Disclaimer- Stephenie still owns the usual suspects.
I own my original characters and original story.

*This parallels chapters 68 and 69 of V&V. Please read those before attempting this.

Enjoy!

****************************LRM**********************************

Chapter 68&69 – On the Road to Sin City (aka On the Road Part 2)

Spending time with Bella was sometimes physically painful. At least on this vacation I found that to be the truth. Back in Seattle, the weather prohibited her from breaking out the summer wardrobe very often. Admittedly the highest summer temperatures in Seattle before we'd left hadn't even come close to what we were experiencing now in Texas.

For the last few days I'd been treated to Bella in short shorts, backless sundresses, and short summer dresses, all showing a lot more of her skin than I was used to seeing during the daylight hours. Throw in the odd halter top or mid-drift and I could count on being plagued with a boner of epic proportions each and every fucking day.

I'd actually become exceptionally creative at finding ways to cover my crotch while in public; sometimes purchasing t-shirts or other useless shit just so I could have something to carry around to disguise my problem.

So yes, spending time with my beautiful girl was painful, but the alternative would be excruciating, so I accepted the discomfort happily.

-LRM—

Something was bothering Bella. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, although she tried to pass it off as pre-wedding jitters. She seemed worried about something, and several times when I looked at her she would bite her lip as she stared out the car window.

Jasper had arranged an interview in Albuquerque. It would be done at the Hard Rock, and last no more than an hour, at my insistence.

"Mr. Masen, very glad to meet you. I'm Derek Kern; I'll be conducting the interview today."

I shook hands with Derek.

"I'd like to talk a little about the roles you've played over the years." Derek began with a smile. "Which of your characters, if any, have you been able to personally identify with?"

"That's a good question." It was, and not one that I was asked very often. I contemplated my answer. "Of all the roles I've completed, I probably most identify with the one from The Harvest of Avarice. My character begins life as a thoughtless, somewhat spoiled boy, but after tragedy, and finding the love of his life he changes, and by the end of the film, he's the man he was always destined to become."

Derek looked at me intently. "Did you live through tragedy to become who you are Edward?"

Shit

I rubbed my hands together nervously as I leaned forward in my chair, deciding the best course was to charm my way out of this one. "Well, my father didn't commit suicide if that's what you mean." I said with a light laugh and a bright smile. "But I do like to think I've changed, grown as a person, since meeting Isabella."

Derek nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

After that he went on to ask about the new movie with Clint, and tried to find out wedding details, but I'd learned my lesson, and didn't reveal more than I was comfortable with.

Anxious to get back to my girl, I didn't stick around afterward.

B-

Done with the interview. Where are you sweetheart?

-E

I watched my phone for a response.

E-

I'm by the slots. Hurry. Miss you.

-B

I pulled my baseball cap low over my eyes and went in search of my girl.

-LRM—

"We are men, we are not afraid of a little lightning." Emmett announced as he turned to me.

"Cavemen" I heard Bella mutter.

"Are you with me Eddie?" Emmett asked. I nodded just before we jumped out of the vehicles, cameras in hand.

It was great to be bonding with Emmett in this way. The road trip had opened my eyes to what a great guy he was. We'd had a good time together for the most part. He was still insane and sometimes annoying, and seemed to get way too much satisfaction out of embarrassing his sister, but I learned that I really enjoyed his company.

The photo blitz during the lightning storm was, I'll admit, an impulsive move, and we could hear the girls yelling at us from the car each time we stopped, but we couldn't seem to stop ourselves.

Besides, I'd be damned if Emmett was going to do this alone, and then brag to everyone later about how I cowered in the car, effectively making me look like a pussy.

I knew the shots we took would be amazing. The Painted Desert was already a spectacular sight, but with the added effect of the storm clouds and lightning, it was enough to take my breath away.

By the set of Bella's jaw, I could tell that she was angry with me so I promised 'just one more' at what I thought would be the last stop. I lost track of how many more photos we took after that.

During dinner, Bella wasn't very talkative, which in turn made me feel like a total douche for what I'd done. She still smiled sweetly now and then though, which gave me hope that I would be forgiven. Especially once she viewed the photos.

Emmett's and my euphoria at the sight of the Wigwam Motel evaporated when Rose informed us that, as punishment for our juvenile behavior in the Painted Desert, she and Bella would be rooming together, leaving Emmett and I on our own.

I wanted to punch Emmett for getting me into this, but the non-adolescent in me knew it was just as much my fault as his.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Emmett's words mirrored my thoughts as he lay across the bed. The only bed in 'our' wigwam.

This wasn't going to work.

At the same time that I was texting Bella, I noticed that Emmett was furiously punching buttons on his phone.

Beautiful-

I'm sorry, contrite, humbled, and sufficiently chastised.

Will you reconsider?

-E

I waited, while listening to Emmett curse from his spot on the bed.

I wish I could. Rose won't budge.

I miss you.

-B

After about the fifth text, she stopped responding. I set my phone down in disgust. Emmett looked as unhappy as I felt. "No offense Edwina, but I was hoping to share the coolness that is the cement teepee with my fiancée." He muttered.

I glared at him. "And you think I'm happy to be stuck here with you?"

"You can always leave you know." He said as he stood from the bed and walked over to me until we were mere inches apart. At that moment his face lit up in an evil smirk. "Here, let me make it easier for you." He barked before letting rip a fart that almost singed my eyebrows from my face.

"Fuuuck!" I wailed as I immediately pulled the neck of my t-shirt up in order to cover my nose and mouth, knowing that if I took a breath of unfiltered air I'd probably pass out. Or possibly die. "Asshole" I shouted from inside my shirt. "I am so out of here."

"Hasta la vista" Emmett sang as I grabbed my bag and exited the room, headed to the office.

