Hello, all, and welcome! It feels good to be back after that long (unnentiontional) break! Which definately wasn't because I was too lazy to type! *wink* *wink* This time I'm going to try and amp it up, as I am feeling unnaturally refreshed today. I hope that doesn't go away for a while. And I know that you all just want to read the story so here you go!
DISCLAIMER: I said, so here you go. That means no disclaimers.
Chapter 6
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Trevor was scrubbing himself down with a lufa sponge, still wondering how people that lived so far underground managed to obtain all these objects. That was just one of life's great mysteries, like why the sky is blue, or why this place didn't have any Twinkies. As Trevor dried himself with a towel, noticed that the towel was sticking to him. He ripped it off, causing it to burn like crazy.
"AAAAUUUGGGHHH!" he tried to say, but it came out like "AAAUUURRGGRHHGGGG! IT BURNS! AAUUUAUAUAUAUHHHGGRRGRGGGGG!" Marrieth ran in instantly in and helped him calm down and get his clothes on.
"Thanks," Trevor said.
"Hey, what are these clothes made out of anyways?"
"They are made of spider silk. The same stuff the towel was made of." Marrieth replied. Trevor instantly grew pale.
"Wh-Wh-What?" Trevor pulled on the shirt. It wouldn't budge. Well, that's just perfect.
"Say, how do you get these things off without tearing your skin off?" he asked.
"You don't."
"But how do you wash yourselves?"
"You don't."
"... Then whydo you have a bathroom?"
"Stop asking questions."
"'Kay," they stood outside, waiting, until Dull-Set came out with High-Heels. It looked like she was wearing the same stuff he was, except she had a diaper on.
"YOU PUT A SPIDER SILK DIAPER ON HER!" yelled Trevor, not wanting to be around when she had to be changed.
"Yes. What's wrong with that?"
"Do you plan on changing it?" he seethed.
"...no-"
"THEN THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT! YOU PUT IT ON HER, SO YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT OFF, SINCE I'M NOT DOING IT! AND IF YOU DON'T PLAN ON DOING IT, THEN WE ALL DIE AS SOON AS IT PENETRATES OUR NOSES!" he stood there, breathing heavily, and calmed down. After a while, Trevor noticed the shocked faces on the underlanders around him, and said through gritted teeth, "That, is what's wrong with it."
Dull-Set, shaking, gave Trevor one of those things that you see parents wearing that wraps around the back and has a pouch in front where you put the baby. Trevor was fully calmed down by now, and he put it on and slipped High-Heels in it.
"Wait, what is this made of?"
"Sp- Spider S-S-S-Silk." The force of the explosion was enough to wipe all of their memories of the past half hour, and when they all got up, they looked at the blast marks on the wall, shrugged, found the baby carrier in the corner and it had lost it's stickyness, and they walked onwards.
"Where are we going?" asked Trevor.
"We are headed to the High Hall," answered Marrieth.
"Why did you call it the High Hall if you're about sixteen hundred miles underground?"
"I thought I told you to stop asking questions." Marrieth was getting irritated.
"Okay." They walked onward, and then the hallway let off into a big balcony with no roof.
"Why is there no roof?"
"STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!"
"It is okay, Marrieth. I will answer his question." This came from Sickus, who was standing at the other side of the room with an old woman in a wheelchair. "The High Hall is used for entertainment, and the lack of a roof is for the bats to fly in."
"Why do bats need entertainment?"
"Stop asking questions," said Vikus.
"But- But- fine. But who is that?"
Sickus sighed. "That is my wife, Salmonet."
"Yo," she said.
"Hi," Trevor said back. Suddenly, a thought hit him. "How did you get down here?"
"Normally I would tell you to stop asking questions, but now I have to answer you in the form of a long, boring story that will probably make you fall asleep because it's necessary to the plot. It all began in sixteen thirty-three..."
"Wait a minute! Let me get this straight, It's been six chapters and they're only just now explaining the plot? Did J. J. Abrams write this book or something?"
"Stop asking questions."
"Actually," said Salmonet, "The story would probably go better with dinner." they all sat down at a table that was in a dining room next to the High Hall. They just sat there for a while, when Lucy came into the room, with a ballerina's outfit on. Walking beside her was another boy that actually looked normal. He was about sixteen.
He walked over to Trevor and said, "Don't eat the fish."
"Why? Did somebody poison it?"
"No, it's just that Lucy cooked it."
"Oh."
"Hey!" said Lucy. Then she sighed. "This is my third cousin twice removed, Bill." Trevor was surprised to hear such a normal name in an underground city full of cavemen gangsters. Then the bats arrived. Trevor recognized the yellow one as Lucy's bat from the arena. Another bat flew in, and Trevor thought this one was Bill's, until it went and sat down next to Sickus. And when it sat down, it sat down in one of the chairs. That shouldn't even be possible! thought Trevor.
"This is Snow White," said Sickus, pointing to Lucy's bat, "and this is Archelaus," he said, pointing to the bat sitting down next to him, who was a sickly green matching the name of his owner.
"They ae bonded to us," said Lucy.
"What does that mean?"
"Stop asking questions," said Marrieth, Lucy, and Sickus at the same time.
"Do you bond with Dung Beetles?"
"What did I just tell you," said Sickus.
"What do you do when you're bonded?"
"Ask one more question and I will be forced to tell your mother, boy!"
"Okay, I'm good." There was a long pause, and then the food got arrived. Trevor looked around for the fish Bill had mentioned, but couldn't find it. He could, on the other hand, find a plate of monkey brains. Trevor looked around at the other food. He didn't like where this was going. They had stuffed peppers, vegetable lasagnae, jumbalaya, raw eggs, and a great number of unidentifiable substances.
"Where did this come from?" Trevor asked, expecting a reprimand for asking questions. Instead, Salmonet answered him.
"They were on sale, boy. Now hush up and eat." That night didn't end well for Trevor's bowels. Then again, all this food made Trevor think of the scientific specimens in a laboratory, and that made him think of his dad, who was a scientist. He disagreed with E.T., although he did agree with GLaDOS and her scientific ways. Suddenly, Trevor realized something. He hadn't heard how they had gotten down here! He didn't care, of course, but he knew that he must make a sacrifice for the sake of the plot!
"So, you were going to tell me how you got down here?" Everyone else (except Sickus) looked at him as if he were crazy.
"Ah, yes, well it all began in sixteen thirty-three..." and Sickus proceeded to tell a long and boring tale about a guy named Hamburger that I am not going to let you hear, even though Trevor went through all that trouble to get him to tell it, ending with a quote from some random guy named Fred Clark.
"What happened to him?" Trevor asked,wincing.
"He died," said Salmonet casually.
"He said it was a lack of moonlight. Then he mumbled something about wearing wolves. He must have been crazy." Trevor thought about this. He wondered if the moon was out where he lived. He wondered if the house had flooded yet because of the kitchen sink he had left on or if his mother had noticed it yet. And suddenly, he knew something. He didn't know why he was just now realizing this when he had already been planning his escape, but he knew he had to get out of there.
And that is my sixth chapter! It is by far the longest and funniest chapter I have written, so I hope you enjoyed it! I heave to be quick with this, as I have to be typing a chapter in my other story, which I think you should check out. It's called The Machine: Prologue, and it's on FictionPress.
Boom.