Author's Note: Okay, so I am back, and the last chapter, this chapter and the one to follow are hard, but interesting to write. I hope you guys like this one. I want to thank everyone for the awesome response the last chapter got. I think this story might have about 4 chapters left. We'll see. I've been known to say 4 chapters, and to end up with 8, but I'm really thinking 4.

Chapter 12

"I can't do this thing called life without you here with me"—Destiny's Child.

Yuki was slow to get out of bed on the morning of the wake. He rose in Kyo and Tohru's guest bedroom, alone. The covers on Machi's side of the bed had been tossed back, sheets left tangled. There was a folded sheet of notebook paper on her pillow. Yuki unfolded it:

Gone with Ayame to get Mine from the station. I love you.

Yuki smiled gently and almost cringed. It wasn't right to smile today. He brought a hand to his face and used the pad of his thumb and pinky to smooth the corners of his mouth down. His skin felt rough. Hatori said he was dehydrated and Yuki didn't doubt him; he'd cried so much over the past few days that his tear ducts had dried up. He didn't know if he could produce new tears if he wanted to.

He'd cried for himself and Kyo, it seemed, because after Tohru died and Kyo had picked himself off the floor of the hospital atrium, he hadn't shed a tear. He hadn't shed anything…but his humanity. With empty eyes and an empty expression, Kyo was a machine that supervised the moving of the furniture and the decorating of the house for the wake, and had spent the previous night in the bakery, preparing multi-flavored rice balls to put into yellow bags Tohru had decorated herself to give to guests of the wake as gifts. He also made rice balls to put in her casket as burnable items.

Yuki slipped on his robe and slippers and padded out into the hall, listening to the commotion of Hatori in the kitchen fixing breakfast. Kyo hadn't served any food since the hospital. He'd walk straight through the kitchen without looking at anything, as if the room was just another hallway to the living room. The smell of perking coffee and eggs on an iron skillet was comforting and painful at the same time. Yuki pictured Tohru standing at the stove in her fluffy yellow apron with a spatula and a big smile, "Good morning, Yuki-kun," she'd say.

He craved her sunshine and Hatori's bland eggs and store bought coffee would not bring that back. He passed through the living room. The furniture had all been covered and moved into the garage to make room for multiple guests to kneel. Paper cranes, and yellow flowers were set on end tables, and on the mantle sat a portrait of Tohru and Kyo together on a beach swing. Ayame had tried to get Kyo to enlarge a picture of Tohru by herself, but Kyo insisted Tohru wanted that one. Under the mantel, in front of the fireplace, was the altar Tohru had put together for herself and had hidden in the closet of the master bedroom for weeks. In front of the altar sat a table long and study enough for a casket to be placed atop. In a few hours, a cold, wooden box would arrive with Tohru inside.

Yuki practically ran into the kitchen. Hatori was sliding fried eggs onto plates already heavy with steamed rice. "Hello Yuki. Did you sleep well?"

Yuki nodded, though his yawn betrayed him. He felt like he could sleep for days and still wake up tired. "Is Kyo…?"

"Still at the bakery?" Hatori asked with a sigh. "Yes, but he and a few of his students will be here shortly with the food. He called to say that some regular customers stopped in to offer condolences and gifts, so he's a bit behind schedule."

"Do you think he slept at all?" Yuki asked.

Hatori raised a brow. "No." He pushed a plate of food toward Yuki. "Ayame and Mine-san are going to drop Machi off here and go to the funeral parlor with the kimono Mine finished for Tohru."

Yuki nodded. Tohru had let Ayame design her last kimono, and he'd sent the sketches home to Mine only two weeks ago. Mine had slaved until late last night to finish the garment in time. Yuki had a special hug for the woman when he saw her. He didn't want to imagine how Kyo might react if something went wrong today.

"Eat, Yuki," Hatori said. "I want to make sure at least one of you doesn't pass out today."

Yuki stood at the counter with Hatori, poking at over-done eggs and rice and sipping generic coffee. Tohru always made fresh coffee; she'd grinded her own beans and created unique blends. Kyo could make a mean pot of coffee too, but there was magic in Tohru's brews. Tohru hadn't made things in bulk, so Yuki wasn't sure if any of Tohru's handmade blends were left. His eyes burned, but he didn't bother to blink. He couldn't make tears anymore.

