Thank you for all the reviews so far :) This is another short one but I felt like it was important to get Ian's POV across.
Lip was back and, to Ian, that was all that should have mattered. The one constant in his life that was full of people leaving then turning up and leaving again, was back. His brother, but more importantly, his best friend, was back. And though they had seen each other most days, it wasn't the same. It was a comfort to fall asleep at night knowing that Lip wasn't far. They held each others' secrets like they were frail; having the others' trust was more valuable to them than anything money could ever buy.
When he had finished work Ian rushed home, his shoulders hunched and his hands buried deep in his coat pockets in a desperate attempt to stay warm as he walked.
There was music pounding out from the house and, seeing as it was late, he knew everyone would be too drunk and high to notice him coming through the back door and that was just what he wanted. Strange as it was for Ian to pass up an opportunity to get wasted, he couldn't bring himself to see his family's smiling faces and pretend like he was just as carefree. He should have been but it'd been a long time since Ian had been carefree. He could blame it on Monica coming back and turning their lives upside down; he could blame it on Lip leaving; he could blame it on Mandy's dad getting her pregnant then shoving a gun in his face; he could blame it on a lot of things but it wouldn't have been the real reason.
Collapsing down onto his bed fully clothed, Ian closed his eyes and willed his mind to stop thinking about Mickey, mentally begged his brain to focus on anything but Mickey. Especially since he knew he'd be the furthest thing from the guy's mind. He was no doubt doing his best straight person impression which, evidently, he had down to a science. It was pathetic how much he thought about him, like he was some lovesick teenager. Which is exactly what he was, much to his annoyance.
The sound of the bedroom door creaking open dragged Ian from his thoughts and he opened his eyes.
"What are you doing up here, man?" It was Lip.
"Nothing, I just have a headache," he lied though he didn't know why because he knew his brother would see right through it.
Lip sat down by Ian's feet. "Right. So what are you doing up here, you shitty liar?" he asked, his smile too drunkenly contagious for Ian not to mirror it.
"Just don't feel like partying," he mumbled, feeling a pang of guilt because he knew everyone was celebrating Lip's return.
"Yeah I got that by you storming up the stairs," he laughed out. "Why not, though?" He lit up a cigarette.
Ian considered lying again because apparently he wanted to practise the art of futility.
He sighed and sat up shifting so he was beside Lip. "Mickey's back in juvie and it's my fault," he looked up into his brother's confused face then continued, "Frank caught us and Mickey freaked the hell out because he thought Frank would tell someone and his dad would find out then kill him," he sighed, taking a breath, "so he went to try and find Frank so he could kill him but he couldn't find him so he came back to the store and he said that I basically meant nothing, was just a "warm mouth" then he left and punched a cop instead."
Again, he looked up at Lip's face, only this time it was blank, completely expressionless and Ian wondered what he must be thinking because he had just unloaded a lot of information in a matter of seconds.
"Holy shit," Lip finally sighed out, rubbing the back of his neck then taking a drag of his cigarette. "You okay, man?" his eyes were full of concern.
Ian didn't know how to answer that. Was he okay? He was kind of sad and pissed off but he wasn't crying himself to sleep at night or anything. He hated Mickey and missed him just as much but it wasn't like he couldn't deal with it. Sort of.
"I'm fine," he said, lying and telling the truth at the same time.
Lip looked unsure, squinting his eyes a little. "Yeah?"
"He doesn't give a shit, he's done with me so I guess I'm done with him, whatever," he shrugged, faking nonchalance.
"Right..." Lip was completely unconvinced and Ian couldn't blame him. Saying he was done with Mickey was a blatant lie.
Lip was back and that's all that should have mattered, but it wasn't. All that mattered was that Mickey wasn't.