Author's Note: Hey guys! So, the climax is here. I thought it would be hard to write, but it wasn't so much. I think the hardest parts will be what's to come after this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy this. Take care and thank you for the wonderful response this story has gotten.
Chapter 11
"Tonight's the last, so say goodbye"—30 Seconds to Mars.
Tohru wasn't in a room.
Yuki had practically dragged Machi behind him he'd moved so fast to the hospital's information desk only to find out that though Tohru had been assigned room 624 in the hospice wing, she'd never been inside it. She and Kyo were in the hospital's atrium, a garden sealed inside glass on the first floor.
Of course they would be there. Tohru didn't want to die in a hospital, and if she had to Kyo would take her to a place that seemed the least like one. Yuki listened to the slender woman behind the information desk as she gave him directions, nodding and hoping he'd remember all the turns she was telling him to take. Information seemed to slide off his brain; he couldn't concentrate on anything but Tohru and the last time he'd touched her and spoken to her.
He'd made her so angry only one day before. She'd hung her head in shame near him mere hours ago. His heart ached.
"Yuki? Are you all right? Do you need to sit down for a minute?" Machi's arms were around him.
Yuki rested his chin atop her head a moment and just let her hold him. "I don't need to sit down."
Machi pulled back and stared up at him, her soft hazel eyes boring into his. "Okay."
She took his hand and began to lead him through long corridors that dipped and wound around wards full of sick people. Nurses and doctors in colorful scrubs bustled about pushing carts and gurneys and patients and carrying trays of liquid and food. There were muted beeps and scratchy voices, moans and coughs and weak laughter. The smell of antiseptic and citrus made him want to vomit, and the halogen lights overhead made his head swim. He didn't want to be there. Tohru didn't want to be there.
The only thing that kept him moving was the firm hand clasped over his and the insistent tug as the body attached to that hand pulled him forward. White walls and blue scrubs began to blur together until he was at a pair of double glass doors labeled atrium.
"Excuse me."
Yuki started and slammed into Machi who had stopped abruptly. A male nurse stood by the doors, dabbing at his eyes with a pale blue tissue.
"We're asking that no one enter the atrium right now. We have a special patient… Mr. Yuki!" The nurse's eyes widened and he stepped forward to bow. "I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you right away."
Yuki blinked and the nurse's face became familiar. "Ichiru."
Nurse Ichiru nodded and dabbed at his eyes again.
"You never came over for dinner," Yuki said softly.
The man gave a sigh and covered his eyes with one hand. "I'm sorry. I've already apologized to Miss Tohru and… I just… we all thought there'd be more time." He shook his head. "The world's going to lose its sweetest person today."
Yuki shook his head. "There's no mistake then?"
Nurse Ichiru gazed at Yuki sadly. "I was there when Dr. Karizawa did the last tests… and Miss Tohru says it's time. They always know, the patients I mean, and they get this look about them."
Like Hatori had said. All he'd had to do was look at her.
"I'm sorry." Nurse Ichiru wiped at his eyes again. "I've been a nurse for a long time. You'd think that I'd be used to patients dying, but there's always gonna be a few that just grab your heart and hold on." He cleared his throat and bowed to Yuki and then Machi again. "You go on in. She's waiting for you."
"Waiting for me?" Yuki croaked.
"She wants to talk to you," Ichiru said. "They—patients—they try to hold on to say goodbye. Sometimes you just make it, and sometimes you don't. You made it, Mr. Yuki. Go on."
Oh gods! Yuki swallowed hard against his gag reflex. Ayame had called him at 5:45… that might have been when they were taking Tohru to the hospital, but did that also mean that Tohru had held on for hours because Yuki hadn't answered his phone? Because Yuki just had to go out and have fun and forget about being miserable for a night?
How selfish was he?
Yuki let go of Machi's hand and burst through the double doors. "Tohru!"