A car crawled into the driveway, stopping in front of the garage. Several car doors slammed and there was the pop of a trunk opening. Hatori pulled the blinds, letting stripes of natural light into the room. Yuki hated that it was so sunny out when he felt so gloomy. It was like the day was mocking him.

Kyo's car was in the drive, and Ryu, Sayu, and Kai were helping Kyo manhandle boxes onto the concrete before hefting them toward the backdoor. Yuki abandoned his breakfast and went to open the door for them. The group trooped in, calling out, "Good morning," and bowing as much as their loads allowed.

Kyo brought up the rear. He held a green box filled with colorful envelopes; the smallest box of the lot. Hatori directed Kai, Ryu and Sayu to the kitchen table, helping them unload their burdens. Yuki took the green box from Kyo and waited for his cousin to shut the door before moving to the table himself. He frowned down at the envelopes made out to the Sohma Family.

"Are these from customers?" Yuki asked.

Kyo nodded. "They just kept coming. I found some just lying in front of the Rice Ball's door." He ran a hand through greasy hair and shut his eyes. Kyo was so pale Yuki could count the blue veins in temples. He reached out to touch Kyo's shoulder, but the Ex-Cat was suddenly in motion. Going to the other boxes and separating them in accordance to flavor of rice ball. Sayu helped him pull out each individual bag, and Yuki noticed that each flavor had a corresponding foil paper wrapper lining its bag. The plum flavored rice balls had purple tinted foil, peach had orange, strawberry had pink, apple had green.

"Do any have meat?" Hatori asked.

Kyo shook his head. "All fruit. They still should be kept cold until it's time to give them out. The trays are in the fridge guys. Bring them over and we'll put the bags on them."

Ryu, Kai and Sayu nodded. "Yes, sir," and made their way to the fridge, getting out the heavy silver serving trays Tohru had kept in the china cabinet. There were four, one for each flavor. Fifteen bags went onto each tray. Sayu hummed as she arranged the bags and pulled white tinsel and origami cats, rabbits, mice, dogs, and chickens out of one box to decorate the trays with.

One box sat by itself. Kyo stared at it for a long moment, before muttering, "I'm gonna take a shower."

He strode away, his movements jerky. Yuki looked to the box and moved to open it. He choked back an amused gasp. Twenty rice balls in the shape of kittens, dyed orange with food coloring, smiled up at him with black jelly mouths and eyes.

"Those are for Miss Tohru," Ryu said. "She uh… she really liked cats. I don't know why they don't have one, a cat, I mean." He cleared his throat and looked uncomfortable. His eyes were pink and every now and again he pulled a wad of tissue from his pockets.

They've always had a cat.

"Sensei's picky enough to be a cat himself. D'you really think Miss Tohru would have wanted two cranky beasts lying around her house?" Sayu said with a forced laugh.

Kai gave a half-hearted chuckle, but Ryu sniffled.

"Geez, Ryu. Better not let Sensei see you crying. We're all supposed to smile for him, like Miss Tohru would," Kai said, squeezing Ryu's neck.

"Yeah, yeah I know." Ryu dabbed at his eyes and stuffed his soggy tissue back in his pocket. Sayu finished lining the trays and started putting them back in the fridge.

"Kai, I think we should put Sensei's box in the freezer," Sayu said.

The broad shouldered Kai gathered the box of cat-shaped rice balls, but looked at Yuki as he did so. "Mr. Yuki, are you going to live here with Sensei now?"

"Kai!" Sayu's head snapped away from the fridge.

Yuki blinked. "Ah…." No, Yuki had to go back to Tokyo, back to his job and his apartment, and Machi—away from sadness and a place without Tohru. "No. I—I work in Tokyo, but…." Who would Kyo live with, himself? "Maybe, Kyo might want to come with me."

He blinked again. Kyo come with him? He hadn't thought about that. A fresh start in Tokyo nearer to family could be good for Kyo. It was better than staying in Maizuru where his only family was…was dead, and where everything would remind him of her not being with him.

"We haven't really discussed it." They hadn't discussed anything at all, other than making sure Kyo didn't remain in this house and that he kept his dojo and Tohru's bakery.

"I think Kyo staying with you for a while could be a good idea," Hatori said. "It'll allow him some distance. Hard choices are a little easier to make when you can put some space between you and everything else." He finished his cup of coffee and poured himself another before seeming to remember his manners. "Please forgive me, have you all had breakfast, or would you like some coffee?"

Plates of eggs and rice grew cold on the counter. Ryu shook his head and Sayu said, "No thank you."

