A/N hello again! I'm back with another update. To answer a question posed to me in a review about why JJ didn't just call Emily, and instead had to notify Garcia, umm… in short, it was a bit of a technical oversight on my part. Number one, I have no knowledge whatsoever when it comes to hacking, or tracking someone's cell phone, (besides what's shown on Criminal Minds) so I'm no expert in that area, plus I enjoy the dynamics of including other characters, and I try to include other members of the team if at all possible. Plus, I guess in JJ's mindset, she's freaking out, panicking, people make oversights while they're panicking, and so both she and I made an oversight on that one. And as to Penelope just getting more worried, well she's the All-Knowing Goddess of Technology! She'll find out Emily's alright one way or the other (or she'll just call back in the time lag between last chapter and this one). And yes, JJ will let Emily know Henry's living there eventually (though I'll probably have Garcia and the others babysitting for the time being, JJ doesn't need the extra person to care for, I'd love to have Reid babysit, see what comes of that! =D ) Where reviews are concerned, keep 'em coming please! Okay, now back to the story!

-Nightshade

What a Difference a Day Makes

Chapter Thirteen (triskaidekaphobics beware!)

Hotch had called me in on another emergency, apparently my replacement has been causing havoc around the office with his inexperience. This time, instead of leaving Emily at home, which didn't work out so well last time, I was bringing her with me. I figured that getting her out of the house was a good thing, and seeing all her friends and her workspace would hopefully cheer her up. She couldn't stop talking about how excited she was to be back, and I couldn't stop clarifying that she wasn't back yet, she's visiting. She almost seemed happy as she got ready, and I hoped that this was going to help her recover from her trauma. She was literally buzzing with excitement as we entered the bullpen area, surveying her old workspace. Hotch greeted us at the door, giving Emily a suspicious look before turning to me.

"JJ, can you come with me to your office, there's some things I'd like to discuss with you on the recent cases." I gave Emily an unsure glance, and without me even having to say anything, she knew.

"I'll be over there with Morgan and Reid, I'll be fine." She gestured to where our friends sat clustered around Reid's desk, probably doing his science magic tricks again. I followed Hotch to my office where he promptly closed the door and the blinds.

"Emily's not supposed to be back at work yet." He stated authoritatively.

"I know sir, I just hoped that bringing her in here would lift her spirits a bit, make her feel better." He gave me a brief nod to show he was satisfied with my answer before handing me a pile of files. He outlined the simple job that my replacement had apparently screwed up, before leaving me to my own devices. Four hours had passed, and I was seriously considering beating myself in the head with my paperweight to try and numb some of the pain of thinking. I loved the job, but being called in for the silliest of tasks when I wasn't used to all the work, wasn't fun at all. Of course, after undoing the mess of files and calling six police officers in different states to apologize for the holdup, I had to teach the replacement, a twitchy young man, exactly what he had done wrong and how not to do it again. I walked out of the office nursing a headache and desperate for some coffee. At least Emily seemed to be enjoying herself as her laughter echoed through the open corridors of the BAU. After two Advil I went over to meet her, where Morgan was telling some story in which Spence was reciting facts until an unsub begged to be arrested. I was pretty sure he exaggerated most of it, but it made Emily happy, that's what matters. I was just about to tell her we could go, when it happened. In an ordinary day, no one there would have paid any attention to it. A file slipped off a nearby desk, sending the contents flying across the floor. Photos, graphic photos of a recent case, victims burned alive, were strewn around the place in all their full-color glory. No one took much notice, and I wouldn't notice either if it wasn't for the hand that had gripped my arm so tightly I thought it could break bones. Emily's eyes were glazed over, and she was as stiff as a wooden plank. She was trembling, and I could tell it was taking every bit of resolve in her body not to drop to the floor and shield her head from her flashbacks. Morgan and Spence had taken notice, and I could tell other people in the bullpen were slowing down and taking notice. The last thing I wanted Emily to be was a human traffic accident with everyone stopping to look at the wreckage. As discreetly as possible, I guided her to the nearest supply closet, trying to stop people from noticing the tears welling up in her eyes. As soon as I shut the door her legs gave out, collapsing into a heap of panic and shame. She had been trying so hard to keep her resolve, and a part of me was proud of her for that small step forward in progress. I stroked her hair and comforted her, like I had done many times before.

