Ch4

I could end up in flames, she'd still love me.
My heart out of place, she'd still love me.
I could wrap the world in sheets of grey,
With no regard for night or day, and she'd still...

It feels like a cold night to be left out for the crows.
And it feels like the right time to hide where nobody knows.
I said, too long are the hours spent in the chains of my addictions.
How long do the lights burn to lead with no direction?

I could end up in flames, she'd still love me.
My heart out of place, she'd still love me.
I could wrap the world in sheets of grey
With no regard for night or day, and she'd still...

Still

Thriving Ivory

"How bad Bones?" She stares down into chocolate eyes full of pain and vulnerability as he clings to her mid section in the hospital corridor. He looks to her for an answer as he awaits her response upon his knees. She hesitates she hasn't seen him in so long and now to fly back to this? To be his rock in such horrid turmoil wasn't the type of reunion she had expected. Then again haven't they always been one another's touchstone, no matter what? She shakes the thought.

His world crashed, he clings to the one person he knows in her entirety and prays she hasn't given up on him. The one person he needs to be here for him. He begs her to answer him with his eyes, scared for his daughter and painfully distraught over Hannah's sudden death. Tonight he needs her and deep down he knows she will answer him, knows she will always be there simply because she is Bones and he is Booth.

She didn't want to tell him that his daughter didn't have the best stats out there, but he had asked and honesty was the best policy. She looked up and then looked down into his eyes again. There was no way to put it simply.

"Ashley's case is severe but she is young so the chances of her recovering from such trauma are very good Booth." She looked at him as tears rolled down his face and she felt the need to say more. "You caught her in time Booth, you noticed." He said nothing as he buried his face into her abdomen, forgetting the rest of the world around him, he broke. He cried for Hannah, for Ashley, and even for the reunion of his partner who he had lost and now found under overwhelming circumstances.

Angela watch as Brennan's eyes widened momentarily as he buried his face into her and clung tighter. Then her facial expression relaxed and returned to that of the friend she used to know who comforted her partner in need. Angela watched as Brennan ran her hands through his hair as a mother does to a child as she soothed him.

Eventually Booth released her slumping against the wall his legs stretched out in front of him, his mind deep in thought. It wasn't until Brennan slowly sunk down next to him that Angela knew for a fact that Brennan would be staying the night. She watched as Booth gravitated toward her and buried his head in her chest, wrapping his arms around her as tears started to flow freely again. Brennan quickly engulfed him in her embrace. Angela also knew that if she had to leave tonight, Booth would be in good hands.

It was now two in the morning and the trio sat in the waiting room Ashley's room now taken by another, hospital rooms were in high demand. Hodgins had called. Piper was asleep long ago only asking where Angela was, to be told by Hodgins that she had to go to the hospital but would be back when she woke up. Piper, being the independent child she was, only yawned and accepted her father's answer then went to bed.

Booth sat in his own world next to Brennan when a doctor walked up to him his tired eyes suddenly came to life eyeing the man in front of him. Angela watch as Brennan sized him up waiting in hesitation and unknowingly studied his body language.

"Ashley is a fighter Mr. Booth she came through surgery nicely and is recovery. She will be moved to a room as soon as possible." Booth exhaled and his eyes became glossy.

"Where is she? He needs to see her now." Brennan said sternly as she stood eye level with Dr. Richards. The doctor hesitated but didn't question her, he had seen her wrath and wasn't even sure if that was her at her worst.

"Right this way." Booth jumped up and walked with Richards pausing only a millisecond as he turned his head behind him.

"Come on Bones, Ange."

When they walked into see Ashley in the small make shift room curtains drawn. She only whispered "Mommy?" she was scared, tired and wanting to cry but too tired.

"Daddy's here princess."

She said nothing and Angela brought some ice chips a nurse had gave her to give to Ash. "Hey, baby girl it's Angela. Open up sweetie, this will make your throat all better."

She shook her head no but Booth cajoled her to suck on some ice. After the chips were gone she uttered Mommy again and then went back to sleep. Angela now pleased that she had seen Ash awake, she knew she had to go home. A nurse came in and said they would be moving Ashley to her own room soon.

Angela walked quietly toward Booth who was brushing Ash's hair out of her face. "Booth, I should go home but if you need me I can stay." It was more a question than a statement, for the past year Hannah, Angela, and maybe Rebecca had been the only women he had meaningful conversations with or that watched out for him. Brennan had become a ghost. Angela watched as he glanced at Brennan and she returned the silent question he asked, confirming she would stay.

"Thanks Ange, but go home Bones will take your shift." He gave Angela a sad smile.

"Call me if you need anything and call me even if you don't. I will see you in the morning." She hugged Booth and left the hospital noting that some things never change. A silent language between two people was picked back up, like riding a bike. She also sent a quick prayer up for Ashley and Booth as she walked out of the hospital.

