taking him out of a tub full of water was like trying to force an angry cat into one. He scrabbled at any surface he could cling too, curses cascading from his mouth in an unbroken stream. Soon the entire room was sprayed with water, and Sollux received a smart blow to the gut as he tried to unfasten Karkat's fingers from the shower curtain to prevent him from ripping the whole thing down.
At last, drenched and panting, they managed to wrestle him to the floor. Gamzee straddled his waist, smiling distantly as Karkat writhed and cursed beneath him.
"GZ, can you attempt to get him out of that wet shit? I would, but I think I might start puking blood in a bit here," Sollux said as he clutched the seat of the toilet with one hand and his stomach with the other.
"Sure thing, best friend," Gamzee replied before reaching down to unbutton Karkat's shirt. His hands were slapped away instantly.
"Don't touch me. I am trying to die of shame and you are ruining it, you brownie-baking assclown," Karkat snarled.
"I could up and get some chocolate treats all baking and sending their mirthful aromas your way if it would get to making your spirits start floating on in an upwards direction, my brother," Gamzee said, letting his hands drop to undo Karkat's buttons again. He got another slap to the wrists as a reply.
"I'm getting to think that maybe our good bro Karkat wants to be keeping his clothes all in their clothed state," Gamzee said, looking up at Sollux as his hands were knocked away again.
"Oh my Christ," Sollux seethed, releasing the toilet to rub at his eyes.
"What the fuck is goin' on in here?"
Sollux tore his hands away to see Eridan standing in the doorway, looking dumbfounded by the sight that lay before him.
Karkat snarled, flinging an accusing finger in his direction. "You get away from me! I don't want to see your face within fifty kilometers of my person. Your happiness is an affront to my perfect fucking misery, you raging douchebag!"
Eridan blinked and looked to Sollux. "So, does this mean we aren't goin' to Denny's?"
Sollux was about to reply when Gamzee cut in. "Oh shit. Are you motherfuckers all taking a wicked journey to the land of eternal pancakes and sunshine?"
Sollux pressed the heel of his palm to his good eye. "Well, we were. Until Karkat had a complete fucking mental breakdown in the bathtub."
Eridan lowered one eyebrow, his eyes still wide with flabbergasted bemusement as he surveyed the sopping boy underneath Gamzee's half naked figure. "Yeah. What the fuck is wrong with him again?"
"It's none of your business," Karkat snarled.
"His make-believe boyfriend doesn't love him back," Sollux replied, and his bland statement was met with an indignant, howling curse.
Eridan blinked. "Well, can't we just take him with us?"
It was Sollux's turn to offer a blank stare. "What, to Denny's? Like, a public restaurant? Where there are other people with functioning eyes? Who could view this fucking disaster?"
"Come on, Sol, it's a fuckin' twenty-four/seven restaurant. I'm sure the servers have seen worse things than a guy havin' a romantic aneurysm." Eridan leaned against the doorway to stare at Karkat with almost impressed disbelief.
"And we can tell our bro Tavros too, he's still getting some wicked motherfuckin' shuteye but I know that he would get to be all leaping right into his running shoes to come with us on our journey to the motherfuckin' breakfast Mecca," Gamzee said as he continued to lower his hands and have them knocked away by Karkat.
Sollux sighed through his fingers. "You know what? Fine. Let's just. All go to fucking Denny's. As if shit isn't weird enough already. Besides, I have a feeling like this is the kind of emotional wound that can only be patched up with bacon."
"Sollux I will fucking cut out your insides and make them into party favors if you take me to that fucking restaurant," Karkat spat.
"Sorry, KK, you've been out-voted. Guess I'll just have to deal with intestine confetti and spleen poppers and whatever the hell else you decide to make out of me," Sollux replied, getting to his feet. He then crossed the bathroom and leaned toward Eridan. "But we seriously can't take him anywhere like this, he's fucking soaked and he refuses to let GZ change him."
Eridan frowned, sticking his thumb in his mouth and chewing on the cuticle for a moment. Then his eyes lit up and he slapped a hand on Sollux's shoulder. "I'm a fuckin' genius. You go wake up Tav and get the car ready. I'll be in charge a makin' Kar restaurant-worthy."