Kai stuffed Kyo's box into the freezer and snatched up the nearest plate of food. "Thanks for the food!"

Yuki sat at the table, watching Kai bolt his food at expert speed and thinking about what Hatori said. Kyo had huge choices to make: where would he live, would the house go on the market or stay on as Sohma real estate, would he… move on, marry again and have kids, like Tohru wanted him to.

The doorbell rang and Yuki started and looked at the duck-shaped wall clock: 8:30 AM. Shigure and Akito said they would arrive at 9, and Rin and Hatsuharu were riding the train with Kagura to be there by 10:15. Ritsu and his mother had come in last night and were staying at a hotel nearby. Kureno and Arisa were also already in town, staying in a hotel. Yuki didn't want Arisa around Kyo just yet; he was afraid Kyo might throw her out. Hanajima and Gavin's plane would be landing around the same time Momiji's would, at 11:08 and they were going to take the train and then a taxi to the house.

So, who was at the door? Yuki wasn't about to go check in his bathrobe and slippers. He took his coffee and crept out of the kitchen as Hatori went to answer the door. He heard Kisa's high voice along with Hiro's lower tones. Kisa and Hiro weren't supposed to come until the funeral. Kisa claimed she couldn't look at Tohru's body and didn't want to come to the wake.

Yuki sighed and brought his coffee into the living room to greet his cousins at the front door. "Good morning, Kisa, Hiro."

They stood on the welcome mat removing their shoes, Hiro a full head taller than Kisa but still a head shorter than Hatori. Kisa wore a black pleated dress and Hiro wore a white suit shirt with black slacks and a tie.

"H—hi, Yuki," Kisa said, ducking her head shyly. Hiro nodded to Yuki and held out a hand in a Western fashion for Yuki to shake. His grip was stronger now, Yuki appraised.

"How are you this morning?" Yuki asked.

Hiro fidgeted with his tie. "Fine. The drive was longer than it was last time, I think, but the traffic was bad coming in. I could do with some water."

"Oh." Yuki pointed to the kitchen. 'Help yourself. Some of Kyo's karate students are in there. Be nice to them."

Hiro rolled his eyes and brushed by Yuki to head for the kitchen. All grown up and still a brat. Hatori was speaking to Kisa, who kept her head bowed.

"Tohru would be very happy to know that you were here today," Hatori said and Kisa sniffed, tears spilling down her face and making her mascara run. Hatori offered her his handkerchief and waved it away when she offered it back. The white fabric was stained with make-up.

"I almost told Hiro to turn around and go home twice on the way here," Kisa said. "But… but I kept hearing her voice in my head saying everyone has to be here for Kyo. She didn't want him to be alone. I knew he wouldn't be alone today, but… but I felt so wrong, and so here we are."

"And we're all glad to see you," Yuki said, coming forward to give her a light hug. She returned it awkwardly and tried to smile at him.

"Where's Kyo?" She lowered her voice.

"Taking a shower," Yuki said. "He'll probably be back out in 20 minutes."

"Is he…?"

"He's… been keeping himself very busy," Yuki said. "Uh." He looked down at his robe and back at Kisa and then Hatori. "I'm going to take a shower and get dressed, too. Did you need any help with anything before I go, Hatori?"

Hatori shook his head and Yuki sighed. Good. He didn't want to help. He wanted to drown himself in the shower. He didn't want to greet crying relatives and give out more awkward hugs. He padded back to his guest room and shut the door. The wake was at 2:00, the body would be there at 1:00, and Yuki wanted to be there when it was over.

He opened the closet, glaring at the black suit Ayame had bought from him, hanging on a wooden hanger. Machi's black dress hung next to it. He thought about ripping the clothes down and stomping on them, tearing them to shreds so they wouldn't have anything to wear. Oops, guess we can't come out of our room; no clothes.

He didn't know how long he stood in the closet doorway, but time passed. The door to the guest room opened and closed. "Yuki?"

Machi was back. Yuki sighed and rested his head on the doorframe. "Yes?"

Her soft hands stroked his cheek. "Do you want to take a bath with me?"

Oh Gods. "Yes."

Please make me think about something else.

