A/N: UBER BORED XDX
Everyone except Mr. Noderer (teacher,) Mr. Kraft (principal,) Watari, Roger, & the task force are, like, 12-14 in this. OH, & keep in mind that somehow in my agemorph-ness Mello is his post-scar smexiness. HOORAY FOR THE MAGIC OF FFs! :D
FINE THEN JACKIE-CHAN DRYER-KUN, HERE'S YOUR SEXUAL INNUENDO COCKIE (LOL, typo? OR NOT?) :
(=[]o .'.'.,.' ╔╦╦╦╗ **#* CQQQQC [v v v v v])
.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.╚╩╩╩╝
EPIC. FAIL. It was SUPPOSED to be a cookie with robots, cigarette ash, chocolate, potato chip crumbs, jam (HTF IS THAT CQQQQC THING SUPPOSED TO BE JAM? DX) & strawberry cake on it. DX
Random-ass Disclaimer: I dun own DN or it's characters. The afro-man owns that. THE AFRO-MAN OWNS ALLLLLLLLL.
Mr. Noderer: blah blah blah no one cares music stuff blah blah blah
Mr. Kraft: HEYYYYYYYYY yeah guess what well we're forcing all the new students to be in choir too for no apparent reason. Most of them are really old guys with terrible voices, but whatever.
*Mikami, Aizawa, Soichiro, Matsuda, Ide, Mogi, Watari, Near, Light, & L walk in*
Mr. Noderer: ... This is the girl choir day. The boy's choir is tomorrow...
Mr. Kraft: YEAHHHHHHH Idon'tcare. HAVE A NICE DAY! :D
Jacqueline, Ariel, Olivia: OMG HAI! :D
Light: FUCK! Why do we keep getting stuck in classes with THESE PEOPLE?
L, Soichiro, Mr. Noderer: Language.
Random girls (there's about 70 of us, so... yeah o.o") : OMG HEY LOOK AT THE BRUNETTE! HE'S SO CUTE! *mindless squealing and fangirling even though they have no idea who the fuck they are*
L: Hey! What about me? Don't I get any love? D':
Jacqueline: WE LOVE YOU, PEDO-PANDA!
L: DX
Light: ...L, by your own reasoning, you are just driving up the chances of you being Kira...
L: STFU. I'm not the suspect, you are.
Olivia: Hey... where's Misa, Mello, and Matt?
Ariel: Mello shot Misa-
Jacqueline: MELLO DID WHAT? DX
Ariel: and I dunno about where he and Matt are...
Jacqueline: :OOOOO I BET I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE! =:D
Ariel: NO DX
Jacqueline: HAHA! I BET IT IS! (she's a yaoi fan. x.x)
*suddenly Matt and Mello come limping in, clothes torn and panting heavily*
Jacqueline: Wow... I didn't know that was even possible. They must like it rou-
Ariel: *glare of DEAHTH*
Matt: there were so many... of them... *panting*
Olivia: O.o what?
Mello: Sixth... graders... ambush...
Ariel: *bursts out laughing*
Jacqueline: DX NOOOOOOOOOOO MATT! YOU MUST BE GAY FOR MELLO OR THE WORLD WILL STOP SPINNING!
Matt: I have to be WHAT?
Mello: O.O no thanks.
-haha, meanwhile.-
L: *just sat down next to Kendall*
Kendall: *stares at his knee without blinking and starts petting it* (yeah, she does that. a lot. it's kinda creepy. but we love her for it xD)
L: Um... what... are you doing...?
Kendall: *doesn't say anything, just keeps staring creepily & petting L's knee*
L: ...really starting to get freaked out now! DX
Jacqueline: OH DON'T WORRY, L-KITTEN! She just does that sometimes~ :D
L: o-o *getting concerned* IT'S CREEPY DX
Kendall: The descendere in aciem iris porcos, cum alba et circuli sciurus elementum sanguinis. Lacunaria et delphines, lupi sunt abscondita a male, sed non tradent in trying giraffes lignum ad vescendum cyanide pie. Dehinc, non electione, sed etiam oves TV tradere ... Vereor omnia amissa murum hamsters ... Ut kittenwals CONTERITO animam ...
