Warning: Rubber boots needed.

UNEDITED

Chapter Five

Cars and Computers

- "Where the hell is my cell!"

Shortly after Maxie left, Sam realized that she did not have her cellphone. She searched up and down but it was nowhere to be found. She had a house line, but she never used it; in fact the only person who knew the phone number was her mother, and that was because Alexis had insisted that no normal human being should ever depend solely on his or her cell phone. Sam rolled her eyes as she dialed her mother's phone number.

Alexis was sitting on her couch reading the paper when the phone rang. She took her bicycle wheel glasses off and smiled at the phone.

- "Well, well, well! I never thought that I would ever see 'Samantha's Apartment' show up on my caller ID."

Sam shook her head and smiled.

- "Hello, Mother."

- "I thought you didn't need a land line? I thought it was archaic?"

- "I never said it was archaic—"

Alexis interrupted her laughing.

- "No, I believe you said it was old fashioned and out dated, and a waste of money—"

- "Which is why you pay for it."

Alexis sighed and shook her head.

- "Happily so, seeing as you've OBVIOUSLY lost your cell."

- "Yea. Do you have it?"

- "Nope, but Jason does; you left it at his place."

Sam blushed.

- "He came by?"

Before Alexis could answer, there was a knock at Sam's door.

- "Mom, I'll call you back."

Alexis had a feeling that Jason had arrived at Sam's place; she wanted to be able to tell her daughter what had happened with him before he could. Unfortunately, Sam hung up before she could stop her.

- "Sh!t."

Sam opened the door to her apartment to find Jason on the other side holding her cell phone out. She leaned her head against the door and smiled.

- "Thank you. I've been looking all over the place for that."

He smiled at her before leaning in to kiss her.

- "Glad to help."

She stood aside to let him into the apartment.

- "Did you stop by the lake house first?"

He looked uncomfortable; Sam picked up on his discomfort. She rubbed the side of her face.

- "Oh God, what did my mother say to you?"

He sighed and sat down on the couch.

- "Well, she told me that she wouldn't meddle—"

- "Yea, I'm sure she did—"

- "And she basically told me that she will hurt me if I did anything to hurt you."

Sam gaped at him for a few moments; she was not sure if he was being serious or exaggerating. However, because she knew that Jason was not entirely capable of lying, she became annoyed.

- "Are you kidding me? My mother said she would hurt you? Hurt you, hurt you? Or hurt you like have you thrown in jail?"

He nodded his head.

- "Hurt me, hurt me."

He noticed her agitation, so he continued.

- "Sam, you know how Alexis is; she's protective over you and your sisters."

Sam shook her head and paced the room.

- "No, that's not the point. Who says that! She doesn't want me with you because she thinks that you're dangerous, but now she's going around threatening you? What exactly did she tell you?"

- "She said that she was proud of the person that you've become since you and I broke up. She said that she didn't ever want to see you heartbroken like that again, and if it happened again, and I was the cause, she would hurt me. She brought up the Cassidines—"

Sam through up her hands in shock.

- "Are you KIDDING me? The CASSIDINES? What the hell is wrong with that woman? I'm going to talk to her."

Jason stood up and pulled her to him.

- "I hope you don't blame on talking to her right this instant? I was hoping that you would talk to me first."

She smiled at him coyly.

- "Talk? Is that what we're going to call what we did last night?"

He whisked her up and carried her to her bedroom.

Alexis knew that she was going to catch hell from her daughter for speaking to Jason. She was fairly certain that Sam would accuse her of being intrusive despite having promised that she would not be. Alexis did not care; she could not see Jason and not say anything to him about how he treated Sam previously. She had to make it clear to him that he was not dealing with the same kind of woman the second time around; Sam was an independent woman now.

- "Still, why the hell did you threaten him? That girl is going to blow a gasket when she hears about this."

The phone rang again; she picked it up quickly without looking at the I.D.

- "I'm sorry, honey—"

- "Honey? I'm glad you're not mad at me anymore."

Alexis rolled her eyes; it was Mac.

- "I thought you were Sam. What do you want?"

He was disappointed; he had hoped that the flowers would have helped.

- "Come on Lex, I really am sorry about hurting your feelings. I didn't mean to insinuate that you were old—"

- "Mac, what the hell else was I supposed to think? You might as well have suggested that Charlotte had her web inside my uterus—"

He was beyond apologetic for making her feel badly.

- "I'm so sorry, Lex. Did you get the flowers?"

She was confused; she had not received anything.

- "Flowers?"

Mac smacked himself in the head.

