A/N firstly, I'm terribly sorry for the slight disappearance, but we're doing some minor renovations here, so things are a little crazy. But I hope the small break proves to be beneficial, I'm refreshed and bursting with ideas! The CM marathon I had helped a bit though, with special emphasis on the ones with JJ/Emily scenes! On with the story now!
-Nightshade
What a Difference a Day Makes
Chapter Fourteen
I had driven back to Emily's apartment as quickly as possible, narrowly missing a few collisions with other cars, pedestrians, and a very fortunate squirrel. All the way up to her door I was begging, pleading with any deity who cared to listen, that Emily was alright. My worst fears were proven as I threw the door open to her apartment to find it chillingly empty. A renegade sob escaped my throat as my searches became more frenzied.
"Emily, Emily where are you?" I shrieked, my voice grating against my raw throat like sandpaper. At the sound of my yelling Sergio came out from hiding. He gave me a disdainful look, as if I had let him down, before walking to the door. I ran back out, seeing the black cat scratching at an unmarked door. Not really having the time to question the intelligence of the feline, I threw the door open and the view on the other side sent my heart plummeting like a doomed plane. Stairs, to the rooftop. No this couldn't be happening, she isn't going to jump, she's strong! Emily's logical she wouldn't kill herself! I was taking the stairs three at a time, and nearly blind from tears. My hand slipped off the rail as my foot slipped on the edge of the step, sending me pitching forward and smacking my forehead into the stair edge. Ignoring the stab of pain from my head, I continued on, wiping the tears from my eyes so I could see. I nearly slammed straight into the door to the roof in my urgency, and I threw it open, gasping and heaving while scanning the desolate space. Night had fallen, along with it, an eerie sense of calm. The stars glistened despite the bright city lights shining from below, as if taunting them with their superiority. Chimneys pumped steam and smoke from the belly of the building, giving the empty space an ethereal look. Through the clouds I saw a figure, silhouetted against the foggy city lights, slouched at the edge of the roof. I ran for it blindly, crying her name desperately.
"Emily!" my knees protested mildly as I fell upon them in front of her, cradling her cheeks in my hands. I was crying again now, out of pure jubilation instead. I couldn't believe that she was alive, I couldn't believe that the skin beneath my hands was soft and warm instead of cold and pale. She still didn't meet my gaze, instead staring out at the city lights, streetlights creating oases of golden light in the black desert, cars darting about like frenzied ants who threw white and red beams of light around like strobe lights, and the ghostly glow of neon store signs were colorful beacons, attracting people to their doors.
"I was going to do it, I was so close. But I couldn't." she stammered, before turning her eyes skyward, highlighting the crystalline tears upon her alabaster cheeks. The stars above twinkled their reply, painting her ebony hair with strokes of pure moonlight.
"You can't die, you can't want to die. I know you think you have nothing to live for, I know you feel hopeless, but you can't give up. Now you can scream at me, yell at me, curse, run away, shut me out, throw whatever you can at me, but you don't get to die on me! You don't get to give up because you're Emily Prentiss and you're strong and brave and you have everything to live for. And I know it may not feel like it but you have so much to live for." She fixed me with a defeated look, everything from the dullness in her eyes to her slumped posture. She may as well have been waving a white flag, she was giving up.
"What? I'm broken, what do I possibly have to live for?" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up as she leaned closer to the ledge. My heartbeat sped up instantly as I dove to stop her movement.
"You have ME!" I screamed desperately, clutching to her hand as if it was the only thing keeping me sane. "You have me! I love you Emily, so please live for me! Please, please Emily please live for me!" I was begging now, literally on my knees in front of her begging her to live. Tears streaming unchecked down my cheeks, but I didn't notice, it's like I couldn't notice anything else in the world besides her. She was still staring at me, her eyes so filled with indecision. If she gave up on me, if she jumped, I wouldn't know how to go on, she's all I could see, she's all that I can see. Ever since I had yelled she seemed to exist in some sort of limbo, where time didn't pass. She let out a hitched breath, almost like a hiccup, before she slid off the ledge, crumpling to the gravel roof and curling into a ball. I was beside her in seconds, rubbing her back softly and whispering fervently in her ear.
"Thank you, thank you Emily." I was sobbing into her hair, unable to describe how relieved I felt. She wasn't in danger anymore, that's all that occurred to me in that instant.
"You… you l-love me?" she stuttered between sobs. She sounded confused though, as if she didn't believe me.
"Yes, yes Emily yes I love you! I love you, which is why you have to fight! I love you Em!" I didn't get her trepidation; I had to make her believe me.
"How can you love me? I exhaust you, I have nightmares, I have flashbacks, I can barely walk, I don't even know if I can go back to work! I mean look at me, look at me!" she shrieked desperately at me, yanking upwards on the cuff of her sweatpant to gesture to her slowly healing leg. It didn't look as bad as before, the swelling had gone down and the mesh pattern had faded, it was still scarred oddly, though that would never change. As soon as she let the pant leg go she was gesturing to other scars, the pink, puckered surgical scar on her abdomen, gashes from shrapnel, pointing at every nick and blemish upon her visible skin. It made me feel sick almost, her pointing out every reason that she thought I shouldn't love her. I was still on my knees as I moved in between her legs, stroking her face lovingly, trying to commit every crease and scar and slope of her delicate cheekbones to memory. I put my hands on the hem of her pant legs, rubbing up and down her calves, feeling the baby-soft, rippled skin of her burns dancing beneath my fingers like water. I closed my eyes, before finally placing one of my hands over her heart, feeling it's supernatural throbbing beneath my palm. My eyes were still closed, I didn't need to see her to know what she looked like, to know how gorgeous she was.
"I love you. You, Emily. The scars are a part of you. And no matter what you look like, I will still love you. No matter what you think or feel, you're still you, despite all that you went through, you're still you." the gravel bit my knees as I leaned in, sweeping away a delicate strand of her hair from her face. I gently brushed my lips across hers, simply wanting to show her how much I loved her. I wanted to make sure that she knew how beautiful she was, conveying that in every kiss and tender touch. The electric buzz of her lips against mine was a high I could never give up, I was addicted to her. I could feel her heartbeat vibrating into mine, reminding me with every thud that she was alive, fueling my happiness and my utter need for her, more of Emily. She pulled away breathlessly her once-dull eyes flickering with a small spark of her former self.
"You love me." She announced, sounding astonished now. "and… I love you." she almost whispered. A delicate smile spread across her face, like a reluctant flower blooming. I couldn't help feeling that she was finally on her way into the light.
A/N once again, I'm sorry for the mini-hiatus there, but I'm back now, and feeling inspired again! I do enjoy your feedback, and thanks to everyone who's already reviewed!
-Nightshade