So my goal is to keep this story at 20 chapters with an epilogue, so we're almost there. I know the story started frothy and sexy and then turned dramatic, but I wanted to show how they've both grown and matured enough to be together again. The story will end frothy and sexy though, so stay tuned : )
.
FYI - this chapter is Rated M for smut (yay?). You're safe reading until they are asleep in bed together, which is the last scene.
.
CHAPTER 19
.
Hyde is cooking breakfast in the kitchen while Donna and Jackie look through the university of Chicago course guide on the couch.
.
Holding a phone book-sized course guide, Donna randomly flips through the pages and offers suggestions. "The Tao of Woody Allen?"
.
"No" Her verdict is swift.
.
Flip. "West African Folklore?"
.
"Ugh, pass" she dismisses with a wave of the hand.
.
Flip. Flip. "Modern Physics?"
.
"God no!" she gasps.
.
Flip. "The Birds and the Bees?"
.
Her grimace subsides. "Sounds promising..."
.
"It's just a misleading way of selling Ornithology 101" Donna shrugs apologetically.
.
"Ew. Then no. Birds creep me out" she shivers.
.
Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip. "Intro to Cahokian Land Mounds?"
.
Jackie smirks. "Now you're just making shit up, Donna."
.
"I swear to God it's in here" her friend laughs, pointing to the entry.
.
"Are you guys out there doing MadLibs?" Hyde walks into the living room, moves a chess piece on the board and then goes straight back into the kitchen.
.
Jackie furrows her brow. "No no no you can't do that. There's a time limit buddy!"
.
He pops his head into the living room. "We're playing street chess, doll. Anything goes" he says, a smug grin washing over his face.
.
"What's street chess?" Donna asks.
.
"It's a form of chess that he made up to give himself extra time to think of ways to beat me, which he can't, because I am so much better at it than he is," Jackie gloats.
.
"Well, it's better than strip chess, which was your dumbest idea ever!" he shouts from the kitchen.
.
She leans over to confide in Donna "I thought it would be sexy, but it took like three hours to get naked and by the time we were done getting undressed, we just ended up rolling over and going to sleep."
.
Hyde screams from the kitchen "Are you eating, Big D?"
.
"I can't-I have to get back for a cake tasting, then Eric and I have tickets to a Packers game. I know, I'm a rock star and you're jealous" she preens, rubbing it in.
.
"Get bent!" he yells back.
.
Donna looks around the apartment and notices Hyde's jacket on one of Jackie's dress forms and several pairs of his shoes on the shoe rack by the front door. "Hey Jackie, tell me something. Are you and Hyde living together?"
.
"What? No, of course not!" she responds, taken aback.
.
Donna narrows her eyes and turns sideways to look at her friend directly. "He has a key though, right?"
.
"Just so he can let himself in when I'm not home." she explains.
.
"And he keeps his stuff here?" she asks.
.
"A little. I gave him a few drawers, about a third of my closet and his own shelf in the bathroom." she reports. "What? He needs to have a change of clothes, Donna. I don't get get turned on by vagrants." she crinkles her nose at the thought.
.
A broad smile creeps across the blonde's face "When's the last time he slept in his own bed?"
.
Jackie thinks long and hard until look of realization overtakes her striking features. "Oh my God, we are living together!" she shrieks with eyes wide.
.
"Aww, you loooove him." Donna laughs, making kissing sounds.
.
Jackie stands up and calls to the kitchen "Baby!".
.
"Yeah?" he answers.
.
"The giant just pointed out something interesting to me. Apparently, you and I are living together!" she exclaims.
.
He pops his head into the room with a bemused expression "That's not what you thought we were doing here?" he motions between the two of them quizzically.
.
"No. No, I was unaware that this was happening, actually." she answers honestly.
.
Hyde wipes his hands on his apron and kneels down to Jackie's level."Well, do you want to? Live together?" he asks, brandishing his most charming grin.
.
Jackie taps her finger on her chin and pretends to be unsure "What would it be like?"
.
"Pretty much exactly this, but I'd be paying for half the rent." he says, comically underselling it.
.
She thinks for a minute then smiles. "Sold!" She kisses him wildly, much to her friend's chagrin.
