Author's Note: Well I was away from the internet for the week so I guess you get a longer chapter this time. I thought about splitting it into two chapters, but I figured why bother. There is a little bit of T rated-ness. There will be M in later chapters.
Joan was worried about Auggie. He seemed distracted all day. Obviously he was worried about Annie. She was still missing. Joan already had people watching the Brooks' house, but Annie was smart, she wouldn't come home until she wanted to.
Joan had also put flags on every one of Annie's aliases but Annie was resourceful, if she wanted to get back to Washington D.C. she would. Joan wanted to say as much to Auggie, but she didn't know how he would react. Annie had told Jai she was taking the week off. So Joan was assuming that she would either be back in a week or she wouldn't be back at all.
She felt like she'd gotten to know her newest operative fairly well over the last few months. She hated how they had used Annie to draw Ben out of hiding. If she could go back and do it again, she would have told Annie right from the beginning who Ben was. She didn't think that Annie would go rogue. She had her family to think about and anyone could see the almost relationship forming between Annie and Auggie; except maybe Annie and Auggie.
Joan liked Annie. The rookie agent reminded her of herself at a younger age. The greater good would win out with Annie. But Auggie wasn't taking the whole situation well. He'd been late for the first time that Joan could remember. He didn't have his head in the game.
She decided that it simply wouldn't do. She made her way down to his office.
"What can I do for you today Joan?" He said halfheartedly, not even a hint of smart-ass in his tone.
"Can I see you in my office for a minute?" She asked feeling like a high-school principal calling a unruly teenager into her office.
Auggie was terrified. Joan knew something was up. He was sure of it.
"No problem." He said standing up to follow her to her office. He couldn't help but think as they walked, that he was going to be in so much trouble for helping Annie. He was so worried that he almost missed the chair in Joan's office. He clumsily sat down hoping that she hadn't seen his mistake.
As he sat there he tried to school his features into a look of nonchalance.
"Auggie." Joan said at last breaking the silence. "I can't help but notice how distracted you've been all day."
This was it, he thought. He was about to get fired or at least suspended. He desperately tried not to look guilty.
"I know you're worried about Annie, but we've done all we can. We've got people watching her house and we've flagged her at the airports. If she comes home we'll find her." Joan said all of this with real concern.
Auggie mentally sighed in relief. Joan had mistaken his distractedness for worry. "Are you sure there's nothing we can do?" He asked playing the worried friend. "Have you checked her banking?"
"We've checked but she took out a lot of cash 30 hours ago and there hasn't been any activity since. She's too smart to lead us to her that way. I've decided other than the precautions we have in place to give her the week off. I'm confident she'll come back to us." Joan smiled at the end, but Auggie could tell that she wasn't sure.
He thought perhaps Joan was just as worried about Annie as he would be if he didn't know that she was sleeping at his apartment at that very moment. He nodded hoping Joan could see him.
"Auggie. How would you like the next week off?" She said out of nowhere. And he looked at her skeptically.
"I guess." He said slowly, suspiciously. "You sure this place can deal without me for a week?" He asked in return. He couldn't believe how much better this meeting was going compared to what he'd expected.
Joan gave a quick chuckle at his remark. "I'm sure we'll manage. You've worked really hard lately Auggie. Just take the time to relax. Don't worry, I'll call you personally if we hear anything about Annie." So there it was. He was free to go. He hadn't been found out and Annie was still safe to take some time off.
He returned to his desk and finished up what he'd been working on and checked again that no one had seen what he'd done the day before. After that he headed home.
Annie rolled over for the thousandth time. She had gotten some sleep during the day. But it had been restless and full of that same dream in which she not only had to watch Ben die in her arms, but he then turned into Auggie. She couldn't stand the idea that he would be in trouble because of her. But she was staying in his apartment; she was hiding from the government with him. He would be in so much trouble if Joan or anyone found out what he'd done with the passport and ID.
She tried desperately to get her thoughts to quiet down again. She tried counting down from 100. It was something that had always helped her fall asleep. She got down to about 84 when she had a thought. How was all of this affecting Auggie? But she didn't get very far into the thought. She continued counting 83…82…81…80…79
She was in the helicopter holding Ben. But this time the helicopter landed on a different rooftop. They were at Langley. Suddenly a swat team was surrounding the helicopter. They pulled Ben away from her and he stood up. He was fine with a knowing smile on his face. 'I can't believe she fell for it.' He chuckled to the swat team. They all sneered at her.
She couldn't take it. She couldn't believe he was alive and saying something like that. She ran inside and suddenly she was in the DPD walking through the bull-pen but everyone was pointing and whispering to each other. They were all ashamed for her that she'd trusted Ben. She spun around and everyone was watching her, everyone except Auggie. He was at the computer with headphones around his neck typing away.
She walked into his office. He stood and pulled her into a hug. 'I'm so glad your okay' was all he said. He held her and it was so nice she didn't want to let go. With the whole world against her she knew Auggie was on her side.
But then he was kissing her passionately. She didn't pull away. She kissed him back. And suddenly they weren't in the DPD or his office. They were in his apartment. 'I want you.' She heard herself say. And she did. She wanted his hands everywhere she wanted to explore him. At her words, he pulled her shirt over her head and began to stroke her overheated skin slowly with his hands while moving his kisses to her neck and her shoulder.
