A/N Thanks for the reads and reviews! Why do 98 percent of men in Tulsa remind me of Jett Stenson? It's gross.
Pretty much, Twisted Illusions has helped me with every chapter here on out. She comes up with ideas, she talks with me while we're at work or in the middle of the night about what's to happen… It's amazing. Her support is amazing. So give her some love! Thanks Courtney!
James tensed underneath his blankets when he heard a dull thud in the apartment. He had been lying sleepless for nearly 2 hours, and paranoid images ran through his tired mind at why there would be noises so late at night, or rather so early in the morning.
James slowly rose to his feet, his heart thudding in his ears. His head spun when he stood up, but he ignored it and grabbed blindly for a weapon in the darkness near his bedside. He grabbed the first thing his hand clasped around and quietly crept out of the peaceful bedroom, ready to attack whatever intruder found its way inside of his beloved apartment.
He heard a shuffling movement in the living room and he tiptoed into the large room, armed with his weapon. He raised it menacingly and searched the pitch-black room until he saw 2 dark figures near the door.
"Get out of my house!" James screeched, running at the 2 men in hopes of scaring them away.
Logan yelped in confusion and surprise and turned on the foyer lights just in time to see a wild-looking James coming right towards him and Kendall with a rainbow-haired troll doll raised above his head, its brightly-colored triangle-shaped hair pointed right towards them as if it were a knife.
"Dude!" Logan cried, putting his hands up to his face to shield himself from the oncoming impact out of instinct. He squinted at James' weapon, its pudgy, wrinkly features and beady eyes staring at him tauntingly. "Is that a troll doll?"
"Huh?" James asked, lowering his "weapon." "It's just you guys!"
"Of course! Who else would it be?" Logan asked, exasperated. He seemed to be struggling under the weight of Kendall, who was looking ill and leaned against him tiredly.
"I dunno, a robber?" James mumbled. He dropped his embarrassment of a weapon to the floor and felt his cheeks flush red-hot.
Logan eyed James warily, questioning if James was alright with his eyes. The tall boy ignored it and went towards Kendall to help him to the couch.
"You're losing it bro," Kendall said, leaning into the soft orange cushions with relief. His ribs were screaming at him to quit moving.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," James grumbled. He sat next to Kendall and felt his forehead with the back of his hand. "You're still so warm. Are you doing ok?"
Kendall grunted in reply, and James whipped his head towards Logan for a proper answer.
"He's on a lot of medication right now," Logan explained. "But he should be fine now, just really sick. But his breathing shouldn't act up again or anything. He just needs bed rest and medicine and lots of babying." Logan put a taunting emphasis on Kendall's least favorite word, making him mumble an obscenity that they couldn't understand.
James nodded. "I can do that. What does he need now?"
"Sleep," Logan said. "We all do. Get your butt to bed James, I got it from here."
"I'm not tired," James said through clenched teeth. He didn't take his eyes off of Kendall as he stroked his blonde hair off of his sweating forehead. The blonde had already fallen asleep due to the strong pain medication that he was on.
"James…" Logan started.
"I'm going to stay with Kendall just a little while longer. Please?" James voice went from bitter to pleading in one sentence. Logan sighed, too tired to argue.
"Ok, make sure he drinks something and get him in bed," Logan said. "Oh, how's Carlos doing?"
James shrugged. "I guess he's ok."
"You guess?" Logan asked. "Well did he take tonight hard? Is he upset?"
"I don't know, he's asleep, ask him yourself when he wakes up," James said snippily.
Logan studied James for a moment, taken aback. He wanted to snap back at him or at the very least call him out for being rude, but something inside of him made him bite his tongue. He would deal with his mood swings tomorrow.
"Whatever, good night," Logan said dejectedly. James watched sadly as the smaller boy stomped to his room. He hated it when he snapped at one of the younger boys. It was different with Kendall, they got into small arguments here and there but they always understood each other's anger problems and would forgive and forget immediately after they blew out the steam that they were notorious for holding in. But as for Carlos and Logan, it was more or less a rule that you don't yell at them.