.
"You guys are nauseating." Donna gags.
.
He smirks. "I'll just 'move my stuff in' then?" he says, using air quotes.
.
"Well, how does it feel to be officially living with him?" Donna asks.
.
"Much like it did before, just with a little more self-awareness." she jokes at her own expense.
.
"Guess this makes your whole college move more complicated, eh?" she wonders. "You think he'll keep this place when you leave?"
.
"I, um, I don't know. We just moved in together 30 seconds ago." she stammers.
.
Donna gives her a knowing look. "I think you're in denial".
.
"Shut up, will you?" Jackie yells. "Why do you always have to go pointing stuff out?"
.
She leans in and lowers her voice for privacy. "Jackie, seriously, you're leaving in two months for school. What are you going to do about Hyde?" she motions towards the kitchen.
.
"I haven't thought that far ahead." Jackie says, brushing off her question.
.
"It's not that far ahead" she mumbles.
.
"Donna, I'll be fine. I'm not planning on breaking up with him just because I go off to college." she insists, more for her own benefit than for Donna's.
.
"You're going to do a long distance relationship? With HYDE?" she asks skeptically.
.
"Why not?" Jackie answers defiantly.
.
Donna gently confronts her little friend. "He practically gets jealous when Mr. Forman hugs you for too long, how is he going to handle you being several hours away with God knows who? What will you do when he misinterprets one of your late night study sessions as a date and revenge screws a flight attendant?" she challenges.
.
Jackie's stomach drops. "I hadn't thought about that".
.
Hyde struts into the living room with a full plate of food, sits on the couch next to Jackie and feeds her a bite of his bacon. "Good?"
.
"Mmm" she nods.
.
"You want to share my breakfast?" he offers.
.
"No. I want to keep it all." she says, pulling the plate from his hands.
.
"You're lucky you're cute." he warns before kissing her and retreating to the kitchen to get another plate of food for himself.
.
"Who was that?" Donna asks, shocked by Hyde's mild and considerate behavior.
.
"That guy? Oh, we just live together" Jackie shrugs.
.
.
That night in bed, Jackie can't sleep. In her head, she keeps hearing Donna's stern warning about Steven's irrational jealousy and vengeful screws. She knows all of this is probably true and that people don't drastically change—Steven himself told her that numerous times—but she can't help but feel that he has. Or hope, at least. Or maybe this was all lying there beneath the surface, just waiting to be excavated by the right woman?
.
She flips over and looks at his face. She's loved this particular face for so long, she can't even imagine having to replace it with another. What other man would have Steven's soulful blue eyes or impish grin? Who else could have a cleft so adorable or his wild, curly mop? She wouldn't know how to love another face, because her heart is full with love for this one.
.
Tempted to touch him, Jackie gently strokes the side of his strong jaw with the tips of her fingers.
.
His eyes flutter open and a sleepy smile expands across his features.
.
"I can't sleep." she pouts.
.
He pulls her closer and yawns. "Are you going to keep me up yapping about this or are you trying to hump me?"
.
She sighs. "The first one."
.
He groans.
.
"But if you listen, I'll promise to the second one afterwards." she says as she grabs his butt with both hands.
.
He deliberates for a moment. "Fine."
.
"Donna was asking me what we were going to do when I have to leave for college" she says quietly.
.
Hyde sighs and lets his eyes roll back into his head. He knew this conversation was coming, and he knew they had to have it, but he was hoping that if they put it off long enough it the problem would miraculously go away on it's own. He wants her to stay, but of course he has no right to ask that of her, not after the last time.
.
"Uh...what'd you tell her?" he wonders.
.
"I told her I thought we'd try to stay together." she ventures, hoping to God he feels the same way.
.
He breathes an internal sigh of relief. Even though he knows she loves him, there was still a small part of him that worried she might just be passing time with him or worse, trying to achieve some sort of closure by getting him out of her system once and for all. To know she still wants him, even with having college as a legitimate 'out' clause, warms his 'poor orphan boy' heart—as Forman likes to call it.
.
"Steven-" she clears her throat, starting to get nervous from his lack of response. "What do you think?"
.