- "God, I'm going to kill Robin—"

She frowned.

- "Robin? You had Robin order flowers for you to send to me? You're so apologetic that you couldn't manage to order them yourself?"

Mac could not believe that he managed to mess up again; how did he continuously manage to put his foot in his mouth whenever speaking to Alexis?

- "Lex, I AM sorry! I just figured that she knew more about flowers, and would be able to choose a better bouquet than I could. It's all the same! I'm still sorry!"

- "Did you have her write out a card as well? Or did you have her put the standard apologetic signatures? 'I'm sorry that your AARP card got lost in the mail;' 'I'm sorry I didn't realize you got shiny new dentures;' 'I'm sorry—"

The doorbell rang. Alexis looked at the door; it was the deliveryman with the flowers. She got up to answer the door. Mac took the momentary silence to try and convince Alexis of his sincerity.

- "LEX, come on! I haven't done this in a really long time! This is really new to me. It's been years since I was in a relationship. Fine, I probably should've taken care of the flowers on my own, but—"

Alexis interrupted him to read the card's message.

- "'I apologize from the most profound depths of my heart for having offended you as I did. It was a cruel and malicious act, for which I have no one to blame but my chauvinistic male mind.'"

Mac shook his head in disbelief at Robin's idea of an apology written in his words.

- "Lex—"

Alexis shook her head and hung up the phone. She knew that she was being hard on him, but her feelings were really hurt by his insinuations, and she refused to let anyone in too easily; it seemed that the last time she did that, her daughter was kidnapped and nearly blown up. She refused to give her heart to another man—

- "Wait, what the hell am I talking about, give me heart? Mac and I are just friends. Lex, get it together! You're reading too much into all of this."

She looked at the lovely Calla Lilies Robin had ordered in her uncle's name. She had to smile because it was definitely something a man would do: have a woman order something nice to give to a woman he's interested in. She smiled for a moment before frowning.

- "God, you're making assumptions! Mac's known you for years and has shown zero interest; what in the world makes you think that something has suddenly changed."

Alexis rested her elbows on her knees and held her head up in her hands, as she stared at the flowers.

- "They ARE nice. I guess it's the thought that counts."

Kristina walked into the house from school.

- "Hey Mom."

Alexis continued to stare absent-mindedly at the flowers. Kristina walked up to her and waved her hand in front of her mother's face.

- "Earth to Alexis."

Alexis snapped out of her semi-conscious state and stared at her daughter.

- "Oh hi, sweetie. When did you get home?"

Kristina rolled her eyes.

- "Like 30 seconds ago."

Alexis stood up and kissed her daughter on the cheek.

- "I'm sorry honey. How was school?"

- "It was okay. Mom, I'm really sorry about this morning—"

Alexis put her hand up and interrupted her daughter.

- "Kristina, it's fine—"

- "No it's not, I came into your room without knocking and then made you feel bad—"

Alexis took Kristina's face in her hands.

- "Sweetheart, it's fine. I overreacted. I mean, what teenager would ever want to see her mother naked? I was just upset over something else, and took it out on you. It's fine, okay?"

Kristina nodded her head.

- "Okay, but what was bothering you?"

She smiled embarrassingly at her daughter.

- "Um, it's not important. Just know that none of this was your fault, okay? Now what do you think we should have for dinner?"

- "Well, I was actually planning on seeing Kiefer tonight—"

Alexis shook her head.

- "Kristina, it's a school night, and you're not going to get into the habit of blowing off dinner with your family to meet with Kiefer—"

Kristina shook her head in disbelief at her mother.

- "I thought you said you liked him?"

- "I do like him, but as I just said, it's a school night, and you're having dinner with your family—"

- "I have dinner with you every night."

- "Exactly, so you shouldn't be surprised that you're having dinner with us tonight again."

Kristina walked away from her mother in a huff.

- "This is so stupid!"

Alexis was growing tired of Kristina's attitude.

- "Kristina, let me explain something to you. You're not the adult in this house. If you had wanted to go out with Kiefer, you should have ASKED me beforehand. You don't tell me that you're going to blow dinner with your family on a school night to see him. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. Now lose the attitude, or you won't go out with him for the next two weeks."

Kristina was angry.

- "That is so not fair!"

Alexis glared at her daughter.

- "Kristina—"

- "Fine."

She left and went to her room. Alexis shook her head; she did not know where her innocent daughter went.

Mac called Robin after Alexis hung up on him… again.

- "Robin, what in the world was up with the card you sent with the flowers?"

