I have to say that this chapter is the one I have been looking out for the most, haven't you?

Rating: will be M because now it has gotten dirty!

Warning: ... Use of sexual references and toys, maybe some curses, and insanity, but that is the norm!

"meow" speaking, 'meow' thinking, you may find my comments, but I won't be emphasizing them. -meow- text messages, or phone calls... just in case.

12 Disturbing Days of Christmas

"Voldemort", "bottle", "frog", "lipstick", "purple" and "heaven"

It is Thursday, and for some reason, the tennis regulars of certain schools are at the Atobe Manor instead of their respective schools. I wonder why. Of course, Seigaku, Hyotei and Rikkaidai were there. But there were also members of other schools such as Fudomine, St. Rudolph, Yamabuki and Rokkaku. They are all gathered in the ballroom. The lasts to join the party are Atobe, Kabaji, Oishi and Ohtori. Atobe was showing them in. Kabaji was carrying a whiteboard. Oishi was carrying a mannequin of a... quite weird texture and Ohtori came with a big bag full of unknown items.

"This is ore-sama's ballroom. This should be enough for you." he states while he looks at the two mother hens extraordinaire.

"It will do." Says Oishi while looking around. He goes to the far back, where there is a dais and waved Kabaji forward. While Kabaji positioned the whiteboard, he and Ohtori started getting their materials out of the bag. Suddenly the lights went out and a screen started to go down besides the whiteboard. Oishi looked pleased at the screen, good thing he had decided to bring photos and a presentation on today's lessons. As they finished getting things ready, the other players shuffled nervously, looking around the place, some even looked for escape routes. Others in their innocence looked at the on goings questioningly wondering why they were there to start off with.

"Well, we are ready to start" said Oishi excitedly. Everyone looked at him questioningly, that is everyone that didn't hear him before. "We are all here because it has come to my attention that some of us, especially the younger ones" he looked pointedly at Ryoma, "are starting to explore their sexuality." Many of the tennis players looked around but most of them searched for a certain six-some. Yukimura, Fuji and Atobe looked especially pleased with themselves about exploring Ryoma's sexuality, the other three on the other hand looked annoyed.

"So today what I have planned to do with the help of Ohtori here is give you all lessons about a healthy sexual life. We have decided the main points to talk about are the followings." In that instant the screen came to life and showed a presentation with eight points.

The eight sex lessons consist of:

1. Condoms

2. Lube

3. Plugs

4. Toys

5. Positions

6. Places

7. Roleplay-Outfits

8. Partners

Most of the regulars stared at the screen with a mix of horror and amusement. To think that all of this had started because the Mother Hen Extraordinaire had discovered that their baby player was anything but innocent. Of course, he was kind of right, after all, he was the only obvious uke of the six-some, the other ukes were up to debate. After all, who could dominate the sadistic terrors known as Fuji and Yukimura? This being said, many questioned the fact that maybe Echizen was the only uke. Quite a fit being with five coc-people to satisfy.

"So, we will start now. The first point is the condom" he waved at the screen which had changed to show the first point, a picture of a condom and some facts about it. "They are used to protect the males, or well, the dominant and submissive parties from a pregnancy, and diseases. As you may see, there are different colours, flavours and sizes, it depends on the couples, or group of people." Then he continued to spit out facts, and... "And now the practical part of the first point." Most of the men in the room, for there were only men, turned to look at Oishi like he had grown a second head in his groin. "Ohtori bring the mannequin and the condoms" Ohtori did as asked and positioned the mannequin and the bag full of condoms on top of the table, for everyone to see.

"We will show you how it is done, and then some of you will come and do it yourself, regardless of if you are top or bottom." He then grabbed the mannequin, and then everyone could really see it. It had an IT. It had a freaking erection! How in the seven pits of hell had Oishi gotten an elastic mannequin with an erection?! "Now see? You grab the condom and..." he went on while he put the condom on the erection. It was red but because of the stretching (It had a very large erection) the condom turned pink. "So you see, it is very easy to put on, and the off is..." and he took it off. "Now, the first volunteer shall be Echizen."