A short time later, while ensconced in the safety of my own personal wigwam, my phone rang. I was surprised when I glanced at the screen to find Rose's name there instead of Bella's.

I immediately panicked.

"Rose, is Bella okay?"

Rose chuckled. "Yes Edward. We decided that you guys had suffered enough so I'm in number 4 with Emmett. He says to tell you he's sorry for setting off the smoke alarm, whatever that's supposed to mean. He said you'd understand."

I chuckled, thrilled to realize I'd be spending the night with Bella after all. "Thanks Rose, and tell him everything's cool."

I practically sprinted to Wigwam number 1, I was that anxious to see my girl again. I knocked, receiving no answer. Again and again I pounded on the door with no success. My only hope was that she was in the shower. Then another thought occurred.

Suppose she's looking for me? Was there a chance that we missed each other?

After a glance around the parking lot, I realized that it would have been close to impossible to have passed each other without noticing. No, Bella had to be inside wigwam number 1. I waited around a few more minutes until I began to feel like a stalker, before turning and walking dejectedly back to my room.

I sent her a text, hoping I'd guessed right about the shower.

B-

Do you know how frustrating it is to knock and knock and knock, but get no answer?

I'm hoping you're in the shower and not mad at me. I truly am sorry.

I love you. (I'm in number 6)

-E

And then I waited, my eyes fixed on my open door.

Sidney would have a fit if he knew I'd left myself this vulnerable.

Before long Bella appeared, hauling her bag behind her. I bolted from the bed and as soon as I held her in my arms, everything in my world righted itself once again.

-LRM—

We were in Arizona. More importantly, Bella was back in Arizona. I was worried for her, knowing that the reason she left seven years ago weighed heavily on her mind. As usual, Bella surprised me. She was calm, almost serene, and as the day went on, my worries grew less and less.

Once again, I was amazed at her strength and her ability to deal with things in a way that was unheard of only a few short months ago.

At first, when she informed me of the reporter who had cornered her in the Casino, I was ready to have Kyle scorch a path to the bitch's door and threaten her ass with a lawsuit. I wasn't sure what grounds we'd have, but I was certain he could think of something.

Instead, I backed off, realizing my girl had handled things just fine on her own.

-LRM—

The Hubbell Trading Post was another tourist stop I was genuinely excited to visit.

Emmett was once again in his element as he tried to determine if he could 'join' the tribe. At the trading post, I remained silent as I watched him ask the Navajo man behind the counter how it was 'hanging', while on the inside I was laughing my ass off.

I continued to laugh internally as they conversed, until the man's son appeared in the doorway. The kid, whose name was Ben, spent the next few minutes arguing with his Father about some bullshit, but more importantly to me, the little shit kept shooting glances at Bella's tits.

I clenched my fists, feeling the sudden urge to pummel his face.

Luckily, before Bella noticed my inner rage, the kid stormed out.

Good riddance asswipe.

I let go of the anger, chalking the kid's behavior up to teenage hormones.

After the trading post, we paused for a quick photo op in Winslow Arizona, made famous by the line from the Eagles song, and were back on the road; our next stop: Aunt Lola's home in Flagstaff.

Aunt Lola was nothing like what I'd expected. I'd prepared myself for someone who would look and act the way Bella had described her mother, and Lola was none of those things.

Over lunch, she spoke about chakras and auras. I knew that, living in L.A., I should be familiar with all that shit but my knowledge was sorely lacking.

She redefined the term 'free-spirit'.

After lunch, she led us into her sunroom to relax and talk. My eyes almost bulged from my head when I spied the most prominent piece of furniture in the room: a Tantra chair. Of course I knew what it was because: 'A', I'm a guy; and 'B', I'd been secretly toying with the idea of purchasing one for after the wedding.

Emmett, Rose and I all maneuvered around the chair into other seating, but my sweet girl, oblivious to the main purpose of the chair, walked right over and eased down onto it.

Oh God

I simultaneously cringed and suppressed a moan as I watched her. My dick was busily fantasizing about getting Bella naked in one of those chairs, while my stomach wanted to empty its contents all over the floor at the thought of what Lola and Drew had been up to in said chair.

And my beautiful innocent girl is sitting on it.

Rose caught the expression on my face and snickered.

I was never so damned glad to be back on the road as when we left Aunt Lola's.

-LRM-

As children, Alice and I had been to the Grand Canyon with our parents and with our grandparents, but getting to share it with Bella, and see it through her eyes, made the experience wholly new for me. It would have been more enjoyable without as many fans but, I just kept reminding myself that we'd been very fortunate so far in that we hadn't been bombarded by fans or paps on this trip.

After we left the Grand Canyon, I knew our next stop would be Williams Arizona. Rose had made reservations at a Bed and Breakfast that used to be a bordello. We were keeping that bit of information a secret in order to surprise Bella.

And surprise her we did. The look on her face was priceless when Rose informed her that we were going to a brothel.

The entire situation was made even funnier in light of my mother's misunderstanding about the Cadillac Ranch a couple of days before.

I will be sure to tell her we visited a brothel after all.

I laughed as Bella grilled the innkeeper about the bedding in our room.

If she only knew what her Aunt and her boyfriend had been up to on that chair in the sunroom, she'd probably burn her clothes and take a bath in bleach.

I vowed right there and then to never tell her.

Then I realized that if I purchased a chair, as soon as she saw it, she'd figure things out on her own.

I hesitated, thinking about that….

Fuck it. I still want the chair.

-LRM—

As we sat in Twisters Diner that evening, we listened in rapt attention as Rose gave us the highlights of the town's history. It truly had been a Wild West town.

As we walked the short distance back to the Bed and Breakfast, we could see a whole block ahead of us had been closed to traffic. As we got closer, we realized that we'd stumbled upon a Wild West gunfight. Evidently, it was a staged event every evening in Williams.