- "Um, I don't know, Uncle Mac, what was wrong with it?"

He rubbed the side of his head as he spoke to his niece; he needed to make amends with Alexis.

- "Cruel and Malicious? Chauvinistic? That doesn't sound anything like me!"

Robin rolled her eyes on the other line.

- "You told me to order flowers and have them sent to Alexis' house. You told me to write an apology, but you didn't bother giving me an impression on how you wanted the card read. Sorry, but you should've known what I would say!"

Mac covered his face with his hands.

- "What in the world am I going to do? I think she's more mad at me now than she was before."

Robin smiled as she listened to her uncle whine.

- "It sounds to me as though you like Alexis—"

Mac did not really know how he felt about her.

- "No, I just—I don't know Robin, I just feel bad about this morning—"

Her stomach became queasy at the thought of her uncle and Alexis in bed together.

- "Uncle Mac, I don't need you to rehash that whole awkward moment to me. Maxie called me, and we were both traumatized; we really don't want to imagine you like that. Maybe you should talk to Patrick—"

While Mac had grown to like his nephew-in-law, he certainly was not going to talk to him about his private life.

- "I need to get out more."

- "You do. And you know what? I'm going to help you fix that."

He sighed into the phone; Robin was always attempting to help someone with his or her problems. She was a bit of a busy body.

- "No Robin, it's okay—"

- "Nope. I'm not taking no for an answer! I'll see you later, Uncle Mac. I love you!"

She hung the phone leaving him feeling apprehensive about what his niece might be up to.

Sam woke up later that afternoon in Jason's arms; she could never grow tired of waking up that way. She turned her body to face him. She gave him a sweet kiss on the neck. He groaned and looked at the tiny woman and rolled over on top of her.

- "Hi."

She smiled at him and stared into his deep blue eyes.

- "Hi. Did you sleep well?"

He was never expressive in his feelings, but she could always read his eyes.

- "I did. I'm glad that we got to this point again. I've missed you."

She leaned in and kissed him on the lips.

- "I missed you too. I think we needed to get to that point in our relationship so that we could, I don't know, become a stronger—"

She hesitated because she did not know what exactly she and Jason had become to each other. He kissed her again before finishing her sentence.

- "Couple."

Sam nodded her head.

- "Couple."

The couple made love once more. Unfortunately, in the middle of said lovemaking, Jason's phone began to ring. Sam screamed… in displeasure.

- "You better not pick that up!"

Jason was no more happy than she was.

- "I'm sorry, Sam; I have to get it."

This was one of the things she did not miss about being in a relationship with him.

- "Fine."

He groaned as he rolled off of her to retrieve his phone. As he answered, she got off of the bed and headed into her bathroom to shower.

After he got off of the phone, he poked his head into the bathroom.

- "Sam, I have to go."

She was all too familiar with the drill.

- "Okay. We'll talk later."

He walked into the bathroom, pulled back the curtain and grabbed her. He kissed her passionately, not caring that the shower was wetting him as well.

- "I'll see you later."

He let his hands wander for a few minutes before leaving. She turned the temperature of the water from hot to cold.

Alexis was placing the dinner plates on the table when Molly and Viola walked through the door.

- "Hi, Mommy."

Alexis put the plates down to give her daughter a kiss.

- "Hi baby. Vi, thanks so much for picking her up from science group. Do you want to have dinner with us?"

The nanny had been with Alexis since Kristina was born; she was like another member of the family.

- "Thanks Alexis, but I've got other plans tonight."

As she was leaving the house, she ran into Sam.

- "Hey Sam, how are you?"

Sam smiled at the nanny.

- "Viola, I'm good, thanks. Headed out?"

Viola winked at her.

- "Yea, I've got a date."

- "Oooh! Have fun!"

Sam walked into the house to find Alexis smiling innocently at her, as she seemed to hold Molly in front of her as a human shield.

- "Hi Mol!"

Molly tried to go give Sam a hug, but Alexis held her firmly in her spot.

- "Mom—"

- "Molly."

Sam smirked at her mother.

- "It's okay, Mom."

Alexis released Molly so that the girl could hug her sister.

- "Hey Sam."

- "How was school, Mol?"

- "Not bad, we discussed the molecular infusions."

Sam frowned. It seemed that the old Molly got, the harder it was to understand what she was saying.

- "Um, that sounds wonderful!"

Alexis smiled nervously at her two girls.

- "Molly, why don't you get changed and washed up; dinner will be here in twenty minutes."

- "Okay."

After Molly left the room, Alexis went back to setting the table as Sam glared at her. Alexis felt her daughter's stares burning a hole into her head.