James pondered following Logan into his room to apologize, but right as he was about to do so, Kendall let out an anguished moan in his sleep, stopping James in his tracks. He fussed over Kendall in a way that would make the blonde extremely agitated, but since he was half asleep and feeling incredibly sick, he let James stroke his hair and coo to him as if he were a child.
"It's ok Kendall, I'm right here," James whispered.
"I'm cold," Kendall whispered, reaching around for a blanket. James grabbed one from off the back of the couch and laid it over Kendall's tormented body. He then made some hot tea in the kitchen and poured it into a thermos so it would be easier for Kendall to drink.
"Hey man, this will make you feel better," James said, handing the thermos over to the shivering boy. Kendall grasped it gratefully with feeble, shaky fingers and took a sip.
"Ahhh!" He cried out when the hot liquid scorched his tongue. He threw the thermos down and whimpered, causing James to jump in alarm.
"What's wrong?" James asked.
"It's hot," Kendall said when his tongue had cooled off a bit. With a grunt of pain, he leaned forward and grabbed the thermos, this time blowing on it to cool it off before taking another sip.
"Kendall I'm so sorry," James whined, face-palming because he was so frustrated with his actions. Of course the tea would be hot, and he didn't even warn Kendall or cool it down!
"I can't stop screwing up," he muttered, figuring Kendall wouldn't hear that, but he did.
Kendall stared at James, confused. He almost didn't say anything as he was too sick and tired to talk at the moment, but curiosity got the better of him. "Dude, what's the matter?"
James sighed and sat down. "Nothing, just go back to sleep ok?"
"Not 'til you tell me why you are all 'Oh, lo and behold, poor pitiful me' all of a sudden," Kendall said, trying to keep his voice light even though exhaustion was creeping around the edges. When James didn't say anything and just stared at the carpet, Kendall chuckled and patted his back.
"Dude, it was just hot tea. I didn't even think to blow on it first. I'm fine, no big deal."
"Right, it's just tea," James said, but it was more than just the tea. He was messing up everything lately. All starting with the stupid idea that those idiots wanted to be his friend's, his incompetence had been literally ruining his best friend's lives. Now Kendall was sick, Logan was annoyed, and Carlos was upset, not to mention they were all exhausted.
"Good, now go to sleep," Kendall mumbled, too tired to hear the mystery in James' voice. If Kendall hadn't been under the influence of way too much pain medication, he would have heard that James was most definitely hiding something.
James tucked Kendall into the couch and sat beside him. He felt strangely comfortable on the large, soft couch with his best friend. His eyes lulled shut a couple of times, but he would catch it quickly. Finally, he took out his laptop and started playing some annoying, repetitive video game that Carlos liked to play. As soon as he thought of Carlos, James' mind went straight to the Latino. He felt really bad for what had happened just a few hours earlier. He knew he was being unfair and immature. He had to deal this on his own, not bring poor Carlos into the middle.
About an hour passed and James felt as if he was in some sort of a weird trance caused by Kendall's steady snoring and the flashing lights on the screen. It was like he was in a daze, almost asleep yet still awake, and he had to force himself out of it, blinking several times and rubbing his grainy-feeling eyes.
James looked over at the clock and saw it was 4:15 AM. Just a few more hours and the boys would all be up. He reached over and felt Kendall's forehead, relieved to find that though he was still warm, he wasn't burning up anymore. Maybe something was going right, James thought with a sigh. The antibiotics and fever medicine were obviously already doing their jobs. All he wanted was for Kendall's pain to go away. It literally, physically hurt him to see the blonde suffering so much.
"Please get better," James whispered, stroking the bangs off of Kendall's forehead. The brunette laid his head, feeling very tired. He wondered how exactly he would last until morning. It was easier in the morning, because so much was going on with the boys that it kept him awake and alert. But when it was this dark and quiet, it was impossible not to fall asleep. Finally, James felt his eyelids shut for a final time and his mind became distanced. He fought for control but he had none over his own body and mind, he didn't have a choice but to succumb to the darkness.
