Partially edited.
Chapter Seven
Bail-Outs and Stimuli
Alexis sat in Kelly's enjoying her morning coffee, blueberry muffin, and newspaper, when Maxie walked in.
- "Ah, just who I wanted to see!"
Alexis put her paper down and looked surprisingly at the girl.
- "Me? Is there something going on with Sam?"
Maxie sat down at the table.
- "Huh? Nope, I'm sure if something were up with Sam, you'd hear from Diane."
Alexis took her reading glasses off.
- "Why would I hear from Diane about Sam, Maxie?"
- "Um, because I'm sure that any trouble that she'd get into will be on account of Jason. And believe me, I'm sure that Jason will get into trouble since he's practically got frequent flyer miles at the station. I mean, if only Mac could allow him to cash in on his miles. You know, for every 3,500 miles, he gets a free trip, but in this case it'll be a free trip out of jail."
Alexis stared at the girl as she rambled on.
- "Maxie—"
Maxie continued to ramble.
- "Seriously, Alexis, when Jason and Sam end up getting arrested, Diane will probably call you to take care of Sam since she's clearly not on her retainer—"
Alexis sighed and put her coffee down. It was too early in the morning for her to hear about her daughter's relationship with the Mob Enforcer.
- "Maxie, what do you want?"
Remembering what Sam had told her about saying anything bad about Alexis, Maxie smiled pleasantly and thought about what she wanted to say before blurting anything out.
- "What kind of Cassidine voodoo did you do to my father?"
As soon as she spoke, Maxie realized that thinking before she spoke was going to take more practice that she had originally thought.
Alexis, who perhaps should have been used to Maxie's thoughtless jabberings, was shocked by the girl's outburst.
- "What in the world are you talking about? I didn't do anything to Mac!"
- "Mac was just fine after my 'wedding'—"
Alexis cut her off.
- "Actually, he was pretty drunk—"
Maxie rebutted.
- "Apparently, so were you, which is how you ended up naked in his bed!"
Her comment was said a bit more loudly than Alexis would have liked; several patrons turned around to look at their table. Alexis blushed and covered her face. She counted to ten as she struggled to remember that one of her daughters was not sitting across from her; she could not ground the girl, or send her to her room, or make her life a living hell.
Maxie noticed Alexis' agitation; so she attempted to alleviate it.
- "Look Alexis—"
Alexis glared at the girl.
- "Don't speak. I don't know where you get off talking to me about any of this. Your father and I are adults. If you want to get into his business, that's perfectly fine. But what I do, and with whom is none of your concern."
Maxie frowned.
- "I'm sorry, but when I get woken up from my honeymoon to hear about how my father woke up with a naked woman in her bed, or how he had to send you flowers because he told you that you had tumbleweeds rolling in your uterus, it's my business!"
Alexis put her hands up in annoyance.
- "Whoa. This conversation has taken a turn that I'm not comfortable with. Now, I'm not admitting or denying what you've just said, but let me tell you something, you're not old enough to talk to me about where and how dressed or undressed I was when I woke up."
- "But—"
Alexis spoke to Maxie as though she were talking to one of her girls.
- "But nothing. I don't appreciate you coming here, interrupting my breakfast, and accusing me of doing something to your father. If he and I want to have sex until we're blue in the face, then that's our problem, not yours."
Maxie made a face.
- "That's something I did not need to visualize."
Alexis shrugged at the disgusted girl.
- "Well perhaps if you didn't stick your nose in other people's business, you wouldn't be imagining where your father was sticking—"
Maxie stood up quickly.
- "Um, okay… I get your point, Alexis. Just please do me a favor."
Alexis sighed.
- "What Maxie?"
She picked her purse up from the floor and grabbed her car keys from the table.
- "Um, if you're going to have awkward elderly sex with Mac, please make sure he uses the blue pill; you don't even want to IMAGINE his mood yesterday when we were over. His obvious problem… well, you clearly know what that problem was, put a serious damper on our family dinner."
Out of aggravation, Alexis smacked her hand hard on the table, causing her black coffee to spill over onto her grey suit.
- "GREAT!"
Maxie made haste to leave, but stuck her head back into the restaurant.
- "Um, I'm sure club soda'll get that right out."
Alexis shot Maxie an evil glare as she pulled out her cell phone.
- "GOODBYE MAXIE!"
As Maxie turned to leave, she ran into her father. She smiled nervously.
- "Hi Daddy! Um, bye Daddy!"
Her hasty demeanor confused Mac; he knew she was up to something, but he did not have the time to question her at that moment.