The men who weren't sighing in relief were staring at the short player as he turned a very appealing (at least to those who could think of that without dying) shade of pink. Almost like the stretched condom. He was pushed forward by Yukimura who just smiled, like always. He started to walk robotically to dais. When he got there Oishi thrust in his hands (1) a dark purple condom, it smelled of grapes. Great. He started fumbling with the package and finally opened it. Then he decided to give his back to the others and worked as fast as he could. He blew on it put it on the tip and started rolling until it was finally set. He waved Oishi over who just nodded.

"Echizen has successfully put on the condom which is good because if he hadn't known how to…." And the threat was left hanging on the air. "..Though it is also bad he knows how to put one on…" Here Oishi looked conflicted with himself. "Anyway, I want... Niou to come here and put one on too"

Niou made his way to the dais and grabbed one of the condoms, all the while smirking at the crowd. He took out the condom and started to unzip his trousers.

"I didn't mean 'put it on you!' I meant on the mannequin!" screamed Oishi while he tried to cover the trickster who had successfully gotten his... royal rod out.

Niou started to zip his pants and then turned to the mannequin, with a bored face on. 'The least who could let me do is give them a show; we are going to die of boredom'. He put it on, and then strode back to his place.

A still flushed Oishi looked around and spotted Fuji smirking evilly. Oh he was so in for it "Fuji! Since you seem to be at ease with all this information, I want you to come and do this too!"

Fuji very calmly went up, got the condom, kneeled in front of the mannequin and started to put it on. With his mouth.

"Oh God!" Oishi covered his eyes and started to poke at Fuji blindly just so he would stop. So poking and blind don't mix. He fell over Fuji and ended up in a tangle of limbs.

Later on…

"Okay, so now that lesson one is….over. We are going to start with lesson two, lube" There was a collective groan around the room. "So the lube is this slippery liquid substance that can be used for many things."

Here Ohtori took it, "Like massages, to put on the condoms"

"And anal sex." Said Oishi in a deadpan. "It can also help with conventional sex, since women sometimes don't lubricate themselves completely"

"When it comes to anal sex, there is a series of steps to be followed."

"Yes, it depends on whether the bottom is a virgin or not. If he is, then you need to lubricate the fingers and insert them on the rectum. The number of fingers used varies from person to person since there are some who have their phallus (2) thicker or longer than others."

"Now in the case that the bottom is not a virgin, the stretching can take less time, especially since it hasn't been too long since the last penetration."

"There is a variety of lubes too. They vary of colour, taste, slipperiness, and thickness since there are some that are more like oil, and other that are like body lotion. Now, we have a variety of lubes here for you to… sample on, so come here, all of you!" Said Oishi a bit excited, this was his favourite part of the lesson.

All of the boys went to the table the lubes were on. There were about… fifteen tubes of lube, each looked different from the last, be it colour or texture, and of course, bottle.

"Ha! Found a Cheese flavoured one!" said Momo excitedly, while Kamio looked at him with disgust. 'Who wants to have cheese anywhere of their nether regions, be it behind or front?'

"Saa, there is no wasabi…" Fuji looked a bit let down. And he so wanted to cover Ryoma with it…. Yum. Besides him Yukimura seemed to be contemplating how it would be…'Ryoma would squirm with that kind of feeling up there… it would look delicious…especially if we have him tied up…' he groaned at the thought and looked at Syuusuke, they were thinking the same.

"I don't think that Echizen would want wasabi anywhere near him Fujiko… BURNING!" Fuji had just stopped Kawamura with his racket.

"I don't think so either!" said Oishi who had just popped out of nowhere, "It would probably irritate him! His poor rectum would be all sore…" seeing as this had no effect on the sadists, "…and he probably wouldn't be able to have sex after it for a long while, not to mention, he wouldn't want to go anywhere near you if you have any form of lube or wasabi at hand."

This seemed to do the trick. Neither of them liked the idea of Ryoma in too much pain, and to wait to have their wicked way with him… it would have to be something they will never try.

After about half an hour Oishi decided that everyone had sampled the lubes, and so it was time to continue with the lesson. "Everyone! It's time to continue with the lesson! As we mentioned before, the lube is for stretching the partner who is going to assume the role of the bottom. This can also be accomplished with plugs. Of course you still need the lube, but the plugs will make it easier to stretch, since it does the same as the fingers."

"We have a selection of butt plugs here; we will describe them and tell you what they are best for. We don't have them all, but the ones we have, are the best at doing certain job .Of course there are others which do the job too, but they are more… Personal if you will, so we will only explain the ones that most people use.(3)" Said Ohtori, while his face was aflame.