He looks at her open, mismatched eyes, searching for hope and meaning in his, and for the first time ever he doesn't feel uncomfortable letting her in. Hell, he actually wants her to figure it all out just by looking at him, because it means he doesn't have to come up with the right words to say. He may be a wordsmith who can think on his feet when it comes to cutting someone down with a well-crafted burn, but he also has an uncanny knack of saying the absolute worst things at the worst time where Jackie is concerned. He's still kicking himself for telling her to 'Have a good trip' when he wanted desperately just to say the word 'stay'.
.
Hyde wills himself to be honest with her and struggles to turn off his inner critic. He needs to force himself to do the exact opposite of everything he did before, because what he did before broke them both. "Whatever it takes, I uh...I want to be with you" he says, breathing a huge sigh of relief. That wasn't as hard as he thought it was going to be.
.
Jackie's eyes smile before it even reaches her mouth. He wants her. She didn't have to ask twice and he didn't answer with 'I don't know' or 'whatever' or the dreaded 'Have a good trip'.
.
"What does that mean?" she asks him, still holding his gaze.
.
"I, um, I don't know" he responds, but then nervously adds "that wasn't me blowing you off, because I really don't know."
.
She wraps her arms around his neck and runs her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. "I really don't know either" she smiles "and it's okay."
.
For some reason, hearing her say this makes him feel pained and empty inside. For his entire life up until this point, he's shunned responsibility and commitment. He hasn't wanted it, and except for when he was with Jackie, it hasn't really wanted much to do with him either. But after hearing the uncertainty in her voice about their future together, he feels like he's just received a crushing blow. Irony is a harsh mistress.
.
Noticing the discomforting expression on his face, she leans her forehead against his. "What do you want to do?" she asks quietly, almost afraid of the answer she may receive. She's not making any demands this time, but she thinks she at least deserves to know what he expects from her.
.
"Honestly?" he says, his breath shaking as he struggles to overcome the dull ache throbbing through his system. "I want...don't leave me."
.
His words tug sharply at her heart, as she knows how difficult they must have been for him to say, but she wasn't lying when she told him the old offer wasn't on the table anymore. She made that mistake too many times in the past, putting his needs before her own, and now realizes that by doing this she became a different woman, not the woman he fell in love with. Funny how the desperation to hang onto somebody you love can become the very thing that drives them away.
.
Tears fill her eyes as she knows she can't tell him the words he wants to hear. She wonders for a moment if he felt the same way when she demanded something similar from him those many months ago. Was he really as indifferent as he let on, or didn't he not know how to express the ambiguous feelings he had churning inside? Either way, she isn't going to make the same mistake he did. She may not be able to say what he wants to hear, but she can show him how much he is loved. Maybe that will be enough for now.
.
"Let's just-forget I said something" he suggests, trying to gloss over his embarrassment. She didn't answer right away, so the answer is obviously no, right? She should know instantly if she wants to be with him, it shouldn't require deliberation on her part. After all that they've meant and all that they still mean now to each other, she should know if she wants to be with him at this point.
.
"I don't want to forget it, baby. I like that you want me to stay. Actually, I love it. And I love you." she proclaims through her tears, "but I have to do this for myself."
.
"Yeah, I get it. 'I choose me'," he balks, rolling his eyes. "You always choose you." he erupts with a hint of venom. He tries to look at her with a mixture of indifference and irritation, but he doesn't have the heart to muster it. He can feel his control slipping away from him and he doesn't know how to stop himself from ruining everything they've built together over the past few months. He always thought that he and Jackie always fell apart in a clutch for some reason, and now he is acutely aware that the 'reason' they fell apart in the past was him.
.
Jackie's eyes grow wide as fear grips her. She can't lose him like this again, but she can't just give into whatever his demands are like she always used to. "Don't do that" she snaps. "I'm not letting you pull that crap this time," she says firmly. "I know you're hurt and that you wanted me to fall into your arms and promise to stay in Point Place with you forever, but I can't do it. It has absolutely nothing to do with how I feel about you. There's nobody in this world I would give up college for at this point, and if you love me as much as I love you, you'll want me to have this," she continues, "and you'll do whatever it takes to keep me here." she whispers, pressing her small hand over his heart.
