Chapter 10:Blóðfesta
Despite my lack of satisfying rest, I woke up with the sunset. Sookie was breathing quietly beside me. As much as I enjoyed listening to her sleep, I desperately wanted to be released from my silver bonds now that the threat of the sun spell was past. I could not begin healing until the irritating metal was pried away from my skin.
"Sookie."
She stirred and slipped an arm further around me as if to snuggle in more deeply. She was exhausted.
"Sookie." I spoke louder and this time, she startled awake.
Her first feelings were confusion and fear, but she quickly oriented herself. "Has the sun set?"
"A few moments ago."
She leaned up on her elbow and I could see that the faux fur of my pillow had left a pattern of tiny hatch marks across her cheek. "So we can get that silver off of you so you can start to heal?"
"I think so, yes."
"Thank God," she said fervently, giving me a quick kiss and then rolling up off the bed. She went to the foot of my bed and began with the lengths of chain that lay across my ankles, carefully pulling them up and away from where they had fused with my flesh, removing them link by link.
I screamed. The only good thing to be said about it was that the silver itself had been continuously tortuous; its removal was excruciating, but as soon as the silver was no longer in contact with my flesh, the burns felt better. I tried to suppress my moans of pain for Sookie's sake, but every now and again, she removed a particularly deeply buried link and I couldn't help but shout with the pain of it.
By the time Sookie had moved to the lengths across my waist and wrists, she was shaking with horror. She pulled these chains away even more slowly and delicately as a result and I realized to my dismay that her gingerly technique was making the pain worse. As she dragged bloodied links out of my stomach, I gritted my teeth but couldn't help but roar and moan at the slow, painful progress.
By the time she got to the links on my throat, I knew had to say something or risk passing out from the drawn-out pain. I expected it to hurt like a motherfucker no matter how the silver was removed, but a quick, hard jerk would be best. Sookie had braced herself with one hand on my chest and the other on the last remaining bundle of silver when I urged her, "Yank it off – it's better."
I felt her confusion and anxiety. "Oh...won't it…pull some of you off with it?" Her brow was wrinkled with concern.
"Yeah, well, that's okay," I reassured her in a low voice, closing my eyes so I couldn't see to anticipate her motion. Some things hurt worse when you can see them coming. "It doesn't hurt as much as the silver. And it heals faster," I explained. I lifted my chin slightly so that she could pull freely.
For all my calm preparation, I still wasn't ready for the blazing agony when Sookie ripped the silver from my throat. "Helvetes jävla fan!" I roared in agony. Realizing Sookie had hoped for a less intense reaction, I gasped, "Thank – thank you," to reassure her she had done the right thing by me.
Sookie had recoiled when I cursed, clenching her hands upright in fists as if fearful of touching me again. "But – you said it would heal faster!" she burst out, dismayed.
I groaned at the pain. Because of my age, I had expected my wounds to begin healing rapidly as soon as the irritant of the silver was removed, but I could still feel the weeping, red burns across my neck. Lack of rest might slow the process down, as would failure to feed.
Oh.
I hadn't fed from Sookie while we made love, nor had the King fed me while I was in custody. Counting back, it had been three and a half days since I last consumed any blood. Certainly I could survive for a long time without feeding, but healing required the energy that feeding gave me.
"Yeah," I grunted in discomfort. "I'm just realizing I haven't fed since…"
"Since my fairy godmother?" Sookie interrupted.
"Right," I murmured in acknowledgement. I braced myself to sit up; every movement seemed to rub the open edges of my wounds against one another. I managed to prop myself up, elbows behind me, but I couldn't go any further for the moment. Not only was I in a great deal of pain, I was exhausted from the long ordeal. How the fuck was I going to feed in this condition? I doubted I was going to be able to get up the ladder to the living room, much less go out and hunt something.
Sookie leaned over and stroked my arm. "You want a Tru-Blood?" she suggested.
Tru-Blood, for all its touted "basic nutritional value" for vampires, not only tasted like crap, it lacked the essential magical component – the sacred life force – necessary for anything but mere sustenance. I needed real blood to heal; unfortunately for me, the only real blood in the vicinity was in my lover, from whom I had sworn not to drink. I had kept that promise even during lovemaking, an effort even I considered heroic but a demonstration of my love for Sookie. I was not about to break my vow just because of a little pain.
Okay, maybe a lot of pain.
"Oh, no. Tru-Blood isn't gonna help with this." I closed my eyes; as strong as my commitment to my vow was, I didn't want to test my will unnecessarily. Not only did it seem foolish to torture myself by staring at Sookie's untouchable neck, but I was afraid she might see the longing in my eyes. No, the only alternative was to see if sleep helped me to heal, albeit more slowly. "I just need a rest." I edged back onto my pillow, fighting through the pain.
