A/N: First of all I am so sorry it's taken me so long to update. The end of senior year has been very cruel to me. lol. But I am officially done as of yesterday! Yesss! So I spent last night watch the finale of American Idol and writing(YAY LEE! I actually used his version of hallelujah to inspire me for writing.) I feel so bad about the wait so this is a bit longer then usual. Hope you all like it!

Love ya! X O X O X O X O

Lesson Learned

"So remember," The doctor tells Sam, Dean and I, "No being alone for the two weeks. Eating, sleeping, even showers all need to be supervised."

I roll my eyes and bite my lip, not looking forward to the showering part of this scenario. Sure I will have a shower curtain as a barrier so I won't really have to be exposed, but it's still just weird! I get my last item of clothing into my suitcase and zip it up awkwardly with my one useful arm, carrying it over to where Sam and Dean are speaking to the Doc.

"I'm ready."

Sam puts an arm on my back, ready to lead me out of the room, but the doctor puts his arm out to stop us.

"Actually. I have to talk to your brothers about one more thing. Do you mind waiting outside for just one moment?"

I sigh at the tone that I find a bit condescending, but Sam nods his head and gives my arm a pat, "Go ahead Jenny. We'll be out in a second."

"Fine."

I offer a feeble goodbye to the doctor and exit the hospital room. I look down the hall, thinking of going down the hall to the lounge. However I hear the Doctor begin to speak and can't help but stall, wanting to listen.

"So I just wanted to make sure before you left that you understand that you need to pay a lot of attention to Jennifer in the coming months."

"We're aware of that Doc." Dean says in a way that I'm sure earned him a glare from Sam.

"She is very fragile right now. Try not to let her get too distant from others, but make sure that she doesn't try and put too much on her plate at once. I know that Dr. Lee will be seeing her weekly, but feel free to call him or myself at any time if you feel that anything is off."

Great! Now there is more inspiration for them to not give me any privacy in the months to come. I might as well just kiss the life I knew goodbye. Of course after everything I would be stupid to think that it would go back to the way it was before.

"…eavesdropper"

I turn quickly to see Anne by my side, a smirk on her face while she catches me in the act.

"Sorry. Just curious." I smile sheepishly.

"Sure girly. Come on. Let's go read some trashy magazines in the lounge."

Anne takes my suitcase from my hand and leads me out of the hallway. We get to the pediatric lounge and sit down on one of the couches, finding a good issue of US Weekly almost immediately. Anne tries to cheer me up by showing me some pictures of the always crazy Britney Spears, but I can't give her more than a small smirk of acknowledgement.

"We're all ready Jenny."

I look up to Sam and Dean with relief. Nothing sounds better than getting out of here right now.

"Hey Anne." Dean says as I stand up, no doubt adding his charming smirk that makes all the girls go weak in the knees.

"Hey guys. I was just keeping Jenny company."

"Thanks Anne," I turn to her as I grab my bag, "I'll see you on Wednesday for tutoring."

"Yep. Try to get in some reading before then, okay?"

"Can't wait."

Sam gives Anne a polite wave and smile, while Dean opts for another one of his grins. I just roll my eyes and walk off with the polar opposite brothers.

The car ride home is silent, everyone to nervous to think of something to say. I can see Sam attempt it a hand full of times, but he must realize that it sounds silly before it can reaches his lips. Dean doesn't try to speak as much, but he glances back at me in the rearview mirror almost every minute. Whenever I catch him looking he immediately averts his eyes, pretending to be upset about the person behind us driving too close to his baby.

I finally see the sight of our home and am overcome with a bittersweet feeling. On one hand I am thrilled to be somewhere familiar without the nagging doctors and nurses. However the house also holds some painful memories of the past, like my still open bedroom window and the skid mark on the ground where I fell from the tree.

I get out of the car with Sam and Dean, staring up at the intimidating two stories, unsure if I want to run in and jump on the couch or take off in the opposite direction.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump at the sudden contact, turning to face the culprit. Sam moves back, regret gracing his features immediately. I try and smile, to assure him that he didn't send me into some violent flashback of my assault.

"Sorry Sam. You surprised me."

He shakes his head immediately, "It's fine. You ready to go in?"

I nod slowly, as convincingly as possible. I walk up the stairs and let Sam unlock the door, Dean finally catching up to us with my bags in his arms.

