Shorter for lack of time.

Many thanks for your comments! Please keep them coming.

UNEDITED

[b][u]Chapter Thirty-Five[/u]

Oral Contracts[/b]

- "Just meet me there!"

Sam pinched the bridge of her nose to the reluctant response she received. She hated arguing with the man to be social.

- "Listen to me, Jason; you agreed—"

She laughed as he interrupted her.

- "How I got you to agree doesn't matter. The point is that you agreed to come… no pun… so now you have to… especially because you love me. Now, if I don't see you there with bells on, there'll be no… you know… anytime soon. Bye, babe."

She slipped the phone into her back pocket as to walked into the empty living room. She had given her mother ample time to get ready for their night out; it was clear that she was dawdling.

- "MOM! Let's go!"

Alexis rounded the corner into the room wearing the outfit Sam had selected for her, along with a stylish clutch she had found hidden on the top shelf of her closet. She was not sure when or where exactly she had gotten it, but she figured that it would work just fine for the evening.

- "Relax! I was just telling your sisters we were leaving."

She looked Sam over.

- "You look beautiful, honey."

Before Sam could return the compliment to her tight jean wearing, bust hugging mother, the doorbell was rang. Alexis moved to answer it.

- "Are you expecting someone?"

- "Despite the amount of time I spend here, I don't exactly live here. Maybe Krissy—"

And no.

- "Diane! What—"

Without waiting for an invitation into the house, the distressed woman crossed the threshold.

- "I can't take it anymore, Lex! I feel like a turkey on Thanksgiving."

As she moved to dramatically drop her bag on the floor, she recalled the bottle of wine she had inside of it. Taking it out, she looked at her best friend.

- "I have been oiled up, stuffed, basted, and now—"

She dramatically dropped her bag on the floor while holding her beloved bottle of wine.

- "I am burnt from an overheated oven. I can't take it anymore, Lex. My innards are—"

Sam shook her head in a disgusted fashion.

- "WHOA! Time-out! No, no, no… not tonight."

She could have taken Diane's oversharing on any night, except that one. She and Maxie had worked too hard to get their plans on the ball to have it ruined by the hypersexual attorney.

- "We have plans. Go home. My mother will call you tomorrow."

Alexis smacked her daughter in the arm.

- "Sam."

- "WHAT? We do! Come on, get her out of here before this turns into the Drunken Vagina's Monologues or something—"

As though she had not heard a word the younger woman had said, the redheaded woman shed her coat and began to uncork her bottle.

- "It has been a month of non-stop Merry-Go-Round riding. I just… I can't take—"

- "Mommy, I think I have cramps. I feel like—"

Molly froze in her spot. She blushed upon realizing that Diane was in the room.

- "Oh… forget it."

But before she could leave, the woman who had not bothered to use a glass and instead drank her wine directly from the bottle, smiled sympathetically and somewhat enviously at the girl.

- "Our little flower has bloomed, has she?"

Molly covered her face in embarrassment.

- "Mooooom—"

Alexis shook her head.

- "Run away… NOW."

Diane, however walked over to the girl.

- "NO! Come over here my teeny-weenie peppermint stick… wait, that seems inappropriate."

She turned to her best friend.

- "Hey Lex, you're good at giving your three peanuts… Wait… [i]Jesus God HELP ME![/i] I can't turn it off—"

Sam scoffed.

- "Were you ever able to?"

Taking another swig from her wine bottle as she ignored Sam's retort, Diane wrapped her free arm around Molly's shoulder.

- "Let's have a little chat; you and your Aunty Di—"

But Sam quickly grabbed the confused and embarrassed girl.

- "Please don't traumatize my little sister. How about we call you a cab… or you can tell us whatever is on your mind—"

Feeling obligated to ward the girl from disaster in her life, Diane pulled Molly back to her.

- "It isn't my [i]mind[/i] that's the issue here, [i]SAMANTHA[/i]! It's my—"

Knowing that the woman was on the road to complete inebriation, Molly stared helplessly at her mother. All she had wanted was some Tylenol.

- "[i]Mommy![/i]"

Alexis felt her face flush. If she did not get Diane out of her house, her daughter would be sure to learn more about… [i]life[/i] than she cared for the girl to know. As it was, her best friend was scarring the child more than delivering the girl in a train wreck had caused to her own body. She had to save her baby.