(~*~)

The casket lay on the long table, the lid closed and everyone found reasons not to be in the room for longer than it took to walk through it. Yuki loosened his neck tie for the hundredth time. He was outside, drinking peach, strawberry lemonade with Hatsuharu, Rin, Kagura and Ritsu. Shigure, Akito, Hatori and Mayu-sensei, who'd come with Shigure and Akito, sat in the lawn chairs with Ritsu's mother admiring Tohru's garden. It was still unsettling seeing Akito in dresses and make-up. It was still unsettling to be left alone in rooms with Akito, but Yuki would rather be alone with her right now, than in that house with the casket.

Hanajima had called Yuki to let him know that they would arrive at 3:00, when the wake began. He checked his watch, 2:15. The priest would show up at 2:30. Kyo was actually in the kitchen and actually wearing an apron, putting the finishing touches on more rice balls, these filled with beef, salmon, cod, bass, chicken, duck, spinach, or carrots. These rice balls were the food to be served to the guests and Kyo wanted them to be fresh and hot. A large, clear barrel with white and yellow flowers painted in a ring around the middle with a tap was filled with peach, strawberry lemonade. The liquid was a golden pink with sheer slices of lemons, strawberries and peaches floating around its center.

Momiji had opted to stay in the kitchen with Kyo. He hadn't left Kyo's side since he'd arrived, and Kyo and Momiji had never been that close. Yuki was worried Kyo might say something awful to their blond cousin of whom he'd barely recognized when he'd come through the door. The young man towered over Yuki; he had to be at least 6 feet tall and he wore his wavy blond hair shorter than Yuki had ever seen it. No stuffed animals or teddy-bear shaped backpacks spoiled the image of an adult Momiji who wore shades to cover reddened eyes. He'd hugged Yuki hard and then went in search of Kyo.

Kisa and Hiro followed by Machi stepped through the backdoor holding clear, plastic cups of lemonade. Kisa was shaking her head at something Hiro was saying. Machi sauntered up to Yuki, licking the rim of her empty cup. "My gods, Yuki. What does he put in this?"

Yuki shrugged. "I can't figure it out either, and I've watched him make it several times."

"Your brother and Mine are in the living room, setting up the incense. The kimono they made is beautiful Yuki. I almost cried when I saw it." She took his hand. "Momiji's asking Kyo a lot of questions in the kitchen, and Kyo's ignoring him. I think one or the other is about to blow up."

"Damn." He knew it. Yuki passed Machi his lemonade. "You can finish it." He let himself back into the house, stepping into the kitchen and was immersed in the smell of heaven. It had only been a few days since a real meal had been cooked here, and in that moment, it smelled like Tohru and Kyo's home again. Kyo was at the counter filling a final tray of rice balls. The kitchen was mostly clean except for the metal bowl filled with diced beef, onions and peppers. White china platters were layered with zodiac animal-shaped rice balls; they sat upon a thick, butter crème colored cloth spread over the kitchen table. The barrel of lemonade sat on a small portable table near the backdoor.

Clear, plastic cups and plates were stacked on the counter, which was also covered with a butter cream tablecloth. Kyo finished filling the last rice ball and covered the metal bowl of meat with cling wrap. The fridge was filled to the brim with covered metal bowls and gift trays. There were also two more pitchers of lemonade to refill the barrel should it be drained, which Yuki was sure it would be.

Momiji stood over the newly filled rice balls. These were shaped like rabbits. Silver studs glistened in both his ears as they caught the light. His eyes followed Kyo as he moved about the kitchen, washing his hands and putting used utensils into the dishwasher.

"How's everything going guys? Need any help Kyo?" Yuki asked.

"Taste one of the rabbits, and stop drinking all of the lemonade," Kyo said flatly.

Yuki almost gasped. "I… only had three cups." He used one of the metals tongs on the counter to pick up a rabbit rice ball and set it in the palm of his hand. This was nice. In a kitchen that smelled like it was supposed to, he and Kyo were teasing like they'd been before, it was… not easier to forget what was in the next room.

Yuki bit the rabbit's head off, savoring the blend of seasoned meat and peppers. "Delicious."

Kyo nodded. "Put them on the table. Thanks."

He stopped, placing a hand against the wall and leaning forward, closing his eyes for a moment. He breathed deeply and Yuki frowned, going to him. "Kyo, are you okay?"

"Yeah," Kyo said, eyes opening. He looked dizzy.

"Come sit down. Have you had a rice ball, yet?"

Kyo shook his head and allowed Yuki to lead him to a chair around the rice ball table. Kyo sat, leaning forward and resting his hands on his knees. "It's just hot. That's all."

