I woke up on my parents bed. The room was practically empty Lissa and Adrian were in the corner talking quietly. I decided to feign sleep as I was nowhere near ready to talk to either of them. I pondered the last few days in my head. So much had happened. I had got Adrian back but lost Dimitri in return, life was so cruel would I ever manage to have the two of them in my life?

Lissa woke me from my thoughts

"Rose I know your awake, stop feigning you can't run from your problems all the time"

I sat up knowing that having to talk with Lissa was inevitable. I noticed however that Adrian had left and been replaced with my mother. I wasn't surprised that I hadn't noticed my mom enter but not noticing Adrian leave? I was out of touch.

"Look Rose if you don't want to talk about it I understand, you know where I am any time your ready but we really need to get going Mason is so excited about getting to see his mommy."

I smiled sadly at this "But what about his daddy?"

"Emmm he's been and gone. He wants to talk about custody and stuff but doesn't want to talk with you he'd prefer to deal through me" she said hesitantly.

I sighed typically Dimitri wanted nothing to do with me

"When did he tell you all this?"

"He left it in a note"

She handed it to me

Your Majesty,

I am formally informing you of my decision to leave my post of a Guardian until further notice due to unforeseen family reasons.

Guardian Dimitri Belikov.

There was another letter attached to this by means of a staple

Lissa,

I regret to inform you of my decision to leave Guardian ranks but I can't work in my present state of mind. I have also given Roza a note telling her of my decision. However not all things can be solved easily - Mason. I would be ever so grateful if you could act as a go between, between myself and Roza as no good can come of direct communication where Mason is involved. I will have seen Mason and have left court by the time you arrive.

I would also like to thank you for the brief period of time I have spent in your service which has overall been an enjoyable period of my life.

Yours sincerely

Dimitri Belikov

It pained me to see how informal Dimitri had been with Lissa in comparison to his note to me. I hadn't realised I had started to cry again until my mother wrapped her arms around me.

"It's okay Rose, we're all here for you"

Once again I sobbed myself to sleep. I awoke when we arrived at the airport but feel asleep fairly soon after barely conscious when we boarded the plane. I would have been lost without Abe, or at least woken up, as all the guardians were on high alert with so many important Moroi present.

When we touched down at court I was instantly alert. Despite the loss I felt for Dimitri I was excited to get to see Mason. Adrian shared my excitement as he had yet to meet the little fellow.

We hurried to the courts nursery to collect the children. Mason was the first child I saw, it was hard not to as he saw us come in and ran up

"MOMMY"

And latched onto my legs. I picked him up and introduced him to 'uncle' Adrian. They got on instantly. Mason made his way round and eventually I got Abe. He looked sooo like my father now, other than the hair of course, that was my mothers through and through! Mason soon came back to me and this time he looked ready to cry

"Mommy where's Daddy?"

"Oh honey was Daddy not already in?"

"He was but I thought he'd be back, he promised"

"When did he say he'd be back?"

"He didn't he just said Mommy and Daddy had some talking to do and then he'd be back"

So Dimitri had not told him everything.

"Honey I'm afraid it might be a little while before that happens"

At this stage he was crying silent tears, I don't know if he got the determination not to show his emotions from me or Dimitri, either way he was not great for expressing his emotions.

We brought the kids back home and got them ready for bed. I let Mase sleep with me because I didn't want to be alone, and he was part of Dimitri, the only part I had left seeing as he had taken everything belonging to him away, I guessed Turkey would be next, that is if he'll brave my parents he might not, I know I wouldn't.

Lissa was calling me through the bond but it was nothing serious, she only wanted to know if I was alright. I sent her a text saying I was fine tucked up in bed with Mason. She bid me goodnight and I drifted off to an Adrian induced dream, how I had missed them!

"Well Little Dhampir how you getting on?"

"Fine I guess I'm all cuddled up with Mason"

"Look Rose I know you really don't want to talk but you really need to know that Dimitri needs you, you can't avoid him forever. I know you need to sleep but I don't want you to give him the chance to do something you'd both regret and you won't listen while your awake"

"What do you mean something we'd both regret?" I asked filled with dread especially when Adrian answered my suspicions

"He's considering turning Stirgoi voluntarily"

"Adrian how do you know that, I mean the bond should only go one way"

"It does for the most part but I'm starting to get thoughts that clearly aren't mine so thye must be his. Maybe it has something to do with me restoring him before I brought him back?"

I sighed confused and upset.

"Look Adrian I'm really sorry, I really want him back and I will do anything in my power to - where is he?"

"That Little Dhampir I do not know"

"Okay will you come over now please?"

"Anything for you Little Dhampir."

Adrian was so going to kill me but I couldn't think of anything else that might work, that might get Dimitri's attention before it's too late.

