A/N I can never be able to express how GRATEFUL I am for all of the reviews, reads and favorites I am receiving! This story means a lot to me and it warms my heart to know it means a lot to all of you, too! Thank you so much for sticking by this crazy thing!

Also, I just wanted to be sure to clarify that underage drinking is something I am very against. It kills me to know that so many kids with so much potential are wasting it by thinking they need to go out and get smashed every night. It's a serious problem. So if any of you ever need to talk to me about things like peer pressure or get advice or talk to me or anything, you can always message me. I'm like a big sister and I want to help, and I never judge. I don't want any of you lovelies to feel like you have to succumb to peer pressure.

Anyway… On with the story!

James could hear voices swarming in the distance, pulling him out of a deep sleep. With every word that was spoken, his head would pound in time with it. The intense ache was what woke him up, or else he would have slept for much longer. His body felt like it was weighted down with hundreds of water balloons, but he still managed to roll over and bury his face in his pillow, away from the blaring sun that was creeping in through his swollen eyelids.

"Ugghh," James groaned out, reluctantly giving up on the sleep he knew was long gone by now. He was so disorientated that it took him a moment to realize he he was in his own room, snug in his full-size sleigh bed. His stomach flip-flopped and his throat felt like sandpaper. The young boy took a deep breath and tried to clear his blurry mind. It was like there was a thick sheet of fog in his mind, hiding any recognition and memory from the past 24 hours.

After several minutes of clutching his pillow while trying to regulate his breathing, James slowly sat up straight. The movement jarred his sensitive stomach, sending it twisting and churning, but he did not throw up, thankfully.

"Oww," the hung over boy whimpered, clutching his head. The sunlight sifting through the closed blinds in his room cast a painful glow across his bed. Each ray of light seemed to burn into the back of his eyes, making his head throb even more. Logan and Carlos could be heard outside of his room in the living area. He couldn't make out what they were speaking about, but their voices were like railroad spikes in his hung over brain.

"What happened last night?" James croaked to himself, leaning back against his pillow as he was too weak to hold himself upright. He blinked his hazel eyes furiously, trying to focus on the spinning ceiling, struggling to recall whatever had happened that left him in such a sickly state.

Suddenly, a sharp pain his lower tummy made James sit up once again. He fumbled with his blankets for a moment and got to his feet, nearly falling over when dizziness and nausea waved over him. James ignored the uncomfortable feeling and hurried to the bathroom so he could pee what seemed like a river. He had never had to go the bathroom so badly in his life. It almost hurt.

When James was finished relieving himself, he stumbled to the sink to wash his hands. He then rested his palms on the white porcelain, leaning heavily against the sink as he tried to regain his composure. Through blurry vision, James looked up to the medicine cabinet mirror. His stomach clenched when he saw his reflection. Instead of a tan, handsome boy he saw a pale, sweaty face. His jawline was slightly purple with a painful bruise that made it sore to open and close his mouth. Now James was really wondering what had happened to him the previous night. He felt horribly sick and it looked as if he had gotten into a fight.

James sucked in a breath and took a few unsteady steps to get to the kitchen. Even though he had an intense headache, he still felt lightheaded. It was an odd, disconnected feeling as he tried to walk down the short hall to the kitchen. His long, shaky arms had to hold on to the walls in hopes of keeping his balance so he could make it to the kitchen table.

But before the brunette could make it to doorway, however, Carlos was there to intercept him and drag him back to his bedroom.

"Ugh Carlos, no sudden movements," James moaned. He snaked an arm around his queasy middle and leaned against his bedroom wall for support.

"Are you crazy dude? If Logan sees you out there, he'll know what's going on!" Carlos exclaimed. James cried out in pain and cringed, removing his hand from his stomach so he could hold his pounding head instead.

"Ah, keep it down Carlos my head is killing me," James groaned. "And I need Logan. I-I think I'm sick."

Carlos blinked at James like he was the stupidest being on the planet. "Just lay back down. I can smell your breath from a mile away and Logan and Kendall will together murder you if they find out what you pulled last night."

James frowned, insulted by Carlos' jab at his bad breath.

"Carlos what happened last night?" James asked, refusing Carlos' attempts to help him back into bed. "I-I don't remember anything. My brain is just a big, painful blur. Did I… Was I abducted by aliens?" James arched an eyebrow in fear.

Carlos's palm met his forehead with a slap, and he shook his head. "James you weren't abducted, you have a hangover!"

James frowned skeptically. "Hmm, yeah, I don't remember getting drunk seeing as I am only 17 years old Carlos!"