.
He nods as he starts to take down the straps on her tank top. She watches him curiously, as he slowly pulls the material down to her waist, exposing her breasts to the cold night air and his warm gaze. He gingerly places his hand over her heart, sending goosebumps exploding all over her body.
.
"Just tell me what I have to do to stay here." he pleads, his eyes unable to meet hers. This is uncharted waters for him, and he's beyond petrified he's going to screw everything up with them like he always does.
.
"Just be patient and love me." she says, smiling at his sudden bashfulness.
.
He looks up into her face with piercing blue eyes "I do love you, Jackie and I'll work on the other thing".
.
With that, he roughly pulls her in for a searing kiss. His need for her is raw and he frantically devours any part of her he can touch. She lifts his shirt over his head, tearing at it with such ferity that she scratches the skin on his back.
.
"I'm sorry." she breathes running her hand over his tiny cuts.
.
"Shut up, Jackie" he says playfully as he leans his body into hers hard, nearly robbing her lungs of all their oxygen.
.
He yanks her pajama pants down and makes quick work of her undergarments, leaving her totally exposed, waiting for him eagerly on the bed. He climbs over her and stands next to the bed, hungrily eyeing the curves of her body in the moonlight.
.
Out of breath, she reaches out for him but he's too far. He grabs her thighs and pulls her sharply towards him.
.
"Take your pants off" she demands.
.
"You take them off" he orders with a smirk.
.
"Why are you making me work so hard to get you naked?" she grumbles adorably as she slowly eases his boxer shorts down, freeing his erection from it's fabric cage.
.
He leans over and kisses her like a sailor on leave, knowing that every moment they have left together is borrowed time, then pushes her back onto the bed, lowers himself to his knees and places a kiss on his favorite body part.
.
She moans upon contact. "Oh God" she hums as she bucks her hips forward to meet his talented mouth. Jackie's thighs close around his head like a cocoon and he slides his hands underneath her ass to lift her higher. Her hands fall into his curls and she allows herself let go, giving him permission to take her on the exquisite journey of his choosing.
.
She gasps loudly and her breathing becomes labored as he works her into a frenzy with his mouth. Just as she feels her release beginning to rise in her core he pulls away, leaving her cold and aching for more.
.
"What the hell?" she asks angrily, bleary-eyed from want as she sees him stand up and position himself in-between her legs.
.
Without a word, he pulls her thighs towards him and savagely thrusts into her, bringing himself deeper with each pump.
.
"Jesus Christ!" she calls out, not knowing where to put her limbs as they scramble for purchase. He pulls her ankles up around his ears and then crosses them over his chest, creating a tighter barrier to entry. Already on the edge, he slams into her, pushing her over the cliff almost immediately with a throaty moan.
.
As her muscles clench hard around him, he closes his eyes and tries to remember every detail about this feeling. Her eyes are soft and closed, mouth slightly parted as if waiting to say something important, her body slick with sweat and essence as her body becomes rigid.
.
He commits it to memory, like a snapshot, because even with all the other times they've been together, the one thing that always tortured him most during her extended absence from his life was that he couldn't remember the details. He knew she was beautiful and that she felt warm and tasted sweet, but the actual details—the angle of her pelvis as he took her, the erotic dance her breasts performed each time he impaled her hard, the way she always grabbed handfuls of the bed sheets while she climaxed—those things were all a blur.
.
Now she's writhing underneath him and they're fresh as rain, and he feels he needs to catalog it all, because he knows he won't be able to bear her leaving him again without having them burned into his memory this time. And he's damn sure she'll leave him, because honestly, why wouldn't she when everybody else has?
.
Jackie whimpers and closes her legs tightly around his waist as Hyde empties himself into her and collapses on top of her. "I sure am glad I moved in, baby" he exhales into her neck.
.
Out of breath and dizzy from lust, she holds her lover's head to her chest and strokes his hair. "Can you hear my heart beating?" she asks with a wry smile. "You live there too".
.
A/N – One more chapter to go and probably an epilogue, so this is wrapping up! What did you think of this chapter? Let me know by reviewing it!