- "Okay. Bye, Maxie."
She left quickly.
When Mac walked into the diner, he saw, talking on the phone, what he assumed to be the reason behind daughter's prompt exit. He could have sworn he felt his ego shrink a bit.
Jason stared at her as she slept. He was amazed at the feelings that arose in him when she was around him. For someone who was supposed to be brain damaged, he was defeating the odds every time he was with her.
He brushed the hair from her face, which caused her to wake up. She looked at him and smiled.
- "Good morning."
He leaned in and gave her a kiss.
- "Hi."
She stretched and sat up.
- "What were you doing?"
- "Watching you sleep."
She leaned into him.
- "Well, I must say that I really like waking up to you looking at me."
He stood up and began walking out of the room; she called out after him.
- "Hey, where are you going?"
- "I'm making you breakfast."
She reached out to him.
- "Jason."
He turned around and looked at her.
- "Um, I think you've forgotten where you are."
- "I'm at your apartment."
She nodded her head.
- "And?"
He frowned. Sam got out of the bed, took his hand and led him into the kitchen. She opened a few cabinets and finally the refrigerator; there was no food in the house, save for a couple of bags of potato chips, popcorn, coffee, and boxes of tea.
- "I don't have any food."
The sight of the empty cabinets actually made him laugh.
- "I guess I forgot that you never really cooked."
She rolled her eyes.
- "Well, it wasn't until I lived with my mother that I realized that her inability to cook must be hereditary."
He shook his head and picked her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck.
- "Where are you taking me?"
- "Shower. Then we've got to go and get you some breakfast."
Alexis was so preoccupied with blotting the coffee from her favorite suit that she did not notice that he had walked into the restaurant. He thought about turning around and leaving before she saw him, but he needed a cup of coffee, and Kelly's happened to make the best cup in town. He apprehensively walked toward her.
- "Hey, Lex."
She looked up, and for the first time noticed Mac standing in the restaurant; she raised her eyebrow to him.
- "Oh hi, Mac. How are you? Are you here to meet Robin, or even better, Emma, to tell them about our encounter?"
Mac smacked himself in the head.
- "I guess that's why Maxie ran out of here. She's such a blabbermouth! Gee, I'm sorry about that. I wasn't even talking to her about it—"
She made a face.
- "Well, I may have said I woke up with someone in my bed, but I never told her whom."
Alexis put the napkins onto the table; there was no sense in attempting to clean a ruined suit.
- "She clearly knew a lot more than that! Mac, she said I have tumbleweeds rolling in my uterus!"
He covered his face in embarrassment.
- I never said anything about tumbleweeds!"
She sighed.
- "That doesn't matter, Mac. She accused me of performing Cassidine voodoo because her DADDY was so insane… blah, blah, blah."
He put his hands up innocently.
- "I swear to you, Lex, I was talking to Patrick and she and Robin—"
She shook her head.
- "Robin AND Patrick! God, Mac! Who DIDN'T you tell?"
At that moment, Diane walked into the restaurant holding a garment bag. She smiled at Alexis, and nearly ran over in excitement at the sight of Mac standing at the table with her best friend. Instead she calmed herself, slightly, and walked over.
- "Alexis, here is a new suit, courtesy of your bedroom closet!"
Alexis smiled and took the suit from her. Diane patted Mac on the back.
- "What's going on short-stack, lame duck."
Diane smiled and walked to the counter to place her order.
Mac reddened and stared in disbelief at Alexis.
- "And YOU were mad at ME?"
If she did not know the law… scratch that…. If there had not been so many witnesses in Kelly's, Alexis would have murdered Diane on the spot for that comment. Instead, she shrugged nonchalantly in attempt to hide her mortification.
- "Well, I'm a woman; I'm supposed to talk to my best friend!"
- "And I can certainly assume that you told Sam too, which would only mean that she and Maxie are discussing this—"
Alexis put her hand up.
- "Yes, I told my daughter; but no, she will not be discussing this with Maxie."
- "How do you know that?"
Alexis rolled her eyes.
- "Because unlike your daughter, MINE isn't a blabbermouth, and as amusing as she found the story, she's not much of a gossip. So, basically you've still got one person up on me, plus the 452 Maxie will tell by the end of the day, about this humiliating story—"
He shook his head.
- "Seriously, Lex, who do you think this is more embarrassing for? You?"
Alexis started naming on her hand what she had been called on in the past day.
- "Tumbleweeds, dusty uterus, rotten eggs, toothless old had."
- "I NEVER called you a toothless old had!"