The door opens and I step inside. Once I get in a smell the familiar aroma I can't fight the tears that come to my eyes. Not because it hurts too much, or because it reminds me off what happened. But because I thought I'd never smell that smell again, the mixture of Dean's cologne, my favorite perfume, and the incense that I buy all the time downtown. I quickly wipe them away, not wanting to scare the boys and make them think I that I'm having a meltdown.

"I'm actually am kind of tired. Do you mind if I crash on the couch?"

"You don't want to sleep in your room?" Dean asks.

"Well I just figure if you too have to keep me in sight it'll be easier if I'm on the couch."

Sam and Dean nod slowly, slightly uncomfortable and surprised that I brought up my psych watch. They don't seem to be in the process of forming words so I try and help them along, "So is it okay?"

Sam and Dean perk up immediately, "Oh yeah, of course."

I try and offer them a smile before I go to the couch, letting my body fall into the familiar cushions. I bury my head into the pillows and close my eyes, falling asleep as Sam and Dean settle down in the chairs around me, putting the television on quietly.

The smell of something cooking wakes me up, and I am surprised to see that it is already dark out. I sit up and want to smile at the sight of Sam asleep in his chair, a book in his lap.

The sound of something falling in the kitchen catches my interest and I stand up, giving my free arm a good stretch before heading out of the living room.

My heart is warmed at the sight, but I can't get a smile on my face as I walk closer. Dean making dinner, something he usually does at this house. But it feels different somehow, and I find it so caring and sweet.

Dean looks up and catches my eye, "Hey…How was your nap?"

"Uh…refreshing."

"Good. That's good." He plays awkwardly with the large spoon in his hands as I fumble my fingers.

"Well dinner is ready, so would you mind getting Sam?"

I nod, wanting to get to the eating part quickly. The idea of everyone's mouths being filled with food, preventing them from talking, sounds very appealing to me. I tap Sam gently on the shoulder and alert him about dinner, having him follow me into the kitchen where we sit at the table as Dean brings over the food.

"You made Chicken Parmigiana?" I look up at Dean.

"Well I figured since it's your first night back you should get your favorite meal."

I nod my head, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. I grab the plate that Dean makes for me and immediately take a bite, the taste buds going crazy in my mouth.

"This is so much better than hospital food." I chuckle shyly.

The food is gone from my plate before the blink of an eye. The taste of home cooked food really makes my stomach pleased. Food is the one of the things that I missed while in the hospital. The thing that I missed the most was taking a nice long shower, but since my suicide attempt I am not allowed to do anything without a watchful eye. And since there are no shower curtains in the hospital bathrooms I haven't done more than shampoo my hair in the sink for the two weeks. I am in desperate need of a Silkwood shower.

"How was your dinner?" Sam grabs my attention as he clears the table.

"Oh…It was great. Thanks."

Sam nods his head, still having to get used to my non-enthusiastic self. I stand up, walking to the counter where Sam and Dean are clearing up. It takes a few moments of me standing there awkwardly for them to look up, realizing I need something.

"Yeah Jenn?"

"Uh─Well─"

"Whatsup?"

"I kinda need to take a shower." I say awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck with my non-casted hand, "And the doctor said that I'm not allowed to take one without someone making sure I'm─ Well, that I don't─"

I can't really form the sentence without it sounding completely wrong in my head, so I just move one, figuring Sam got the picture.

"I need someone to wrap my cast."

"Oh right." Sam nods, I can tell he knows what I was saying and he loves the idea as much as I do, "I'll go get the cast cover."

He grabs the cover and pump from my hospital bag and has me sit down with him at the table, letting Dean pick up the cleaning slack. I remove my arm from the sling and Sam slides the cover over my lower arm before applying the pump. After all the air is suctioned out Sam gives my wrist a small pat.

"You're all set."

"Thanks." I point awkwardly to the stairs, "So─"

"Right. Let's go."

I walk off before Sam so he cannot see me curse silently to myself on the way up the stairs. I don't understand how the doctor thinks that smothering me to death is going to help my emotional state. But Sam is just doing what he thinks is best, and I don't want to be mad at him. I wouldn't mind giving the doctor a good punch though.

I walk into my bathroom, Sam right behind me, and look around at everything, the glass, the blood. The last time I was here I was a huge disaster, and all I can hope is that I never go back to that place, ever again. I look up at the broken mirror sadly, looking at my self in the small pieces on the edges, my appearance shocking. My eyes are dark and deeply set in, while my skin is a ghostly pale color with soft beige lips to match.

"Sorry we didn't get that fixed yet. We really never left the hospital."

