UNEDITED.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Leftovers and Bushes… Among Other Things

- "Moooom?"

She opened her eyes to find her eldest daughter staring questioningly at her. Sam was snooping for information she was unable to get the night before when Alexis had snuck in through the back door.

- "Go away, you perverted little dwarf."

With a smile on her face, Sam shook her head as she brought her hand from behind her back to reveal a large cup of coffee.

- "Come on, you can't still be mad at me. See, I've brought you a peace offering. Please, Mommy."

Alexis rolled her eyes at the twenty-nine year old woman. Never in their lives together had she called her anything but 'Alexis' or 'Mom;' clearly she was attempting to get back into her good graces. She would not allow all to be forgiven so easily.

- "Mommy nothing. I know why you're in here, and you can turn around and go back to your room or wherever you came from… what time is it anyway?"

- "Ten-thirty."

She pulled the sheets off and headed toward the bathroom.

- "I slept in… I'm shocked you didn't come jumping on my bed like a rabid monkey trying to find out if your jokes panned out the way that you had wanted."

Still holding the cup of coffee, Sam followed her mother.

- "I told you I was sorry!"

- "I forgive you; but that doesn't mean I'm giving you the satisfaction of knowing how your twisted games worked out on my date last night."

She placed the cup on the counter before hopping and taking a seat onto it as she waited for Alexis to come out of the toilet room. She sampled the perfume that sat on the counter.

- "You know I'm not leaving until you tell me."

She sang loud enough for her mother to hear her through the closed door. She was determined to find out how her payback against her mother for her humiliating spanking and time-out had gone.

- "I mean, I don't have to be anywhere today… I'm free like a bird… to bug you until you provide me with the info I want—"

Alexis glared at her daughter as she made her way to the sink to wash her hands. She knew she could not get rid of the young woman so easily.

- "You're in your pajamas."

Sam nodded.

- "That's because I slept over last night. You would've known that had you not snuck in… at what time exactly did you get home?"

While she was tempted to first have her morning coffee, she refused to give her daughter the satisfaction in knowing that she had taken her peace offering. She was still pissed. Instead she put her toothpaste onto her toothbrush and deflected Sam's question.

- "And how'd you get into my room anyway? I locked—"

She did not bother continuing her statement; she already knew.

- "I'm so proud to know that I not only have Freud's model student as a daughter, but she's also quite the miscreant picking locks while holding a hot cup of coffee."

- "Come on, Mom! It wasn't that bad!"

From the corner of her eye she noticed the petite woman smirking as she bit her cuticle. She was quite amused with the mischief she had caused.

- "You're taking too much pleasure in this, you know that? That was… traumatizing… to say the VERY least. It's a good thing I don't have anymore kids of fairytale and Disney-like age. Between you and Diane, I'd be left with nothing to comfortably read to them."

- "Oh please, you can even ask Molly, those fairytales were supposed to be gruesome—"

Alexis pointed her toothbrush at her.

- "Yea, but not filled with… porn, Samantha—"

Sam, however, countered.

- "Have you watched any of those Disney movies? Look at the cover of the Little Mermaid, Mom; there's a huge schlong in Triton's kingdom, and I'm not talking about his—"

She interrupted her.

- "WHERE do you come up with these things? Seriously?"

Sam looked at her mother. Behind the smile that brightened her face, there was a glimmer of sadness. Alexis could see it.

- "I remember a time where my mother had cancer—"

She gave Sam's knee a squeeze.

- "Oh, honey; please don't blame me for your twisted mind."

Sam laughed aloud as she playfully kicked her mother's thigh.

- "Stop it! I spent quite a bit of time here between making sure you didn't fall asleep in the tub or pass out in the shower, and watching Disney movies. Krissy had me watching those damn things so much I memorized them line for line. That got pretty boring; I needed something else to occupy my time."

- "And looking for sexual subliminal messages in children's movies was your solution?"

She nodded.

- "I'm not even ashamed to say, yes. I mean, you don't have to believe me, but it's all over the Internet. What else would you expect from a man who's frozen himself… heh."

Not having anything to say in response, Alexis began to brush her teeth; at least she would be spared from having to answer any questions concerning her evening with Mac. Sam, however, was onto her game.

- "You're not going to be able spend the rest of the day brushing your teeth, Mom; you're going to have to speak to me at some point. I worked too hard on that date of yours, with Mac's agreement, I might add—"

She spit.

- "And again, he asked you to choose a movie that I would like—"

- "I DID! I gave him THREE great options… I figured they'd be great topics of discussion."

- "Oh, like eating pie?"

Sam snickered.

- "I mean that… or other things."