"You need to feed." Sookie stated very matter-of-factly.
I turned my head away from her, eyes closed to minimize the temptation. "There is no one," I said, as much to remind myself of my promise as to point out the reality to her.
"There's me." I could feel her love for me pulsing behind the suggestion.
The only thing that would press the limits of my self-control: Sookie willingly offering her blood to me, giving it to me in love. Her fairy blood would be alluring to any vampire, but few humans realize that the flavor of blood is subtly influenced by the emotions of the donor. Sookie's blood, enhanced by her love for me, could only be exquisite.
If I had a functioning heart, it would have skipped a beat.
Although I could feel the sincerity behind her offer, I opened my eyes and turned back towards her to verify her emotions. I studied her hazel eyes, but I saw no hesitation, no fear. "Please don't say this if you don't mean it," I croaked. I didn't think I could stand the disappointment if she offered so much and then didn't carry through with it.
Sookie's expression was resolute. "I do mean it."
Sookie was offering her blood to me voluntarily.
Sookie who loved me.
Not only were Sookie's feelings going to enhance the taste of her blood, but her offer opened up a possibility I hadn't even dared hope for. If she accepted my blood in return – accepted me – we would be One. And it was happening now.
My mouth was actually dry with expectation. I licked my lips.
Sookie brushed her hair away from her neck, instructing me, "Now, you know my blood's special, like…"
"…like the fairy goddess," I finished for her. I remembered the mouthwatering taste of the fairy, but that wasn't what was important now. It was the meaning of the act.
"Just a fraction of that, and I'm trusting you not to lose control," Sookie said firmly.
"Take something silver, hold it in your hand, and silver me should I do anything unwanted," I suggested. I hoped I would not; I would make my best effort. But I was honestly so excited that I wasn't sure I trusted myself to maintain full control.
Sookie leaned down beside my bed, picked up a length of silver chain and then wrapped it around her fist. As I watched her wind the links around her hand until they formed a thick shield of silver, I was determined that she would have no cause to use the corrosive metal on me.
"I'm trusting you, Eric." Sookie held up her silvered fist to me, but I felt no fear from her. Despite the proximity of the silver, I couldn't take my eyes off the pulse beating beneath the tanned skin of Sookie's throat.
"I won't betray you," I promised. "Ever."
"I may remind you of that someday," Sookie said with a smile. Placing her silvered hand against the downturned collar of my shirt, careful not to let the links brush against any exposed skin, she gracefully swept her hair behind her head and bared the side of her neck to me. As she leaned in closer to me, I took my time inhaling her scent, savoring the enticing perfume of her blood. After brushing my lips along the edge of her lovely jaw, I popped my fangs with calm deliberation, determined to maintain my self-control despite Sookie's heady aroma.
My eyes closed in order to focus on every sensation I was experiencing, I slipped my fangs into her neck as delicately as I could. Sookie gasped and flinched, but I could feel that she was more startled at the intimate pressure of my mouth against her sensitive skin than in pain. As my lips and tongue began to move at her neck, I could feel her surprised pleasure.
The moment the drops of her blood hit my tongue, I was hard. Intoxicating. Delectable. Exhilarating. No words in any language could do justice to the wonder that was Sookie's fairy-enhanced blood, especially when flavored with her feelings for me. I wrinkled my brow as the sweet and salty elixir filled my mouth, and with a passionate groan, I slid my right hand up her back and slipped my fingers into the tumble of her blonde hair. I could feel my wounds close and my flesh knit together as I nuzzled at her throat, gulping and sucking, and when I felt a flicker of anxiety from Sookie, I slipped my hand forward along her delicate jawline in order to comfort and reassure her.
The taste of her was fucking amazing, and I clutched at her hair again as I drew more deeply on the bite, greedy to have more. Sookie began to whimper, her fear at my intensity escalating to the point that it overwhelmed her erotic pleasure, so with one last gluttonous swallow of her nectar-like blood, I pulled away abruptly. My feeding had lasted only a few seconds, so I was not truly satisfied, but I would not hurt her, especially not in this.
I growled in frustration, my cock hard, my fangs full erect, wishing I could have more of Sookie's blood, but knowing that it was not possible without harming or frightening her.
What was possible, however, was to offer her my blood – to offer her me. All of me.
Sookie's eyes were wide with uncertainty even as I pulled away and I saw her gulp as if she was afraid I would suddenly latch onto her throat again and drink her dry, as I had the full-blooded fairy. If we were One, she would know my intent and lose that fear.