I turn to Sam and I can see the look on his face, the one he has when he wants to have a big talk. But the thought of it is too much for me to deal with, so I ignore it.

"Can I use your shower?"

"Yeah, of course." He tells me and I quickly walk out of my bathroom and down to Sam and Dean's bathroom. As soon as I enter I walk to the shower and put the hot water on.

"Do you mind turning around?" I ask, not even looking him in the eye.

Sam nods his head and does as he's told, letting me discard all of my clothes before stepping into the steamy hot shower. I put a large amount of shampoo into my palm, washing it through my scalp and letting the excess suds clean my dirty skin. I scrub the soap deep into my body, cleaning away every bit of dirt and sweat. Finally I put in my conditioner, getting my hair nice and silky smooth.

"Maybe you could call Charlie tomorrow. See if she wants to stop by for an hour or something."

Charlie. I haven't even thought about her, which is pretty selfish considering I ruined her party and probably got her in trouble with the cops.

"Maybe." I say quietly, "I don't now if I want to see anyone."

"Why?"

"Because I just want to spend sometime alone." I answer with a small amount of attitude.

"Well Doctor Lee says─"

"I don't care what Doctor Lee said! I don't want to hang out with anyone tomorrow!"

The moment the out burst comes out of my mouth I regret it, tears making their way to my eyes. Leave it to me to go from being too shy to speak all the way to screaming in less than a minute.

I turn off the water, grabbing the large towel from the holder and wrapping it around me securely before stepping out to see a discouraged Sam.

"I didn't mean to yell." I apologize with tears.

"I know."

"I just─" A small sob escapes as my hands begin to shake and I sit down on the bathtub edge, "Nothing feels right. I don't feel like myself at all, and─ I don't know if I ever will."

"It's okay Jenn." A small tear is in his eye and I can hear in his voice as he tries to keep it from falling.

"I really hate this. I hate that I screwed everything up─"

"Hey." Sam stops me strongly, walking forward and sitting next to me on the bathtub, "It is not your fault."

I continue to shake my head, wiping the wet hair off of my face.

"Jenny, he is the one that did this. You had so much to deal with─ you did the best you could."

"No I didn't! I could have talked to someone! Instead I did what I always do; keep it to myself until I can't handle it!"

I finally break off into hysterics until Sam wraps me in his arms, resting his cheek on the top of my head. He roughly massages his fingers through my soaked hair as I grab onto his plaid shirt desperately, needing to feel close to him.

"It's okay, I'm right here." He soothes, "I'm not going anywhere."

When I wake up the next morning it takes me a moment to remember that I am no longer in the hospital, or even in my own bed. I spent my first night home in Sam's bed. It was either I stay in his room where we can both fit on his bed or he sleeps on the hardwood floor in my room. It wasn't really that hard of a decision to make.

I step onto the hardwood floor and walk to the bathroom Sam and Dean share. A few of my things are now located in here until my mirror gets fixed. I brush my teeth and throw my hair up into a ponytail, leaving only a few wasps of my wavy honey hair around my face.

I take in a deep breath before leaving for downstairs. However I barely make it halfway down the hallway when I realize I'm not allowed to go downstairs without Sam or Dean. Silently I curse myself, hating the rules of my new life, but not wanting to get in trouble for breaking them. Talking to myself in my head I pace back and forth, wondering what I should do. Certainly waking Sam or Dean would be rude, but I can't just sit and watch them sleep, can I?

"Are you talking to yourself?"

I lift my head up from my fidgeting hands to see Dean sitting up in his bed, watching me with amusement.

"Oh…a little bit I guess." My feet wonder their way into Dean's room as I talk, "I just have a small dilemma."

"Is everything okay?"

"Oh yeah." I assure him, nodding my head, "It's just that I woke up and wanted to go get some breakfast and watch TV, but…"

I break off ashamed but continue when Dean encourages me.

"But I realized that I can't do it with out you or Sam."

My head hangs embarrassed as I pick at the bottom of my black tee. I hate feeling like a psych ward patient in my own house, and while I may be able to cover my anger for now I can never shield this humiliation.

"Well I was just about to go make myself some breakfast. How does cereal sound?"

I smile instantly, knowing that it is well before Dean's normal wake up time. And he doesn't wake up early for almost anything.

"It sounds great."

I step out into the hallway, thankful that he didn't make me feel like his gesture is out pity at all. He didn't even give me some stupid brooding glance when I brought up my two week surveillance.

