A/N: Why did it take you so long to write this chapter?

Answer: To be honest I've had this chapter written for the longest while, but being the perfectionist that I am, I didn't enjoy the chapter I wrote. I kept that one as revised and typed up this one instead. Basically I had two Chapter 5's in my Fanfic folder. This Sunday I decided on writing a new story and during my fanfiction writing craze I typed up two new stories, edited this chapter, and posted one of the stories I typed. So I've been a busy typing bee. You should see a chapter six by the end of the week (Saturday) or next week Monday. And that is a promise because I actually have half of that one written already. *scratches head* Kind of typed everything out of order. Hehe..

What part of the Naruto Timeline is this in?

This is my fanfiction and I am not writing this to follow any sort of events in the actually Naruto anime or manga. This is simply just being written for enjoyment. Not for people to say, "She didn't follow the storyline, this story is wrong." No. It's nothing like that. I don't care that Naruto left Konoha for that two year time-skip. In this fanfic it was a shorter time just for the sake of how it's being written.

Any questions you might have, please PM me. Sorry for the extremely long wait.

A loud rumble passed through the streets causing a silver haired Jounin to blush under his mask. Ever since he left the mission's office he had been slowly trudging through town with a small hope of seeing Naruto, or at least anyone around. The reason being was that he was now completely broke, and seeing as he had no money, there was no way for him to eat anything. Naruto would have been a perfect candidate to go and eat ramen with because he knew that he could disappear, without paying the bill, and have Naruto not be too mad at him. Yes he'd be mad nonetheless, but he'd be less angry than say if he did that to Sakura. The kunoichi had a temper on her which he would have loved to avoid, because unnecessary bouts of argument involving his student, especially her, would result in a chakra infused punch to the face.

As he searched for his annoying blonde student, he passed by a bookstore only to find that Jiraiya had published another Icha Icha Paradise volume. This time on the cover Kenma was being chased by a big busted broad that had a little too low cut shirt. Kakashi hissed at the book as if it had burned him, and shoved his hands into his pocket. Of course he would have bought the book without even a second thought, but no change jingled in his pockets, and no money dusted the inside of his wallet. He sighed in defeat and let his head hang as he reluctantly walked away from his life. He seriously needed some money now, but he was on temporary suspension. He wasn't really suspended, but he was more suspended on actual missions as he would now have to drag his ass through genin level missions. If only he wasn't so damned lazy he would have had the report already finished. Kakashi didn't think that Genma was really irked by the fact that his report was two months late, but rather the fact that he could barely read the handwriting on the paper.

Genma had yelled at him to get some writing lessons, which in his mind he really didn't object to because he already accepted the fact that he had bad handwriting, and Kakashi had hightailed it out of there before things got even more heated. Genma was one scary man.

Kakashi recalled a previous incident involving a hot-headed rookie jounin and an irritated Genma. The rookie jounin, Ryo, had handed in an incomplete report that had too many holes for one's liking. Questions upon questions could be made into a pile about this report and Genma, being the unlucky person, had to finish the report himself after having rounded up many eye witnesses to testify as to what had exactly happened on the mission. Let's just say that towards the end the rookie no longer had the drive to be a ninja anymore.

Quickly sidestepping out of the way of a moving cart he shuffled through the bustling streets of Konoha, head down and hands in his pockets. He couldn't ignore the constant rumbling of his stomach and felt as if it was protesting by curling in on itself. An empty stomach shouldn't have been a problem for a jounin like him, but after having not eaten for three days straight, the body eventually starts to protest. He would have preferred to go back to his apartment and drink some tea to soothe his rumbling belly, but knew that it wouldn't have lasted for an hour.

"Kaka-sensei!" It was as if the heaven's had opened and god had walked down the shining steps from his throne unto earth and manifested himself into the blonde-haired knuckled headed ninja. Angels were singing and corpses were turning over in the grave as he turned around to be met with Naruto's smiling face. Restraint held him back as the sudden urge to throw his hands around the poor kid and take him into a bone crushing hug overwhelmed his emaciated body.

"Yo." It came out lazier than expected but served its purpose as Naruto scowled at him.

"How are you Kaka-sensei! I haven't seen you since…" Naruto trailed off and put a finger on his chin. "Actually…I can't remember. " Kakashi would have chuckled, but the sharp pain in his abdomen suddenly shook off that reaction. "So...how are you?"

"I'm fine, and yourself?"

"Great! Iruka-sensei and I were just about to head off to Ichiraku's. Would you like to join us?" A very tempting invitation, but at the sound of Iruka's name his body tensed. Why? He didn't know, but he wasn't really one to be trusting of others he didn't recognize. "Iruka?"

"Yeah. He's been free lately and offered to hang out today."

"I don't want to intrude if he wants to spend time with you—" Naruto cut him off with a sharp look. "You wouldn't be intruding. It'd be fun. Just the three of us."