- "Sam, if you're going to just glare at me and not say anything, can you get the glasses from the table and help me set the table; I assume you're staying for dinner?"

Sam crossed her arms in annoyance.

- "Mom, didn't you tell me that you weren't going to interfere?"

Alexis looked innocently at her daughter.

- "Honey, I didn't—"

- "What the hell do you call telling Jason that if he hurts me, you're going to open a can of Cassidine whoop ass on him?"

Alexis tried to control her laughter.

- "I never said that—"

- "You MIGHT AS WELL HAVE!"

- "Honey, calm down! Come on, I told him that that was all I was going to tell him. I have no intention of saying anything else to him, so you don't have to worry about that—"

Sam shook her head.

- "Mom, please don't say anything else to him—"

Alexis put the silverware down on the table and walked over to her daughter.

- "Sam, I'm serious, I won't. Look, I've seen the change in you, and I just don't want you to return to your former ways now that you're back in a relationship with him."

- "Mom, I won't. And I'll even give you the very limited permission to let me know if you notice that I'm slipping back into old habits… Speaking of slipping in—"

Sam pointed to the door; Mac was standing outside. Alexis turned around to see him standing there, before wagging her finger at her daughter.

- "Slipping in? You're disgusting."

She winked at her mother.

- "And yet you manage to keep up with the jokes. That doesn't say much about you, Mom."

Alexis shook her head and walked to the door.

- "Honey, finish setting the table for me please.

Seeing him standing there, she had the instinctive desire to cover herself up… with a burlap sack, a parka, and medieval armor. She sighed, and opened the door.

- "Hi Mac. This is an unexpected visit. Come in, I guess."

He walked into the house.

- "Hi Alexis. I'm sorry about stopping by unannounced. I just thought I should apologize, AGAIN. I swear I'm just putting my foot in my mouth, left and right, and I figured that if I stopped by and spoke to you, then you couldn't hang the phone up in my face—"

Alexis looked at the silverware on the table; they were having steak for dinner.

- "Um, I guess I can't do that if you're here."

Sam walked in carrying the glasses.

- "Hey Mac. Staying for dinner?"

Alexis glared at her daughter, who smiled back at her.

- "Hi Sam. Um, no, I'm actually going to Robin's tonight."

Alexis rolled her eyes.

- "Yea, perhaps you can have her write some more cards out for you—"

Sam did not know what she had missed since going home, but she was happy to have a front row seat for this round of MacLexis toss-about.

Mac blushed.

- "I'm really sorry, Lex. I didn't want to write something and then it came out all wrong."

Sam spied the fresh flowers on the sofa console table, she walked over and noticed the card sitting beside it.

- "Yea, nothing says 'I'm sorry' than 'blame my chauvinistic male mind.'"

Alexis walked over to Sam and grabbed the card.

- "Go to your room."

Sam laughed and walked out of the living room toward Kristina's room; she had not seen her since she got to the house.

Alexis turned back to Mac.

- "You know she's right though."

Mac shook his head apologetically.

- "I know she is, Alexis. Look, you're my friend, and I didn't mean to offend you. It was just weird for us to wake up like that, and then for you to ask me about a condom—"

Alexis cut her off as a realization hit her. She turned beet red.

- "Oh my God."

- "What's the matter?"

Flashback

They were both completely undressed and making out in the middle of his bedroom.

- "Alexis—"

- "Huh?"

He started to laugh aloud.

- "You're a car—"

She frowned at him.

- "What?"

He gave her a peck on the lips.

- "A Lexus. You're a luxury car."

She smiled at him.

- "Well, you're a computer."

He smirked.

- "I guess I am—"

She reached down.

- "Can I see your hard drive?"

He kissed her again and moved her to the bed. He did all the right things to get her further into the mood, but nothing was working for him. After about fifteen minutes of attempts, he rolled off of her.

- "I think I'm too drunk to drive a stick tonight."

Alexis sighed.

- "Shame, my automatic is at home in the top drawer."

They both drunkenly retreated to their corners and quickly fell asleep.

End of Flashback

Alexis suppressed her laughter as she saw the look on Mac's face.

- "Um, I'm going to go home, now."

He reddened more than he had ever thought imaginable; he walked out of the house without turning back to look at her.

Once he was out of earshot, Alexis burst into hysterics causing all three of her girls to run into the living room.

Sam shook her head.

- "Mom, what happened?"

Alexis could hardly speak, she was laughing so hard.

- "Let's just say—Mac and I… we're even now."