Dean walks behind me as I go down the stairs, a small smile on my cheeks. We get into the kitchen and I take a seat at the counter while Dean grabs the bowls, spoons, and milk. Then he goes to the cabinet and grabs my favorite cereal, Life, not even needing to ask if I was in the mood for it.

I pour myself a bowl as he sits down next to me, grabbing the box when I'm finished and making himself a hearty bowl.

"So what are you doing today?" Dean asks, taking a large bite of cereal.

"Umm─" I chuckle, "Nothing much, probably just a fun-filled day of watching television."

"Well if you don't mind I might join you. I feel like having a relaxing day."

"Well either you or Sam would have to anyway, so it doesn't bother me in the slightest." I say quietly, trying to add a joking smile at the end, but anyone can see that I don't find it too hilarious.

"The two weeks will be over before you know it kiddo. Don't worry about it."

I take a big bite of my breakfast and nod my head, knowing he is just trying to cheer me up.

"So, Uh─" Dean stumbles.

We take turns looking at each other, neither of us really knowing what to say. The silence was miserable, but I'm but I'm not positive talking will be any better.

"This is pretty awkward, isn't it?"

"A little." Dean tries to smirk.

"I'm sorry about that." I look down at my food feeling guilty before I get the guts to speak again, "Do you think maybe we could just act like the past few months never happened? Like everything is normal?"

"It sounds good, but" Dean stresses, "I think almost every single therapist in the world would say it's an awful idea."

"It would be nice if we could though." I sigh, "Erase everything. You could erase that waitress in Tampa."

"Oh man that rash was a bitch!" Dean says, and I can't help but laugh at his silly misery.

"See, it would be perfect!" I smile and get in the joking mood, "And then I could erase Ethan, and getting gonorrhea, and getting ra─"

The word dies on my lips, and my face turns painfully sad. I feel like a jagged knife is deep into my stomach. Was I just really going to turn that into some silly joke? A way to break the ice?

"Wow. Uh─"

I look up at Dean who hates the word coming up as much as I do.

"I hate this." I shake my head with tears in my eyes, "I really hate this."

"I know Jenny." Dean eases, running a tender hand over my hair.

"You know, I've done a lot of stupid shit in my life. But at least I made the mistake, I screwed everything up. But this time I didn't to it, I couldn't control it. I couldn't control any of it. I couldn't even─ I couldn't─"

My voice breaks off into a sob and Dean just gets off of his chair and takes me into his arms. He rubs his hand in circles between my shoulder blades, lulling my heaves to heavy breaths as I cry, tears burning my dry lips as they meet.

Later that night I sit on the couch with Sam next to me and Dean sleeping on the reclining chair. My eyes are close to shut when something new starts on TV, an episode of the Office. Immediately I perk up and pay attention to the show.

"Not so tired anymore?" Sam asks with a grin next to me.

"What can I say? It's a sickness."

We both chuckle, which only gets worse when Dwight says one of his classic lines that any fan of the show would recognize.

"I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted! No─ I didn't mean that. He'd probably just end up being a hero anyway."

"Oh my god!" I laugh at Sam's spot on impression. He can make fun of me all he wants, but I know he likes it just as much as I do.

"This really is the best show."

"I agree," Sam says, "But maybe not in the crazed fan way that you love it."

"Well what can I say? It has that effect on me."

He chuckles and without a thought I snuggle into his side and he puts his arms around my shoulder, resting back on the couch.

"I'm glad to be home." I smile, tightening my grip and taking in the smell of Sam's cologne.

"Well I'm glad your home. If anything ever happened to you─"

Sam breaks off and shakes his head, not liking even thinking about what he was speaking of. I personally don't like thinking about it either, being without Sam or Dean. Looking up at Sam it takes everything in me not to cry as he looks down at me with pure love, like the idea of being away from me might literally kill him.

"Well you'll never have to worry about anything happening to me. Cause I─ I made a mistake before. But it made me realize that what I have here─ with you and Dean─ I wouldn't trade it for anything, and I was stupid for almost giving it up."

I take a deep breath after I finish and smile at him, emotions making it difficult. I have so many feelings running through me, and when I look up at Sam I can see that it is no different for him. But I don't want to cry, not again. And Sam must be able to tell because he simply gives me a kiss on the forehead and returns to our previous position, lying back on the couch with his arm over my shoulder and my head lying on his chest.

Maybe everything won't have to be erased or ignored. Maybe we will just be okay. Maybe we will just be a family.

Hope you all liked it!