The table of the lubes had been moved, and in its place was some kind of glass box with five butt plugs. All of them looked different from the last. There were some that looked really weird, and you had to wonder where the hell those two worrywarts had gotten these items from.

"So to begin with, we have the typical butt plug, its main use, is to stretch the rectum. It can be made of many materials, like stone, jade for example, latex, metal, wood and silicon. The last one is said to be the best since it is easily cleaned. The shape" he grabbed the plug and held it high. "Is the normal one, thin tip, wider middle and a notch so it can't be removed easily." It was purple and shiny. "This one was graciously given to us by Echizen and his…men."

"Next," said Ohtori, "is the one that has a tail." This time the plug that was raised was just like the first but, "This one as you can see has little something different. It has a tail. This is used for those who like role-playing. The tail may be of a fox, bunny, devil, cat, dog, and others which are less common."

"We also have the inflatable butt plug." Said Oishi while he held in his hand a black plug with a string attached to it and a round thing. "As you can see it is, again, the typical plug, but this one has a bulb. The bulb will inflate the plug, which means that it will always be a perfect fit. You can either do this when the plug is out or inside, though when it is inside… it has a better effect."

"Then we have the prostate massager which as the name says, will rub you the right way." Ohtori showed the rest of the guys a silver thing. "As you can see it is curved, so that it is easier to locate the prostate, and instead of a base, it has a hook, so that you yourself, or someone else can move it around."

"And last, but not least, we have the vibrating butt plug. As the name insinuates, it vibrates. It is like the normal plug, but this one vibrates." Oishi breathed and then looked around for the first time since the third lesson started. The faces of the tennis players varied from shock, to utter amusement or glee, in the case of the sadists. Maybe he shouldn't have given them more ideas…

"The last three you could say that are more than plugs, which are in fact toys. You may be right but that is not the matter at hand. With this, we will continue to the toys, and when we finish, you may come here, and examine the samples of plugs and toys."

"Now the toys, are a cock ring, vibrators, dildos, and nipple clamps." Oishi showed them the toy as he mentioned it. Let's start with the cock rings. They are mainly used to keep any male from cumming. It can be made of leather, rubber or silicone. They can also vibrate but that is additional. It is used at the base of the phallus, and it can also be used around the scrotum, or both." He held a small ring of red leather.

"The next one is the nipple clamp. These" He raised a chain with two metallic pins at the end. "It is used to put pressure on the nipples"

"Then we have the dildos, which are like the plugs, but they are the size, and sometimes have the form of a real..." Said Oishi as if what he had just said wasn't disturbing at all. He held high a white, long and thick "penis. This one doesn't really have any special features which other sex toys don't have, so it really isn't important. It is popular none the less."

"Lastly we have a vibrator" Ohtori had in his hands a slick silver tube, that had a thin tip. "You could say that this is a hybrid between the dildo and the butt plug. The difference is that this one vibrates." He switched on the thing, and then left it in the table. As soon as it touched the surface, there started to be a buzzing sound, very loud for such a small thing. And it moved a lot, it even rotated because of how much it vibrated.

"Now that we have finished with this selection of items you may come and look at them, you can't take them, nor use them at this moment. Do respect them, because they were given to us by Niou."

Everyone turned to look at him, and he just smirked. He had an uncle who liked to work with...ah, special items.

Many players looked at the toys with interest, some like Fuji and Yukimura, looked at the plugs, especially the inflatable and the one with a tail. Oh the possibilities… After many minutes of chit chatting, throwing fits, and some attempts at pseudo using the items, Oishi called everyone to attention.

"Our next topic is the position, but we will not get into detail as there are too many of them. We will talk of the general ones, like standing, laying, sitting and kneeling. We can't really go into detail on the positions, but all of them have bad and good things. Some provide power to one or the other of the partners, others are a bit uncomfortable depending on the place, and of course the number of the people involved in the act." He looked at the six some and then continued. "We are going to ask some of you which ones you have performed and your impressions on the positions." He took a breath and called, "Tezuka can you come here please?" All eyes turned to the Seigaku captain and back.

"He sure has guts"

"I would never do that…"

"Especially not to a captain… or any of those six."

"Who do you think is going to kill the other?"

"I bet Oishi takes his head depending on the answer"

"No way! Tezuka will make him run laps!"