-lol, you gotta see this... What the author TOLD Google Translate to translate was this...
"The rainbow pigs descend upon the battlefield, streaked with jelly and circle squirrel blood. The ceiling dolphins are still hiding from the smoothie wolves, but the tree giraffes will not give up in trying to eat the cyanide pie. After a while, even the TV sheep will have no choice but to give up... I fear that all is lost for the wall hamsters... May the kittenwals terrorize your soul..."
When she took the Latin and translated it back, again using Google Translate, she got this...
"The pigs come down to battle a rainbow, with white and squirrel element of the circle of blood. Coffered ceilings and dolphins, wolves they are hidden from the ill, but not deliver him into the tree trying to giraffes to eat cyanide piously. After a while, is not the election, but also hand over the sheep ... TV I am afraid the wall had been lost all hamsters ... To kittenwals TERRORIZE soul ..."
lol. Epic fail/win.-
L: REALLY SCARED NOW DX
Ariel and Jacqueline: WHOA Kendall since when were you fluent in Latin? *totally nonplussed*
Kendall: I dunno.
Mello: JESUS CHRIST THERE'S EVEN MORE RABID GIRLS IN HERE DX *attacked by random girls*
Kendall: *hisses*
Matt: ...Did she just hiss?
Mello: JESUS CHRIST MATT IDK JUST FUCKIN HELP ME DX
Kendall: *hisses again*
Matt: o.o" ...Jesus Christ.
Kendall: *hisses... yet again.*
Matt: o-o" I really don't think this is normal... let's try... JESUS CHRIST! JESUS CHRIST! JESUS CHRIST!
Kendall: *hiss hiss hiss*
Jesus: WOULD YOU GUYS STOP SAYING MY NAME RANDOMLY DX
Kendall: *hisses, grows claws, & attacks Jesus*
Jesus: HOLYJEEVAS!
Matt: X.X Jesus is a hypocrite and God is a crackhead. Who knew?
Olivia: WTF IS GOING ON WITH KENDALL? O_O
Ariel: Meh, idk. I think she's the Antichrist.
Olivia and Matt: and you aren't alarmed by that... AT ALL?
Jacqueline: Not really.
-Meanwhile~-
L: *still sitting there looking freaked out*
-Lol. Meanwhile!-
Mello: *still being attacked, reaches for his gun* *...it's not there.* ...WHERE THE FUCK IS MY GUN?
Ariel: *has it and shooting random people she doesn't like*
Bullets: YO YO YO THIS IS AWESOME, FOO! WE GONNA KILL YO ALL! WE GONNA KICK YO ASSES, BITCHES! (he got his gangsta bullets back?)
Mello: DX WHY AREN'T ANY OF YOU ATTACKING MATT? HE'S CUTE, RIGHT? OR LIGHT! ATTACK LIGHT!
Jacqueline: I KNEW ITTTT! MELLO THINKS MATT IS CUTE!
Mello: X.X
Matt: *is suddenly attacked as well* JEEZ, THANKS MELLO. YOU'RE, LIKE, MY BEST FRIEND EVER. *sarcasm*
-Meanwhile! :D-
Light and L: *just sitting there, watching it all* ...
Mr: Noderer: Um... I'm really not sure...
-BWAHAHA! SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION TIME!-
Mr. Noderer: ...what? *doesn't spontaneously combust*
Jacqueline: WOAH MR. NODDY YOU DIDN'T SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST! :D
Mr. Noderer: ...Of course I didn't, I'm wearing my fireproof fish tie today.
Jacqueline: :OOO :D
-D: no spontaneous combustion? D:= WELL THEN I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS! ...er... invisible... hand... things... ANYWAY! *sets Kate on fire*-
Kate: DX AH NO I'M ON FIRE AH SOMEONE HELP ME!