- "Molly, tell Kristina to give you something for your stomach. I'll come by to check on you before I leave—"

Sam interrupted; they were running late.

- "Mom, we're leaving—"

However, Alexis was having no part in being rushed. Her best friend was drinking wine as though it were plain grape juice, her eldest daughter had practically dragged her from the tub, her baby had become a woman soon-to-be spawn, and now she was being rushed out the door when all she wanted to do was curl in her bed with a book. She was quickly becoming agitated with the situation.

- "In fifteen minutes, Sam. FIFTEEN minutes; that's all I need."

- "Fine! [i]Sorry![/i]"

Noticing her daughter put her hands in the air in acquiescence, Alexis moved to Diane.

- "OKAY!"

She grabbed the wine bottle before the woman could take another sip.

- "Rule #1, we don't allude to, insinuate, or overtly make outrageous comments in front of my [i]eleven year old[/i] daughter who has now reached the age of… fertility. Rule #2, there will be no chatting with my [i]eleven year old[/i] daughter about her blooming. I don't want you traumatizing her. And rule #3—"

Diane reached for the bottle, but pouted when Alexis held it from her reach.

- "What? Thou shall not breathe in the same vicinity as your eleven year old [i]bleeding[/i]—"

Sam jumped in to stop the woman from continuing. Comments about her mother and her were fine, but she would not allow the same to occur about her sister.

- "HEY! Keep Molly out—"

The drunken woman rolled her eyes.

- "[i]HEART![/I] I have BOUNDARIES, you know! She's a bleeding [i]heart[/i]… a ROMANTIC… or something like that. I think that's what it means. Give me my bottle back. It's the only long necked thing I want to soothe me for a long while."

Alexis let out an exasperated breath. Her head was going to explode.

- "Oh… my… [i]God[/i]. What did I ever do in my life to deserve this?"

She took a swig from her best friend's bottle; she needed a drink.

- " [i]NUMBER THREE[/i] was if you intend to get toasted, I suggest you do it—"

Seeing Diane cower in a bushed disgust at her unintentional double entendre, Alexis rolled her eyes.

- "I suggest if you decide to get [i]TOASTED[/i], do [i]SO[/i] on the porch because you're not going to ruin my couch or rug."

And to prove she was serious, she placed the bottle outside.

- "That's the drinking fountain. Alright? Out there! NOT in here!"

She left the door opened for the woman to follow it like a puppy to a bone.

- "Oh, and Samantha?"

Biting her cuticle as she leaned against the chaise waiting to leave, Sam looked at her mother.

- "Yup?

She grabbed the car keys from the keyholder and threw them at her daughter.

- "You're forcing me to go out and have fun; you're the designated driver."

And leaving the room at the sound of her daughter's partial groan and squeal, Alexis headed toward her youngest daughter's bedroom to undo any damage the few minutes of exposure to Diane had done.

Mac walked… well, Maxie [i]dragged[/i] him into the bar. He was not certain of how bringing him to the place where he had gotten completely wasted a month prior could have possibly helped his inability to raise the bar in his relationship with Alexis. Aside from bringing her into his life, Jake's had done nothing but give him torment and his daughter a new hobby.

- "Do you want to explain to me how being here is going to help my relationship with Alexis?"

Maxie smacked the bar to get Coleman's attention.

- "No, not really."

Noticing his customers, Coleman smirked as he carried a beer and an orange soda their way.

- "Ah! Look who's here! It's my favorite non-married couple, Pixie Dust and Barbeque Sauce. We're all set—"

Maxie quickly shook her head; she had not told Mac the evening's plans.

- "Coleman! How about you get Mac something to drink? Huh?"

In an overt way to flirt with the young non-married woman, the dirty bartender ran his hands through his greasy hair.

- "You got it, gorgeous."

He turned his attention to the commissioner who had just shoved his daughter away from the bar.

- "Mac, my man! What can I do you for? The last time you were in here, you and the ever gorgeous tight-ass, in [i]every[/i] way, lady of justice—"

Mac stopped him. That was his… his… [i]something[/i] Coleman was talking about.

