A/N: Next few chapters are most likely going to be entirely Quinn POV. Quite frankly, I think it will build 'suspense' and keep the story interesting that we won't get if I go with Rachel. Short chapter but I guess it's only a filler so whatever.
Oh, and I should probably tell you that when I am no longer sick and I return to real life, updates are going to be really slow because of all of the work I'm going to have to do. Sorry, but that's the way it goes I'm afraid. So, unless I get another chapter up today it won't be up until at least Wednesday but probably longer.
Read and Review and thanks to the people who do, you guys are my inspiration.
Quinn's POV
-/-
Quinn was crying awake in her bed, and it was 2 in the morning. She was no longer sobbing but that was only because it was causing her too much physical pain for her to bear. She deserved it though; she had just lost the best person she had ever had in her life because she couldn't control herself. As the tears fell silently onto her pillow she heard her phone buzz with a new text.
She steeled herself for some insults or pleads of still being friends from Rachel but was surprised to see it was from Santana. Quinn opened up the message. Berry is home safe. She put up a massive fight about leaving but I dragged her. I think she might be drunk enough to forget what happened.
Quinn quickly texted back, Thanks S, before she broke into tears again as hard as ever. Quinn figured it would be a miracle if she got any sleep that night, but she didn't deserve sleep. She had been selfish and probably hurt Rachel.
It was 4 by the time Quinn fell asleep, tears still falling from her eyes, and it was the worst Quinn had slept in her life. Images of Rachel looking angry and insulting her saying things like 'Get away from me you disgusting homo'. Then the image would change to Rachel looking sad and betrayed where she would say things such as 'I thought I was getting a friend, not someone who was trying to get into my pants'. In Quinn's eyes both were possible and it was more than likely she would get both and then the brunette would just ignore her.
Quinn heard her phone buzz with another text. This time the text was from Rachel. Quinn took a look at the text, already starting her sobbing tears again. Quinn we need to talk about last night. Quinn sobbed harder. So that was it, Rachel remembered what had happened and now their friendship would be over. Quinn heard a knock on the door.
"Quinn, honey. I know you don't want to talk about last night but I ran you a bath. Just sit in there for a while okay?" Judy said in a soft voice. Quinn stopped sobbing again, but only because she was biting her lip to stop from letting them out. She had to give it to her mother on this one. She was doing most things right in Quinn's books.
Quinn pushed herself off her face, which was extremely hard because she was really dehydrated from all of her crying and her muscles hurt like hell. She trudged past her mum who gave her a very worried expression, and walked into the bathroom. When she got into the bath her muscles felt a lot better, but she continued her crying. She wondered whether or not it was possible to cry out all of the water in her body, because she could tell she was going to go very close.
After an hour, Quinn decided she had been in the bath long enough. She still felt terrible but she just couldn't cry anymore. She got dressed in some sweats but just lay down on her bed again, thinking about how perfect Rachel was and how terrible she was herself.
By the time it was 2 in the afternoon, Quinn had still made no movements of trying to get out of bed. Her phone had gone off repeatedly but she just left it; she couldn't take seeing Rachel's name. Eventually her mother knocked on the door after realising that Quinn had locked it and when she was sure Quinn wasn't going to open it, she spoke.
"I made you some food Quinn. Please eat it. I'll just leave it outside for you." Quinn heard a plate softly tap the ground and then the sound of retreating footsteps. She didn't know that her mother knew her so well. How did her mum know she was just going to leave the food outside? Quinn knew that she deserved to be hungry for what she had done. But after hearing her mother's pleading voice she got up and got the food anyway.
The same thing happened at 8. By 8:30 Quinn heard the sound of a car pulling up and then the front door open and close. She didn't know if her mother was expecting any visitors but she didn't really care. As long as they left her alone it wouldn't matter.
Quinn heard some footsteps coming up the stairs. She turned her brain on a bit to realise it was only one person, probably her mum. She turned her brain off again. Whenever she thought for too long her thoughts turned to Rachel and it always made her cry. The footsteps stopped outside of her bedroom, and then there was a pounding on the door.
"Get your ass up Fabray." It was Santana. At least Quinn still had her. But then Quinn thought of whom she was losing and the tears started again.
"Don't make me break down this door." Santana threatened. Quinn found her voice. It was croaky and defeated.
"Please Santana. Just... Just leave me alone." She stammered between sobs. It was incredibly painful physically to talk right now.
"You haven't been crying all day?" Santana actually sounded taken aback.
"She remembered S. She's going to hate me now."Quinn wailed.
"So please, just leave me alone." Quinn pleaded.
"Why? Did she say she hates you?" Santana asked.
"Probably. I just haven't looked at her texts yet. But I looked at the first one. She said she wanted to talk. She will either be sad and reject me or be angry and reject me."
"How do you know she doesn't still want to be friends?" Santana questioned.
"I kissed her S. She's straight. That isn't something you do to a straight girl and then be friends after." Quinn started crying as hard as she was last night but now it was incredibly painful for her throat and chest.
"Just leave me alone S."Quinn pleaded again.
"Fine. As long as you come to school on Monday."Santana said softly. Santana was defeated. She knew Quinn had fucked up and there wasn't much else that could be done.
"Okay." Quinn choked out. She heard Santana walk away and then later the front door open and close. The little Santana voice in her head spoke to her again. Fabray's don't do this. Fabray's are strong. But Fabray's don't mess up their lives like this either, Quinn argued. Quinn couldn't cry any more, but that night she dry sobbed herself to sleep.
-/-
Sunday went much the same as Saturday, with a lot less crying. Crying was doing too much physical pain to Quinn's body and she realised she couldn't cope with it. Quinn took a risk to look at her texts, just to see who they were from. 5 from Santana, 3 from Brittany, one or two from different glee club members (most questioning why Santana had told them she was sad) and 10 from Rachel.
On Monday, Quinn woke up early. She knew she looked terrible and it would take more time to get herself looking almost respectable so Sunday night she set her alarm clock for 20 minutes earlier than usual. It ended up being a good call, but not good enough. Her hair was more knotted than ever before, her eyes had bags under them and was blood shot and she was even more pale than usual. Long story short, it would've taken her longer than 20 minutes to look respectable. So she did what she could before she had to leave for school.
When she arrived at school she found Santana waiting by her locker. Santana looked at her up and down before she said a word.
"Berry did this to you?"Santana asked.
"No. I did it to me. She was always going to react the way she did and I shouldn't have kissed her in the first place." Quinn could tell that Santana was getting worked up. Quinn angrily put her bag in her locker and pulled out the books she needed for class. Santana was not going to make this Rachel's fault.
The bell went and Quinn said goodbye to Santana. She began to walk to class. She turned a corner and bumped into someone. She bounced back and both people held onto their books. Quinn looked to see who it was.
"Quinn..."It was Rachel. She was looked Quinn up and down just as Santana had done, but unlike Santana, as she was doing it tears were welling up in her eyes. One thought made its way to Quinn's brain. RUN!
Quinn sidestepped Rachel and began to sprint to her class. She was finding it hard to see from the tears coming to her own eyes but didn't care. She heard the call of "Quinn wait!" from Rachel, but she couldn't. She just couldn't. When she stepped into class she was one of the first there. She took a seat at the back, raised a book to her face and tried to compose herself. She didn't do a good job but kept the book to her face, she wasn't going to let anyone see her tears.