"I'm proud of you Em." I whispered in her ear, to which she suddenly sat up.

"Proud? Why on earth would you be proud of me? I'm on my knees in a laundry closet because of a couple pictures!" she hissed irritably, and I hoped she'd keep it down for her own sake.

"You held it together out there, it's a step forward." She wiped at her eyes furiously, trying to clean herself up.

"Is that all I'm in for? That someday I'll be able to look at a picture of a dead kid and not break down? That I'll be able to walk with the aid of only one crutch? That I'll be able to sleep through about half the nights without nightmares? That I'll stop panicking at the smell of burnt toast? If that's all I can look forward to in my life, then why is it even worth living?" she yelled, before bolting out the door, leaving me curled up on the floor among the mops and buckets used by the custodial staff. My mind was still stuck on her last question. She didn't just say that, she couldn't actually mean it. She isn't actually wishing that she died is she? The mere thought of Emily dead was causing me to hyperventilate, and black spots swam in my vision teasingly, so much so that I could barely tell whom it was that had just entered the cleaning closet.

"Spence?" I gasped out, and he sat down beside me. "What, aren't you supposed to give me a paper bag or something?" I rasped.

"Actually, paper bag rebreathing is not advised for people who are hyperventilating. When someone's hyperventilating their blood chemistry changes towards alkalosis. In alkalosis, haemoglobin in the blood binds more securely to oxygen, so they become relatively hypoxic. Restricting the oxygen being breathed in worsens the hypoxia and can be detrimental to the person." By the time Spence had stopped his little rant, I had calmed down enough, a fact he seemed to notice as indicated by the embarrassed blush on his cheeks.

"Thanks Spence." I ruffled his shaggy hair affectionately.

"So why are you sitting in the closet instead of going after Emily?" he asked curiously. I wasn't quite sure what to say to him; frankly I didn't know the answer myself.

"I dunno Spence, I'm just shocked." he didn't speak for a while, possibly lost for words himself.

"Well Morgan went after her, I don't know if he caught up to her though, you should go after her JJ." He urged, giving me that adorable stare with his big hazel-brown eyes.

"I can't, I can't be near her now, because if I am, I'll yell, and I don't want to yell at her, because that wouldn't be helpful to her." I admitted, burying my face in my hands.

"Is this because she said she thinks she's better off dead?" he asked, and I looked up in shock and he continued without my needing to speak. "Most of the bullpen heard, she yells really loud." I sighed more out of feeling sorry for Emily having her personal life broadcast to the entire floor.

"I can't face her after she said something like that. She has so much to live for! And she doesn't realize it!" I exclaimed, reminding myself after the fact that most of the FBI was probably still listening in.

"She's been through an incredible trauma, she's lucky to survive, and she'll realize it soon. You just have to convince her." He reassured, before helping me up off the floor.

"Thanks Spence." I hugged him quickly before dashing from the supply closet, hoping that by the time I had caught up with Emily, I wasn't too late.

A/N OMG that chapter was tough to write. Writer's block is an evil, evil thing. But bear with me, the perfectionist in me keeps telling me how poorly I'm writing, but the reviews tell me otherwise and thank you for them! But I hope I've pushed through the rough patch, and I'll be back tomorrow with another chapter! And as a side note, I'll briefly decode Spencer's rant. (Which I essentially paraphrased from Wikipedia.) Alkalosis is when your blood becomes more alkaline, hypoxia is a lack of oxygen, and haemoglobin is the protein in your blood that the oxygen sticks to, so it can be carried through the body. Goodnight!

-Nightshade