Sollux grimaced. "I suddenly feel extremely uncomfortable with this."
"Just fuckin' trust me, all right, you'll wanna kiss me after this is done."
That made something in Sollux's chest snag painfully, and he was unable to reply as Eridan tore down the hallway and stumbled over the rug before hopping out of the house. Sollux watched the door slam before pulling his head back into the bathroom and trying to steady his breathing for a moment.
As he did, he found himself surveying Gamzee, who continued to smile unfalteringly as his hands were knocked away by Karkat. It was reminiscent of some kind of looping gif, and it served to make Sollux's head pound with the sheer idiocy of it all.
"Hey, stop trying to undress KK for a second. Just keep babysitting him until ED gets back with whatever the hell he has in mind. Some genius plan that's probably fucking awful," Sollux remarked.
Gamzee raised a hand and nodded. "I gotcha brother, I won't let our good buddy be all and escaping from under my watchful behind."
"Awesome," Sollux replied, pinching the bridge of his nose before trudging into the hall and back to Gamzee's room. When he entered, he saw Tavros sitting up, his chest bare and his mohawk tousled. He was rubbing his eyes when Sollux came in, but he quickly tore his hands away from his face once he noticed he had company.
"Oh, um," he began.
"I guess the executive decision has been made that we're all going to Denny's," Sollux remarked. "And your boyfriend wanted to make sure you weren't left out of the pancake parade."
Tavros' brows pulled together for a flicker of an instant before he replied. "That's really, great, because pancakes are quite nice, but, why are we going, before the sun is up? That is, I understand that Denny's is open, and so, it's not that we can't go, I just wonder, why, maybe."
Sollux shrugged. "I haven't eaten all day and Karkat is kind of having an emotional crisis."
"Oh, is, he all right?" Tavros asked, pushing the covers off his legs and beginning to rifle through the sheets.
"Yeah, he's just…" Sollux sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Upset. Because he can't get the guy he's had a crush on for two years now to show a modicum of interest."
Tavros' expression took on a kind of uncertain despondency. "That sounds, like something that is, really upsetting."
Sollux nudged away a pair of Gamzee's pants with his toe. "Yeah, well." He'll bounce out of it after a disgusting bacon binge, I think. He's got the happy endings of a thousand rom-coms to bolster his hopes. Because you know. The guy always gets the girl in the end. Or…the other guy, in this case."
"Do you think, they'll really get together after all of the, breakdowns, of the emotional kind, that have happened?" Tavros looked at Sollux curiously after he'd fished his socks from the sheets and pulled them over his feet.
Sollux shrugged. "KK has fucking awful taste in movies. And I always kind of thought happy endings were bullshit. But…who knows? Maybe."
Tavros smiled, pulling on his shirt. "I think that, happy endings, are a really great thing to believe in, even if they don't happen, all the time."
Sollux returned the smile, and the way his lips curved up made exhaustion break over him with unexpected force. He gestured toward the door. "Yeah, well. Whenever you're ready, I guess."
"I hope, right now, is an acceptable time, for my readiness, that is," Tavros replied, tugging on a pair of pants before sliding off the bed.
"It's perfect. Let's get out of here."
The two of them walked back down the hallway, and Sollux stopped at the bathroom door to peer inside and see how the situation was developing.
It was developing with predictable horrendousness.
"No Gam, are you fuckin' stupid, you're wastin' time here, just point it at his clothes like I fuckin' instructed you to do."
"Ahaha, shit's all like motherfuckin' breathing on me like it's all alive and wants to be blessing my face with the best kind of warm miracle kisses."
They were sitting on the floor of the bathroom, Eridan circling the scene furiously in his tight purple pants like some perturbed stork. He had plugged in a cord by the sink, at the end of which was a purple hair drier. Sollux couldn't even bring himself to be surprised. Gamzee was holding the device in his hands, laughing as it blew a stream of hot air over his face, making his hair fly back. As Eridan yanked it from his hands and turned it around so that it could blow on a cursing Karkat instead, Gamzee turned to face the two hovering in the doorway, his hair still wild.
"Hey best friends. We are all up and getting our employ on of this motherfuckin' bitch tittied technique of all blowing heat up and everywhere to get our good bro Karkat all motherfuckin' dried off."