I let go of her silky hair and I could feel the tingle of Sookie's curiosity as she watched me bring my hand slowly to my mouth. My eyes never leaving hers, I bit into my palm, my fangs leaving two deep puncture wounds that began to bleed freely.
I held out my hand in invitation.
Sookie stuttered with confusion. "But I'm – I'm not injured."
"We will be One," I explained. No longer would the bond between us flow only one way; she would know my feelings as intimately as I knew hers, and the shared love between us would grow stronger, fed by our united cores. Our bond would be the deepest kind known between a vampire and another being, deeper even that that between Maker and progeny.
Sookie stared at me and I felt her emotions churn. Confusion. Curiosity. Love. Desire. And then, what I had longed for: trust. She tucked her hair behind her ears and, her eyes fixed on mine, she pulled my hand to her mouth and began to drink. I was transfixed as I watched her lips and tongue suckle at the twin wounds in my palm, the visual making the sensation of her soft mouth against my flesh doubly erotic. Sookie's eyes closed in languorous pleasure as she consumed me, and as I felt my essence begin to swirl through her system, I groaned with enjoyment.
As the wounds in my hand began to close, Sookie lapped at the sensitive marks, licking them clean. Not only was the sensation of Sookie's warm tongue against my palm intensely arousing, but I could feel our blood moving in one another's bodies, weaving the magic of our bond between us, and as Sookie and I became One, I shuddered in a spontaneous orgasm against the fabric of my jeans.
Sookie's eyes fluttered open in surprise as she sensed my climax through our emotional connection and I could feel her bewilderment at what she had just experienced. Ecstatic to realize that she was finally feeling my emotions as I had hers since we met, I pulled my hand away and instead explored her blood-stained mouth with my own, tasting the intoxicating mix of our unique flavors together.
As I fell back onto the bed, I pulled Sookie with me, and her silvered hand shifted and brushed against my bare skin. We both gasped at the sudden pain, my experience a direct one and Sookie's a reflection of my own through the bond. "Eric! I'm sorry!" she blurted, jerking her hand away to hastily untangle the silver and toss it to the floor.
"It's okay," I said with a breathless laugh. "Look, healing already," I whispered before pulling her for another deep kiss. That I had felt her feel my pain made me dizzy with ecstasy. We were One, truly.
"Does exchanging blood with a human always feel like this?" Sookie said, pulling her mouth away from mine, her eyes heavy-lidded with desire for me.
"No…This is special. It requires that both share their blood willingly and that there already be love between the two, or the magic doesn't happen." I brushed her hair away from her face, studying her beauty. "God, you are so beautiful."
"So are you," Sookie whispered in return, blushing.
"I want to make love to you," I said. It had been amazing before; I couldn't even imagine how it would be with our new connection.
Sookie laughed. "Uh, I think we might want to clean up a bit before that, sweetie." She ran her hands through my hair and pressed a kiss against my temple. "I want you, too, but I at least need to get out of these nasty clothes. Come on." Sookie sat back up and tugged at my hand. "Let's get upstairs and do this right."
Once we were on the main level of the house, I started to go up the stairs to Sookie's room, but she pulled me in a different direction. "No, Eric! Let's use the guest room downstairs." She glanced sideways at me with a smile. "The bed's bigger and you'll be more comfortable."
The bed in the downstairs bedroom was considerably larger than Sookie's own, and there was an attached bathroom with a shower, just as there was upstairs. We helped each other undress, pausing along the way to scatter caresses and kisses on one another's skin. Sookie curiously brushed her fingers across my neck and wrists where the marks of the silvering had been until I took her blood. "How is it healed so fast, Eric?" she asked. "You took so little blood from me." She frowned a little as if puzzled as she peered closely at the unblemished skin of my throat before pressing her lips to the hollow there.
I shrugged. "I don't know; I suppose it must be your fairy blood. Or maybe it's a side effect of the blood exchange." I stroked her cheek with one finger, tracing the curve until lightly brushing my fingertip over her lips. "Thank you for giving yourself to me, Sookie," I said. "I'll make sure you never regret it." I could feel as she experienced my joy and gratitude and felt her own trust and pleasure in return.
"Let's get that shower so I can really give myself to you," Sookie said with a saucy grin.
"I'm just going to get you all dirty again," I teased. I pulled her close and kissed her, running my hands along her tanned flesh. I could feel that, just like me, she was beginning to float on the waves of emotion that were flowing around and between us through the bond, but she stepped into the tub and tugged at me to join her, intent on having her way. My eternally stubborn Sookie. I smiled, buoyed by the swelling bliss rising inside us.