She narrowed her eyes at the daughter before continuing to brush her teeth. She needed to remind herself once she was done to call Lainey for referrals to psychiatrists who specialized in perverts; her daughter fit the bill.

She cut herself another slice of the pie, but managed to capture the most unwanted portion of it; the mere sight of which caused her to blush.

- "You know, this really isn't that bad… although, I refuse to go anywhere near the cherry."

Without a word, he stuck his finger in and plucked it right out and put it in his mouth. He smiled at the look of shock on her face.

- "I saved you the trouble."

- "Under normal circumstances, I would tell you that that was incredibly disgusting and perhaps disturbing, but given that we're eating a cherry pie provided for by someone who may need shock therapy for the issues she clearly has, I suppose I can get over your lack of manners in that respect."

He smiled at her before leaning in to give her a gentle kiss on her lips. He had been wanting to do that since he had picked her up for their date, when he noticed the look of sheer terror on her face when he drove into the Costco lot, and when he finally was able to bring her to their actual date. He had been wanting to kiss her the entire night, but stopped himself. However, with a piece of her cherry in his mouth, he could not contain himself.

- "You know, I could've used my mouth. I think that what I did was pretty appropriate—"

Feeling like a scared little schoolgirl, she nervously smiled back at him. Her dimples were well prevalent which caused him to caress her cheek; she was beautiful.

- "You could've used a fork."

- "But that would've taken the fun out of seeing you… like this."

She put more whipped cream onto her pie before taking another bite.

- "Flushed? Almost as red as these poorly typecasted cherries? You have an odd sense of humor, Commissioner."

He shrugged.

- "It was odd enough to get you to agree to go out with me, wasn't it?"

She was sure she had made the right decision in choosing him.

- "I don't know. You've seen the men I've dated in the past. I don't know how much you want to trust my judgment."

Winking at her, he was sure she had chosen the right man.

- "Well, we've all got one thing in common."

- "And what's that?"

He stood from his seat.

- "We carry big guns."

And with that, he began to clear the table of her empty dish. There was not a cherry in sight.

Having seen his car sitting in the driveway, Maxie and Robin let themselves into the house knowing that he had not yet gone out. They hung their coats before walking into the room to find it as spotless as it always was. Maxie felt somewhat disappointed.

- "From what Sam told us last night, you'd think those two would've torn this living room apart? You know? If Spinelli and I had wine, cherry pie, whipped cream, and visual entertainment we would've—"

Robin stopped her before she shared far more information that she needed to hear.

- "Um, how about we stay on target? Let's find Uncle Mac—"

- "What if Alexis is in there? And Mac's in full gear—"

She shot her cousin a disgusted look.

- "Are you trying to make me throw-up?"

Maxie shrugged as she made her way into the kitchen.

- "Hey, I'm just being realistic here. After what happened the last time those two had liquor in their system, it's quite possible that the bottle of wine was not the only thing that got uncorked and screwed."

Robin looked about the kitchen; it was just as clean as the living room. As she walked toward the back staircase, her phone buzzed.

- "Ok, Sam just sent me a message apologizing for forgetting to text us to let us know that Alexis had actually come home last night. She's going into her room right now to get some information out of her, although she's not optimistic."

- "She's not optimistic Mac and Alexis actually… you know. Or that is was another fail where he couldn't even, in this snow, plow through—"

Robin put her hand up.

- "You're seriously going to make me sick."

And before she could climb the steps, the kitchen door opened; Mac stared at them.

- "I know why you're here, and you can forget it."

Maxie crossed her arms.

- "Now you're shy, Daddy? When you couldn't get it up, you were a chatterbox of information, calling Robin and me to tell us every disgusting detail."

He gave her a kiss on the top of her head.

- "Yea, I figured that since I had traumatized you so terribly, I'd be considerate of your feelings this time around… you're welcome."

He wrapped his arms around Robin.

- "By the way, thanks again for coming over to heat up the food. I don't know what I would've done without you and Patrick. I appreciated your help."

- "Did she like the food?"

He nodded.

- "Yea, it was a big hit."

Maxie opened the fridge; she grabbed the leftovers.

- "Did you hit any other things? Ruffle her feathers? Blindfold the lady of justice while you—"

Robin groaned in disgusting.

- "Will you STOP! Goodness, Maxie!"

But the blonde nevertheless continued.

- "I mean, I guess I could assume that you didn't otherwise you would've called us to tell us… or does that only happen when you randomly wake up naked with her?"

For someone who had been so grossed out by his overshare after his first night with Alexis, his daughter seemed more curious than normal. Mac was suspicious.

- "Why are you so interested in my sex life, Maxie?"

Not even bothering to heat up the food, she stuck a fork into the cold potato; she held it up to the man.

