Bella joined me for lunch the rest of that week. I choked down and regurgitated a few bites of lunch for her benefit. She ate more as the week went on, which made me happy. She wasn't a large girl, and I worried a little for her health.

The first lunch was very quiet. "So," she began. "Tyler looks pretty bad. Thanks again for pulling me out of the way."

I shrugged. "No big deal."

I waited for my silence to become awkward and her to move back to the table with her friends. I watched her fiddle with her hair, bite her lower lip, spin her granola bar on the table. I made a point of shifting my weight, toying with my can of soda.

Strangely, rather than awkward, the silence was golden. I was surprised how easy it was to just sit with Bella. She wasn't uneasy, she wasn't anxious, she wasn't expecting anything from me. It was the most relaxed I'd felt while in Forks. Her scent was the only thing marring the moment. I still wanted to taste her.

"You still here?" she asked, her chair creaking. I smelled her blush at my unwavering gaze. She wasn't embarrassed, rather, flattered. It made me smile.

"I'm still here."

"You haven't moved."

I closed my eyes. She had relaxed me far too much. I shrugged again. "Resting before class."

"Speaking of class..." She looked around at the clearing cafeteria. She stood, putting the cap back on her juice bottle. I rose and picked her bag up from the floor, holding it for her. "Thank you."

"Thank you," I whispered after she had left.

The next day, we talked more. She was down. I felt the sorrow weighing on her. "Something wrong?" I asked.

This time she shrugged. I didn't press her. I spent a long time chewing a single bite of my sandwich. It tasted like dirt, but even so, I didn't want to swallow it, so I kept chewing.

"I'm missing my mom," she finally said.

"Where is she?" I asked.

"She lives in Phoenix with Phil, my step-father, but she travels with him. He's a minor league ball player."

I nodded. "Quite the shock, coming here from Phoenix."

She nodded too. "You come from the South, right? Further East than New Mexico?"

I smiled. My Texan accent had waned over time, but I had never completely dropped it. "Yes, but we moved here from the midwest. I haven't been down there for a long time."

She continued to nod. "I miss the sun." She shifted in her seat. "Almost as much as I miss my Mom." She crossed her arms and rested her chin on them, her hair spilling over her shoulder onto the table.

I reached out to touch the brown waves. She closed her eyes. "Thanks for listening to me, Jasper. Do you miss your parents?"

She had heard the story of course. Carlisle was my uncle, my father's younger brother. I tried to remember my parents. Their faces and voices were fogged and fuzzy. "Very little." I couldn't tell her that what I missed wasn't the people, it was the love I had felt from her the day of the accident. "What about your Dad?"

"Charlie?" she asked, lifting her head. "He's great. He's quiet, like me. More like having a roommate than living at home."

I nodded. "Carlisle and I are like that."

"Carlisle?"

"My uncle. Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I imagine your Dad's shifts are similar, very erratic?"

She nodded. "Do you get lonely?" she asked.

"I never used to," I said, a little too honestly.

She smiled and I felt her mood lift. I smiled too.

Friday, as she sat, she looked over her shoulder at her classmates. I felt a spike of jealousy and was horrified to identify it as my own.

"I know we're only juniors, but I'm sure they'd like for you to join us."

I looked over at the table. "I don't know. I don't mind eating alone," I lied. I wanted to sit with her.

She shrugged. "I'll join them next time. What are you doing this weekend?"

"Camping. I go hiking almost every weekend."

"I bet you see some spectacular things around here."

I desperately hoped she wouldn't try to invite herself along. I'd love to spend the weekend walking with Bella, but I couldn't hunt with her around. I'd wind up hunting her.

"Renee, my mom, went on a nature kick once." She told me all about her flighty mother and her penchant for bouncing from one fad to the next.

"You didn't find anything that interested you?"

"Not like that. I tended to stay home, be her base of operations."

"What did you do at home?"

She shrugged. "I read. I read a lot."

I nodded and our comfortable silence fell again.

"What do you do?"

"Hmm?" It had come after our long pause. I wasn't sure what she was asking.

"When you're at home."