As I joined her in the shower, I realized that I could detect a faint, pearly glow from Sookie, and then noticed that I, too, was emanating a similar light from my skin. As we moved closer together, the light from both our bodies brightened, flared and then merged into one, forming a single halo of radiance around us. Not only could I see a myriad of colors rippling in the aurora of light surrounding us, I felt as if each unique color had a scent, a sound, a taste, even an emotion attached to it.
"Wow," I breathed, astonished at the kaleidoscope of colors and sensations shimmering around us. Sookie's hands ran over my bare shoulders and then slid up to my face, which she was studying with an expression of wonder. I could feel her awe, although it wasn't clear to me exactly what she was responding to.
"It's a miracle," Sookie whispered. Her hands drifted across my chest and along my jawline, but her rapt regard never left my face.
"What is?" I asked as I twisted a silky lock of her hair in my fingers. I was astonished to realize I could feel the sunshine that had lightened the fair strands, a pleasant sensation of heat and comfort.
"You. Your blood." Her low voice seemed to be shot through with strands of green and violet light. I smiled as I felt her wonder encircle us. "It's amazing," she murmured.
"So is yours," I responded as I coiled another strand of her hair around my fingers. I could not only feel the sunshine, I could see the honeysuckle scent of her shampoo, throwing off its own signature sparks. As I pulled the length of silky hair through my fingers, the sparks flickered like sparklers against my skin. Sunlight and flowers. It was if I was experiencing them just by touching Sookie's hair.
As we explored each other with our hands, the emotions and sensations swelled gently around and through us. Instinctively, we began to kiss as if the point where our mouths met served as an anchor point against the sensory onslaught.
Synesthesia. Both of us had stopped trying to make sense of it logically; we were just letting the magic flow through us.
Remembering our original intent in getting into the tub, Sookie turned in my arms and as I kissed the back of her neck, she casually turned the handle for the shower.
I had been so intent on what my lips were doing to Sookie's skin that I didn't realize until she called my attention to it: instead of water, a fine spray of snowflakes began to drift down around us. "It's snowing!" Sookie laughed with amazement; snow was so rare in this part of the country that I suspected she could count on the fingers of one hand the times she had seen more than a trace of the white stuff.
And there was definitely more than a trace. I drew back the shower curtain to reveal that what had been the guest bedroom now resembled a snow-covered forest lit by moonlight. In the middle of a clearing stood a naturalistic looking bed made of knotty Scandinavian wood and covered with soft furs.
Sookie giggled beside me. "Why is there a bed?"
The bigger question was why there was a forest and snow in what had been a bedroom, but somehow, those questions didn't seem important at the moment. I dimly recalled that the book about blood bonds I'd browsed my first night with Sookie had mentioned shared mystical experiences as the blóðfesta took hold, but I had only skimmed the entry. I would have to read it more closely at some point.
But right now, I was thinking about naked Sookie standing beside me and a bed covered in fur – a bed large enough to hold both of us comfortably – in front of us.
"I want to make love to you in it," I announced. "Now."
"Mmmm, well, only because it might disappear at any minute…" Sookie said with a teasing grin. "Then you'd have to make love to me in the snow."
"I'd make love to you anywhere," I replied as she giggled and ran towards the bed. I followed behind and together we tumbled onto the pillows and furs. I knew this had to be a vision, but I swore I could smell the snow and the pine trees and feel the thick pelts beneath our naked bodies.
Although my rational mind insisted that our forest bower was an illusion, making love to Sookie in that rustic bed seemed like the most real thing I could or would ever experience. As we brought one another to ecstasy time and again, it felt as if not only our bodies but our very souls had become one.
~*E&S*~
We lay on the bed, both partially covered by the furs although it wasn't noticeably cold.
"It's still snowing," Sookie observed, looking up the blue sky. As we had made love, the moonlight had gradually evolved into sunshine, almost as if the motion of our united bodies had created the stronger light.
I smiled as I felt tiny crystals of snow land on my bare body. "Feels good, doesn't it? When it melts on your skin." I added snow to my mental list of things I loved.
Sookie shifted. "But there aren't any clouds. And I can feel the sun on my face. How is that possible?"
I smiled. "Because anything is possible for us. Together, we're invincible." I turned my body towards her. "Whatever it is that someone else thinks we're supposed to do, supposed to be –" I shook my head. Even if that someone else was me. "—Now that we're together, we can make our own reality. We'll be strong enough." I reached out to trace the curve of Sookie's cheek. The synesthetic sensations had begun to fade and I could only enjoy the singular feeling of my fingertips grazing her soft skin. It seemed very simple after what had gone before, but it was enough.