"Well apparently you didn't care last night because you pounded back God knows how much alcohol, got in a fight with some dude, and got us kicked out of Lil' Crank-Cranks birthday bash."

"Oh," James said, sitting on his bed.

"That's all you can say is 'oh'?" Carlos asked. James shrugged. He didn't really know what to say. It's not like he was conscious of doing any of that. He never drank a drop of anything at a party before. That just wasn't like him.

"I don't remember anything Carlos," James said. "I just know I don't feel so good."

"No duh," Carlos said as he threw James a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. "Go take a shower and clean up, dude, before Logan starts to worry. I have been covering for you all morning. He's starting to think you're sick or something."

"Ok," James said softly. He was getting the feeling that Carlos was upset at him about something by the way he was acting quite stand-offish. The Latino's eyes were darker than their usual milk chocolate hue, and the way they seemed to shift around nervously to avoid looking him in the eyes made James feel guilty for an action he wasn't even aware of committing.

Carlos left without another word. James hugged his clothes to his chest, feeling as though he was on the brink of tears. Carlos was definitely mad at him for something.

The soft sounds of knuckles rapping on the door made James wince. He just wanted to crawl in a quiet cave for a while until he felt better.

"Who it is?" James called in a raspy voice. He rubbed his sore throat with his fingertips. He felt like he was coming down with the flu rather than recovering from a hangover.

"It's Logan. You alright in there, dude? It's 2 0 clock in the afternoon."

"I'm fine, late night last night. I'm gonna take a shower I'll be out in a few minutes."

There was silence for a moment before Logan worriedly asked, "Are you sure? You don't sound so good."

"Yeah, I'm sure," James said, pinching the bride of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He couldn't hide the annoyance in his voice. As much as he wished he could have Logan take care of him, he really wanted the voices to go away. He needed quiet, before his brain exploded.

After a couple of seconds, James heard Logan's footsteps recede down the hallway, and he went to the boy's shared bathroom and began stripping off his sweaty clothes that he had worn to the party the night before. He turned the shower water on as hot as it could go and stepped under the pulsing, relaxing spray. The brunette stood beneath the scalding water for several long minutes, listening to the steady, quiet stream of water pummel his body and the tile tub flooring while he struggled to remember through a thick haze what had happened last night. Instead of completely coming up completely blank, he now remembered a few parts very vaguely. He recalled the waiter, and how the young blonde had talked him into ordering some really expensive and powerful shots. He remembered feeling exhilarated, like he knew he was doing something wrong and just didn't care. He could even still feel the burn on his throat as he swallowed the toxic liquid without remorse.

The rest was just a haze. He remembered little bits and pieces, such as feeling sick and cold and scared and guilty. He remembered Carlos crying and bleeding.

James felt sick to his stomach, and it wasn't just because of the lasting effects of the alcohol. It was because of what he had done. James was disgusted with himself. How could he do something like that, take Carlos to a club and leave him alone, unprotected? How could he be so immature as to get drunk in front of his youngest, most innocent friend?

James finished up in the shower, anxious to apologize to his best friend, and hopefully hug him and snuggle him until the younger finally caved and forgave him. Carlos was always very easy to beg forgiveness from. He never stayed upset for long.

After brushing his teeth 3 times and spraying cologne over his body, just in case he still smelled like alcohol, James dressed and emerged from the small bathroom, hair still soaking wet and floppy as he made his way to the kitchen.

"James, you look… Wet," Kendall said, not used to seeing his best friend without perfectly blow dried and styled locks.

James grinned despite how sick he felt. Kendall was awake and alert, though still pale, and he was eating a bowl of lucky charms at the table.

"Kendall, you're feeling better?" James asked, walking around the table so he could approach his ill friend. He patted Kendall's shoulder and placed a hand on his forehead, which was still a bit warm.

Kendall shrugged. "A little. At least I can eat though without it hurting too much."

"Did you take your pain medicine?" James asked gently. The thought of his friends in pain, especially because of him, made the brunette feel sick.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kendall said, looking up from his bowl of lucky charms. He studied James with intense green eyes, making the brunette flinch. He hated been meticulously analyzed, something Kendall loved to do to his friends all the time. When Kendall was worried, he could stare at the sick or hurt boy in question unfaltering until they finally broke and under his gaze and spilled everything.

"You stayed out awfully late last night," Kendall said, and his voice had a cocky air to it, as if he knew something…

James gulped and shrugged. "Yeah, crazy party."