Bella and I stayed well back behind the crowd to watch the show, hoping not to draw attention to ourselves. I pulled her against me, her back to my front and rested my chin on her shoulder as we watched Emmett, the eternal five year old, interact with the performers.

-LRM—

During our jog the next morning, I thought about the wedding. Since Alec had no other work to speak of at the moment, I'd had him busily arranging the music for the reception, with my guidance of course.

I, when I could spare a moment away from Bella, had been secretly planning the honeymoon. With everything almost in place, the day couldn't arrive fast enough.

After checking out of the Red Garter, our first stop of the day was at the Road Kill Care in Seligman Arizona. The place was insane, with mounted animal heads gracing the walls, and all kinds of crazy items included on the menu. It was all part of the theme, and was funny as hell.

After we'd eaten breakfast, Emmett eyed the pool table. "I wish we had time for a game." He said.

"Sorry Emmett, I can't be in the same room with you and a pool table without benefit of alcohol. Otherwise I'll have flashbacks of seeing your ass." I announced.

Emmett grinned. "Aw Eddie, you're such a sweet talker, but know this: You can fantasize about my ass all you want, but it won't change the fact that I don't swing that way. Sorry bro." He said before wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Shut the fuck up asshole." I barked, but I couldn't help laughing along with our girls.

-LRM—

"Is it my eyes, or does that woman have pink hair?" Rose asked innocently as we sat in the Baghdad Café in Newberry Springs California.

I looked at the lady working behind the counter. "I believe she does. It's a very pale pink, but definitely pink." Bella answered with a giggle.

"You know, I've heard of this movie, but never seen it." Emmett stated as we ate our burgers.

"It's a German film, but with mostly American actors." Edward explained. "There's a huge, colorful cast of characters, but the main story is about an unlikely friendship between two women. It's really good; we'll have to watch it once we're back in Seattle."

Emmett nodded.

I glanced around and listened to the voices of the other patrons as they chatted at their tables. It didn't surprise me that none were speaking English. The film had a much bigger following in Europe, and evidently fans of the movie came over here and sought this place out.

The next stop Emmett and I had been keeping secret from both the girls. It took us off the beaten path, allowing the trip to last just a bit longer. After that, our next stop would be L.A., and the end of the road. Admittedly, none of us were ready for the trip to end quite yet.

"I don't believe it." Rose muttered when we pulled up in front of the little white chapel in the desert. "Guys, this is amazing. I always assumed this chapel was in the middle of Texas or possibly Mexico."

Bella looked at me with a big smile. "So cool." She squealed as she jumped out of the car. We were parked in front of the chapel which had been the setting of the wedding day massacre in Kill Bill.

We took a lot of photos. We took our time and enjoyed the moment.

It was dark by the time we reached the Santa Monica Pier, the official ending point of Route 66. For the most part we'd been able to escape the crazy while on this trip and had become just another family on vacation. I'd never forgotten about the fans and the press, but we'd been able to travel freely, not having to plan our every move according to who would be waiting outside with a camera. As soon as we stepped away from the Pier on our way to the car, the familiar clicking of the paps' cameras seemed to awaken me from the dream I'd been in for weeks.

I frowned. "Welcome back to L.A."

-LRM—

The best part about the end of our trip was that we could look forward now, in earnest, to the wedding. That was as soon as this damned 'bachelor party' weekend was over.

I was in a bad mood for most of Friday as I despaired over the thought of leaving Bella for two nights. Not only would I miss her, but I would worry constantly whether she was okay. We'd had too many close calls for me to be nonchalant about being away from her.

I drilled Lou over what I expected of him until he finally asked me if I needed a sedative. Sidney actually laughed at that.

As soon as we all piled into our separate limos, I sent a text to Alice.

Ali-

You know how I worry. Please look out for her.

She's my life.

-E

I could almost see Alice's smile when I read her response.

E-

She's well taken care of. Don't forget that Rose and I love her too.

Try not to worry.

-Ali

"Come on you bitches! I need to get my drink on!" Emmett bellowed as soon as the doors to the limo opened in front of Caesar's Palace. I shot a quick text to Bella informing her of our arrival, and made my way inside.

Charlie and the rest of Emmett's group met us in the bar. "Good trip Edward?" The Chief asked as he shook my hand.

"It was a great trip." I enthused. "How's the suite?"

Charlie's eyes grew wide in wonder. "In a word, unbelievable."

Before we left Seattle, I'd insisted on booking and paying for the suite at Caesar's Palace. There was no way I was going to let Charlie have to come up with that kind of money. The Chief had been hesitant at first; much like his daughter, until I explained to him exactly how wealthy I was. It took a few minutes for the look of bewildered awe to leave his face, after which he accepted my offer.

We were such a large group that we took up three tables in the bar. Aside from the five of us who had ridden in from L.A. and the Chief, there were Emmett's Seahawk's buddies Marcus and Walter, Rose and Jasper's cousins Bo and Bradley, and Emmett's friend Gregory. Emmett was busy recounting the highlights of the trip to his friends when I walked over to the bar. A moment later, Jasper sidled up to me.

"So Rose told me about Emmett's zombie nightmare." He remarked with a chuckle. "Charlie's got some stuff planned for tomorrow that will be pure torture for him, but I've decided I'd like to get the ball rolling tonight." He said with an evil grin. We were both feeling a little tipsy, so it didn't take much to make me smile. I watched as Jasper approached the cocktail waitress. After a minute I saw her giggle behind her hand.

"What are you two up to?" Chris asked from beside me. I hadn't even seen him approach.

"I'm not sure" I answered as we both watched Jasper walk back over to us.