"Gamzee, maybe you should, aim that, at his clothes," Tavros suggested, pointing. Gamzee turned back to Karkat, who was covering his face from the hot stream of air and howling. Gamzee smiled and pointed it at the boy's chest instead.
"See, I got this all fuckin' covered, he'll be presentable in no time," Eridan proclaimed, straightening and folding his arms triumphantly over his chest.
Sollux sighed. "We'll be in the car."
Karkat was possessive of his vehicle, but predictable about where he left his keys. Sollux swiped them from the kitchen table and strode outside, Tavros following along behind him. As he climbed into the driver's seat, he heard the back door open behind. Soon they were both seated in the car, and Sollux heard the click of a seatbelt behind him. He tapped the steering wheel for a moment before stuffing the key in the ignition just so he could turn on the radio. He tapped the buttons with stations programmed to them, but was unsurprised to find that most were linked to stations full of pop music disgusting enough to give him cavities. He sighed, jamming his thumb against the scan button and letting the car page through the radio on its own. He flopped back against his seat, staring at the house and the dim light filtering through the front windows. He could hear Tavros shifting around behind him, making soft noises every time a particularly peppy song filled the car for a few moments.
"I talked to VK," Sollux said at last, drumming his thumbs against the steering wheel.
"Uh, what?"
"Vriska. Sorry. I didn't mean to pry or anything, but eight of anything was sort of her motif, and we used to play games together all the time. Well, I used to play games, and she used to cheat the fuck out of them. And that was always her thing. 'Looks like you have to try harder Sollux,' with eight exclamation points." He ran his thumb over the cruise control buttons. "So it was hard not to notice it on Rufio's name plate."
"Oh. I see."
A heavy silence descended over both of them, and Sollux tapped his foot against the brake pad.
"Anyway, long story short, I don't blame you for any of that shit and neither does she. Well, she kind of does, but that's just her way of showing she cares, I guess. But I can't really say anything because I'm in pretty much the same situation. So I just wanted to say that I've been there, and I get it."
"That's, nice of you to say so," Tavros replied.
Sollux lifted his eyes to the rearview mirror and could see the boy staring down at his knees, clutching the seatbelt strap at his chest.
"But I think she has a point. I mean, just in my case. You can do whatever the hell you want, since the place is technically Gamzee's and you're both fused into this fucking boyfriend conglomerate now. But I'm tired of just being taken care of all the time." He dropped his head onto the steering wheel, the car giving a feeble honk beneath him. "I need to get out of here. Get a job, get my own place. Stop doing all this fucking leeching and start getting on with things."
"I don't think you, necessarily do the things that, a leech does, but, I think it's nice that you're so, confident, and, brave maybe, to be thinking of doing all that." Sollux heard him squeeze the seatbelt tighter. "I wish that, I was brave too and, not the kind of person who is always a disappointment."
Sollux felt his cheek sink into the grooves of the plastic. "I'm not brave. Just…ready, I guess. Really fucking ready."
The smile came unbidden, and so did the sudden tightness at the back of his throat. But he figured those were just things he was going to have to get used to now, whenever a certain purple-haired idiot invaded his thoughts.
He jerked his head upright as a knock sounded on the window. He saw Eridan leaning down and waving at him through the glass, though the greeting looked more perturbed than amicable. Sollux rolled down the window, hoping the cool night air would be enough to wipe away some of the heat on his ears.
"Hey, you want to fuckin' give Gam a hand? I would, but I appreciate bein' alive and I think it's definitely something I would stop bein' if I got within ten feet a that fuckin' rage mammal back there."
He jerked a thumb over his shoulder and Sollux leaned out the window to see Gamzee dragging Karkat by the arms down the driveway. Or rather, attempting to. The boy had wrapped his legs around the garbage can beside the garage and was now pulling the rumbling plastic tub after him as Gamzee continued to tug at his arms.
"You fucking shitstains will never take me alive." Karkat roared. "I will dedicate the rest of my life to building a time machine to go back and wipe out your ancestors so that none of you jackasses can even have a chance to fucking mar this world with your hideous taint. Fuck!"
Sollux rolled his eyes and got out of the car. "Can you at least get the trunk open or something so we have a place to put him once we get him over here?"