- "Hey! Just get me a beer without the Alexis talk, thanks."

Coleman nodded as he walked back to the end of the bar flirting with every woman that caught his eye. Since his break-up with Kate, he had been on the prowl for the next uptight, self-righteous, independent, self-made woman; he found the chase thrilling. Seeing how offended Mac got at his comments about Alexis, the popular bartender hoped he had not lost his chance at using the commissioner to set him up with other attorney-types such his girl.

- "Here you go, dude. I meant no harm in my comments about your little lady."

Mac appreciated the apology. It was bad enough that he had a tendency to put his foot in his mouth when speaking to Alexis; he did not need others to follow suit.

- "Thanks. How much do I owe you?"

Coleman handed him a bowl of nuts.

- "On the house as long as you…"

He snickered as he noticed Maxie glaring in his direction.

- "Keep your head up."

Unlike the muscular, blue-eyed man who clearly did not want to be in the bar but nevertheless entered, the petite blond was not known for her discretion.

Staring through the rearview window at the woman hugging the bottle of wine to her body as though it were a treasured doll, Sam shook her head in disgust. The night was not going according to plan.

- "Why the hell did you let her come with us?"

Alexis leaned her head against the window. Babysitting her best friend was not something that she had planned, but it was not as though she had much of a choice.

- "Seeing as she's had half of a bottle of wine by herself in ten minutes, my options were to stay home with her where she could continue to traumatize your sister, let her stay home [i]alone[/i] with both of your sisters and inflict her damage on them, ooooor take her with us. Now, which of those would you have chosen?"

Sam stated the obvious solution.

- "Um… I would've taken her home—"

Alexis countered.

- "Alcohol poisoning."

- "Max's—"

She stared at her daughter as though she had twenty heads.

- "Isn't that why we're stuck running a night care center for a borderline nymphomaniac alcoholic? Max is just as bad as she is. If we take her over there, he'll—"

- "Hop on her like an unfixed dog in heat."

- "Basically. And you will NOT be happy if I have to drop her off at your house in the middle of the night because she's a liability on my sanity and on your sisters'… [i]everything[/i]."

Sam sighed as she stepped out of the car to open the back passenger door for her mother's drunkard best friend.

- "Knock Knock! I'm opening the door! Please do NOT fall out when I do so. You have been warned. Mom—"

The expert attorney walked around the car to stand on the other side of the door. She would catch Diane if she fell from the car, but first…

- "Diane Miller, by my daughter opening this door and by you stepping out of the car, you waive all rights to bring forth any lawsuits against either or both Samantha McCall or Alexis Davis, or the Cassadine family and all they own. You agree that anything you are told you have done, or what you will recall in the morning when you awake [i]somewhere[/i], that it will have been done on your own volition. And you free us from any liability for anything you might or undoubtedly [i]will[/i] do in the coming hours until all the alcoholic you have consumed has left your system. Do you—"

Sam grabbed her mother's arm; she pulled her down so that she could whisper in her ear.

- "Mention the car."

Alexis frowned until she realized that they had ridden in her car.

- "Oh! Damn it. Why the hell didn't we take her car? Sh!t… okay."

She resumed her position and demeanor.

- "Finally, you agree that any damage to this car incurred through projectile vomiting, foaming of the mouth, or drool resulting from a delayed reaction to your earlier binge or future drinking will be yours entirely. Do you—"

Sam pulled the woman to her again.

- "Add the bill."

Alexis nodded.

- "You further agree that any bill coming to our table for alcohol consumption this evening will be yours as well. Also—"

Before she could say or add anymore to the oral contract, Diane opened and stumbled out of the car. Even in her drunken stupor, she noticed a familiar car in the lot.

- "I agree to everything just as long as we can get our asses in there and sing our little asses off because it's karaoke night. I think you should sing [i]Let's Get It On[/i], maybe you can get Mac's great balls on fire… well… only to rev up his engine for once… not… you [i]know[/i]… to give you gonorrhea or anything."

She hiccupped before opening the door to the bar.

- "I need a drink. Let's GO!"

Blowing up her bangs in frustration, Alexis glared at her daughter who had hurriedly followed Diane inside of the bar.

- "Coleman had better have some fresh and unsalty nuts in there."