"I don't know Naruto…"

"Nonsense." Naruto grabbed his wrist and proceeded to drag him over to where Iruka was standing. Kakashi wasn't focused on what was coming out of Naruto's mouth as most of it was extremely irrelevant, but a sudden sense of dread began to fill him. Spending an entire lunch with Iruka didn't sound like any fun to him. He barely knew the man. If he couldn't even stand being around his fellow students, let alone someone he barely knew, who's to say that he would be able to stand Iruka. Naruto didn't exactly give him a say in the matter as he still continued to drag him towards the ramen stand.

The grip wasn't exactly tight, and he knew that he would have easily been able to maneuver his way out of the grip, but somewhere in the back of his head he wanted to be dragged. He wanted to be around people, and wanted to be…normal for once. He couldn't remember the last time he'd truly spent time with someone that was more than an acquaintance. Genma didn't count because Kakashi would never really consider Konoha's number one gossiper, alongside Anko, his true friend. He didn't have many true friends though. He had wanted for the longest while but everyone was just under the impression that he was just a socially awkward human being and was uncomfortable to be around people he wasn't familiar with. His reputation as a citizen of Konoha wasn't that great. As for a ninja he was highly regarded as being very skilled. It wasn't that he chose to be socially awkward. He just was.

Back when he applied for genin students he figured that being around children would loosen himself up a bit. It had worked for the first few months, but then the chuunin exams rolled around and everything just went downhill from there. With Sasuke gaining the cursed mark and having to seal it for him, he could see the hatred and revenge burning underneath his students skin, just waiting to be released.

Sasuke left and he was heartbroken as if it was his own son that had abandoned him. He would never tell anyone that though because he was supposed to be a tool of Konoha. Tools weren't supposed to cry when bad news was heard.

His face was impassive when he heard the news, but later that evening when he returned home he just sat in his living room staring at nothing. The walls were blurry from the build-up of unshed tears pooling at the corner of his eyes, but he refused to shed any of them. He had already cried one time too many and he wasn't about to repeat history by doing it again.

First it was his Father. Then his sensei. Then his teammate, Obito. His first love Rin. And then his student, Sasuke.

No one had inquired about his thoughts on Sasuke. They had merely just assumed that he was void of any type of mourning, and that Sasuke's sudden departure didn't affect him at all.

It did affect him though.

It was like his past was coming back to haunt him again. Those days he had begun to eat less and his jounin uniform hung off of him like there was nothing but skeleton underneath. His mask began to sag as there was no skin to hold it up anymore, and his hair didn't have it's usually luster. Naruto had become concerned and that was when he realized that he was showing too much emotion. He was letting him know that there was something wrong. The panic that had spread through him when Naruto asked him what was wrong was nothing compared to the panic he had when Naruto lifted up his shirt without warning.

It was a sickening sight. His ribs were showing and the skin around his naval was blotchy as if someone had slapped him. He could distinctly remember the expressions that lined Naruto's face as he stared at the discolored skin and painfully obvious ribs that were jutting out, as if they were just trying to escape him.

After that incident he faked everything. He faked being happy, he faked smiling, he faked being himself. Naruto hadn't asked questions after that and he was thankful as his student returned to his usually bubbly self. That sudden moment of panic that Naruto had brought on was enough to give him a kick in the stomach. He couldn't let anyone know what he was going through. He needed to keep it to himself and not let his inner self escape into this perfect 'fake' world he had created.

A hand waving in front of his face brought him from his undesired thoughts causing him to blink numerous times. A concerned face came into focus causing him to scowl beneath his mask.

He was doing it again. He was letting his mask slip and his brick wall to slowly crumble.

"Is everything ok?" Kakashi almost glared at the sympathetic look Iruka was sending his way, but he couldn't blame the chuunin no matter how much he wanted to. It wasn't Iruka's fault he was like this. The man was only trying to look out for him.

But why…?

"I'm fine." He mumbled. The obvious lack of a convincing tone did nothing but make Iruka frown at his response. The stool squeaked as he shifted uncomfortably under the scrutinizing faze. Kakashi felt like a lab rat drowning in a pool of acid as bile rose to his throat. The gaze did nothing but bring on a sudden want to chuck up the tea he previously had. So far this lunch was not at all pleasurable.

Naruto was the one to break the silence.

"So what are you getting Kakashi-sensei?" There was no bubbly tone, no disrespectful nickname that was always said, and certainly no caring at all in that one sentence. Where was the Naruto that was always mouthing off and disrespecting authority? He felt pretty stupid checking over Naruto's chakra signal to make sure it wasn't a doppelganger. The constant ebb of enormous chakra should have been enough to tell him that, yes, it certainly was Naruto sitting next to him, but he couldn't help but search a second time.

"Excuse me?" He said after a few moments of awkward silence.

Naruto didn't repeat himself. His bright cerulean blue eyes that were practically a duplicate of his sensei's, started blankly ahead, examining the menu as if it was a jutsu better than the Rasengan. "I might just have the pork ramen." It was silent as he stared hard at his menu. He wasn't reading the words at all, but was gazing at the pictures that were decorating the sides.