All the whispers continued as Tezuka finally moved from his spot near his other five lovers.

"Now Tezuka, which positions have you tried with your partners?"

"…" Tezuka glared and then answered, "All of them"

"With all six of you at once?"

"Yes, but we also split for certain of them"

"…" the hall was in utter amazement, he was actually answering!

"Do you enjoy them?"

"… Yes."

"Thank you. Now will… Shinji, come here please?"

Shinji looked surprise, and walked to the dais, all the while he was muttering.

"Which positions have you tried? And did you like them?"

"You are assuming I have tried more than one of those positions. What if I am a normal person who just likes the laying position? I am not the one that has more than one lover you know. I don't need to be in any other position to accommodate the others. I am normal. Now that I think of it, how did that come to happen? How did Echizen acquire so many lovers? Is it because he is a brat? Do they have a weird fetish? They do by the sounds of many conversations I have heard, but I never thought it would come to this. Maybe they are all just weird. I mean, I heard the two sadists made Echizen wear a cacti costume; I don't even want to think what they got up to. Ha, that sounds kind of pervy. And where did that word come from? Pervy. It is a weird word. But it does describe most of the people in here. Even you, Oishi-san who are so nice to explain all these. I mean where did you get all these information from? Did you research it? Or did you get it from experience. If you have done half of what you have explained so far, then Eiji-san must be very tired. But I think he probably enjoys it. If he didn't he wouldn't be happy all the time. Or is it a mask? But well, I think he really enjoys it. That is if you actually do it. I can't really say. And why is it that I am still here? Oh right you want me to answer your questions. But you did insinuate, you know, I mean what if I am a normal-"

"Shinji!"

"Sorry. I have tried all of them. I have no particular complain of any of them. You just made me ask for forgiveness. But I don't think I should have. I mean you were the one who-"

"Shinji"

"…" While he made his way down, many heard him still muttering to himself. Later when they talked about what they heard, many would wonder how "Voldemort", "bottle", "frog", "lipstick", "purple" and "heaven" had anything to do with each other.

"… Let's move on to the places where one can have a sexual relationship, and places where you don't or shouldn't"

The screen showed four bullets with four specific places. And then changed and showed a picture of a very comfy, very big, very purple bed.

"These four are the most common places to recreate with partners, so we will discuss them. The first is the bed. The most common one. The bed is sturdy and is perfect for many positions. You don't really need balance or strength. And it is better than the floor or a carpet since it isn't so hard and it isn't cold. This bed is perfect for many partners and is in fact the one that is upstairs."

The picture changed and now it showed a desk. It was also very large, but it had many papers. One had a small crest which could be made out if one squinted enough. "The desk is also another common desk. It is harder, literally to work with since it isn't soft and it has to be sturdy enough to support two or more persons. You also need balance to make use of it."

"Next we have the walls." The picture was of the wall of that very ballroom. "This is trickier as you need the best of balances and strength. If there are more than two persons it can become very dangerous, especially if there are more than one person being supported solely by the wall. Be very careful with this one, you may fall and suffocate one of your partners!"

"The last is the shower" the picture showed a very large shower. On the edge of the picture there was towel with the A.K. initials. It was purple towel. "It is just like with the wall but you need a big shower if you want to do sexual acrobatics, and you have to be careful on not slipping. You may break your or your partner's neck!"

"Now" said Ohtori, who had been out of the ball room for a while."We will start with the role playing outfits. We have here the two most popular outfits and two of you will come and give your opinion on them." He touched the computer and soft music started to play. Then he started talking again. "We have the traditional maid outfit that everyone loves. Skirt and all." He gestured to a curtain nearby, and out of it came Kabaji with a maid outfit (4). The outfit was obviously asked for him, since it wasn't tight in any spot. Still, it was one of the most disturbing sights ever. Ohtori made a hand gesture and Kabaji twirled and simpered. That was worst. From the back, there was a flash of light. Those who were not shocked enough by the sight, turned to look and found Fuji with a disturbing smile on his face.

Kabaji left, presumably to change from the outfit. "As you have seen, the maid outfit comes in many sizes and is easily adjusted to your frame. It can be used for any sexual play that the person may enjoy. Now let's hear the opinion of someone in the public. Yanagisawa –san, if you will?"