Everyone: *doesn't help her*
-YAY FIAR! :D-
Ariel: WAIT FIRE 8DDDDD WHOOOOOO FIREEEEEEE
-DX NOOOOO DX STAY AWAY STAYBACK STAYBACK NO DX AWAY FROM THE FIRE NO VIOLENCE FOR YOU NOOO DX-
Ariel: *somehow manages to set the invisible voice on fire*
-DX I'M ON FIRE DX-
Olivia: LOOK! It's Captain Obvious!
Ariel and Mello (what happened to the fangirls?) : lol.
-DX MEANWHILE DX I'M STILL BURNING DX-
Matt: *still being glomped* (oh, there they are.) DAMMIT MELLO HELP ME OUT OR YOU'LL BE SINGING SOPRANO FOR THE NEXT TWENTY YEARS!
Mello: *laughs* You know I'd pwn you in a fight.
Matt: I'M FUCKING SERIOUS DX
Mello: Have fun, I hope Serious is good.
Matt: MELLO! DX
Mello: Fine. *sighs* *points to Ariel* You, psycho chick, give my gun back.
Ariel: D: but I like guns D:
Mello: *grabs the gun*
Ariel: ...Well fuck you.
Mello: *starts shooting the random girls glomping Matt*
Bullets: YO BITCHEZ GET THE FUCK OFF MATT YO WE DESTROYYYYY YO IN DA NAME OF DA MELLO
-*whimper* Meanwhile...-
Ashley and Hannah (in the band room) : ...WTF? ...OMK! THE DEATHEH NOTEH PEOPLEZ MUSTEH B-EH INEH THEH CHOIREH ROOMEH~
Aiden: Oh god...
God: ):
Ashley: S-T-F-U! *hits him with her clarinet*
-Lol, child abuse. AND I'M STILL BURNING! DX Meanwhile. o3o-
Mikami, Aizawa, Soichiro, Matsuda, Ide, Mogi, Watari, Near: HEY WE'RE TIRED OF NOT GETTING LINES DX
-Lol, TUHBAHD.-
Mikami: So, um, "God", I'm assuming you're anti-Kira?
God: *sarcasm* Well what makes you think that?
Mikami: Well obviously Kira is God, so if you really think you're God, you must not like Kira very much.
God: T.T
-MEANWHILE-
Jesus: *is being torn to shreds by Kendall, who is apparently the Antichrist* DX HELP ME
Olivia: *steps forward* Um, Kendall, I really think you should leave Jesus-
Kendall: *hisses*
Olivia: ...alone...now... DX
-GUESS WHAT?
ponies.
JK.
MEANWHILE~!-
Aizawa's afro: *starts eating all the dead people*
Soichiro's mustache: So... do you think I could have som-
Aizawa's afro: *eats Soichiro's mustache*
Soichiro: WTFH? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MUSTACHE?
Ariel: SEE, told you guys his afro was cannibalistic.
Jacqueline: ...and no one said otherwise...
Ariel: STFU JACKIE-CHAN I HAVE WON THIS ARGUMENT!
Jacqueline: ...Whatever Sebastian.
-MEANWHILE I'M STILL ON FIRE BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE!-
Everyone: *ignores voice*
-DX FINE. MEANWHILE-
Matsuda: HEY LIGHT GUESS WHAT SAYU TOLD ME!~
Light: T.T what?
Matsuda: YOUR LAST NAME BACKWARDS IS "I'MAGAY"~! :D
*entire class stops*
*mutterings*
Random girls: "He does look a little gay, doesn't he?" "Yes, I mean, I bet it takes him hours to do his hair." "And he has been resisting all our attempts to glomp him..." "But then again so have the others." "Well that could just mean they're all gay..."
Light: I. AM. NOT. GAY. DX
Olivia and Jacqueline: SUUUUUURE.
Light: X.X *looks at Ariel* You believe me, right?
Ariel: *looks up from the DS she just stole from Matt* Huh?
Light: *sigh of annoyance* You don't think I'm gay, right?
Ariel: Well... I dunno... You kinda look it...
