I am happy at the moment, because I just got another person to thank! YAY! Thank you to Sintobin for your review AND for putting me on Author Alert and Story Alert! This makes me happy! Happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy! By the way, the rat distraction scene with the dancing was the scene that inspired this whole parody. I was reading Gregor the Overlander one day and I was on that part when my train of thought went off track to what would happen if... and I dreamed up the entire scene. Then on another day, after my second failed story attempt while I was thinking of something else to right, when that scene popped into my head, And I came up with the idea for a TUC parody. And it was successful! I certainly am a weird human being aren't I? *eye twitch* And on we go!

DISCLAIMER: Gregor? Who is Gregor? No, I only own Trevor. Yes, wrong number, it happens to everyone, bye.

Chapter 8
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"LINNER!" called the rat, and another rat materialized next to it. No, I mean it literally materialized there on the spot.
Trevor didn't seem to notice this and asked, "Linner?"
"Yes, linner," said the other rat, "can't you tell it's about mid-afternoon?" Everybody stared at him. Even Siri.
"What, am I the only rat here with x-ray vision?"
Trevor heard a giant cricket chirping. Off in the distance, a voice said "Mid-afternoon? My appointment!"
"He fell in an acid puddle as a child," explained the first rat, "but anyways, it's time for linner!" He was very cheerful.
"I call dibs on the fat one, and you can have the smelly appetizer," said the second.
"I pooped again," said High-Heels.
"High-Heels!" said Trevor, sniffing the air.
"Hey, give me a break, I'm, like, five, okay? It's not my fault that I'm not fully potty-trained," and she then started grumbling to herself about cookies being bettter rewards then stickers for using the toilet.
"Can we get on with it?" said the first rat.
"Wait!" stalled Trevor, "Don't you want dinner with a show? Where's your class?"
"Well, it's technically linner, but okay," said rat number two. Trevor didn't wait for the other rat's response as he ran up the steps of a conveniently placed stage next to the cave as the rats sat down at a table in front of the stage waited. High-Heels came to their table as a waiter and gave them both menus.
"May I take your order?" she asked.
As there was only one main course, one appetizer, and wine on the menu, the rats chose almost instantly. "Yes, I'll have the Trevor For Five, we'll be needing some leftovers for the next two months, and she can have the appetizer," said rat number two, pointing at rat number one near the end of the sentence. So, thought Trevor, rat number one's a girl... Interesting... But not really...
"Sorry," said High-Heels, "we're all out of the appetizer, but I can get you some Trevor For Five right up!" I'll get you for that, thought Trevor. The rats then noticed something.
"Hey, where's the entertainment?" said girl rat. And since I am now calling rat number one girl rat, that officially makes rat number two rat number one. Rat number one is very proud of himself. Then a tomatoe hit Trevor's face and he started tap dancing... Sort of. Or at least as close to tap dancing as you can get when you broke through the stage floor on your previous attempt at tap-dancing. As more tomatoes hit Trevor's face he realized that giant rats have a really good aim. He also realized that he needed to find a new act, so he just took Siri out of his pocket and placed her on a chair.
"Siri, start talking"
"I will not talk unless you take me for a walk," she stated flatly. Rat number tw- rat number one suddenly started laughing and milk squi-
"Wait, where did that milk come from?" asked Trevor. Stop interrupting my narrating!
"Sorry," said Trevor. Anyways, both the rats were laughing hysterically, and Trevor turned back to Siri, saying "Siri, keep it up!"
"I said 'no', so you will go." Unfortunately, Siri was apparently a "one-time-use-only" on giant rats.
"Boring," said girl rat.
"I think our dinner's ready!" said rat number one, and then they both advanced on Trevor. Rat number one suddenly dematerialized and then materialized three feet to the right as a bat flew and knocked over girl rat. Trevor turned around and noticed four other bats that he hadn't noticed before. He saw Lucy on one of the bats and waved hi. She smiled and waved back. Then he noticed the rest of the Underlanders, who were being attacked by two giant rats, one of which had mutated powers. Weird. Bill leaned over his bat and shouted, "Run, Trevor... Er, waddle, Trevor!"
"Hey! That's insu-" CUTTING TREVOR OFF! How do you like it when I cut off your dialougue, Trevor? Huh? Huh? Anyways, Trevor was backed against the wall, so he wouldn't have been able to waddle anywhere anyways.
"Heeeyyyy..." said Trevor. You know, I'm the narrator, so I have the power to the erase you from the story alltogether. Be lucky you're the most important to the plot. So, Trevor was watching the rats and the humans fight. At one point rat number one jumped to Perdisco's bat and ripped off it's ear by touching it, making the bat fall to the ground. As the rat opened it's mouth, showing two forked, acid-green tongues, Trevor suddenly leapt forward and stuck the flashlight in rat number one's face. BLINDED BY THE LIGHT! rat number one dematerialized again and then materialized a foot backwards- right onto Bill's sword.
"Oh, pickles," the rat said as suddenly, rat number one poofed into a cloud of pickle-scented smoke, and with him, Bill's sword. So now Perdisco was unconsious as well her bat, Marrieth's bat was flying in circles randomly, Bill was unarmed, and the girl rat was crazy and also going in circles. Oh, no, that wasn't supposed to happen!
"What?" asked Trevor. Well, the girl rat was supposed to attack you, but now that she's gone crazy... Trevor, maybe if you stand in her way then she'll attack you!
"What! No! I'm not doing that!" Erasing Trevor in three, two...
"OKAY!" yelled Trevor as he ran towards the circling rat. Sure enough, as soon as the girl rat saw Trevor, it started after him, but before it could even get a half a foot, it stopped, gagging.
"KUMQUATS!" yelled the girl rat before poofing into another cloud of dust, this one smelling like kumquats. She took the sword that had been in her throat with her, and behind the cloud was Lucy, whom Trevor had completely forgotten, upside down on her bat, and looking kind of green. Before Trevor could sit, though, (and possibly cause an earthquake doing it) Bill ran up tried to hoist Trevor onto his bat, immediately regretting doing so as he broke all of his fingers.
"You know, I think you're really taking this whole fat thing way too far. You've made more fat about me than GLaDOS has made about Chell!" Trevor said. Exactly! My life's goal is almost complete!
"Your life's goal is to insult me about being fat?" Yes. Fatty. Problem? Trevor chose to ignore this and climbed onto Bill's bat himself, while Bill, seeing his bat's intense pain decided to ride on Lucy's bat. Lucy dumped a bucket of lantern oil onto the cave beach and then jumped onto her bat and took off. Bill's bat did too, but a bit slower.
When it got into the air, Bill said "Drop the torch!" and Trevor did. As Bill's bat flew off, Trevor watched beach burn ablaze.

WHEW! I am very sorry for the long wait, I'm not sure why the waits between the chapters are getting so long, ESPECIALLY in the summer break! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! I think I'm going to slam my head on the key board in frustration. One moment please. eyrkudadulra;'jbvai"WEag[i5or-0ka'340]'[hjpaes/rkot'-05ke.9g'i3409j[a04'-0kg09jdsfns['49iga3sjewrkjag-tk4i0er[0gfia[-4i]. All better!

Boom.