Conversations

My second day of school was a little better. There were a lot of people that approached; me most of them asked me how I was liking Forks. It all started to get so repetitive that I hardly noticed the people that were asking. I just answered plainly and went on with my work. English wasn't eventful-I didn't speak to Luke and he didn't speak to me. Instead of wallowing in my thoughts of him and of how much I wanted to talk to him, I started to listen to what Ms.G was saying, as she was talking about Mr. Bennett and how his flawed parenting might have caused his daughter Lydia to be so willing to run off with Mr. Wickham. This caught my attention, mainly because Mr. Bennett was one of my favorite characters, so I listened to her for the rest of the hour and then when the bell rang, I grabbed my stuff as fast as I could and walked straight out the door. When I got to the lunch room I was greeted by Eric and Elizabeth who led me to our table. When we got there Eric began the conversation by saying, "Hey Lily? I was wondering if you wanted to go to La Push with me and a couple of friends? The weather is supposed to be really nice!"

And Elizabeth added, "Lily, you should totally go! It's going to be really fun! I'm going, and so is Lisa." That reminded me that I met Lisa Lemon yesterday. She was the volunteer spokes person for my Biology class. She was tall, with light blue eyes like her dad and strawberry blonde hair. She could make me laugh for days just like her dad, and she was very friendly. I couldn't help but get a sense of comfort that both Lisa and Elizabeth would be there. At least if I went I would have some people to talk to, so I said," That sounds like a lot of fun! I'll go!" Once I said that, Eric couldn't stop the great big grin that spread across his face. It made me feel good that I made him so happy by doing such a simple thing. I have a feeling that Eric and I will be good friends. The rest of the lunch hour went pretty fast. I was so preoccupied with what was going on at my lunch table that I hardly noticed that Luke was staring at me again. This whole staring at me thing was starting to creep me out.

After lunch was over I was walking to Biology with Lisa when I heard someone call my name. I turned to see that it was Luke! He was coming up at us pretty fast and asked, "Hey Lily, could I talk to you for a minute?" I looked at Lisa to see if she disapproved, but she just looked at him and then back at me and said, "I just remembered I need to go see Eric about a Spanish assignment that I need notes for, I'll see you later Lily."

At this I gave her a grateful smile and in reply she winked at me and left so that Luke and I could talk alone. I turned to him and said, "Yeah, I got a minute. What's on your mind?"

He smiled shyly and said, "I couldn't help but hear about your plans for the weekend, and I was just wondering if you would rather spend it in a different way?"

" You mean my plans to unpack? Wait what do you mean spend it differently?"

He looked at me with the warmest expression and said, "Well, I was wondering if you would like to... you know, spend it with, um, me!"

I couldn't really believe what I was hearing, so in order to make sure that I wasn't getting the wrong idea, I asked, "Do you mean like... a date?"

Then he flashed a dazzling smile and said, "Well, kinda, yeah!" The excitement in his eyes was overwhelming. His eyes just about made me melt. After being dazed for a good 2 minutes, I collected myself and decided to think about this rationally. Seeing as I don't know him very well, I decided that going on a date with him might not be the best idea. But then my heart screamed at me saying, "Screw Sense! Screw Reason! Just say YES!" Lucky for me, the rational side of me was a little bit stronger than the emotional side, so I calmly said, "I'm sorry... I don't think that would be the best idea, seeing that I've only been going to this school for a total of 2 days and I hardly know you."

As I was saying this, the brightness in his eyes was fading and a full look of disappointment washed over his face. I instantly felt really bad, so I quickly said, "Maybe we could start out as friends first... You know, get to know each other better and see how things turn out." When I was finished saying this all sign of disappointment disappeared from his face, and he said, with his smile returnin , "Yeah... I would like that a lot, actually!"

I smiled and said, "I'm very glad you think so!"

Now, with a sly smile creeping up on his face, he said, "Don't friends do things for one another?"

"Yes, friends do help one another out."

"Well, then, you can't object to me helping you unpack this weekend!"

"Yes I suppose your right... what are you saying exactly, Luke?"

"Well, if it's all right with you, I'm asking if I could go help you this weekend to unpack."

Knowing that I couldn't object to his request, he began to smile widely at his triumph, and so I said, "Well I would like it very much if you would help, but I must warn you that it would be quite boring, and you wouldn't have much fun."

"Oh, no, I'm absolutely sure that I will enjoy myself. After all, I couldn't think of a better way to get to know you!"

I couldn't help but blush at his persistence, and for the first time I looked away from his beautiful face and saw that I was going to be late. I gasped in surprise and looked back at Luke. He look so scared as to what had worried me and asked, "What is it, Lily? What's wrong!"

"I'm going to be late! I'm sorry! Could we talk later I need to go... bye!" I turned away from him and started sprinting down the hall. As I was running I heard a loud chuckle coming from behind me, and then I dashed around a corner and the laughter was out of earshot. I made it to Biology 2 minutes late, but lucky for me Mr. King hadn't come into class yet, so I automatically went to sit next to Lisa and opened my book before he came in.