Light: DX
-Meanwhile D':-
BB: *walks in, holding three jars of strawberry jam* ._. ...YUMMY, DEAD PEOPLE! :D *joins Aizawa's afro in ...his..it's...heshe's...I think I'll go with it's... corpse eating*
-o_o" Um... MEANWHILE~-
Near: *sitting there, innocently being a carpetophile (lol, Bitch Stepped on My Floor Cake.) and eating robots*
Jacqueline: HEY MR. WHITE FLUFF LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT YOU~!
Near: *looks up* Hm?
Jacqueline: *steps out of doorway, revealing Rachel*
Near: ...ohGodno...
Rachel: ZOMG NEAR! I LOVE YOU! :3 *glomps him* AHND U LUFF MEH BAK, RITE?
Mello: How stupid can you be? It's obvious that Near's floorsexual. (BSOMFC again :D)
Rachel: D': Mello... I HATE YOU! DX Can't a girl dream? And rape?
Mello: Great, I'll add you to the list of people who hate me. ...And... Sure, go ahead, I'm sure the little socksheep will love it ^^
Near: ...
Jacqueline: There's a little soundproof room right over there ^^ *points*
Near: . . .
Mello and Jacqueline: SEE YOU GUYS LATER! :D
Near: *is dragged off to THE ROOM by Rachel* *grabs on to doorway for dear life* Please... Help me...
Rachel: C'MON NEAR WE'RE GONNA HAVE LOTS OF FUN! :D AND LOOK, THERE'S EVEN A COUCH!
Near: *sadly sadish tear of sadeh sad sadness... and despair.*
Olivia: Well that's weird, I could have sworn I just saw Near show emotion...
Mello: I'm sure he's fine ^^
-MEANWHILE~-
Aizawa, Ide, Mogi, Watari: ...And we STILL haven't had any real lines yet...
Ryuk: *bursts through window because he was too lazy to just evaporate through it* LIKE I SAID BEFORE, NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU GUYS :)
Sidoh: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU RYUK? D:=
Ryuk: DX FUCK, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE DX
Rem: *randomly poofs into room* MISA IS DEAD. WHO KILLED HER?
Near: *From the sound proof room? And they can hear what he is saying? ._.* MELLO DID IT
Mello: ...shit.
-Bwahaha, meanwhile!-
Near: REVENGE IS SWEET
Rachel: WAIT, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? THE REAL NEAR DOESN'T CARE ABOUT REVENGE! D:=
Near: Well after what you've been doing to m- I MEAN, yeah, that's right, I'm not the real Near! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! See, I just had EMOTION! You should go find the real Near now!
-...it's like a soap opera...-
Rachel: YOU BASTARD! *runs out to go find the "real" Near*
-MEANWHILE-
A bunch of Near cosplayers: Whoa, how did we get here?
-Bwahaha, I love myself. I have epic ideas. MEANWHILE~-
Rem: *about to kill Mello* ... *still about to kill him* ... *...still about to kill him* ... *still hasn't done it, but she's going too*
Mello: ... T.T Hey, if you're gonna kill me, get on with it.
Rem: Or...
Matt: LOL, I know what's gonna happen!
-WHAT? HOW?-
Matt: I have the script downloaded on my DS. *holds up DS, which is still being played by Ariel... (I think she's attached herself to it somehow...)*
-...-
The Script (band) : :D
Matt: NONOTYOU -.-
The Script: )':
-...Anyway, back to Mello's little situation.-
Mello: LOOK If you're gonna kill me GET IT OVER WITH. *glares at Rem*
Rem: I won't kill you...
Random fangirls reading this ff: :D
Rem: IF...
Everyone reading this ff: *edge of seats in anticipation*
Rem: You give me that chocolate bar. *points her finger...bone...thing... at the chocolate bar Mello has been holding this whole time without the author even mentioning it once*
Everyone reading this ff: *le gasp*
Mello: M... my chocolate? *eyes widen*
Rem: Just that bar.
Mello: D: W-why do all the shinigami want my chocolate? D'X *glances between Rem and the chocolate bar, as if making a pained decision*
Matt: MELLO just give her the chocolate bar! You brought another one, remember?