"I can't believe she agreed to do that." He smiled as he shook his head.

"What did you just ask her Jasper?"

"In a few minutes, she's going to approach our friend Emmett to inform him that 'she doesn't want to hurt him, she only wants his man-meat'." Jasper drawled. I cannot wait to see his reaction."

I thought for a minute. "You know what would make it even better Jasper?"

"What?"

"If we were to get every woman in here to say the same thing to him." I smirked.

Jasper laughed. "How do you propose we do that?"

I frowned as I thought about that one. After a minute Chris interrupted my musings. "Oh for heavens sake. You two geniuses really can't figure this out?" He asked incredulously.

Jasper and I gave him confused looks. Chris sighed. "Oh come on, I'm usually more comfortable as a wing man, but I guess I'll have to walk 'point' on this one."

We followed him over to a table full of young women. "Good evening ladies!" He sang, reminding me of my sister.

They smiled at him in return. "I think you all know my friend Mister Hollywood here." He said as he gestured toward me.

The faces of the women lit up at the realization that Edward Masen was standing before them.

Chris smiled wider. "Now girls, our friend Edward here needs your help." He sighed before continuing. "Did you ever have one of those friends who was constantly up in ya business?" The women nodded, I was certain they were drunk. "The kind of friend who just doesn't know when to stop tweaking your nerves?" More nodding. "And you love them, but you really wish someone would school their silly asses just one time?" This question was met with eager head nodding. "Well, I can promise you that, in return for your assistance, Edward here is willing to do just about anything, as long as it doesn't involve removing his pants or kissing you on the lips. The fair Bella would not be happy about that." He smiled. "My suggestion is that you limit your requests to autographs or photos." Then he leaned down and whispered conspiratorially to them. "Oh and girls? Hands off the cowboy" Chris said as he eyed Jasper in his boots. "He's mine."

It didn't take long for Chris to persuade every female, and some males, in the bar to go along with our plan. I posed for a lot of photos before we were able to set things in motion.

"My work here is done." Chris said happily as the three of us returned to our table.

"This whale was fucking huge" Emmett was explaining animatedly as we sat down. At that moment, the cocktail waitress that Jazz spoke with earlier walked by and Emmett flagged her down for a refill. She nodded and smiled before leaning down to whisper in his ear. He sat straight up in his chair, a look of horror on his face. "What the fuck!" He boomed as we tried to hold back our laughter.

He jumped from his seat "Never mind. I'll get a drink from the bar." He announced before bounding over there. Unfortunately for Emmett, the first bartender he approached was a female, and in on our gag.

After explaining to the other guys what was happening, we all sat back and watched as Emmett's entire evening went straight to hell.

-LRM—

After the fiasco in the bar, we wandered across the street to Bally's to explore the casino. By this time, I'd come to the conclusion that Gregory was insane. He didn't even have the excuse of being completely drunk when he decided the walk to the restroom was too far, so instead he stopped to take a piss outside the hotel, behind a parked car.

I thought Charlie was going to lose his mind over that one. "Do you want the Vegas cops to haul your ass to jail Gregory?"

"Relax Chief. It's all good." He said with a smirk.

But it wasn't all good a few minutes later. "What do you mean there won't be any strippers at the party tomorrow?" He asked Charlie.

"Exactly what I said. Emmett doesn't want it, and Bella and Edward don't need some photo hitting the internet that shows him attending a party like that." Charlie snapped before clearing his throat.

The more time I spend with this man, the more I admire him.

He was protecting Bella and me just as much as he was protecting Emmett and Rose.

Gregory groaned before making the decision to spend the rest of the evening in a 'titty bar', to use his eloquent turn of phrase.

On the way back to Caesar's I sent a quick text to Bella. I was surprised I hadn't heard a word from her all evening.

B-

Did you go out? I miss you. Call me, no matter how late.

Love you

-E

Back in the suite, I went to my room and readied myself for bed. As soon as I lay down, the phone rang. "Hey baby. Did you go out?" I asked.

"No. We stayed in. I'm sorry; I left my phone in the bedroom while I spent time with the girls."

I smiled thinking of her safely tucked away in her room. "That's okay. We went to the casino for a while, had a drink at the bar. This bunch is pretty rowdy. I don't know if Charlie's going to be able to control them." I chuckled, thinking specifically of Gregory.

"Oh well, he can always use brute force. He is a cop after all." She said with a laugh.

She doesn't know how close he came to doing just that.

"Jasper's cousins are a lot of fun, but Emmett's friend Gregory may just be insane."

I soon realized that Bella was not a huge fan of Greg. He was crazier than Emmett, but lacked Emmett's charm.

We talked a little about Emmett's cousins, before she changed the subject.

"At least it sounds like Sidney will have a far more interesting time than poor Lou will on this trip." She giggled.

I had to agree with her, especially when I remembered Sidney laughing his ass off at Emmett's predicament in the bar earlier tonight.

"He's got a room across the hall from our suite, so tonight wasn't bad for him, but tomorrow he gets to sit outside the spa for most of the day twiddling his thumbs."

"As long as he keeps you safe, that's all I care about Bella." I answered seriously.

"I know" She whispered before yawning loudly.

We said our goodbyes, and I fell asleep with the memory of her soft voice in my ear.

-LRM—

"Your days are numbered motherfuckers" Emmett announced as he glared at us one at a time. When his eyes reached me he spoke again, "Et tu, Edward?" He asked as he shook his head in disgust. "You know I'm not surprised that Jasper's cousins are going along with this, because they all inherited the 'asshole' gene. And I can even find reasons that my friends would want to torture me, but I am surprised at you. I thought we bonded on this vacation bro."

I shrugged and held my hands up in surrender. "Emmett, you have to appreciate my position here. It's pretty important to me that I stay in your Dad's good graces."