For some strange reason he knew his two companions were doing the same.

It was a long time that they sat there waiting for Teuchi to take their order. Both his daughter and he were busy with a few customers that had entered before them, and were caught up with trying to fill six orders of ramen at once. Kakashi wished that they would hurry up already so he wouldn't have to sit in such an uncomfortable silence anymore.

The tension was constricting, and the air was heavy. Kakashi couldn't help but glance out the corner of his eye at Iruka. The chuunin was sitting still as a doornail, staring straight ahead with what looked like a concentrated expression on his face. What was he thinking about?

It irked him that he couldn't read what he was thinking by his body language. Kakashi was normally good at reading everyone, but why was Iruka the one person he couldn't read. What made him so special? And why did it bother him more than it should have?

"I'm sorry about that." Teuchi huffed while whipping out a notepad from his apron pocket. "I wasn't intending on taking so long with those people, but they were being very difficult and couldn't decide on what they wanted." Naruto waved off the apology with a shake of his head. "It's alright old man."

"So what can I get for you fellows?"

"I'd like beef ramen."

"Pork please?"

Kakashi looked down at the menu once again, not exactly sure if he should get the oriental or the Chicken. There was a less portion of the Chicken ramen as the Oriental seemed to come in the largest size bowl they had. Kakashi wasn't really persuaded by the Oriental Ramen picture so he opted for the chicken instead. "…..I'll just have the Chicken."

Teuchi scribbled down all three requests and left the three men in a hurry.

"How have you been Kakashi-sensei?" There it was again. He said Kakashi sensei instead of Kaka-sensei. Something was definitely strange. "I'm fine. Not enough missions though."

"Oh."

"Are missions not flowing in as much?" How was he supposed to know? He didn't work at the missions desk. Iruka should just ask Genma himself instead of engaging in conversation with him. "I wouldn't know."

The conversation seemed to abrupt immediately. This was the reason why he didn't want to have lunch with Naruto. He would have preferred to have just gone home and read, but as fate would have it he was dragged here instead. It was probably more on a whim than an actually thought out invitation. He couldn't imagine Naruto wanting to hang out with him. Who would want to hang out with someone as boring and unsocial as him?

Naruto thought that he was probably obligated to do this because he was his student. The image of Naruto cringing at the thought of hanging out with his sensei made his heart ache.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to even have left his apartment.

After everyone had finished eating Kakashi quickly mumbled an apology about having to leave before shunshining away. He knew that it wasn't a nice thing to do, but staying any longer than need be would prove to be a wrong move. Kakashi wasn't ready for the onslaught of questions that he knew would come if he decided to stay any longer.

Questions were already forming in his head, and he knew that those were the ones that would be thrown at him.

Is everything okay?

Is there something wrong with you?

Do you need any help?

Why are you so skinny?

Why do you keep to yourself?

Is there a reason why you're so antisocial?

The list could continue, but he didn't want to think about anything. At the moment he just wanted to sleep. Sleep was tugging at his eyes, but he forced them to remain open. The nightmares would come if he slept. Obito's cold dead hands would be reaching for his throat, trying to squeeze the life out of him. The pleading would then begin, and Rin would be punching his stomach yelling at him to do something, to not just stand there and watch their only teammate die. His sensei would be standing off in the corner quietly mumbling about where he went wrong and what he could do to fix this. To fix him.

The floor would be stained with blood, and a body would be lying next to it, eyes wide open as if shocked by an image. Those eyes would follow him everywhere. No matter which corner he turned, that sight would always be there.

But the latest addition to the family would be Sasuke. Kakashi could already see it now. Sasuke's onyx colored eyes would be staring at him with such malice that would make him shiver. "Why. Why didn't you save me? Why didn't you do something? Why didn't you help me?" Sasuke would repeat those words over and over to him, and the voices in his head wouldn't stop. No matter how many times he yelled at them to shut up, or if he covered his ears the noise would still be there. Buzzing next to his ear like a persistent insect would.

Sasuke was like him though. Someone who just wanted to be acknowledged, who wanted a family, who wanted to be loved but couldn't. Kakashi couldn't save him because he couldn't save himself.

He tried…he had really truly tried to help Sasuke. But of course, it was all in vain. Just like Sasuke he was a lost cause. Naruto should just give up on trying to help him while he was still ahead. If he couldn't help himself, what made him think that he could? No one could help him. At this point he was shoulder deep in the murky water and would soon spiral into darkness.

And in truth, he would welcome it with open arms.

E/N: Thank you for taking the time to read this, I appreciate those that comment and favorite this story. It makes me happy to see that people are enjoying it. I hope this chapter gave a more prominent feel to what Kakashi was feeling. I tried to go into detail without giving away too much information. Well...this was partially beta'd but then I got fed up because I was actually watching a Naruto video…so yeah. Just try to ignore the mistakes or weird choice of words. Edited 2/1/12