Soon after Angela left they moved Ashley into her new room. Booth immediately pulled an uncomfortable chair next to her bed as he gaze at his sleeping beauty. There were so many wires going in and out of her, more IV's than any child should ever have in them. He wanted to cry again but didn't, he told himself he was in control although he didn't believe it.

Brennan sighed as she sat on the couch. There were so many things she wanted to tell him but now they were here and she couldn't. She had loved him, loves him… she was unsure now what she was supposed to feel. Though, she had held him as he cried over the death of the woman she was jealous of in spite of everything. She knew deep down what that action confirmed. That she still loved him. That present tense was needed to describe how she felt about Booth.

She was sad when he was sad, happy when he was happy. Hannah was a nice person but she had often wondered while in Australia if Booth was truly happy, if he really loved her? She had thought of the possibility of she and he together while in Maluku. That was before she even knew of Hannah and when she found out of her it hurt beyond hurt, it had stung.

Though that was then and there were more pressing issues at hand now. Now was not the time for feelings or yesterdays, no most definitely not. She was quite certain there were no feelings left for her or the yesterdays they use to share anyway. Though, she understood, understood that tonight he needed her. That she had to push her feelings aside and be the best friend that he needed.

She got up from the couch and walked over to him silently she started to rub his back. He never turned his head to look at her only took comfort in his old partners touch. They both stay that way a while her hand eventually came to a rest on his shoulder and both of them just watch in silence as Ashley breathe.

"I don't know what to do Bones. I don't know how to tell Ashley that her mother has died." Silent tears made their way down his face. "How the hell am I going to do this alone? I shouldn't even be saying that should I? I should just be happy that Ashley is okay."

"There are no rules for emotions Booth. How you feel is simply how you feel, if you feel angry and distraught that Hannah is no longer with us that is perfectly normal. You don't have to feel any certain way and no one is here to tell you what you can and can't say. It's normal to wonder about the future, but Booth you don't have to do anything alone. You are the one that told me there is more than one type of family and I found it to be true. I hope you can too."

"Thanks Bones."

"Of course Booth."

Five in the morning came quickly when Ashley woke. Booth and Brennan were at her side in an instant. Her blue eyes searched the room and looked to her Auntie and Daddy. "Hey Ash." Said Booth as he looked into his daughter's baby blues.

"Daddy, I want Mommy." Booth's heart broke. "Auntie, where is mommy?" Booth held his breath knowing how direct Brennan was.

"She isn't here right now."

He exhaled as she finished her sentence glad she wasn't as direct with Ashley as he thought she was going to be.

"But Ange said I see her later." Ashley was confused asking and stating her thoughts all at the same time.

Brennan was happy Ashley was remembering yesterday and recovering quickly. She didn't know what to say. Ashley wanted more than Brennan, more than her Daddy or Angela. She wanted what every little girl wanted when they were scared or hurt, the one person that could make everything better- her mother. Brennan knew the feeling and felt terrible for her God daughter.

"Daddy? I want Mommy."

Brennan looked to Booth and he sighed shakily then proceeded to speak. "Ashley, you were in a car wreck with mommy and…" his voice hitched and his eyes pooled with water that he didn't allow to spill.

"…you and mommy were hurt, but mommy was hurt a lot worse the doctors fixed you but they couldn't fix mommy." Booth finished

Ashley didn't understand "Auntie I want Mommy." She sensed her daddy's fear and thought maybe her Auntie could provide an answer or get her mother for her.

Brennan looked to Booth and he nod yes. "Ashley, your mommy wants to see you but she can't see you anymore because she went to heaven." Brennan knew Booth had taught Ashley about heaven, both he and Hannah had shared the same religion. Ashley had been baptized and to mass.

Ashley was quiet a moment and Brennan proceeded. "She is with her mommy now." Brennan knew Hannah's mother passed away from cancer when Hannah was in her twenties. Both she and Booth had lost their mother young another trait she knew they shared.

"Mommy said grandma B dieded. Did my mommy dieded Auntie?" Ashley looked very worried and concerned. Booth couldn't hold back the tears anymore and let them silently flow down his face. Finally losing control he wept with his daughter.

"Yes Ashle-" Brennan tried to finish her sentence but couldn't as Ashley screamed "MOMMY! MOMMY!" while tears started to flow. Booth rushed in to embrace her and Brennan stood back watching as Ash screamed for more than Booth or she could give. As the two Booth's cry Brennan made a silent vow, she wouldn't let them go through this alone. Booth caught Brennan's eye over Ash's sea of tears and through his own. She almost couldn't bear to see him so distraught.

In that moment she knew no matter what mixed up feelings she still had left for him, they were her own problems. She was back in the states now and she had to face reality. She would have to get over it and suck it up, deal with her problems on her own. So what if Booth had moved on and loved another just as he said he was going to do. Though, deep down she didn't really expect him to move on, at least not so fast. Though, she would be there for him and Ashley no matter what. Simply because she was Bones and he was Booth and some things never change.