"I've never felt like this before," Sookie said. "I know vampire blood can make you feel more, sense more, but I never knew it could do this." She turned her head to meet my eyes. "I feel so…good. So peaceful…so loved…And you…" She smiled. "I feel like I can see into the very depths of your soul, Eric Northman. And I like what I see there."
For that moment, it was as if my worries about my past, my choices, who I was, had faded away into nothing. I felt Sookie's love for me and knew she felt mine for her; and now that we were One, we could face anything together.
"I'm glad," I answered, gazing steadily into her hazel eyes. "Because my soul is yours now, Sookie. All. Of. Me." I caressed her lips with my thumb. "I. Am. Yours."
I pulled her into another kiss and began to make love to her again.
~*E&S*~
We had fallen asleep under the fur blankets, Sookie snuggled tightly against me. When I opened my eyes, I saw that our vision had faded – we were lying on the large bed in the downstairs bedroom. The covers were mussed, but we were still on top of them.
The shower was running. Shit.
Although I tried not to wake Sookie when I got up, I felt her come into the bathroom as I was turning the water off. While the sensations were not as intense as they had been during our shared vision, her approach brought with it warmth, joy and great pleasure. I shivered as the swell of emotions rushed over me. So satisfying.
"Eric?"
"The shower was still on," I explained. "No damage to the floor or anything else though," I answered in reply to her sudden unspoken anxiety.
"We never did get cleaned up before walking through that shower curtain into Narnia," Sookie snorted. "Are you up still up for a shower before bed?"
"So long as I get to scrub you clean," I grinned.
"Well, you do have those talented fingers," she said pensively.
I turned the water back and on and pulled her into the shower.
We were both immaculate when we finally went back to bed and slipped together under the crisp sheets of the bed. As we fell asleep together following some doting good night kisses, I felt the new bond settle comfortably within us, wrapping us both in happiness and satisfaction.
~*E&S*~
"Eric Northman, venite ad me. Ego te voco."
Sookie was lying beside me, nuzzled into her pillow, sleeping deeply.
Too deeply.
"Eric Northman, venite ad me. Ego te voco."
The voice was coming from the front porch of our house. I felt my limbs stir and I began to rise, my motions strangely smooth given that I was not in control of them.
"Eric Northman, venite ad me. Ego te voco."
Sookie never moved as I left our bed and I dimly realized that our connection felt uncomfortably heavy and still on her end, as if she were submerged beneath a thick layer of something that smothered her consciousness, leaving her unaware of what was happening to me. I felt a jolt of fear for whatever was being done to her as well as relief that she was evidently not being compelled to follow me into danger, but even those thoughts began to slip away from me as I left the bedroom.
I could smell the stink of the magic in the air as my feet led me down the hallway to the front foyer of the house. I struggled weakly against it, but I was a prisoner in my own body, far more bound by whatever was controlling me than when I had been under silver.
I unlocked the front door and threw it open. The person on the other side hastily drew back, only to come forward again when I stood silent and unmoving on the threshold.
"Fuck! He's naked." Sookie's friend Tara stood under the porch light, a chestnut-haired woman standing half in shadow behind her. Tara had a light-weight silver chain draped around her neck. "Fucking vampires. I do not want his bare-naked ass riding in my car. Can't you make him put some clothes on before we take him?"
The chestnut-haired woman made a motion with her hand. "Vestio! Cito!"
I obeyed. I had no choice. I was still conscious of my actions as I hurriedly dressed, but it was as if I were a mere passenger in my own mind, observing my actions passively. I could feel my hard-won sense of me slipping away as the control of the witch tightened on my body.
As the two women led me to a car and drove me off into the night, I could feel the bond with Sookie stretch out between us, the only lifeline I had to what remained of my own soul.
A/N: Yes, I made up a word, and in Old Norse, too. Blóðfesta ("blood fast" or "blood marriage") is related to the Old English term hand·fast, an archaic term for "A handclasp used to signify a pledge, such as a contract or marriage." Check out the history of "handfast": "From Middle English hondfast, past participle of hondfesten, to betroth, from Old Norse handfesta, to strike a bargain, pledge : hönd, handfesta, to fasten, fix, affirm; see past- in Indo-European roots."
Synesthesia, however, is a real word, not one I made up. It is defined as:"A condition in which one type of stimulation evokes the sensation of another, as when the hearing of a sound produces the visualization of a color."
"Venite ad me. Ego te voco" = "Come to me. I call you." With the help of treewitch703, who knows people who know non-Google Translate Latin!