Yuki filled a plastic glass with lemonade and sat beside Kyo. "Here; drink. Have you eaten anything today?"

Kyo shook his head. He took the lemonade in both hands, staring into the cup as if it held the mysteries of the universe. "I can't."

"Do you feel sick?" Yuki asked. Dumb questions, of course he did.

Kyo put a finger in the glass and chased a peach slice around in a circle.

Another chair scraped across the floor and Yuki heard Momiji sit down. "Why did you want to have this in your house, Kyo?"

Yuki could have punched him. "Tohru wanted it here," Yuki said. "Momiji, why don't you go outside, go see Tohru's garden?"

"I don't want to see Tohru's garden," Momiji said. Yuki could not get used to how deep his voice was, or his new German accent, which Yuki was sure was for effect. "I want to know why I didn't know; why she didn't tell me. I was someone she would have told."

"Momiji, she didn't tell anyone," Yuki said. "I didn't know. Hanajima and Arisa didn't know. Kisa didn't know."

"Yeah, but you found out weeks ago and so did her friends. You didn't even try to tell us until later. If you had told me when you found out, I would have been where I could get to a phone. If you hadn't waited, I wouldn't have been off in some village with no cell phone reception! I could have seen Tohru, talked to her. Instead, I get to see her now, in a box."

"Momiji, I'm sorry," Yuki said. "I'm so sorry." But it's not the time? Could he really say that to a grieving relative? "Ah… Let's go to the guest room for a bit, if you… want to talk a little." Yuki didn't want to talk at all.

Momiji shook his head. "No. It's okay. I'm good here." He cleared his throat and Yuki turned to look at the young man. His sunglasses were off, revealing bloodshot brown eyes ringed with dark circles. The twelve hour flight from Munich had probably not helped his condition. He'd grown to be handsome but right then he was haggard and bitter, and sad.

Yuki filled a plastic cup with lemonade for Momiji, too, and pressed it in his hands. "It's good."

They sat, Kyo and Momiji staring at their lemonade and Yuki trying to choke down the rest of the rabbit ball which now tasted like coal dust.

"Yuki, will you burn the place down if I ask you to put on a kettle of green tea? I have to offer some to the priest when he gets here," Kyo said. He set the lemonade down on the crowded table and placed his head in his hands. "I think… I forgot something. I need to check the closet again." He rose slowly and drifted out of the kitchen without a backward glance.

Yuki watched him go.

"What's he gonna do, Yuki?" Momiji asked and Yuki knew he wasn't asking about what Kyo was going to right then.

"I don't know," Yuki said. He looked at Momiji. "You can't keep hitting him with those kinds of questions, though, Momiji. I know you're hurt. Everyone was hurt. And now she's gone, and it's awful, but don't attack him."

"I don't mean to… Tohru loved him. He was the one she wanted over everyone else, and I know why. I always knew he was a great guy. It's why I bugged him so much. I just…want to be around him now. It makes me feel like I can hold on to a part of her today," Momiji said. "And, I think that she'd like me to."

"Yeah, she would," Yuki agreed, "but if you want to talk about Tohru and what she did and didn't do, talk to me, okay?"

"Okay," Momiji said. His eyes glimmered as tears threatened to spill from them. "What—what was it like being here?"

Yuki sighed. "Hard as hell. I wanted to leave so many times. Still do."

He rose as Ayame and Mine entered the kitchen. Ayame wore a plain black kimono as did Mine. It struck Yuki how they seemed to fit together, as if made for each other. Ayame gazed around the kitchen and nodded his approval as Mine fingered the table cloth on the counter.

"Ni-san, can you make green tea for the priest?" Yuki asked.

"Of course, Little Brother," Ayame said. "Where is Kyo? Did he go outside with everyone?"

Yuki shook his head. "He thinks he forgot something. I want to check on him."

"Go right ahead. I am very competent at tea making," Ayame said. "Add that to my repertoire, Mine. My specialties are: rice, toast, eggs, and tea!"

"Your coffee is pretty good, too," Mine said.

"Ah, and coffee, too! Ha ha! Now, let's see. Where is that kettle?"

Yuki shook his head and stood. He patted Momiji's shoulder before following Kyo's path.

(~*~)

Tohru and Kyo's bedroom was immaculate. All of the pictures of Tohru and Kyo, though, were face down; the mirror was covered. Tohru's mother's shrine had also been covered. Tohru and her superstitions. A flowery shoe box was open on the bed with colorful envelopes stacked inside. Both closet doors were open, the lights on, but when Yuki looked into them there was no sign of Kyo. He heard the sink turn on in the bathroom, and he knocked on the door.