"I bet," Kendall said. His green eyes never once blinked, but after a couple more seconds, he finally looked back down to his lucky charms and took a spoonful into his mouth. James raised his eyebrows. That was weird.

"Have you seen Carlos?" James asked. "I need to talk to him."

"He went down to the pool," Kendall said. "I don't know why, it's not exactly warm out. He looked thoughtful though."

"Oh ok," James said distantly. He wondered if maybe Carlos told Kendall what had happened last night. James knew Kendall wouldn't come right out and accuse him for it. That would be something Logan was known for. Kendall, however, liked to torture his friends when they were guilty by pretending to be clueless while still giving little hints and knowing glances until they could not take it anymore.

James left the room quickly. He was pretty sure he could not stand to be around Kendall for one more second in fear of confessing. He walked briskly through the hallway and down the elevators, ignoring his acquaintances who tried to say hi to him.

The sunlight that exploded in James' eyes as soon as he walked outside nearly knocked the brunette on his butt. He groaned and shielded his eyes, trying to walk to the pool with half-closed lids. He blinked a few times, ignoring the skull-numbing pain in his head as he tried to find Carlos. The Latino was seated on the edge of the pool, jeans rolled up to his knees and ankles dipped in the cool water.

"Carlitos?" James asked, sitting next to his younger brother. He folded his legs up beneath him as to not get his shoes wet and touched Carlos' arm when he didn't respond.

"What James?" Carlos asked darkly, eyes fixated on the tiny blue waves of water he created by sloshing his feet around lightly. James sighed and stared at his innocent friend for a moment before blinking and biting his lip. He wasn't really sure what to say. He knew he should apologize. He knew he should gather the younger boy up in his arms and refuse to let go until he accepted the apology. But James didn't do either of those. He regretted the words that burst out of his mouth before he even fully finished the sentence.

"Carlos you didn't tell Kendall, did you?"

Carlos' eyes suddenly shot up from the water at James' selfish question. Hurt clouded his beautiful chocolate irises, but it quickly faded to anger.

"Are you serious right now?" Carlos seethed. "You put me through the most horrifying experience of my life last night, and you're asking me if I tattled on you?"

Carlos waited for an explanation for James' behavior as he watched the brunette cower his shoulders in defense, but when he received none, not even an apology, Carlos felt himself lose it.

"Do you have any idea what you put me through last night, James?" The Latino practically screamed. James darted his eyes around the pool area, grateful that nobody was around to listen in.

"I know," James started, but Carlos cut him off.

"No you don't know, James!" Carlos yelled. "I thought you were dying, man. I have never seen you so sick in my life. The more I think about you lying on the gravel all out of it like you were, the more I feel like throwing up! I want to punch you James, for what you did to me and what you did to yourself. I'm scared for you, man. You're changing." Tears leaked from the corners of Carlos' eyes, but he angrily wiped them away. James could feel his heart breaking. He reached out to console his frightened friend, but Carlos flinched away. He got to his feet and started to walk back to the apartment.

"Oh and to answer your question," Carlos added bitterly, freezing at where he stood halfway between the lobby doors and James, but not turning to look towards the brunette. He couldn't bring himself to look at him right now. "No, I didn't tell Kendall. Does that make you feel better?"

Without another word, Carlos walked into the lobby. James watched him go regretfully, the words stabbing him in the heart like a knife. He wanted to stop him. He wanted to say something, anything, but what could he say? He screwed up big time, and now he was a huge a disappointment in Carlos' eyes. He couldn't take back what he put Carlos through last night, no words could erase time and they certainly wouldn't make it any better.

James shivered in the wind and pulled his knees to his chest, watching the ripples in the water that the chilly breeze created as he mulled over Carlos' words. He really messed up this time. There was no explanation for taking the night as far as he had. He could have ordered something less toxic. Or better yet, not have ordered anything illegal at all. But it's not like James didn't remember why he had done it. It was something Carlos would never be able to understand, because he wasn't suffering like James was. When he had taken that first drink, he finally felt at ease. His pain had faded and he was more alert, happier, just like he used to be. He was fearless again, enough so that he would even challenge a grown man to a fight.

James shuddered, his next thoughts frightening him. Just a while ago, as he showered, he was sure he would never touch a drop of alcohol again in his life. But now, as his headache pounded more intensely and more guilt and fear washed over him, he couldn't help but to crave that feeling of pain-free lightness that he had experienced last night, the feeling only more alcohol could bring him.

A/N What am I doing? I don't even know. Please don't hate me. Tell me what you think in a review and you will make me the happiest munchkin on the planettt. I love you guys! Have a great weekend!