I heard the rest of the guys chuckle. "I guess." Emmett said, still frowning.

We were at the top of the Stratosphere Hotel, and had just informed Emmett that he wasn't allowed to leave until he'd ridden both the X-Scream and the Insanity, two extreme thrill rides that managed to fling the riders out from the roof, twirling and spinning almost a thousand feet above the ground.

Who could have guessed that Charlie would have discovered a way to take advantage of Emmett's fear of heights, and combine it with his dislike of thrill rides?

The Chief's a genius.

"Emmett, stop whining. Did we not all just go on the Big Shot with you?" Charlie barked at his son.

"Who gives a flying fuck? That ride was nothing compared to those." He argued as he pointed at the others.

He started to move toward the exit, but Marcus and Walter stepped into his path. Emmett stopped and turned back to face us with another glare. "How about if I just go on the SkyJump ride and one other one, and we'll call it even, as long as I get to do the sky jump first?"

Charlie pursed his lips. "I'd be willing to do that, but I know that as soon as you sky jumped off this building, you wouldn't willingly come back up." He looked straight into Emmett's eyes. "Contrary to what you may think, I'm not stupid."

"I never thought you were stupid old man. At this moment, the only opinion I have of you is that you're an asshole." Emmett muttered with a scowl.

Charlie laughed loudly. "You're not helping your case with statements like that son."

Emmett sighed and glared at his father again. "You can't force me to do this."

Charlie rubbed his chin in thought and nodded. "You're right about that" He answered seriously. "But if you decline, you friends here are taking out a full-size ad in the Seattle Times labeling you as a pussy. That was their call, not mine." Charlie grinned.

Emmett huffed out a breath. "I want all of you to listen closely to what quite possibly may be the last words I utter before I die:" He cleared his throat "You all suck, and I hate you." He seethed as he stormed over to the Insanity in order to board.

Everyone laughed.

I knew that for the rest of my life I would regret what I did next, but I couldn't seem to stop myself from trudging over to stand next to him. He looked up at me in surprise before smiling.

I shrugged.

"You're seriously going to do this with me?" He grinned.

"Why not? I can't let you do something this cool alone can I?" I smirked.

We fist-bumped and boarded the first ride. Just before it started, Emmett turned to me one last time. "This ride should include a change of underwear with the price of admission because I'm pretty certain I'm going to shit myself."

He didn't.

-LRM—

After our excursion to Hell and back, twice, there was a seismic shift in my relationship with Emmett. I felt it. He and I had bonded in a way similar to soldiers forced into the trenches together, or astronauts aboard a rocket to the moon, he was my bro, my homie, my dawg.

And we were going to look out for each other.

I found out immediately that being in Emmett's 'bro zone' was highly preferable to the alternative, such as when we exited the roof of the Stratosphere and he gave me a 'heads up' to wait for the next elevator.

I wasn't certain what he had planned for the other members of our group, but I could guess.

So Sidney and I waited, and travelled down on the next one, only to find the rest of our group, not surprisingly, gasping for air in the lobby.

Yes, cross Emmett Swan and your payback will be to travel the equivalence of seventy floors in an elevator filled with noxious fumes.

-LRM—

Back at the suite, I filled Chris in on the events at the Stratosphere. He shook his head amidst his laughter. "I am so glad I opted out of that adventure. I don't like heights." He admitted with a shudder.

Bella and I had kept in touch via phone calls and texts for most of the day. It was killing me that she was so close, but I wasn't able to go to her. I could literally see The Bellagio from the balcony of the suite.

After our harrowing experience at the Stratosphere, Emmett and I began to drink. Not a lot, at first, but enough to take the edge off. I should have known that drinking before dinner was a sign of bad things to come.

As soon as everyone took showers and changed clothes, Emmett being sure to wear his 'Dead Man Walking' t-shirt, we left for dinner.

The early dinner led to more drinks, followed by a trip to the casino accompanied by, you guessed it, drinking. I was a bit fuzzy, but still in control.

Within fifteen minutes of our arrival back at the suite, the bachelor party was in full swing. The suite resembled the lounge of an upscale dance club. Music blared from the sound system and a large spread of every guy's favorite foods was displayed on the kitchen island. The bartender hired for the evening, helped those not already shit-faced to accomplish that goal. Gregory seemed to be ahead of all of us as he sat on the sofa with his arm around a blow-up doll, using its 'love orifice' as a drink holder.

What a tool

"I understand I have you to thank for the choice of this suite." Emmett slurred as he came up beside me and patted me on the back while slipping a drink into my hand.

"What's this?" I asked before taking a sip.

"It's called a Flying Fuck." He answered as I almost choked on the drink.

"Hey it was either that or a Comfortable Screw which sounds like a pussy drink, in more ways than one." He said with a chuckle.

We were standing there drinking and reminiscing about our ordeal earlier in the day, when we were interrupted by none other than Christopher who demanded our participation in a game of 'Three Man'.

"Come on boys, if I'm going to have to watch Gregory do obscene things with that blow-up doll, I'll need more alcohol." He grinned.

I was getting more wasted by the minute, but after a while I ceased to care. Mid-way through the game, Charlie announced that he had a headache and would be in his room, should we need him.

He no sooner had left than Gregory turned down the music and started a porno on the flat screen. The drinking games were abandoned in favor of the porn. It had begun to get weird anyway since Jasper had convinced himself that we were playing 'Flip, Sip, or Strip', and kept trying to take his clothes off.

Having no interest in the porn, I walked over to the bar for a refill.

"This Flying Fuck is smoooth. Whas innit?" I asked my future brother in law who was standing there.

His forehead creased as if I'd just asked him to recite a difficult math equation.

"Itsa little bit of this and that and some Sam something in it. I think."