"Kyo?"

He tested the knob to find it unlocked and let himself in. Kyo stood at the sink, clutching the sides with white knuckles. A large bath towel was tacked over the mirror.

"Hey," Yuki said. He entered the room and stood beside Kyo. A wash cloth sat folded on the side of the sink. Yuki shook out the folds and ran the towel under the faucet, wetting it and squeezing out excess water. He pressed the damp towel to Kyo's brow, frowning at the beads of sweat rolling down the sides of Kyo's face. "We're almost there. Ayame's making tea, and at 3:00 we'll get started, and then it'll be over." Until tomorrow.

Kyo nodded into the towel, taking it from Yuki and wiping it over his face. He wet it again and repeated the process.

"How about some water to drink?" Yuki asked.

Kyo shook his head.

"Kyo, you have to at least drink something," Yuki said. "You're gonna make yourself really sick, and you don't want to be sick right now."

"I can't, Yuki. It makes me gag," Kyo said. "I thought I was gonna throw up on the rice balls."

"Hatori could give you something," Yuki said. "I'll tell him."

The doorbell chimed, echoing from the front of the house into the master bedroom.

"That's the priest," Kyo said. "I need to greet him."

"No," Yuki said. He closed the toilet lid and sat Kyo on it. "Stay here. I will greet the priest and Hatori will come in here with you."

"Yu—"

"Stay here."

Yuki left the bathroom. He heard Mine at the door greeting the visitor. Yuki went straight to the kitchen. Momiji still sat there with Ayame, watching the tea kettle on the stove top. "Momiji, can you tell Hatori Kyo needs him? He's in his bathroom."

"Yeah, sure." Momiji got up, frowning at Yuki. He scratched his head, mussing his short hair, and slipped out the back door.

"Should I go check on Kyo, too?" Ayame asked.

"Hatori will do," Yuki said. "You know he doesn't like being crowded. I'm going to greet the priest."

(~*~)

The house was so full, Yuki thought it'd explode. Family, neighbors, friends, Kyo's students, bakery employees, and neighbors were putting condolence envelopes on the offering table and bowing to Tohru's altar. They knelt on the floor in their black finery; shoes lined the entrance way. Hanajima lingered at Tohru's altar with a tall young man with black hair and dark gray eyes, Gavin. He spoke Japanese with a stammering foreign accent and often apologized for his linguistic errors. Hanajima stayed at his side, picking up for him where his Japanese was lacking. He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her hands.

Arisa and Kureno stayed near the back of the room. Arisa had barely glanced at Tohru's altar. Her face was red and splotchy and she refused to remove her sunglasses. Burning incense made the room smell off, wrong; it also made Yuki's eyes burn and aggravated his allergies. He kept coughing and clearing his throat. Machi mouthed, "Incense?"

Yuki nodded.

The casket was still closed, but they were ready to open it. Kyo was still at the door, greeting people as they entered. Hatori had given him a shot of something and made him eat toast and drink some of the tea Ayame had made. The priest had spoken to Hatori, Ayame, Kisa, Momiji, and Hanajima, but he was waiting for Kyo to approach him. The ceremony wouldn't start until then.

Finally, Kyo closed the front door. He looked to the front of the room, red eyes searching out the priest. He walked with stooped shoulders to speak to the man. Hatori and Shigure were at the casket. Together they unclasped the latches and opened the box, revealing Tohru who looked like a tiny Snow White asleep and waiting for a prince to kiss her back to life. Yuki found himself moving closer. She looked so much like a Tohru who'd gone to sleep watching a movie. Her cheeks were lightly dusted with blush and soft foundation kept her from seeming too pale. Thick, dark brown hair cascaded over her shoulders in loose curls, yellow ribbons reminiscent of the ones Yuki had given her in high school, were tied in her hair. The glorious golden kimono fit her perfectly. Designs made to look like white icing depicted pictures of buttercups and dandelions.

There were soft gasps from guests. Kisa burst into tears and there was a shout from the back of the room. Arisa rushed out the front door and a stunned Kureno chased after her. Hanajima rose from her kneel on the floor, about to go after Arisa as well, but the priest moved to the casket and lit a stick of incense.

He was ready to begin.