Eridan nodded and Sollux stalked toward Karkat, wrenching the garbage can from between his legs. "You act like we're taking you to get flayed or something, Jesus. It's just bacon."
"I don't want pancakes, Sollux, I want to die, or alternatively, get drunk and then die. Where are the pancakes in either of those options, Sollux? Can you find them? This will be like fucking connect-the-dots for assholes, except instead of getting a picture of a dinosaur at the end, it's just a message that says 'Fuck you, the pancakes are nowhere.'"
Sollux ignored him, instead grabbing his shoes and lifting him off the ground. Karkat gave a wail of defeat as he was carried to the car, where Eridan stood beside the open trunk.
Sollux looked at him with mortified disbelief. "I was fucking joking, I'm not putting him in the trunk."
Eridan looked flabbergasted. "What, I thought you were bein' serious. Besides, that seems like a pretty appropriate place for him, given his current state a questionable sanity. Because I can tell you right now that I am not sharin' a fuckin' seat with this guy."
Sollux gave a growl of frustration. "Then don't. Go get shotgun, you raving, unhelpful asslord."
Eridan grinned and slammed the trunk shut before opening the back door. Sollux and Gamzee both shoved the lamenting Karkat inside with Tavros, who stammered in helpless confusion as a pair of shoes were pushed unceremoniously onto his lap. Gamzee got in the back as well, laying Karkat's head on his lap and patting the groaning boy's hair as Eridan and Sollux claimed the front seats.
"Okay, are all body parts in the car?" Sollux asked as Eridan buckled up next to him. "Can we fucking go now?"
"Let's get this motherfuckin' adventure off like a wicked clowncar all getting its drive on down at the circus," Gamzee drawled from the back.
"I'll take that as a yes," Sollux replied, twisting the key and shifting the car into reverse.
The employees at Denny's were as jaded as Eridan had predicted. They didn't even blink as Sollux and Gamzee each took an arm and walked Karkat to a table because the boy refused to stand upright at all. Their server just gave them a dazed look as they sat, and it was with bland professionalism that she passed around menus and took drink orders before leaving them to their own jumbled devices.
Sollux stared at Karkat, who had laid his head down on the table over his menu.
"Are you at least going to give it a look?" Sollux asked.
"Not unless two of my possible options for creating my own Grand Slam are vodka and arsenic."
"Come on KK, just," he grabbed a fistful of Karkat's hair and lifted his head, "read," he flipped open the menu beneath and, "it," dropped the boy's head back down.
Karkat groaned into a picture of an omelet.
"Well, this is a fuckin' sight," Eridan commented, staring at Karkat from over his own menu before leaning over to look at Sollux's. "What are you gettin'?"
"I don't know. A plate full of bacon. Maybe a side of eggs."
Eridan squinted at his menu before looking back at his own. "That's not even written on here as a viable option, Sol."
"But that's what I'm ordering. You're paying for me, right?"
"Well, yeah."
"Then I'm sure they'll find a way to make my wish come true."
Eridan slumped back in his chair, putting a hand on his head as he frowned at his menu. "Maybe I'll do like a breakfast burrito. Gam, what are you gettin'?"
"One of these delicious bowls of breakfast happiness," He flipped his menu around and pointed to a picture of oatmeal.
"Gross," Eridan replied, his lip curling. "But that's right, I keep forgettin' that you have self-imposed dietary restrictions, so whatever, you can enjoy your slop if that's what makes you truly happy, it's no business a mine."
Gamzee grinned and turned his menu back around as Tavros told him with a small smile that he would be getting some oatmeal too. Eridan continued to fret over his own selection as Sollux became quite certain that Karkat had begun drooling on his menu.
When their server returned, Eridan had a small existential crisis before finally settling on an omelet. Gamzee and Tavros got their oatmeal, and Sollux's wish of bacon came true. Karkat got a stack of pancakes, eggs, and bacon at Sollux's request. They were the only ones in the restaurant, so it didn't take long before their food was brought to them in steaming heaps of happiness piled high on white plates.
Sollux attacked his bacon immediately, and had cleared half his plate before Eridan had gotten two bites out of his omelet. Karkat, for all his moping, had his bacon and eggs gone in about the same amount of time, his face covered with yolk as he started in on his pancakes, slurping noisily out of his glass of Sprite.