Damn. Emmett's farther gone that I am.

"Sambuca." The bartender corrected.

He grinned. "That's it!" Emmett exclaimed before looking a bit unsteady on his feet. "I'm feeling sorta shitty. I gotta sit down."

"You okay Emmett?" I asked as I helped him to a stool.

I dropped into the stool beside him and continued to nurse my drink.

"Jasper has lost his mind" Chris informed as he came to sit beside us. "He's continuing to play the game, alone."

Sure enough, we glanced over to find Jasper furiously rolling the dice and drinking like a fucking fish.

"That's dis-gus-ting." Chris announced, drawing out each syllable. The expression on his face was as if he'd just witnessed someone taking a giant crap in the middle of the room. I followed his line of vision until my eyes were met with a flat screen filled with silicone-enhanced tits bouncing up and down, as their owner straddled a naked dude wearing a Zorro mask.

I grimaced. "Those are the fakest, ugliest, most lopsided tits I've ever seen." I announced to no one in particular." Then quietly I added. "Bella has beautiful breasts." I sighed, wishing I was with Bella and her beautiful naked breasts at that very moment.

I heard the sound of someone choking or possibly gagging beside me. I turned to find Emmett looking sort of green.

"Emmett, are you okay? You don't look so good buddy." I asked as Chris turned to look at him worriedly.

"Oh no! I think he's choking. Edward…do you know the hemlock maneuver?" Chris asked as his eyes bugged out of his head.

"Heimlich?" I corrected.

"Yeah, that too."

As soon as Emmett began to speak, I breathed a sigh of relief, glad he wasn't, in fact, choking. "Wha'd you juss say Eddie? Were you talkin about Bella's bewbs?" He asked, looking less green but a lot horrified. "Cause I don't want to hear about her bewbs. You feel me bro?"

"I don't want to feel you Emmett. But I bet Chris would take you up on that offer." I snorted out a laugh as Chris cackled beside us.

I looked back at Emmett to see him still frowning. At that exact moment my phone chimed with an incoming message. It was from Alice, I didn't have time to wonder if something was wrong before I realized she'd sent me a photo.

As soon as I opened the photo, I was the one choking while almost dropping the phone in the process.

There she was, my innocent, heartbreakingly lovely Bella, her luscious lips pursed as if about to blow me a kiss. Or about to blow something… Those pink perfect lips, that kept my heart beating for another day each time they would utter 'I love you'; those lips which I kissed often and when I wasn't kissing them, I was wishing I was kissing them. I gazed at those same lips, captured for posterity, just as they were about to wrap themselves around a purple pecker straw.

Chris, naturally curious about my reaction, grabbed the phone from my hand and gasped. Unfortunately Emmett, who was also able to see the screen quite well from his seat between us, groaned and suddenly lurched from his seat.

He mumbled what sounded like, "I gotta go throw up" from behind his hand as he bounded toward the stairs.

Chris shrugged drunkenly and looked back at the photo of my girl and her purple penis. "I am definitely at the wrong party." He said with a sigh.

-LRM—

Out on the balcony, away from the porno noises and drunken heavy breathing in the main room, Chris sat with me while I attempted to phone my beautiful girl.

My phone, however, refused to cooperate. It was probably my blurry vision, but my contacts list looked as if it had been written in ancient Aramaic. Instead of fooling with it any longer, I decided to punch in Bella's number from memory.

"Hello" a groggy female voice answered.

"Beautiful" I breathed "I'm very jealous of that straw" I hiccupped as I tried to suppress the burp that was trying to escape. "or rather my cock is jealous."

I heard Chris chuckle.

I am so fucking drunk

"Who the hell is this?" Bella asked, sounding rather irate.

"It's me sweetheart. Don't you miss me? I miss you. I was thinking how much I missed your beautiful breasts." I breathed.

"What? Listen here you pervert, you'd better hang up before I call the cops."

"Bella, why do you need the police? Has something happened?" I slurred.

"There's something going to happen alright. I'm going to find out where you are and send my husband over there to kick your ass."

"Your… your husband? Bella what are you talking about? I'm going to be your husband."

Oh no. What is going on? Bella doesn't have a husband…

Does she?

"Listen here you little fucker, I wouldn't marry a pervert like you if you paid me a million bucks."

I stood, stricken, staring at my phone as my heart fell to pieces at my feet.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder as another was prying the phone from my cold numb fingers. I looked up to see Sidney standing beside me. "Edward, sir, let me get that."

I relinquished the phone and turned to look in the direction of the Bellagio trying to make sense of what was happening.

I could hear Sidney speaking to Bella, but I didn't want to listen any more.

"Edward, what happened?" Chris asked with concern in his voice.

"She.. she told me she wouldn't marry me.. not if I paid her a million bucks…" I wanted to break down and cry.

"How about ten million? You know you're good for it." He suggested.

"No Chris." I sat down and cradled my head in my hands. "She said she already has a husband, she told me if I didn't leave her alone, he'd come kick my ass."

"Noooo" Chris wailed. "Not our beautiful girl. She would never do that Edward. She loves you too much."

I looked up at him from my hands, wanting to believe him, but her cruel words were still ringing in my ears.

"Unless…" Chris continued.

"What?" I asked.

"Unless someone slipped her ruffies and married her in a quickie Vegas wedding!" He shouted. "Oh my God, do you think Elvis performed the ceremony?"

I slumped into my hands again. "I can't take it Chris. Why is this happening?" I wailed. "After everything we've been through together. I can't lose her."

I could hear Sidney still arguing on the phone, and then he grew quiet.

"I blame myself. I should have gone with the girls and looked after Bella." Chris said as a tear rolled down his cheek.