Yanagisawa was very shocked. From everything, from the weird sight and from being picked. No one ever picked him for anything, except to pick on him. When he was up he started talking, without that filter thing any other normal person does. "That was disturbing dane. It was weird dane. I never want to see something akin to that dane. If it was a cute girl, like Tachibana (5) I wouldn't mind dane."

"… Thanks, maybe someone else could some? Marui-san?"

Marui choked and almost swallowed his gum. He made his way up and…"I think there should be a dress with candy. I mean, think how awesome it would be! It really wouldn't matter who was wearing it, you would want to eat the dress, and when you finished the person would be naked, and you would get horny and the… well, but I think candy is the answer. It is to everything."

"It is that why you got a fail in your history test?" asked Kirihara.

"It is not my fault that the teacher didn't think that every war could be resolved with candy!"

"Well, we are ready for the next outfit! Kabaji?"

"Usu" and out of the curtain with Kabaji. This time he was wearing a white and black Lolita dress (6). He made a small circle and put his hands on his hips and started walking like he was in a catwalk.

"As you can see, Kabaji is sporting a nice green and black number. It is very long and elegant, perfect for nights out and-"

"Ehem" coughed Oishi

"Right. This outfit is good for playing too since it has some strong materials, so it won't rip so easily."

"Comments? Kentarou-san?"

Kentarou from Rokkaku looked up excitedly and bounce/ran to the stage. "Well I think that Echizen would look great in anything! And he probably would be able to play too! Echizen let's have a match!"

"Shut… up" mumbled Ryoma.

"Well let's hear the opinion of someone else. Fuji-san? Senior, I mean."

Fuji walked sedately up, turned and smiled. "I think there should be a wasabi roll outfit." Giant and massive sweat drop. "I mean, to peal each ingredient, until you get to the core… mhm" He eyed Ryoma hungrily who just shrank into himself; maybe if he didn't see him, he wouldn't see him? Those are cat thoughts… (7)

"ANYWAY, let's move to the last part of the lesson. Partners!" said Oishi."Now when it comes to partners, the normal number is one, but there are some who enjoy more than one, two and even three. More than that is an anomaly, but it still occurs." Everyone stared the six some that was dead centre of the room. "While this may be nice, it can be confusing when it some to sex. After all no one can be left out, and when it comes to penetration one or two will succeed in being with the core bottom. So you have to be able to handle these much partners, and you also have to know that it is alright to say 'no'. Everyone in that relationship has to satisfy the rest; anyway they are okay to do it. So be mindful of the partners. So no more than five okay, Echizen?"

"…#%&#$% & ..."

"…"

"I'm going to go to sleep, anyone who gets near me dies."

With that the lesson ended. This is so… twisted.

"This was actually productive, except for the part in which Oishi-san insinuated that I was weird, even though I have done all of the positions, it doesn't mean he can assume. But I don't think that anyone will want to talk about this any time soon. What a shame. And, captain what did that dane guy mean by his comment did you…"

Shinji mumbling fades as the tennis players get out of the Atobe Manor.

On the eighth day of Christmas my friends gave to me eight sex lessons

Seven flavoured condoms

Six embarrassing questions

Five piercing rings

Four orgies books,

Three Lolita dresses

Two butt plugs,

And a hentai magazine with me in it!

(1) Sorry couldn't help myself, Oishi doing that to Ryoma…. Haha.

(2) Phallus means penis if you were wondering.

(3) For those who are curious, the page I gathered information from is this one butt-plugs. /post/15790511294/ types-of-butt-plugs It even has pictures! Just take out the spaces.

(4) the page to see the maid outfit is this one! http: anta /fs2 5/f/2008/073/7/e/i_cosplay_cafe _maid_outfit _by_ Take out the spaces.

(5) Notice how Yanagisawa didn't specify. It either creates problems for him when it comes to Ann or iot will when it come to the actual Tachibana captain. Haha.

(6) .co .uk/images/ Lolita/Green -Gothic-Victorian -Dress-TQL1 2042705 Take out the spaces if you want to see the green and black number!

(7) One of my cats used to hide his face so he wouldn't see us, I really think he thought that. He would always do it when it was obvious he didn't want to be found, but it didn't help the fact that he was fat….

Okay this was probably my longest chapter ever! Even if it sounds bad, don't hope for something so big next time. This was… the best chapter I have written of this I would say. Give me your opinion?

Read and Review!