We sleep late the next day. It's the bright rays of sunshine streaming in through the bedroom window that finally force me to open my eyes. Lizzy is jostled awake as I climb out of bed and check the time on my communicuff. I curse as I realize what time it is.
"What is it?" Lizzy asked through a relaxed, sleepy haze.
"It's almost noon," I say.
"What's the problem? You're on pass until tomorrow, aren't you?"
"Yes, but there's a lot I needed to get done: check on Venus, examine the latest intel briefs for President Holmes, and then go back and re-read the report on Juno Bunton. There's got to be something we've missed." Juno Bunton was the last of the Sixteen to disappear, vanishing last month from her apartment in District 1 where she was working as an apprentice jeweler. Her father, Gaius, was the Treasurer of Panem and one of the most important members of the Council of 10, cooking the books of the Central Bank to amass a ridiculous fortune for each of the Councilors while making it seem that all the Districts were still not producing enough to meet their quotas. Embezzlement does not even begin to describe the intricacy of their operations. It was State Policy. Millions starved while Snow and his cronies earned more than they could spend in a hundred lifetimes.
Lizzy sees that I'm becoming distracted.
"And I have a hundred Intro to Psychology papers to grade that were all probably cut and pasted from the Central Data Net. Relax. You'll never solve anything until you at first settle your thoughts." She says beckoning me to come join her again in bed. I try to resist at first, but then realize that the warm sheets will win out.
She cozies up next to me and I immediately become lost in the rhythmic beating of her heart as I lay my head on her chest.
"I visited Venus yesterday."
"How is she?"
"Upset that she had to be dragged from her cabin in District 7. She misses the peace and quiet of the forest."
"And she was old enough to remember what this place was like before…" I add trailing off.
"She understands why you had to bring her here, though. She knows it's for her own good."
"Does she? When I first told her about the disappearances she almost sounded relieved. I think she's been expecting something to happen like this our whole lives. Now, it's like the wait is finally over and we can get it done with."
"You know she really doesn't believe that?"
"I hope not, but I'm not so sure."
"Either way, we should invite her over for dinner tonight. Get her out of that windowless apartment that's constantly being watched by security guards."
"Yeah, you're right. I've been a very bad brother lately."
"You've been a very busy brother lately. Tell you what, I'll even make my famous fish-head stew." I grimace a bit as Lizzy says those words.
"You know I hate that stuff, right?" Lizzy glares back in my direction but then gets her trademark smirk.
"Yeah, but your sister doesn't," I shake my head but she just smiles. "Also, I went ahead and reserved the Spym for tomorrow morning at our usual time."
"Thank you. That was another thing I had to do," I say finally picking myself up toward the bathroom.
The Spym is another Capitol Tradition that survived the Revolution. A combination of the words, "Spa" and "Gymnasium" most of the larger buildings in the Capitol have one in their basement, but even the poorest blocks have a public one that everyone attends on a regular basis. In the Dark Days, there was no shortage of Avoxes to man the hundreds of massage rooms, saunas, and relaxation pools that catered to the Capitol's never ceasing desire for pleasure. The Avoxes are long gone, but the decadence remains, though in a far more muted form.
I refused to attend at first not wanting to deal with the personal connotations that would arise, but Lizzy, who loved having a place this far inland where she actually could have a decent swim, finally convinced me and then I was hooked. Both of us are early risers and since most other citizens don't attend until the evening, the Spym became our quiet place to build up a sweat and ready ourselves for the challenges of the day.
The next morning dawns and we pass from the elevator through the frescoed entrance to the Spym. Everything is still wonderfully quiet as the attendant hands a towel to Lizzy and me and wishes us a relaxing session.
"Don't get too angry," Lizzy whispers as she gives a quick peck to my lips and immediately heads to the jet pool. She saw that when I picked up my combatives bag upstairs that it would be one of those mornings. I veer to the right into the main gymnasium. It is deserted, just how I like it.