- "Since I wanted the best man to win my best friend's mother's heart… among other things."

- "Okay, so we've helped you; now tell us about their date! Where'd Mac take Mom?"

Having just finished putting all of the groceries away, the girls followed Sam into her room. Seeing as she was spending the night, she wanted to change into her pajamas before they began their girl's night.

- "I already told you; they went to Costco?"

Not showing any interest in giving the woman any privacy, both Kristina and Molly lied on their sister's bed as they continued to probe her for information.

- "But you have Mac's car—"

- "Where's your car?"

- "Were you and Mac working together to surprise Mommy?"

Sam rolled her eyes as she changed.

- "Mac and Mom have my car."

- "Why?"

- "Because I can't drive two cars at once, Krissy."

The girls were relentless.

- "So you were working with Mac, then. This was a huge set-up?"

She walked out of the room and into her bathroom.

- "GO GET CHANGED!"

Molly jumped off the bed to follow her, but Sam quickly shut and locked the door. The girl, however pounded on the door like a crazed journalist looking for the latest scoop.

- "You're not going to be able to avoid this all night! You're going to have to tell us SOMETHING!"

And hearing the doorbell ring, Sam smiled at the pleasant interruption.

- "Saved by the bell!"

She quickly finished up in the bathroom, slammed the door open, and made her way to the door.

- "Go get changed! First one down gets to choose the first movie."

Without waiting for her sisters to agree to her terms, Sam walked out of the room. Reaching the living room, she found Maxie and standing on the other side of the glass door. She quickly ushered them in from the cold.

- "Hey! Glad you could make it!"

Taking off her jacket, Maxie smiled at her friend's attire.

- "Nice PJs."

Dopey the Dwarf was all over her pants while her t-shirt, customized like a jersey, had a huge number one on the front, with "Dopey" and again the number one written along the back.

- "Believe me, I didn't choose them! My mother thought she was funny. Krissy and Mol have Grumpy and Happy."

With a smile, Robin raised her eyebrows.

- "Well, we would've gotten here sooner, but someone was taking the better half of the century coming down from Spinelli's room—"

Maxie smacked her cousin in the arm.

- "ROBIN! She did NOT need to know that… although… it really was a great time, Sam. You and Jason should really consider not getting married. The sex is—"

Seeing Molly enter the room wearing a similar pair of pajamas as Sam, Robin cleared her throat. From what she had heard from the prior morning's events, the poor girl had been subjected to quite the many subtle sexual jokes. Having a young and impressionable daughter of her own, Robin refused to have such conversations in front of the youngest Davis.

- "Oh, hey Molly! You look too cute in your Happy outfit."

- "Thanks, Robin. Hi Maxie. What are you two doing here? Do you know about my Mom and Mac's date?"

Turning her sister in the direction of the kitchen, Sam gave the young girl a gentle push.

- "Alright! How about you get the popcorn started while I entertain our guests?"

- "What if—"

Sam stopped her.

- "I hate to pull ranks, Mol—"

- "So don't! I wanna know—"

She kissed her sister on top of her head.

- "If you make the popcorn, I'll tell you and Krissy everything I know."

- "Knock, knock!"

Diane walked into the empty living room. She knew that both Sam and Alexis were home as their cars were in the driveway.

- "Considering the fact that this town is riddled in mob violence, perhaps you might consider locking the dooooor!"

Unpacking the contents of the bag she carried into the house, she sang her statement.

- "You can't trust that any vagabond from the streets of Port Charles won't come strolling into your little chalet."

She walked into the kitchen collecting plates to set the table. She heard footsteps moving about down the halls; it was only a matter of seconds before the mother and daughter would come arguing in her presence. So, she hurriedly returned to the living room and set the table with her treats.

- "Lex, if you would be so kind as to hurry up; this bottle needs to be uncorked! The process, after last night's activities with Maximilian, is too tiring for me."

Dressed for the day, Alexis entered the room followed by an innocently smiling Sam. She had refused to drink the cup of coffee that her daughter had given her, but seeing as Diane had clearly let herself into her home, she figured she would first stop to say hello, before dumping the drink in the sink. She would go to Kelly's for another cup.

- "What the hell are you doing here, Diane… and so early? Happy Hour doesn't start for another hour… biding your time?"

Sam popped a strawberry from the table into her mouth.

- "And how did you get in? I know I locked the door before I went to bed."

Diane tossed Sam the key she had taken from underneath the porch chair cushion.

- "You really need to find a better hiding spot for this."

- "It's not everyday the town lush breaks into our house."

Turning her attention back to Alexis, Diane ignored her best friend's pint-sized daughter.

