A day or two of stressed living with the aliens led Dr. Rush to hide in the daytime and work when the aliens (and the converts) were asleep. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before H'garkbheadh's followers caught on, and soon Rush was sneaking around even at nighttime, much to the annoyance of Colonel Young, who wasn't convinced this was an altogether new development.
Walking on his tiptoes, Rush headed toward a storage room in search of spare parts for the repairs he was trying to do. He hit the release button, content with the knowledge that the aliens were religious and not scientific, and would therefore want nothing to do with their scrap metal.
He was wrong.
"Oh, greetings, Brother Nicholas!" said Tom, who was investigating a stone-faced Sergeant Greer's feet. "You're just in time for the ceremonial pubic shaving of the acolytes."
Rush pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to three.
"Ceremonial pubic shaving?" he squeaked out. Brother Dubhghuill answered.
"Oh, indeed. However, we have hit a snag. We can't seem to find any of the acolytes' genitals."
Rush removed the hand from his face and found the aliens still examining Greer's feet. He wasn't sure whether he should bring up the mistake or let them think that humans were very, very small.
"What the hell are you shaving his … his pubes for?" Rush demanded, voice rather weak. Dubhghuill looked up in surprise.
"You don't know?" he asked. "Brother Nicholas, you must have gone through a shaving of your own. If you didn't, we can always -"
"No, I did," said Rush hastily. The aliens turned back to their foot examination. "Greer," said Rush carefully, "are you … all right with this, then?"
"It's Brother Ronald," Greer corrected calmly. Rush waited for him to go on. After a while, he realized that was all the soldier had to say.
"Right. Um, then you might want to tell them they're looking in the wrong place."
"Yes, Brother Nicholas. Good idea."
Greer grabbed Tom's face and slowly brought it somewhere most unholy. Rush felt the blood drain from his face.
"You sure you don't want another shaving, Brother Nicholas?" called Brother Dubhghuill. "It's always good to stay clean for H'garkbheadh."
"No, I'm good," said Rush. "Just … you know. Just got shaved. Yesterday, in fact."
"Very good, Brother."
They turned away from him, thoroughly engrossed in undoing Brother Ronald's pants. Rush just stood there for a while, feeling faint.
Then an electric razor started up and Rush decided ship repairs could wait at least until the storage rooms were sanitized. He turned on his heel and left the room.