I looked into her brown eyes and wondered what I should answer. "I read too. Study actually." I had just gotten a new text and course material before Bella had arrived in Forks.

"Maybe we could study together." She was tentative, a little uneasy.

This was not a good idea, I thought to myself again. Rather than answer, I smiled and let the silence stretch again.

Carlisle joined me on my hunt that weekend. We ranged far enough to chase up a bear and cougar. Carlisle was enjoying the outing and using the opportunity to vent a lot of his human frustrations. There was something about the house, even though we weren't keeping any pretense when we were in it, that prevented him from airing his complaints there.

"Do they ever see anything past the shell? I wonder if they'd even be concerned that I'm a blood-drinker. Wouldn't slow them down."

"Do you believe that?" I asked, interrupting his rant on the sexually obsessed females he worked with.

He stopped, regarding me. "No. That's why they are so easily scared off." He continued to look at me. "Why do you ask?" When I didn't say anything more he asked, "Bella?"

I huffed. "I don't think she would care. She doesn't seem at all disturbed by my changing eye color, my unnatural stillness. She wants to come study with me."

Carlisle's smile was broad. "And?"

I shook my head. "Don't get your hopes up."

He laughed. "But we've already bought the furniture and everything."

I rolled my eyes.

"I want to meet this girl, Jasper. Any girl that can get you this turned around has to be interesting."

I grumbled.

"Spar?" he suggested, settling into a crouch. Apparently he'd worked off a portion of his frustration. I sparred with him to release tension. He sought it when he had excitement to burn. I couldn't remember him suggesting it since the week we had moved here. He loved this area and was thrilled to have at least ten years of nearly constant cloud cover to be as human as he pleased. For all that he griped about humans, he adored mingling with them, helping them and absolutely loving them.

The only reason I could think of for him to ask now was that he was honestly excited to meet Bella. I crouched and waited for his attack. I needed to burn off some of my worry. I was sure bringing Bella to the house, getting closer to her at all, was a very bad idea. At the same time, I really wanted to do both.

Carlisle lunged for me and I spun from his line of attack. We circled, watching for openings and I lunged for him. Carlisle wasn't a fighter. He dodged quickly and often evaded when I went less than full out. He didn't often attack though. He really only sparred to indulge me, and to play. He had never been in a fight with one of our kind the way I had.

I had spent the first years of my new existence fighting for my right to continue to exist against others as new as myself. I quickly sized up Carlisle and saw three different openings I could easily exploit. I picked one and made another attack. Carlisle evaded again and rounded on me. I spun, not really expecting him to take a lunge. I was still able to toss him before he landed a bite.

He landed on his feet; he'd learned a few things after sparring with me. He laughed now. I smiled but couldn't laugh. I never really relaxed while sparring. It just freed part of me to think in different lines. I could think about Bella tactically instead of emotionally.

Emotions ran so much of my life. Being able to sense them, control them, I was constantly aware of all those around me, but sometimes mine were the least clear of all — always bombarded by others. Being alone with Carlisle made that easier. Being alone at home was even better. Right now I didn't need to be clouded by emotions though — mine or anyone else's. I needed to decide what was best — best for myself and best for Bella. She really wasn't afraid of me. She knew I wasn't normal and she didn't care. Did she have any idea how dangerous I was? Probably not. She would be a lot more afraid. Should I tell her? Probably. Could I? I didn't see how, not short of telling her who and what I was. Should I tell her? I dodged Carlisle again, flipping him into the air. He was still giddy. It was good. It kept me optimistic while I tried to wrestle with this dilemma. The sun was starting to rise. We would head back today. I needed to figure this out. I finally landed a blow on Carlisle, pinning him to the ground.

He smiled and waited for me to let him up. "I'm going to avoid her," I told him.

His mood immediately darkened. "Why?"

"We're not safe for her. I'm not anyway." Carlisle was perfectly safe for her to be around. He wasn't tempted to taste her at every turn. "If I avoid her, she'll find something new to interest her."

Carlisle was suddenly amused. He smirked at me and I let him up. "We'll see." He chuckled.