James was barely fully asleep when the dream started. This time it was different, he wasn't in the coffin. It was his friends who lay in the caskets this time. Kendall, Logan and Carlos were trapped in 3 separate coffins, only they were glass instead of wooden. They were screaming and fighting to get out, but their motions and frantic cries for help were silent, although James could clearly tell they were saying "James!" over and over again. They were calling for him, they knew he was there watching them die, but he could nothing about it as he seemed frozen to the spot. The look of terror and panic etched into their faces as the pounded on the lids had James at desperation's edge. The urge to vomit was intense. He fought against whatever was holding him back, but it wouldn't budge.
And suddenly, he was in his coffin again, the one he seemed to be familiarized with by now. It smelled the same, of rotting wood and blood from his own fingers. The same smell that he had left it in so many weeks ago. It looked the same, felt the same. He had this dream every night for the past month. Yet each night, it was only more terrifying than the last. But usually, he was met with utter silence in his coffin. This time, he could hear the pounding and screaming of his friends calling for him to help them. It was deafening in his ears, almost to the point of painful. He could also hear low, strangled cries as the horrifying claustrophobic feeling washed over him, and he realized that he was the one making the pitiful noises. His cries woke him up, and he coughed to clear his throat, which was scratching from yelling in fear like that.
James' body was shaking violently. His heart was pounding. The nausea he felt in his dream still lingered around and he swallowed thickly, praying that the feeling would past. He was abashed and confused, wondering where he was for a moment before he recollected that he was on the couch with Kendall.
"Oh no," James whispered, glancing over to Kendall to make sure the sick boy hadn't heard his loud fit of terror. Thankfully, his pain medicine still had him snoring. James sighed. That would have been messy had he heard the dream. His relief was short lived, however, when he looked up to see Carlos, who was standing near the kitchen, juice box in hand and fear and betrayal clouding his dark, innocent eyes.
"You said you weren't having the dreams anymore," Carlos whimpered. James was still too frightened from his dream and too groggy to form an answer for the young boy. Carlos threw his juice box onto the floor, where red liquid exploded onto the linoleum, and he ran back to his bed in a fit of heartbreaking cries.
James let out a single sob and put his suddenly pounding head in his hands. Soft crying was heard from Carlos' bedroom. Each tiny sob was like a dagger to James' heart. He couldn't take it anymore. He was still feeling nauseous and a bit claustrophobic from his dream. Even his heart was still pounding.
James stumbled to his feet and dizzily made his way to the balcony, where cool air greeted his flushed face. He made his way to the railing over-looking the pool deck and stared at the blue, wavering water below. His stomach lurched painfully and he doubled over the railing, letting everything he had eaten that day rise back up so it could pour out of him like a volcano into Mr. Bitter's plants.
James clutched the railing and panted miserably, wishing Logan was out here with him. He needed comfort. The shocked brunette had to bite back cries for help when his stomach lurched again. He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable vomit to come up. Tears leaked from his eyes as he threw up again, only this time not quite so violently. When he was sure he was finished, James slumped to concrete balcony with his long, shaky legs curled up under him. The dream was worse than any others he ever had and left him deeply disturbed. Never before had a night terror come up with his friends involved, and it was literally sickening. He could still hear their panicked voices, growing weaker and weaker with the lack of oxygen. He knew that the images would haunt him for a very long time.
"I want my mom," James suddenly whimpered aloud. His own voice startled him, but when he realized that they were true, he curled into a ball and started sobbing, leaving pools of tears on the concrete. He wanted his mom, no- he needed his mom as if he were an infant again. He needed her to rock him and hold him and love on him, he needed to hear her words whispering over and over again that he would be alright and that she would protect him. Only then, when he was safe in her arms, would he feel peace again.
A/N Awe I made myself sad with that. So what did you all think? Please tell me in a review if you liked it or not! I have some pretty intense and angsty things planned for this so stay tuned. Love you all. And once again, thanks Courtney!