Chapter 10

By the time she finished recounting the night's events, she was in tears, unable to stop herself anymore. She sobbed into Sherlock's lap and he held her as if she was made of glass, ready to fall to pieces at any moment. Perhaps she could have.

Before Erika could fully recover, John entered to change her bandages and Sherlock stood against the wall, watching her closely. She winced and cursed as he ripped off old bandages and pour antiseptic into the wounds, all the while muttering he was sorry; she didn't seem to hear him at all.

This routine continued for days, with Erika never leaving her bed save to go to the bathroom. Sherlock could see how much pain she was in, of every sort, but he had no idea what to do. He considered asking John but thought that might indicate weakness which was something he never liked to show. Because of this, he resolved to standing against the wall, silently watching over her all the time.

A week after she had come to them, Sherlock walked in holding a dress on a hanger. It was black with long sleeves and a high neckline, clearly to cover her scars. On seeing it, Erika looked up at him, noticing how Sherlock was also dressed in black. At that moment she understood what they were doing. She started sobbing and Sherlock sat down beside her on the bed.

"I can't do it," she choked through her tears. "I can't."

He was about to protest when John came to the doorway, also dressed in black, and shook his head. On seeing this, Sherlock instead stood, nodding softly to himself. He then hung the dress on the back of the door and, before leaving, said, "You know where we are if you change your mind."

She nodded and he left. John watched his friend walk into the living room with his head hung low. He turned and spoke. "How could she know where we're going?"

Sherlock allowed himself a small, half smile and laugh. "She knows where I was buried and where she was. She'll know where to find him now."

The funeral was small with only three attendants; Sherlock, John and Mrs Hudson. The trio watched as the child's body was buried, none of them speaking or looking up from the patch of earth where Sherlock's son lay. When it ended, they all made their way back to Baker Street. Mrs Hudson went back to her flat while the two men went upstairs. They were about to enter when they heard scuffling and movement from inside. Fearing the worst, they hastily opened the door.

Inside the flat, Erika stood frozen, a small piece of paper grasped in her hands. She was dressed and looking decent with all her wounds bandaged. She looked up at the men with tears in her eyes, clearly surprised to see them. Sherlock looked around the flat and then at her, picking up on her motives. "Why?"

Erika's eyes fell to the floor and a tear slid down her cheek. She crumpled the paper in her hand, committing herself to speaking in person. "You don't need me anymore. You have John."

John looked at her, confused and guilty but Sherlock's gaze stayed stony as before as she continued. "You and me…if there ever was a you and me…I was only there because it was convenient, for both of us. And I don't regret it, it's just…"

She stopped, looking down at the floor before taking a deep breath and finishing. "Sherlock, all I've done since we met is hurt you. You don't deserve that. I'm sorry."

As she finished, John looked to Sherlock, expecting him to protest. Expecting him to tell her she was being an idiot and she didn't have to leave. John was waiting for a response but there was none. Instead Sherlock's eyes saddened and he nodded, ever so slightly; clearly not a signal of confirmation, merely that of acceptance. Erika let another tear fall down her cheek and she walked towards the door slowly, clearly both in hesitation and pain.

John made to glare at Sherlock as she began the descent down the stairs but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Sherlock was staring at the ground, unmoving and depressed. He was about to lay a hand on his shoulder when he watched two words form on his best friend's lips.

"Don't go."

Erika stopped in her tracks and turned, looking up to see Sherlock staring at the ground. He looked up at her, his eyes moist. He walked down to her, so he stood on the step below her. "Please, don't go."

"You don't need me," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Sherlock shook his head and grabbed her hand, he pulled her slowly back up the stairs and she followed obediently. When they were again at the top of the stairs, Sherlock pulled her hand to his lips. She watched him closely, unsure what to do. Still bent, he looked up at her through his eyelashes.

"I lost you once. Don't make me lose you again." At this Erika let a sob pass her lips and he hugged her to his chest. She cried softly into his shirt and he awkwardly held her, patting her hair. She whispered "I'm sorry" over and over again as she emptied out her emotion. John watched the pair silently, unsure what her should do. Eventually he settled for slowly leaving the room and returning to his.

A few minutes passed before Erika sobs finally subsided and she looked up at Sherlock through tear-stained eyes. Without thinking, he leant down and gently pressed his lips to hers. This was their first sign of intimacy since her arrival and she clung onto it, wrapping her arm around his neck. They remained like that for a while, neither wanting to let the other go or push the other into intimacy they weren't ready for but finally, they did pull apart.

She allowed a small smile to cross her lips, enough to show how happy she was through her sorrow. Sherlock leant forward and kissed her forehead softly, wanting to show her it was alright. He pulled her into a hug and they stayed there, content. Then for the first time since Erika appeared, she spoke about William.

"He was so beautiful." The words were whispered into his chest so softly that Sherlock almost didn't hear them. When he did, he smiled sadly, and pulled her in closer.

"He was perfect."

Neither knew how long they stayed there, but neither wanted to move. Together they finally shared their sadness and both knew that, in this, they would find their strength.