Yuki knelt in the front row, between Machi and Kyo. Hatori knelt on the other side of Kyo. As more people got into place, the priest began chanting a sutra. Wisps of smoke rose from the incense, curling around the priest and drifting above Tohru's sweet face.

Yuki reached for Kyo's hand, worried at how cold Kyo's grip was. Yuki glanced at his cousin under his lashes, watching the trembling of his Adam's apple and the stiff way he held his body, as if in pain.

We're almost there, Kyo. It's almost over.

And then what?

The priest gave the signal for the guests to come forward and view Tohru and offer incense to her altar. Yuki got to his feet, keeping a steadying hand at the small of Kyo's back. They stood over Tohru together, and all the coffee and lemonade he'd drunk that day had replenished his supply of tears. His shoulders trembled as he sobbed. Oh Tohru.

He felt Kyo's hand on his shoulder. Kyo was not supposed to be comforting him. Yuki turned to him, but Kyo's eyes were on Tohru. He touched his knuckles to her cheek then turned away, lighting incense and adding it to the incense urn on the altar. He was gone before Yuki realized he needed to light his own. Machi was behind him, lighting one as well. They let their sticks fall together and they followed Kyo back to their places.

Yuki's eyes remained on Tohru as the remainder of the guests offered incense. He watched Kisa cry so hard Hiro had to lead her away. He watched Momiji's hands shake so much he almost dropped the incense on the floor. Hanajima and Gavin dropped their incense, and Hanajima kissed Tohru's forehead. Arisa and Kureno never returned.

Once everyone was seated again, the priest began another sutra, ending the ceremony.

That was all? That was it?

People were rising and talking again. Guests were being led into the kitchen to serve themselves and receive their gift bags.

What had just happened? Yuki stared at around in amazement. They were just going to leave, go eat, while Tohru lie there alone? Hatori was coaxing Kyo to his feet.

"I want you to lie down for a little while," Hatori said.

Machi was shaking Yuki's shoulder. "Honey, do you want to go outside to get away from the incense?"

"N-no, we… isn't someone supposed to stay with Tohru?" Yuki asked, eyes back on the casket.

"That's for the night," Machi said. "Come on, let's get some air."

"But…."

Yuki let Machi pull him up. He expected her to take him through the kitchen into the backyard where the guests were headed, but she took him through the front door. Sunlight tormented him and he turned to go back inside.

"No." Machi took his hand. "Let's walk for a while."

Yuki sighed, letting her lead him to the sidewalk. A slight breeze rustled through the leaves of the trees and teased Machi's bangs. Yuki reached over to smooth them down with his fingers. Neighbors approached, entering the yard with envelopes and covered pans. They greeted Yuki and Machi and ventured inside the house.

Yuki was told things like this would go on all day. He just hoped they didn't all bring food. They'd have no place to put it and would have to send guests home with more than just gift bags.

Machi swung their hands as they plodded on down the sidewalk in their black dress clothes. Yuki wondered how far Machi wanted to go. Perhaps they'd make the block and keep going. He didn't have his cell phone on him, which could be a problem, but he didn't' feel like turning back.

"Hey, isn't that Tohru's friend?" Machi pointed and Yuki followed her finger.

On the curb by Mr. Todo's mailbox, Arisa sat in her black dress with her legs straddled in front of her. Black smoke coiled around her head like toxic snakes and Kureno was nowhere to be found.

"Arisa?" Yuki asked.

The woman turned, cigarette dangling from her lips. "What? Come to call me a coward, too? Well you know what Prince Yuki, take a number, get in line, and get lost." She exhaled smoke.

"I'm not calling you anything. I just…."

She stared at him, wide-eyed, waiting for him to finish his sentence as if he were about to deliver a prophecy. "You just what?"

"I just… want to take a walk. You take care." Yuki marched past her, pulling Machi along.

"Yuki?" Machi asked. "You don't want to talk to her?"

"No," Yuki said. "I don't want to talk to anyone really, not even you right now. I just want air, and to walk, and to be with you."

"So long as I'm quiet?"

"Yes."

Machi kissed his cheek. "Okay."

So, they walked, and waved to neighbors, and ignored street signs as they talked about nothing, and Yuki did his best not to think about the "and then what?" after the funeral.

Author's Note: So, what's the verdict? Like it? Hate it? Don't care either way? Well, any way you liked it, let me know! Please review :). Take care!

Destiny's Child. "Dangerously In Love." Survivor. Sony, 2001. CD.