The atrium had a stone path lined with short bamboo hedges and small rock gardens. The grass was a bright green uncharacteristic of the season, but the atmosphere of the garden was warm, keeping the garden in a perpetual summertime state. There were flowering trees and budding flower beds complete with tiny birds that chirped softly and flitted to and fro. A small red foot bridge took Yuki over a man-made pond with colorful koi under its surface. Soft music played: harps, three-stringed lutes and bamboo flutes. He heard Machi's footsteps following him.
"Tohru!"
"Yuki." Ayame met him at the foot of the bridge, his golden eyes bright and his white hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. No fuss or frills had been put into his appearance. He wore a large t-shirt and jeans that looked like they'd come from Kyo's closet. Ayame hugged Yuki, his thin frame quivering. "Come on. She's waiting for you."
The urge to vomit was back. He'd kept her waiting.
Yuki let Ayame guide him, with his hand on the small of his back, to a ginkgo tree where two figures sat. Well, one sat with the other lounging in its arms.
Kyo and Tohru: Kyo had his back against the tree, Tohru rested against his chest. Tohru's legs were covered with an afghan taken off the back of one of the living room couches. Her head was bare; her short brown hair was free about her face and hung past her ears. She was pale, but her skin seemed to glow. There was a certain peacefulness about her expression that calmed Yuki's pounding heart, that is, until he looked at Kyo. His redhead cousin's skin had a slight green tinge to it, as if he'd been or was about to be horribly sick and his eyes were hollow, sunken holes in his face. He stroked Tohru's hands through the quilt and bowed his head into her hair.
"Yuki," Tohru said. She smiled. "You're here. Good." Her voice was soft and Yuki had to come close and kneel in front of her to hear her properly. She struggled to free her hands from the afghan, and once Kyo realized what she was doing, he straightened and reached to roll down the light blanket.
Tohru's hands reached for Yuki's and he took them both in his. They were so small and cold. He chaffed them and brought them to his lips to kiss and blow warmth on. "I'm sorry, Tohru. I wouldn't have left at all, if…."
"It's all right." Tohru looked beyond Yuki and smiled. "She's so lucky to have you."
Yuki gave a light laugh. "I think it's the other way around."
Tohru giggled. "Don't sell yourself short. You're a good catch, Yuki-kun. I wanted to see you get married. You have a big wedding, okay? Let Ayame-san help you."
Yuki nodded, clutching her hands.
"I want you to be so happy, Yuki. Never let anyone make you feel like you're not good enough ever again. You don't have to be perfect, because you're perfect how you are." Tohru squeezed his hands. "You're still Prince Yuki."
And you're still like the mother I always wanted.
"Hug me?" Tohru asked.
Yuki gasped and moved closer to wrap Tohru in his arms. He felt Kyo boosting Tohru a bit so that she could lean forward. Yuki rocked her and kissed her cheeks and forehead. "I love you, Tohru."
"I love you, too, Yuki," Tohru said. She kissed his lips gently.
"If I never said thank you, thank you. You—you changed my life the moment you came into it. You know that, right? You helped me grow up and become who I am. You made me open my eyes. Without you, I don't know where or who I'd be. You helped my entire family. You're an angel."
Tohru simply continued to smile. "I left something for you. It's under my bed in a box. There's something for everybody. When you know you're dying, you have time to figure out what you want to say, you just… don't know if you're going to be able to say it all."
"You can tell me anything right now," Yuki said urgently. "Talk to me all day and all night, I'll listen."
Tohru chuckled and cleared her throat. "I can't do that, Yuki."
"Yes you can," Yuki said. "You—you waited for me, for hours. You can wait some more to tell me what you need to tell me."
Tohru shook her head. "I don't think I can, Yuki."
"Why not?"
"I feel like it's time to go. I'm late for something important. I just—I keep feeling lighter and lighter, and everything is brighter, prettier; softer." Tohru said in a whisper. "I don't hurt anymore and I'm not so sad."
Yuki buried his face in her hair and cried. "Oh Tohru…."