I stood and walked to the railing, pressing the lower half of my body against it. It was the closest I could get to the Bellagio from our suite. "Bellaaaa!" I wailed.

"Oh how very Stanley Kowalski of you" Chris said through his sniffles "You're a natural Edward."

"Sir, why don't you come back inside now?" Sidney had come up behind me and grasped my shoulder.

I shook my head fiercely and looked back at the Bellagio. "My beautiful brown eyed girl" I whispered before starting to hum the tune. Soon I was singing the song in earnest. "You my brown eyed girl" I wailed over the balcony.

"Standing in the sunlight laughing, hiding hind a something something, slipping and a slidin all along the waterfall witchu my brown eyed girl"

"So beautiful.." Chris said through his tears.

"Do you remember when we used to sing, Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da, la te da, I love yooouuu, my brown eyed girl."

"Edward, son, listen to Sidney and come inside." I suddenly hear the Chief's voice from behind me.

I wonder if he knows Bella got married

I shook my head. "I'm staying here forever."

Charlie continued to speak, only not to me, while Chris sobbed beside me.

"So hard to find my way, now that I'm on my own…" I paused, I was too choked up to sing any more.

I could hear the Chief speaking with Sidney again. "I don't know what the hell happened while I was lying down, but now I've got Emmett upstairs puking and Jasper running around naked."

"Oh boy." Sidney muttered.

"Well, let's attempt to get these two back inside."

I felt the Chief's hand on my shoulder. "Come on Edward. Let's go in. Uh, Caesar's has rules against singing on the balcony."

"Really?" I asked "Are you gonna arrest me Chief?"

"Oh can this day turn any more tragic?" Chris wailed.

"You won't be arrested if you both come inside right now." Charlie answered in a serious tone.

Chris and I shuffled our way through the French doors. "Hey!" I said as I thought about what I'd heard the Chief say. "Why is Jasper naked?"

Sidney shrugged. "I don't know Edward but I've got to check on Emmett and Jasper." Charlie answered before turning toward the stairs.

"Oh dear God!" Chris exclaimed. "I've got to hide!" He shouted as he tried to dive behind the curtains. "This won't work. These are practically see-through."

Huh?

I gave him a puzzled look as Sidney steered me toward the sofa. "Christopher, why are you hiding?"

"Because!" He shouted "I can't see Jasper naked. He's gorgeous and he's my secret crush. Well, not really very secret, but he's my best friend's husband and, and…. if I see him naked it would be wrong." He said in a panic. "If I see Jasper naked, I'll never be able to unsee that, and every time I see him after that he'll be naked, in my mind." He whispered the last three words. "I'm hiding in the closet." He announced as he raced toward the foyer. He stopped as he passed the bar, grabbing a pitcher of some concoction, "I'm taking this with." He announced before disappearing from the room.

I shook my head, trying to dispel the drunken haze, before flopping down on the sofa near Bo and Gregory.

"Edward, I'm going to help the Chief for a minute. You wait right here."

I nodded. I didn't need to tell him that there was nowhere else for me to go. I sighed. Suddenly I was feeling completely alone in the world.

I glanced up at the screen to find some dude in a black cape standing in the shadows beside a field surrounded by thick trees while having a conversation with a naked bimbo.

"You need to see what I look like in the sunlight" The dude with the cape said just before he stepped out of the shadows and into the brightly lit field.

I couldn't see any change until he threw back his cape, causing my eyes to open wide in surprise.

"Can someone tell me why his dick sparkles in the sunlight?" I asked aloud of no one.

I heard Bo and Gregory laughing beside me.

"Because he's a vampire dude, haven't you been paying attention?" Bo continued to laugh. "He dazzles mortal chicks with his sparkly cock."

That didn't make a damned bit of sense.

Why the hell am I worried about some porn vampire's dick while my world is crashing down around me anyway?

As I pondered the fact that my life had no meaning without Bella, and the fact that I really needed to take a piss, Sidney returned.

"Sidney, I think I have lost the will to live." I muttered.

"Why's that sir?"

Was he smirking?

"Because" I could barely bring myself to say the words. "My Bella." I croaked. "My Bella has married someone else."

"Sir, I'm sure you're wrong about that."

"Oh no Sidney, she told me on the phone. She yelled at me and told me her husband was going to kick my ass." I said. "You spoke with her…"

He looked confused.

I rolled my eyes. "Out on the balcony when you took my phone…"

A look of realization came over Sidney's face. "Edward, that wasn't Bella." He stated firmly. "You dialed a wrong number. You woke up some lady in Pennsylvania. She was understandably upset."

"Pennsylvania?" I whispered.

It wasn't Bella?

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes sir. She chewed me out thinking I was you at first. You most definitely weren't speaking with Bella."

"Bella's not married to someone else?"

"Not as far as I know sir."

"Oh" I sat back, stunned. Then I was hit with the sudden urge to speak with her before someone was able to slip ruffies in her drink and steal her away from me. "I need my phone."

"Uh…" Sidney stuttered.

"Where's my phone?" I asked as I began to look around. At that moment I spied a phone lying on the sofa next to Gregory and grabbed it into my eager hands.

This time don't fuck up the number

I started punching buttons but nothing happened.

"What the fuck?" Bo exclaimed loudly from his spot on the sofa. "Are you sitting on the remote Greg?"

"No.. I'm not sitting on it…hey! Gimme that" Gregory yelled as he tried to take the phone from my hand.

I refused to let him. "You can't have it. I need to call my girl."

"Are you stupid? That's not a phone." Gregory continued to yell as he attempted once again to take the phone from me.

"Boys cut it out!" I heard the Chief bark at us.

"Stop that!" I snapped as I tried to push Gregory's hand away.

"Let go douchebag!" He demanded.

