"Of course not, and I never will," Carolyn said with assurance.
"Never is a very long time Madam. Once you didn't believe in ghosts, remember?" he smiled gently at her, but was entirely unprepared for the challenging look that immediately crossed her face.
"Well, since you want to bring up things I used to believe – shall we talk about the belief that you cannot touch, cannot make contact with living people?" she said, eyes narrowed with a disturbing glint in her expression that made him tempted to disappear.
His eyes widened in confusion, "Contact? Living people?" "Yes, living people! I assume we can count Claymore as one?" "Debatable M'dear. But what prompts this question?" he continued, beginning to understand. "Do you need me to quote? Very well," with that she reached out toward him, "Claymore, take my hand!"
Looking down, quite abashed, he tugged his ear, looking away from her accusing expression. "Ah yes, THAT," he said, eyes darting from place to place, not certain how to proceed. "Go on," Carolyn prompted with disarming calmness. "Yes, well, I wasn't actually aware you had witnessed that moment today," he offered, clearing his throat, "but clearly you noticed that I had, perhaps left out a few details about my ghostly limitations."
"Clearly," she offered, finding herself enjoying the exchange more than she expected. "Don't let me stop you; I'm fascinated to hear these 'new' details."
"It's late," he stalled, "perhaps we should continue this conversation for another day?" "Belay that mister!" Carolyn stood with her best Captainish voice and stance. "It's nearly been a year now that we've been together in this house. You have courted me, wooed me and led me to believe that was all I could expect, all I could hope for from you. Explain yourself."
Seeing his extreme discomfort, she took a breath, and shaking her head she stepped to his side. "I'm sorry. I should have said please, could you explain this to me?" In that quiet moment, he stopped and looked softly into her shining green eyes. "M'dear," he paused, considering his words, "it is not as if the ability to touch would make me suddenly human, suddenly alive again. It's not as if this is the same as human touch," he said. "It is not forbidden, but shall we say deeply discouraged," he paused stretching out his hand, almost able to take her hand in his own. "You have no idea how much I have longed to 'share' this with you." Helping that miserable miser have an opportunity to rethink his priorities in life, well that is, no matter how distasteful to me, something considered right and appropriate. But you . . ." looking directly into her eyes, he let his hand fall away. "The longing, the desire to share even a simple touch with you is something with tremendous consequences. You could be lost. We both could."
Silently she stepped quite close to him, reaching out her hand. "I'm willing to take the risk, show me, please?" Shaking his head, he let every bit of his feelings, his emotion, his love for this woman slip out in a single word, "No." Unable to keeping looking as tears filled her eyes, he turned away, continuing to speak quietly. "There is nothing I would wish for more, but it isn't that simple. It is fully another way of communicating. I would be able to feel you, but I would also sense what you are thinking, or feeling too." "Then does it work both ways?" she asked unaware that she had kept her hand still stretching toward him. "I would be able to experience your sensations as well?"
Nodding he finally turned to face her. "I think I understand," she said softly, trying not to lose herself in his eyes. "We'd be caught up in a closeness we might not be able to stop, to separate?" Sadly, he nodded again. Slapping the wall in frustration, she looked back toward him, "This is so unfair. If it is that serious, that dangerous why wasn't it for Claymore? Wasn't he at risk?" "That mental minnow? Impossible," he grinned sadly, "First the connection isn't there. He is caught up in his own, very small world. It requires someone with an open heart and spirit to catch the full depth and breath of the exchange – the few times it has occurred it has always had consequences. If it were only a risk to myself, there is nothing I would long for more, no experience I would treasure more than being able to have that moment of connection with you, but I cannot, will not put you at risk M'dear."
Eyes shining, she looked up at him, "Very well, for now, but this discussion is not at an end Daniel Gregg. I'll see you tomorrow!" With a final look, eyes still shining with tears, she turned and walked downstairs. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered to her as she left his sight.