Tiny hands stroked his hair and then his cheek. "It's okay, Yuki. You'll be just fine. Machi will take care of you now, and you'll take care of Ayame, and my Kyo. Yuki, you will take care of my Kyo like you said?"
Yuki nodded into her hair. "Yes."
"He needs you," Tohru said. "He's going to need you so much, because… I can't help him not be sad. I thought I could, but I can't. Yuki, don't let him keep the house. He can't. I see that now. But I want him to keep his dojo and our bakery. We both worked too hard for them."
Yuki nodded through his tears. Tohru spoke in his ear, but she was getting so hard to hear. Her voice was growing quieter and her breathing was becoming softer, fainter. Was she dying right now, with his head in her hair?
Yuki sat back and watched as Tohru rested again against Kyo's chest. Kyo peered down at her, his fiery hair hiding his expression. Tohru tilted her head back, meeting his lips for kisses. Kyo's arms closed around she fingered his long hair. "Don't cut it, Kyo-chan. I like it when it falls in your eyes and touches her neck. You look so gorgeous."
She kissed Kyo's eyelids and the tip of his nose. "Your face tastes salty. So many tears. Please don't cry forever, Baby. You're going to be okay. You're going to do so many good things. And you'll find someone else to love you like you deserve to be loved, and you'll have children. And they'll all have red hair."
Kyo moaned and started shaking his head violently.
"Yes, yes, Baby. I left you something, too, and you promised you'd do what I want so I know you'll try," Tohru said. "N—now," her voice quavered and a tear rolled down her cheek. "I think it's now, Kyo. It's now."
Kyo whimpered. "O—okay."
"I want to hear our song."
Kyo's breath hitched; then hitched again. He tried to sing; he stared and stopped.
"Baby?" Tohru touched his face and Kyo shifted her, sitting up and turning her in his lap so that they were face to face. They stared at each other for a long moment, before Kyo shifted again, letting Tohru wrap her legs around his waist and turn her cheek to rest on his collarbone. He rocked her slow and after a beat began to sing.
Oh - thinking about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Now nothing can take you away from me
We been down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me coming back for more
'Cause baby you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
Oh - once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feeling down
Now, nothing could change what you mean to me
There's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
And our love will light the way
'Cause baby you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
I've been waiting for so long
For something to arrive
For love to come along
Now our dreams are coming true
Through the good times and the bad
I'll be standing there by you
Baby you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
Yuki sat back on his knees, watching as Kyo's last note died. Tohru's hand that had been on Kyo's cheek began to fall. Kyo caught it, holding it, looking at her as she smiled up at him. Her lips moved. Yuki made out, "Goodbye Kitten."
Then she sighed; she sighed and her light went out. Her body seemed to deflate; her eyes slid partially closed, and Kyo screamed. He wailed and crushed her to his body, shaking her. "Tohru… Tohru… not yet, okay? Not yet. Not yet. Please, Baby, not yet. Wake up, okay? Okay? No, no… not yet. Oh gods, not yet. Please. I need you! I can't do this by myself. Please…."
Yuki hand went over his mouth; he could barely see Tohru and Kyo through his tears. Everything was blurry. He saw two large shapes coming to kneel on either side of where Kyo and Tohru were. Kyo howled. "No! No! Leave me alone! Leave us alone!"
"Shh…shh… Kyo, Kyo, let go. Kyo, let go. Come here; come here…. Kyo, please…."
Yuki felt arms around his waist and Machi's warmth against his back. He fell back into her, sobbing. "She's dead, Machi."
"I know, Sweetie, and I'm so very sorry."
Author's Note: Well, what's the verdict? Like it? Hate it? Don't care either way? Anyway you liked it, let me know. Please review!
30 Seconds to Mars. "Modern Myth." A Beautiful Lie. Immortal, 2005. CD.
Adams, Bryan. "Heaven." Reckless. A&M, 1990. CD.