"I'm actually really glad all a you guys could come to this weird midnight restaurant dive because I have a group invitation a sorts to be extendin' to you," Eridan announced as they ate, setting his fork carefully beside his plate.
"Invitation to what?" Karkat growled as he ripped off a chunk of pancake with his teeth.
"I'm holdin' a concert a sorts this comin' Friday and you're all obligated to come, you can't back out, don't even bother tryin'." He took a sip of water.
"That sounds, really great," Tavros said, offering Eridan an uncertain smile over his oatmeal.
"Yes it does, and that's why you're all gonna be attendin'."
"What time?" Karkat snarled. "Some of us have work and responsibilities to look after, you spoiled ignoramus."
"Uh," Eridan rubbed his chin. "I'm not actually sure, let me get back to you on that. But does that mean you'll come?"
"If it's not during the day, then yeah, why the fuck not?" Karkat muttered as he stabbed another hunk of pancake and stuffed it in his mouth. "Not like I have better things to be doing with my sad sack of a life than attending shitty amateur concerts."
"Wow, that's fuckin' great, thanks Kar," Eridan replied with genuine glee. He then looked to Sollux. "You'll be comin' too, right?"
Sollux stared at him, a slice of bacon sticking out from between his lips. He slurped it up like a noodle. "Guess so."
"Wow, this is fuckin' fantastic, like, this really means a lot to me guys, thanks for bein' so understandin' and you won't be disappointed, I can fuckin' promise you that."
He went on about all the new chords and techniques he'd learned, and Sollux's mind was drawn inexplicably to World of Warcraft and what it would be like if there was some kind of useless bard class. Because that was definitely what Eridan would be. Endearing, but ultimately superfluous shit in battle. He had just started wondering what kind of damage a guitar could get as a melee weapon when Gamzee and Tavros stood up to take a bathroom break, Eridan following them on account of needing to "freshen up." Sollux gave him a wave, staring after him for a while to wonder if he could possibly get back into that stupid game if he had Eridan raiding at his side.
"Hey."
Sollux met Karkat's yolky gaze as the other glowered back at him. He swallowed a piece of bacon. "Yeah?"
"I just want you to know that meant what I said before about being happy for you guys. And to express my unending gratitude, I will even permit you to kiss each other in my presence and I will only get moderately bitter and spiteful about it. Feel free to lick my fucking shoes or whatever to show your appreciation." He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms.
Sollux smirked. "Yeah, I'll get right on that once I'm done eating. Glad to see you've managed to crawl out of the pits of depression, though."
Karkat gave a derisive grunt through his nostrils. "More like covered them with a shitty paper-mâché barrier for the sake of sounding sincere for a few seconds. Because I mean it. You should kiss him. As soon as possible. And get to other business too. Put your dick in uncharted territory. And do it before he realizes what a mopey piece of shit you are and heads for the flowery hills."
"Wow. Thanks for that stunning vote of confidence, KK. I feel so touched."
"Well, I'm just saying that you guys make no sense as a couple. You and Aradia had that 'perfect girl sees through the guy's sweaty exterior to the heart within' thing going on, but you and Eridan… You two are just assholes together. It's like the sort of concept a screenwriter wanting to claim unemployment would propose to the network directors. It's a fucking train wreck waiting to happen."
He grabbed his Sprite and sucked from it furiously before slamming it back down.
"But maybe an asshole is what you need." He twirled his straw between his thumb and forefinger before glancing up at Sollux. "Is he the reason you suddenly decided to wear the necklace?"
Sollux shook his head. "No. He's not the only reason. But he is one of them."
Karkat nodded, watching the ice bob in his drink. "That's partly why I brought her up just now. I figure she's become an open topic of discussion again."
"Yeah. That's the idea, anyway."
"So this is like the real shit?"
"Shit's pretty real."
Karkat shoved his plate away and hunched over the table. "Yeah. That's what I thought. I guess that's why I wanted to drop the depression shit for a couple seconds and say that I'm really fucking happy for you, Sollux, and I mean that."
Sollux let a tiny smile spread over his lips.
"Thanks, KK."