- "You basically inferred that I was."
He thought about it for a second.
- "Fine! I'm SORRY about that. But, how about me? Short stack, lame duck?"
She mumbled.
- "Little Engine that Couldn't."
Mac shook his head.
- "God, Lex, I couldn't do what I was supposed to do. I'm thinking that's a bit more embarrassing than your abandoned and barricaded—"
Alexis rolled her eyes and interrupted him.
- "Well perhaps if you hadn't been watering your little tree with booze, it would've grown thick and strong."
Mac glared at Alexis, while Alexis did the same to Mac. Diane walked over to a staring contest between the two.
- "Hmm, is this an alternative to what you couldn't accomplish the other day? Because if it is, I can certainly leave; I wouldn't want to intrude."
They both looked at her.
- "Shut up!"
As she went to sip her coffee, Mac took the cup from her hands. He had been arguing with Alexis, that he never got his coffee; he needed to leave for the office.
- "Thank you very much."
She protested.
- "Hey! What in the world do you think you're doing?"
- "Well, according to your friend my tree needs something other than booze to grow. I'm just taking her advice."
He raised his cup to the women and walked out of the restaurant.
Diane put her hands on her hips.
- "That was disgustingly rude!"
Alexis shook her head.
- "Because that short-stack comment was incredibly well-mannered? Geez, Diane, why'd you say that?"
- "I couldn't help myself!"
Just then Sam and Jason walked in. While he lagged behind, Sam walked up to her mother.
- "Hey!"
Alexis smiled at her daughter.
- "Hi honey."
She leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek.
- "You can tell Jason that I won't hurt him; he doesn't have to stay at the door."
Sam laughed and turned around to see Jason standing at the door; someone walked in and accidentally hit him with the door. He stared icily at the person, who shook a bit, knowing full well that he had hit Jason Morgan, mob enforcer, with the door.
- "I'm sorry."
He simply nodded at the patron who quickly made his way to the counter.
Alexis shook his head.
- "That's amazing, you know. He puts the fear of God in some of this people, but he won't even come over here and say hello to me."
- "Mom, you threatened to hurt him—"
- "If he hurt you, honey! I threatened to hurt him, if he hurts you! Unlike your boyfriend, I don't make it my busy to kill people."
Diane put her fingers in her ears.
- "I didn't hear that."
Sam crossed her arms in defiance.
- "Mom—"
Diane piped in.
- "Well, you have to admit Lex, that if it weren't for the Jason's and Sonny's, you wouldn't be holding that FANTASTIC power suit in your hands."
Alexis rolled her eyes at her best friend.
- "Don't you have to bail Sonny out of some prison or something Diane?"
She grabbed her purse, and new cup of coffee.
- "Fine, Alexis! But let me tell you something, if you don't go after Mac soon, you're a fool. He was undressing you with his eyes, just now! It's obvious that that man wants to frisk the hell out of you—"
Sam smiled.
- "Oooh, did I miss something exciting? Has he threatened to give you a cavity search, Mom?"
Alexis took Sam's face in both of her hands; she stared her daughter directly in the eyes.
- "You need help."
She looked over to Diane.
- "And so do you. You two aren't normal! Maybe you should go to church or something; a fresh cup of holy water thrown on you might be of some use."
Sam laughed.
- "When exactly did you last go to church, Mom?"
Diane interjected.
- "I like their wine. It's a bit sweet, but nonetheless, not bad stuff. It's a good start to the day."
Sam and Alexis stared at the woman. Alexis spoke up.
- "Diane, if you didn't have a spot reserved for yourself in hell before, you definitely got upgraded to first class and the presidential suite for that comment. You go to church for the wine?"
The woman pursed her lips.
- "Don't judge ME! At least I go!"
Sam took a step to the side.
- "I don't want to stand to closely to you, Diane; there's a good chance that lightening will strike you down for that."
Diane made a face.
Alexis stared at her friend for a second before continuing her original thought.
- "You two are too invested in my sex life."
Sam frowned.
- "In your what, now?"
- "In my sex life."
Diane scoffed.
- "Are you kidding, Lex? Your supposed sex life is in such dire straits right now it needs a government bailout!"
Alexis threw her hands up in the air.
- "So, what? Your solution is that I just throw myself onto Mac?"
Diane shook her head.
- "Well, no. Not unless he prefers the top, in which case he throws himself onto you."
Sam nodded her head in agreement.
- "That's my kind of stimulus package."
Alexis grabbed her garment bag and headed to the bathroom.
- "You two need help."