Hey Mom, I was out for a run. I didn't even know where I was until I looked up and was outside the gates. I see I am not the only one who has dropped by this morning. I guess dad was here. The flowers are beautiful by the way. I know you are curious as to why I'm here on a Wednesday morning and not at work. I finally have a day off and I couldn't just sit there at home all day in my apartment. I know what you're thinking, "This is New York Katie, the city that never sleeps. There are hundreds of things you could do that don't involve being 'trapped' in your lonely apartment". But what fun are those things when I am alone? Everyone that I would want to spend my day off with probably already made plans or are at work. I know, there is one person that would probably drop everything to spend the day with me if I just had the nerve to ask him. That is part of the reason I can't spend the day at home with nothing to do! My thoughts seem to drift to him more and more everyday. Besides, things have been a little awkward betwen us the past couple of days. We shared a "moment" and when we realized what was happening we both pulled away and he made a hasty exit from my apartment.
We had this case where a dog show judge was murdered and his dog, Royal, was left homeless. The guy had no other family and Rick talked me into letting us keep him at the precinct until we found a suitable home for him. Rick and I ended up agreeing to a 'joint custody' arrangement for the night. Castle took him home after work and agreed to drop the dog off later in the evening once I got off work. As, per usual, Rick was late dropping him off and I gave him grief about it. He proceeded to tell me what he and Royal did in my absence. They had eaten, played and relaxed on the couch (both of them) and watched some television. I continued to banter with him about spoiling the dog and making me the "bad guy". He reached out to grab my hand to show me something that the dog found comforting. His gesture was anything but soothing for me. As it turns out, the rubbing sensation of his thumb on the back of my hand sent a rush of heat through my body. We made eye contact at some point. I really couldn't say how long we stood there like that. My heart was racing and all I could hear was the wall around my heart starting to crumble. I vaguely remember saying his name right before we broke apart with him mumbling something like…"you get the idea" and then he was walking out the door telling the dog (not me) "don't miss me". We ended up solving the case the next day but we had to figure out what to do with the dog. Rick and I decided that it wasn't fair to shuttle Royal back and forth so we would let the dog choose who he would live with. Much to my displeasure the dog didn't choose either one of us. He picked the reality star that had been our best suspect at one point in the case. It is hard for me to admit it, but I selfishly wanted that dog to pick me. I would love to have someone or something to come home to every night. Plus, it might give a certain ruggedly handsome writer one more excuse to spend time outside of work with me. I know! I'm pathetic!
Mom, how can a simple touch affect me like that? Did you feel that kind of connection with Daddy? What will I do when we finally end up together? I don't know if I will be able to physically survive it. I'm a mess and we haven't even kissed with the exception of that undercover kiss almost a year ago when we were trying to save Javi & Kevin. Mom, what am I going to do about this? It is getting harder to resist temptation. It takes so much effort to not reach out to him, pull him close and kiss him senseless. I need to tell him how I feel and soon! I wish you were here to tell me what to do. I never thought I would admit it, but you always knew what to say when I needed help with something like this.
I better finish up my run. I am going to call Daddy about catching an early dinner. I'll come by again soon. Love you! Bye Mom.