I glared at him. "The stupid thing is broken anyway" I shouted as I threw it at him. "motherfucking motherfucker." My brain was so foggy that it failed to come up with a better insult.

Bo laughed.

I really didn't have time for those idiots. I needed to get to my girl. And help Chris escape the naked Jasper. I turned my head in order to tell Sidney that we needed to go to the Bellagio immediately, when my eyes beheld a sight almost as scary as the sparkly vampire cock.

Speak of the devil

There stood Jasper Whitlock, halfway down the stairs, naked as the day he was born. "Alice" He shouted. "I need you Ali. I think Ima lil wasted…"

"Jesus Christ" The Chief muttered as he ran back upstairs pulling Jasper along with him.

"Where's my Alice?" I heard Jasper begging.

I blinked several times, trying to remember what I wanted to tell Sidney.

Bellagio. Bella. Right.

"Sidney, we've gotta go right now." I announced as I stood from the sofa and swayed drunkenly. Sidney grabbed my arm. "We've gotta find my girl. And we gotta get Chris out of here." I whispered "before naked Jasper comes back."

Sidney nodded. "I think that's probably for the best Edward. This evening didn't turn out as I expected. Not at all." He muttered before turning to Gregory and Bo. "When the Chief comes back down, please inform him that Edward, Christopher and I have gone to the Bellagio."

They nodded before turning back to their porn.

Once near the front door, I called out for Chris. "Christopher, where are you?"

"I'm in here" sang a muffled voice from behind the closet door.

I pressed my face against the door and spoke into it, "Chris, come out of the closet" I directed.

"I already did, about ten years ago." He answered with a cackle.

I laughed too. "Come on, we're going to find Bella."

The door popped open. "But aren't you afraid?" He whispered.

"Of what?"

"Her husband. He's going to kick your ass." Chris looked worried.

"Oh" I laughed. "It was all a misunnerstandinin"

Fuck that was hard to say

"Bella's not married. I dialed a wrong number. Someone else's husband is gonna kick my ass."

"Oh! Well that's a relief." Chris smiled before glancing toward the main room. "Is Jasper still naked?" He asked in a whisper.

"Yep. Just saw him."

Chris cringed. "Then what are we waiting for?" He grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door.

In no time at all, we had arrived at the Bellagio. I could feel the drunken stupor beginning to lift. We arrived at the suite, and Lou met us outside the door. "Do you need us to go in with you?" Sidney asked.

I grinned. "Nah, I can do this myself. Thanks Sidney" I said as I slapped him on the back.

Besides, I really need to take a piss

Upon entering the suite, I spied the door to Bella and Alice's bedroom to the left of the sitting room, and made my way over to it.

"Thank you God! I am in peen heaven. This is my happy place!" Chris squealed excitedly from behind me.

I stifled my laughter as I entered the bedroom. It was dark, and I could just make out the two sleeping figures in the bed.

I wonder if Alice will leave if I tell her about drunk naked Jasper?

It was worth a try to have the chance to be alone with Bella. I used the bathroom, and then slipped back into the bedroom.

Bella was here, but I had to see her in order to put my drunken fears to rest.

The figure closest to me had long brown hair spilling off of her pillow and over the edge of the bed.

I approached, but didn't touch her. Instead I bent down to whisper near her ear. "Beautiful, I'm here. I missed you so much." I reached down and brushed the hair away from her face and was met with two wide blinking eyes. Even in the dark, I could tell that those eyes didn't belong to my girl.

The woman staring back at me proceeded to let out a shrill scream.

That sobered me up.

"Get out!" She screeched as I lurched backward, tripping and landing on my ass in the middle of the floor. I looked up to see the darkened silhouettes if two females, the screams emanating from their mouths were enough to wake the dead.

I didn't even attempt to stand; instead I scrambled to my hands and knees and crawled as quickly as I could out of the room before they had a chance to start throwing things.

Once in the sitting room, I jumped to my feet and slammed straight into another body. The electric hum alerted me to the fact that it was my beautiful girl, and I immediately wrapped my arms around her soft warm body to keep her from falling.

"Bella" I breathed into her ear.

"Edward" She whispered.

As soon as she wrapped her arms tight around me, I felt myself starting to relax.

She turned toward Chris then, "Chris would you tell Marlene and Jennie that it was just Edward looking for me." She asked as she gestured toward the room I'd just fled.

Chris laughed. "Will do."

"I was losing my mind without you…." I began.

"Come on, let's go to bed, we can talk in the morning." She whispered as she moved to my side, both arms still wrapped around me, and led me down a short hallway on the other side of the sitting room.

A little while later as we lay in bed, wrapped around each other, I asked a burning question, "Bella" I whispered with my eyes closed.

"Hmm?"

"Do I have to have a bachelor party?" I whined.

"We'll talk about it in the morning Edward." She whispered.

*****************************A/N**********************************

A/N I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted after that, and feel a little hungover. I have to say that I let Christopher run amok through this chapter…he pretty much owned it before the end.

I'm sure that some of it wasn't quite what you expected, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.

Stanley Kowalski—character in 'A Streetcar Named Desire' made famous by Marlon Brando. The most memorable scene was when Stanley shouted: 'Stellaaa' in the street.

Next up V&V, probably 2 chaps. Time will progress a bit faster now as the weddings approach. (did I hear applause? Yes, I believe I did).

Let me know your thoughts in the form of a review (I love them) and I also love to hear what you're thinking via the Facebook page (link on my profile page). Photos and anything else I have to say, I will post there. Along with sneak peeks.

Ciao!

Flying Fuck
1 1/2 oz. Sambuca
1 1/2 oz. Jack Daniels
serve in lowball glass

Comfortable Screw
1 oz. vodka
3/4 oz. Southern Comfort
fill with orange juice
serve in highball glass