The heavy punching bag in the corner is an old enemy. I drop my gear on the floor, strip down to my tank top and shorts and then slip on my gloves. I steady myself, imagine the bag has come to life and begin to land punch after punch on its cracked, brown leather surface. I exhale with every strike. The blows become a channel through which my inner anxiety reaches the surface.
Bam, Bam, Bam, the strikes grow harder and faster. My mind drifts back to the conversation that I had the previous night with Venus:
My sister arrives almost half an hour late. However, this is not surprising considering that punctuality has never been one of her strong suits. I open the door and she immediately pushes pass me and straight toward the dining room. She is followed by her two body guards.
"Why don't you wait outside, guys?" They nod and quietly exit the room. "How're you doing, V?" I ask as if I didn't already know the answer. My sister is barely ten years older than me, but her long brown hair is already streaked with gray. I walk over to where she has sat down and hand her a glass of wine which I know is her favorite.
"If I had wanted to stay imprisoned with you, Ares, I would have chosen to stay in the Capitol rather than have you drag me back here."
"This place isn't a prison any more than your hideaway in the woods, and I didn't drag you back here, V. You know it was necessary for your safety. After Juno disappeared we knew we didn't have a choice."
"Then you could have at least made it a little more civilized than having a team of armed men show up at the door in the middle of the night. I was sure that my time had finally come."
"Well, if you had a phone installed in your cabin like I had asked you last year than we could have done things a little differently," I say not hiding my exasperation.
"So I can have people calling me whenever they want, breaking into my concentration to serve their purposes? You know that the security service would just tap it anyway." I love her but she frustrates the hell out of me. "I think we were very accommodating considering they even let you gather up your clay and tools before flying you back." Venus is actually an incredibly talented sculptor. A few of her works even have made it into museums around Panem…under pseudonyms, of course.
"Accommodating," she spits out under her breath. "That's all this country has ever been to us, hasn't it? They accommodated us by letting us live. They accommodated us by letting us disappear into the wilderness for the remainder of our short and pathetic lives. Well, now someone else is accommodating us by finally putting an end to our suffering. I just wish they would get it over with already. Death can't possibly be this unpleasant."
This last comment sends me over the edge. I grab the wine glass from her hand and throw it with all my might into the living room wall. Lizzy runs in from the kitchen, and Venus's bodyguards crash in through the front door.
"We're fine!" I scream as I wave for them to go back outside. Lizzy grabs my outstretched arm.
"Ares, don't you think that's enough?" she hisses at me. Lizzy hates it when I lose control.
"No, I don't think so," I say to Lizzy before turning back to my sister. "I think you know exactly how unpleasant death is, Venus, considering that's all the entertainment we had as children. Surely, you must remember how unpleasant it must have been for the tributes from the districts to get ripped apart by furry mutant squirrels, die in clouds of poisonous fog, or be burned alive by flowing lava?"
"You know that's not what I meant…" Venus tries to defend herself but I cut her off.
"Are you sure? Because that sounds a lot like Grandpa Snow's old line of thinking. The lives of the District Folk are so meaningless and pathetic that I might as well spend my time looking for ways to humiliate and torture them!"
"You bastard!" Venus shrieks back at me.
"Ares, that's enough!" Lizzy shouts at me. The world comes back into focus as I calm down a little.
"I'm sorry. But we're Snows," I say as quietly as I can. "If we ever hope to rejoin this country on equal terms we have to stop thinking that we can somehow justify the death of innocent people. Even if it's our own…"
What Venus says next just hurts even though I secretly believe she is right.
"But we're not innocent, are we, Ares?"
Lizzy's fish-head stew was eaten in silence. Then Venus went home. I can't even have a pleasant meal with my sister anymore. The world just keeps pushing in.
As I continue to punish the bag, both for the sins of others and my own. I am conscious that I am now drenched in sweat. My cotton tank top sticks to my skin and rivers are flowing down in front of my eyes but I do not stop; not yet. I end every punching bag session the same way.