- "And do you really need to ask me what I'm doing here, Lex? Your date with Mac is so popular it's a trending topic on twitter!"

Alexis shuddered at the thought. She liked her life to be private. Unfortunately, given the town in which she lived and the people with whom she affiliated, privacy was not always possible. Someone was always in someone's business; sadly, as of late, the latter someone was her, and the former was everyone else.

- "What's all this?"

She pointed to the table Diane had set of strawberries, a bowl- rather Tupperware- of chocolate syrup, and a can of whipped cream.

- "It's leftovers… from last night."

Sam immediately spit out the strawberry she had dipped into the chocolate and put into her mouth. Luckily for her, at the mention of leftovers, Alexis had anticipated her gag reflex; she had her hand out and ready to catch the tainted fruit.

- "DAMN IT! Why would you—"

Alexis grabbed a napkin to cover Sam's mouth before a chain of curses was spit out worse than the chewed up strawberry.

- "Diane, while we appreciate the gesture, if you don't mind, we would prefer if you kept your… leftovers… home."

The redhead rolled her eyes as she shook a can.

- "I'll have you know, you perverted twit, that I purchased too many strawberries for Max and my liking. None of these went anywhere near the many crevices—"

Alexis put her hand in the air while Sam poured herself a large glass of wine. Neither woman needed any inference concerning what Diane had done with the other strawberries she had left… behind. Knowing Diane, the uses could easily be assumed to have been adventurous.

- "You know what? I think we're good. Now, Sam you probably want to head on home; don't you honey? You haven't seen Jason since yesterday—"

Diane continued.

- "You can take the strawberries and—"

Sam glared at the woman.

- "I hope you grow a strawberry bush—"

- "That would be delightful… for Max, of course."

Before her mother could grab the glass of wine she had poured from her hands, Sam quickly finished it; the image of a strawberry bush sickened her more than thought of where the strawberries the woman had brought them had been. She shuddered at the thought.

- "Mom, despite your friend's crudeness, I'm here for at least the next couple of hours until my buzz from drinking this wine at eleven-thirty in the morning on an empty stomach is gone… although if she keeps talking the way she is, your rug might need to be replaced."

Alexis squeezed the bridge of her nose.

- "Stop entertaining her with your own crude behavior and you wouldn't need to replace my rug."

She leaned into her mother.

- "I mean, you wouldn't want me driving in this condition would you? Certainly not in my pajamas; and definitely not when there's snow and black ice covering the ground."

She batted her eyelashes for emphasis as she poured herself a second glass.

- "Would you, Mommy?"

Alexis resigned herself to having her daughter stay home for at least the amount of time it would take her to sober up; she was fine with that as her home was her daughter's home as well. She would not ask her to leave if she was not ready… regardless of how irritating she became. Diane, on the other hand, should have been an easy fix; she could simply send her and her sex food leftovers home. She owed no duty to the woman. Sadly, she knew better; once Sam and Diane got together, they would bug her until they got the information they sought out of her. Neither woman would leave.

- "You know what?"

But, she was smarter than her daughter and best friend.

- "I actually have to be somewhere right now. And seeing as you haven't yet showered, baby, I guess you're stuck here until you've sobered up."

She kissed Sam on the top of her head and handed her the chewed up and spit out strawberry she had wrapped in a napkin.

- "Take care of that for Mommy."

And for good measure, making her way to the door, she grabbed Sam's car keys and the spare she kept on the hook. She put them in her purse.

- "Lock up if you leave before I return, sweetheart. Diane?"

The wino placed her hands on her hip.

- "You have your nerve leaving like this! I come here bearing gifts that I thought you'd enjoy like a sad housewife whose husband was banging his secretary, and this is how you repay me?"

Alexis winked.

- "Yes well, I'm sure you'll find someone else to give those to; I've got my own banging with a fully loaded gun, thank you very much. I'll be seeing you. Bye!"

And she quickly ran out of the house hearing the gasps of her best friend and daughter. She smiled widely as she made her way to the car.

- "Suckers."

Alas, her victory was short-lived. To her annoyance, Diane had made it her business to park in her driveway; she was stuck.

- "You're not as smart as you think, missy!"

She turned to find the red head smiling victoriously at her from the porch with Sam in a fit of laughter.

- "BEFORE I HAVE IT TOWED, I SUGGEST YOU MOVE YOUR CAR, RIGHT NOW!"

But the winds once again turned. Before the woman could respond, a car honked from behind the disgruntled homeowner.

- "Do you need a ride?"

She turned back around to Diane and Sam, stuck out her tongue. The fates, it seemed, were on her side.

- "I sure do, thank you!"

And walking to the car, from behind, she flipped a middle finger at the two women. Victory was hers.