Adrian strolled into my room within a matter of minutes as I had given him a key to my house. I had put Mason in his own bed and motioned for Adrian to join me on my bed. Adrian came to lie down beside me, not suspecting a thing - that was until I was straddling him.

"Rose what do you think your doing?" he asked as I trailled kisses down his jaw line.

Instead of answering him I kissed him full on. Suddenly I felt Adrian move. I smiled to myself satisfied with my reaction, Dimitri was sure to be pulled in soon. I continued to kiss Adrian making him moan - against his wishes. He was clearly aroused but still wanted to stop

"Rose please stop I thought I made my feelings for you clear"

"PLEASE Rose STOP!"

"Let down your walls"

"What?" he asked in disbelief

"Do what your told" I instructed.

It appeared that Adrian copped on to what I was doing as he did as I was told and let me do what I wanted. I felt Dimitri's presence, now I knew how he sometimes knew when I was in Lissa's head. I was aware of Adrian but I could also feel another presence. I pulled away from Adrian

"Dimitri I know your there, I love you please, PLEASE come back. I need you and Mason needs his Daddy. I'm sorry and I promise if you come back I will never, ever leave your side voluntarily again. I love you. PLEASE come back"

With that I kissed Adrian full on but in my mind it was Dimitri, Adrian and Dimitri knew that as well.

Dimitri POV

I had to leave, Rose wanted me to leave - there was no reason I should stay. I wrote notes to Lissa and Rose regards my decision. Adrian knew of my plans as he had entered when I was writing them. He was disgusted that I was being such a coward but promised not to stop me, it was my decision to make.

I knew that Lissa would be pissed - for me abandoning Mason if nothing else but what can I do I requested that she aid me in my attempt not to lose contact with my son, there was nothing more I could do.

I left immediately after I posted the notes. I wanted to make it to court to take all my stuff from the house and to see Mason one last time before I left court, before Roza even arrived back in court.

I called into the nursery first. Mason ran to greet me and I told him that it would be awhile before I was back as I had to talk with mommy. He seemed to understand although I know he didn't realise how much of a long term while it would be, hell even I didn't know how long term it would be. It nearly broke my heart to see him go but I had no choice. I also said my farewell to Abe JNR while I was there.

Next I went to our house and took all of my stuff. I had a lot of stuff left in Turkey though and I had no idea how I would get hold of that it's not as if I'm on Abe or Janine's nice list, more like on the top of their hit list- not a good place to be.

I didn't know where I would go. I couldn't stay at Court. I was no longer a Guardian so I couldn't go to the academy. I also could rule out going to my family in Russia it would be far too easy for Rose to find me and on top of that Yeva told me not to return until I had made Rose my wife - didn't look like I'd be returning there any time soon, if ever. I realised the only place I had left was the human world. I would find a secluded little village in the middle of nowhere and live there.

On my way to a shop an idea struck me - life had been so much easier when I was stirgoi. I knew it would hurt Roza and so many other people if I became Stirgoi again but right now the thought was a very attractive one. I had quickly advanced up through the ranks last time, there was no reason I wouldn't this time. It would be easy enough all I had to do is find one stirgoi, that's it one stirgoi and all these conflicting emotions would just disappear and be replaced by hatred. That was harsh I knew but for me it would be a merciful release and once I killed Rose there would be nobody left to want to restore me. Right now thee thoughts of anyone harming on hair on Roza's head filled me with anger but I knew that was the reality of it - if I turned stirgoi my main mission would be to hunt down and kill my true love - Rosemarie Hathaway.

I decided that I would go to Baia and see my family one more time. I had been forbidden to contact them by my grandmother but she never said anything about watching them. I had to make sure that everything was as it should be with them before I returned to my undead state.

I was settled comfortably in my seat on the plane when I was sucked into Adrian's head yet again. This time he was with Roza, so much for seeing her as a sister although I could tell that he uncomfortable in this situation- he really did not want to sleep with Roza and for that I was grateful.

"Dimitri I know your there, I love you please, PLEASE come back. I need you and Mason needs his Daddy. I'm sorry and I promise if you come back I will never, ever leave your side voluntarily again. I love you. PLEASE come back"

With that she kissed Adrian full on but it was meant for me and we all knew that.

I managed to pull out of Adrian's head and felt more confused. Part of me wanted to go straight back to Court and hold Roza in my arms forever but part of me wanted to go ahead with my original plan. I decided to go ahead with my original plan. I would become stirgoi and Roza and the rest of the world could go fuck themselves.

So I hope you all like it. I like to play with characters minds and see what can happen - I'm a sucker for WHAT IFS!

Please, please review they mean sooo much to me. I welcome constructive critism but not bitchy comments - if you do want to right a bitchy comment fire ahead but don't be a coward about it use your screen name so I can reply if I see it deemed fit for your advice on how to improve J

Hope you enjoy, there's more to come!

Love

xxxAddictedxxx