All through class I was thinking about my conversation with Luke, and then I began to beat myself up about saying no to such a creature. It surely must be a crime to say no to such a beautiful person, but I absolutely couldn't wait to learn more about him. The more I thought about him the more excited I was to spend time with him this weekend. Once class was over Lisa decided that she wanted some answers, and so she began, "So, what did Luke want?"

"He just wanted to ask me out," I said plainly

"And what did you say?" Lisa asked impatiently

"I said no... but only because I don't know him that well, so we decided to be friends instead."

Lisa was shocked. No, she was more than shocked, she was horrified. She couldn't believe that such a hot guy like that would ask a girl like me to go out on a date, but if that wasn't enough to surprise her, the fact that I said "no" was more than reason for her reaction, which was completely understandable. If I was her, I would probably react the exact same way. It was a total 10 minutes before she could say anything, and when she did speak, she only said, " WOW! I sure as hell couldn't say no to him!" She smiled at me and I knew that she was back to normal.

When Lisa left for class I was on my way to gym. I was just about to turn into the gym door when I was stopped by a cold hand on my shoulder. I turned around, expecting Luke, but it was Bella, Luke's sister. It was a great surprise, seeing that she was alone. From what I've seen, she's usually with her foster brother Edward. They seem very close. When I collected myself, I said, " Oh! Bella, do you need anything? Am I in your way?"

She smiled and said, "Oh, no, you're not in my way or anything. I just, um... wanted to ask you something."

"Ask away."

"Well, it's about my brother...Luke. I understand that he asked you out on a date."

" Yes, yes he did."

"And what was your answer?"

"I told him that it wasn't the best thing for us to start dating right now and that we should start out as friends."

"I see. And may I ask why you didn't want to go out with him?"

"Well, I just moved here. I really don't know anything about him, and I don't need a boyfriend right now. The thing I need the most are friends."

"But how? How could you say no to my brother? He such a nice person, do you even realize how much courage he needed to ask you? And yet you still shot him down! How could you do that?" She was fuming.

I was starting to get scared, but at the same time I couldn't believe that she was making so many assumptions about me, that I responded with a little irritation. "Well, that's the point! I don't know if your brother is a good person or not, I don't know what he likes or dislikes! That's the whole point of being friends first! "

"But still, why didn't you accept him... or isn't he good looking enough for you. Is that it?"

Now I was mad. For her to assume such horrible things of me, I couldn't hold back my anger as I said, "That's exactly it! If I ever want a boyfriend, I want our relationship to be about more than looks, I want to love the whole person, I want to love his flaws and his perfections, I want to respect him for his character and not how good looking he is! Oh, believe me, if I didn't have these principles (And sometimes I wish I didn't) I would have said "Yes" in a heart beat, but I do and I can't help it if your opinion of me makes you think of me as such a cold person, I'm sorry If I've made you uneasy, trust me I didn't do it consciously! Now if you will excuse me, I have to get to class." Then I turned away from her and went into the gym.

I have never been so insulted in my life! For someone to think of me in such a way as to say that I was cold or that I didn't think that he was good enough for me! I just couldn't believe it. And why was she so concerned anyway? I was so angry I couldn't handle it. I was lucky that in gym we were playing Volleyball. I don't know what it is about hitting things when your angry that makes you feel better, but It defiantly worked. The feeling of spiking the ball right to the ground was just what I needed to calm down from my disagreement with Ms. Cullen... ugh, I can't even say her name (I'm still a bit angry).

Not wanting to bump into anyone else belonging to the Cullen family, I raced over to Spanish class in a flash. I didn't want to see Bella, I didn't want Alice's stare, and above all things, I really didn't want to see Luke ! I just wouldn't be able to talk to him right now with all this going on, and I new that if I saw him that I might blow up and yell at him, or I might start apologizing for causing him pain when I said no. Either way sounded dreadful, so I made it so that I could just get in and get out before anyone noticed. I was doing pretty good. I went to my spanish class without being seen, and I also got out of class and to my locker with out seeing a single Cullen. But it was impossible to not see them in the parking lot.

There they all were, just standing around their two cars (Both Volvos, one Silver, the other Red.) I could see Bella from where I was standing and she was glaring at me in such a way as to have murderous thoughts. I could also see Alice with the same stare as she always had when she saw me. I also saw Luke. At this point, all of my anger was cast away from him, leaving only the sadness that I had caused him. I couldn't believe that my refusal would cause him that much pain!

I began to cry. I didn't want anyone to see, so I ran to the car where Charlotte was waiting (Thank goodness). I climbed into the passenger side and closed the door quickly behind me. By this time tears were streaming down my face. Charlotte saw them and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head no and kept on sobbing. I couldn't talk to her. Not now, anyway. All I've been doing today is talk, and now I'm just tired. Tired of everything. Tired of having conversations, tired of all of the thoughts that were going through my head about him and how I hurt him. I just couldn't handle it. I just sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. Charlotte was in the car, anxiously waiting to find out why I was so upset, but I couldn't find it in myself to stop-the tears they just kept coming. When my sobs became quiet enough to hear the radio, Charlotte started the car. Every car in the parking lot was gone except for a silver Volvo. When I saw who was inside of it I started crying again, but at a lower volume than before. I didn't talk for the rest of the day. All I did was cry and whimper. I was in no shape to say anything. I had enough conversations for the day.