Mello: B-but...
Matt: LOOK, it's in your pocket, see- ._. Where did it go?
Ariel: *walks by, eating a bar of chocolate & still playing Matt's DS*
Matt: *narrows eyes* Where did you get that chocolate?
Ariel: Hm? It was in Mello's pocket. I just stole it.
Matt: x.x Well could you please give it back? ...and my DS too!
Ariel: B-but... *same expression enters her face as the one that had appeared on Mello's when Rem told him the trade* ...this is my first fix in a week! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THIS WEEK WAS? NOT A SINGLE PIECE OF CHOCOLATE, ALL WEEK! *rampage*
Matt: *sigh* If you don't give it back, Rem is going to kill Mello.
Ariel: ...And?
-JK, she's too much of a fangirl to say that :/-
Ariel: D: *glances between Mello and the chocolate bar, a pained expression on her face* B-but...
Matt: *sigh, glare* Mello, just give Rem the chocolate bar you have.
Mello: *childish voice* NU! D:=
Rem: ...You do realize I'm gonna kill you, right?
Mello: ...Yeah.
Rem: ...You're gonna die... Over a piece of chocolate...
Mello: ...Yeah.
Rem: *turns to Ariel* ...And you're going to let him die... Over a piece of chocolate...
Ariel: ...Yeah.
Rem: . . . If I kill you, you'll stop breathing.
Mello: ...Yeah.
Rem: . . . If you stop breathing, you'll die.
Mello: ...One would think that correct, yes x.x
Rem: . . . If you die, you'll be dead.
Mello: ...THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.
Rem: . . . If you're dea-
Mello: YES I THINK WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT! X.X
-Aw, Mello didn't think my DN:TAS reference was funny? :/-
Mello: No, not really. X_X
Matt: ... ... ... ... WELL GOOD THING I READ THE SCRIPT AND BROUGHT THIS EXTRA BAR OF CHOCOLATE THAT I STOLE DIRECTLY FROM MELLO'S STASH! :D
Mello and Ariel: YOU HAD THAT THIS WHOLE TIME? D:=
Matt: Yup ^^
Mello and Ariel: ...
Rem: HELLO?
Mello: OHYEAH! *hands Rem half eaten chocolate bar, snatches the new bar from Matt's hand, and starts eating it*
Matt and Ariel: YAY HAPPY ENDING :D
Matt: ...Now gimme back my DS.
Ariel: D:
-Damn, this is like a soap opera... MEANWHILE~!~-
Near: *walks by* WTF? I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN REM TO KILL YOU?
Mello: *glare*
Near: ...ohshi- *gets beaten half to death, then locked in a closet with Harold the Spider.*
-Yes, the author named the spider. If you have problems with that, talk to her. LONG LIVE HAROLD!-
Mello: *shoots more people* *blows more shit up*
-*this is getting really repetitive*-
-*everyone's dead*-
-later-
-*everyone's not dead?*-
-At Mallory's house for a huge random sleepover-party-thing of epicly epic epicnezz that wasn't planned until all the guests showed up at her house for no reason... So yeah it wasn't planned-
Mallory, Hannah, Rachel, Madison and Ashley: So, how did choir go today?
Jacqueline, Olivia, and Ariel: Meh. It was boring, as always.
Kendall: Mors et raptus in cats quod kittens stalker conantur cum acciperet Inferno innuendo cockies orci!
Mallory, Hannah, Rachel, Madison and Ashley: ...What?
Jacqueline and Ariel: OHYEAH, Kendall's the Antichrist. Sorry, we forgot to tell you that! ^^
END.
A/N: For those of you that may or may not be wondering, what I typed in to Google Translate for that last bit of Latin was "Death to the stalker kittens and the rape cats as they attempt to take over Hell with their sexual innuendo cockies!" (lol, another typo?) and if I take the Latin translation and translate it back to English I get "Cats kittens that when he received the stalker caught up in an attempt to Death and Hell cockies innuendo here!"
XD