Chapter 1: Life of Sorrow

I woke up with a terrible feeling. My body is all hot and sweaty. Oh, please tell me it's not 6 am already. I checked my clock.

6:05 am. Great.

I stood up from my bed and went straight ahead to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. In front of me is a fair skinned girl, has auburn red hair and brown eyes with slightly visible eye bags forming underneath. Tired and broken.

"I am a mess." I muttered to myself.

Lately, I have been getting these strange dreams over and over again.

But before I could start, I'm Amethyst Jones but people call me Ame. That's pronounced just like the name, "Amy". I'm 15 years old. Just to let you know. You could probably tell that the start of my day is pretty rough.

After brushing my teeth, I started to strip my clothes off and jump inside the shower. I left the cool water to run down my skin as I stood here thinking. I thought of all the things that would happen today or at least, what I wish would happen.

It took me a few minutes to realize that I just stood there staring at nothing and decided to start scrubbing my whole body. I turned the shower off and started scrubbing the back of my neck moving towards my back.

"Ouch!" I yelled as I felt a sharp pain somewhere in my back. Trying to feel what caused the pain, I reached to touch the area around my upper back. Then I felt something. It felt like a bump, a slightly small round bump that releases a sharp pain whenever I touch it.

I rinsed as fast as I could and got off the shower to look at myself in the mirror. As I turned to check, I noticed a small red bump. I tried to touch it once again. It had that painful yet itchy feeling.

What the heck is this?

"Oh well, probably just a little pimple. No need to panic." I told myself and began to put on my favorite Nirvana band shirt to pair up with my black stockings underneath some ripped black shorts and Doc Martens. I started to dry my hair and styled it in to a fishtail braid like I would normally do.

I started putting on a little bit of make-up then w ent ahead downstairs to the dining room only to see my family and some food on the table.

"Oh, good! You're awake! Hurry up and eat your breakfast. I haven't got all morning." My mom told me.

"Good morning." Annabelle, my sister, smiled as she greeted. Annabelle is just a few months younger than me.

"Good morning." I said as I forced a smile. I knew that there was nothing good about this morning after I discovered a bump on my back.

I sat down on the chair and began to eat my breakfast.

"Clean up the table after we're all done, will you?" mom told me.

"What? But I'm a little late. My bus is coming within 15 minutes." I complained.

"Well, then you should have thought of that earlier! Be a little more productive and useful in this family, will you, Ame? Be thankful that we accepted you in this family after your mother left you to us."

You see, my mom is not really my real mom. She and my dad are my foster parents which mean that they adopted me. That makes Annabelle my foster sister. My parents said I was about 9 months old when my real parents left me. I tried asking them why but all they knew was that one day in the middle of the night, they heard a loud knock on their door. When they opened it, all they found was me as a baby inside a basket. Attached to it was a note that said,

My name is Amethyst. I was born on the 18th of December 1996. Please take good care of me.

That's it. Knowing that made me feel like a stuff toy being given away and until this very day, I am left with no answers. Just foster parents who don't really bother to really care about me.

My dad entered the room and sat across me on his chair then proceeded to read the daily news whilst drinking coffee as usual.

"Morning, Ame." My father said.

"Morning, dad." I replied back without looking at his face. Talking to him makes me feel so uneasy.

He cleared his throat and said, "Ame, I talked to your teacher, Mrs. Wellington, this morning. We've been talking about your performance in school. She's saying you've been getting low grades on your Math class!"

"It was just a B, dad. Mrs. Wellington is exaggerating a little bit. I'm doing my best." I said, my voice slightly shaky. My dad muttered something under his breath. I knew it was something awful.

"Well, your best is not enough! Strive harder!" he yelled. There was a little tension inside the room and everything suddenly became silent. As if the world just slowed down to see or hear about this commotion. Dad suddenly calmed down and sat back on his chair. "All I'm saying is that you should stop doing foolish things. All those stupid painting, stories and music you do and look up to. For Pete's sake, look at the way you dress!"

"It's not stupid dad, I-"

"Be like Annabelle here, she's a straight A student and an MVP volleyball player. Why can't you be more like her?"

Those words stabbed me deeper than a knife stabbed into a heart. Of course they'd compare me to Annabelle like they always do. I've seen it coming. She's their real daughter! She's prettier, smarter, much more popular and so close to perfect. I'm just a girl who's forcing herself to fit within this family. But everyone knows I'll never be able to do that.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry is not enough, Amethyst." My dad sighed and rubbed his temples, an obvious sign of disappointment. I'm a disappointment. "Just… don't do anything that would be a disgrace to this family, okay? I've got an image and that image includes this family."

He drank his coffee and left the house. Mom left too, a few minutes after dad.

Annabelle knew how down I felt about those words that mom and dad told me so she knew she had to comfort me.

"Don't take mom and dad's words seriously. They're just too tired because of work so don't feel down, okay? Try to understand." She said with her voice naturally soothing.

"But until when, Anna? When and why? Why do they have to take it all out on me?" I told her, my voice almost yelling.

"Ame-"

"You just don't understand! You don't know what it feels like to be a disappointment. You're too perfect. Of course they love you. You're their real daughter!"

That was it. I felt like a volcano that just exploded.

"I'm sorry that you felt that way. I should have defended you and stuck by your side when they told you those things."

I just felt bad for what I did. Annabelle has never done anything to me and yet I just threw words at her just like how mom and dad throw words at me.

I shook my head. "No, Anna, there's nothing that you should be sorry about. You've never done anything wrong. You're right. I should really try to understand them as much as I could. I'm sorry." I said as I came nearer to hug her.

She smiled once again to show that she accepted my apology. "It's okay. We're a little late. Let's go and catch the bus." She said.

"Nah, you go ahead. I'm still going to clean this stuff up." I gestured to the dining table.

"You sure? The bus is leaving soon."

"Yeah, I'll just ride my bike to school."

"Okay, see you later. Bye." She waved and left.

Now, I'm all literally alone. Just like how I am inside.