I stare directly at the bag in front of me. I begin to picture a face forming on the surface of the brown leather. I've only seen this face in pictures, but it reminds me of my own and I am disgusted by it. The only things I do not recognize are the surgically enhanced puffy lips and the eyes…the snake-like eyes that must be more demon than man. The rest of his body takes shape on the bag; a white suit with a rose tucked into the lapel. Finally, a handkerchief tinged red with blood tucked into pocket.
My blows fall harder and harder. I strike at the body first, then to the face. I try to imagine what it would be like to feel the bones crunching under my knuckles; to see blood pour from his mouth and nose. Finally, it is time to land the death blow. I rear back, rocking all my weight onto my back foot. Then, in a flash I explode forward, landing every single ounce of power into a one inch square in the center of that evil face. The bag flies backward and the face is gone. I am alone again.
I wipe the sweat from my head with my towel as I walk toward the jet pool. Its entire heated surface is obscured by frothing bubbles hiding the bottom from view. I simply drop my bag at the edge, remove my shoes, and then dip my feet under the water. I look at my communicuff. This usually takes a while. She likes to play.
Fifteen, then twenty seconds pass.
"You're not scaring me," I yell loud enough so that it can be heard under the water. Thirty seconds pass and still nothing. Finally, just shy of a minute, I've had enough.
"Lizzy!" I yell. Then, a head of sopping wet red hair breaks through the bubble screen.
"I didn't even scare you a little bit?" Lizzy asks.
"I swear you must be part fish."
"Maybe I am. Who knows what the Capitol's scientists have done to the Odair's DNA over the generations?" I know she is joking but the realization that it is entirely within the realm of possibility that she might be right momentarily horrifies me. I push the thought of having children with scales and gills out of mind. "Did you get out what you needed to get out?" she asks hopefully.
"For the most part. I guess I just feel so powerless from this whole situation. Like I have no control over anything anymore."
"You know you owe a Venus an apology?"
"Yeah, I know. I keep forgetting that she's spent the last 16 years in a one room log cabin alone with her thoughts."
"More importantly she hasn't found anyone to help her focus on what really matters."
"I guess I'm lucky in that regard," I say messing up Lizzy's hair even more. She rapidly paddles ten feet back into the pool.
"I think you just need a good swim to sort things out. Always works for me, and I don't have to worry about bruised and bleeding knuckles."
"I'm not from District 4, and I'm not part fish."
"Well, if you're scared of water, I understand." Lizzy already realizes this isn't the case but knows exactly how to push my buttons.
"C'mon, I'm all sweaty."
"So am I."
"Fine," I say stripping off my tank top and pushing off the ledge into the bubbles. The effect of the warm, swirling water on my sore muscles is immediate. She swims over and wraps me up in her arms and legs. I have to tread water for the both of us.
"See, isn't this nice."
"Yeeesss," I say not wanting to be too agreeable.
We spend the next half hour chasing each other around the pool, diving above and below the water laughing and splashing like two small children blissfully ignorant of a harsh and unforgiving world. I don't even want to think of what my life would be like if I had decided to skip the lecture of Elizabeth Odair that one day six years ago. Would I be as lost as my sister is now? Totally jaded by life and actually looking forward to the possibility of an early death? Could that be even called life?
Suddenly, my communicuff starts beeping on my wrist. It's 0700.
"I've got to go," I say looking into Lizzy's eyes.
"I know. Go," Lizzy say nodding toward the edge of the pool. I swim back to my things and hoist myself out of the water.
"Are you going to stay?" I ask as I towel off.
"Just a few more minutes, not quite ready to get out of the water yet."
"Alright, just don't grow flippers while you're in there!" I say turning and walking toward the men's locker room.
"Oh, you be quiet!" Lizzy yells after me giggling. "Just be sure you don't take too long in the shower yourself! You know how she can't stand it when you're late."
Lizzy is right, of course. The President of Panem hates to be kept waiting.