She was lost in the sensations and before she knew it they were both wearing nothing at all. And then they were in the bed and he was driving her wild with his hands and his mouth. She wanted him so badly she begged and pleaded until she was yelling his name.
But suddenly she was running to the helicopter and he was shot in the back just like Ben had been. And She was holding him in her arms watching him die and yelling his name again and again.
She woke up suddenly unable to breath unable to process the dream. Where had that come from? She rarely had sex dreams and never had she had one about Auggie. They were friends. But wow! It had been a really good dream, until the last part anyway. Sure Auggie was good looking. She would have to be blind not to see that. But they had never ventured anywhere near dating, let alone what she'd just dreamt.
She was still hung up on Ben and he was obviously not over Natasha. She remembered how hurt he'd been after he let her go. He'd been so angry with himself for using her feelings using his feelings. Hell Annie wasn't sure how he was taking it. He'd told her everything about Natasha. But they had never talked much about how he felt about how things ended.
She needed his advice on how to get over Ben. He was probably the most qualified to give advice. Of course Natasha was still alive, but he would never see her again. With that thought, Ben's face flashed through her mind. Every expression she'd seen in their three weeks together and a few from the last week. And the image she could never get rid of. Him in her arms dying, and then Auggie in her arms dying.
She knew it wasn't real. But it seemed so real. She glanced at her watch. Four o-clock. She still had an hour or two before Auggie got home. She decided she wouldn't be getting anymore sleep in that time. She hopped into the shower hoping to vanquish some of the images floating around in her head.
As the water heated her skin though, she couldn't help but relive parts of her most recent dream. She could almost feel Auggie's hands caressing her body slowly and sensually. She shook her head violently. No. No. No. Don't go there Annie. She finished with the shower as quickly as she could careful to replace things exactly where she had found them.
She realized as she dried off after her shower, that she didn't really have anything to wear. Auggie had said something about clothing in a bag. She wrapped herself in a towel and made her way out to the living room to find the clothing. There were two or three outfits in the bags of clothing and miraculously all of them fit perfectly. She wondered how Auggie had guessed her size.
She chose a pair of Jeans and a casual blouse. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down on the couch after making sure again to place things where she had found them. She sat there drinking her tea trying to sort through what she was thinking. She wasn't even sure she had fully accepted that Ben was dead. She knew it was true but she still felt like it had happened in a dream.
By the time she'd finished her tea, her hair was dry and she hadn't really gotten anywhere in her thinking. She had never really dealt with the death of someone close to her before, let alone under current circumstances. She didn't know what she was supposed to feel or think. She didn't even know what she was supposed to do.
She was sitting there holding the empty mug when the door opened. She nearly jumped out of her skin. She was glad that Auggie couldn't see how jumpy she was. She'd been so deep in thought that she'd lost track of time.
"Hi Auggie." She greeted standing up to take the mug to the sink.
"Annie." He smiled. "You're up. How are you feeling?" He walked straight at her moving fluidly through his apartment. She didn't see a cane in his hand he must have left it by the door. She felt awkward standing in his kitchen with him especially after the dream she'd had.
"I don't even know how I'm feeling?" She admitted. She made a decision right then not to lie to Auggie. She would tell him anything he asked. He'd been so helpful and so nice letting her stay with him and everything. The least she could do was be honest with him.
"I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but I don't think there's a rule book. You don't have to feel anything if you don't want to." He said this so calmly and with so much honest empathy that Annie hugged him.
"How do you always know exactly what to say?" She said quietly. She realized quickly though that hugging him reminded her again of her dream. She backed away slowly and she could feel her cheeks heating up. Why did she have to have that dream?
"So how did you sleep today?" Auggie asked.
"Not so good." She replied. She tried desperately not to look at his hands and his lips. She tried not to remember the dream, and instead she ended up remembering the end of the dream, Auggie dying in her arms.
"I'm guessing by the awkward silence that you don't want to talk about it?" He said with the self-deprecating kind of humor that he always had.
"No, it'll probably be good to share. It just might be hard." She said. "With all the traveling I did, I never really stopped to make a whole lot of friends, and I can't tell my sister about this. You're really the only person I can talk to." She couldn't believe she was doing this. But she'd committed herself to telling him.
"Well the CIA does have some very expensive shrinks on the payroll." He said jokingly. It worked though. She laughed.
"Do you think we could eat before therapy?" She asked, changing the subject. "Let me make you something, a sandwich maybe?"
At this he laughed. "No. You can owe me a sandwich later. Why don't we make something that goes better with wine? I have a nice 06 Chianti Classico that I've been saving for emotional trauma. What about Italian? I make a mean spaghetti." He finished with his trademark crooked smile.
"That sounds wonderful." She couldn't help but smile. Auggie was perfect company for when she was upset.
So they spent the next hour making spaghetti sauce from scratch and talking about anything other than Ben. As they cooked, they opened Auggie's bottle of Chianti and each had a glass or two. Annie was so impressed by Auggie. She'd seen him function at work fairly well for someone who couldn't see, but here in his apartment; it was almost like he could see. He was so familiar with his surroundings and so confident in his movements, that she was mesmerized watching him.
When they finally sat down to eat Annie was impressed again at the meal that they had created. Her sister was such a good cook, but Annie had never been exceptional in the kitchen. As they finished up their spaghetti, she finally decided it was time to open up.
"So…" she started unsure how to start. "I've told you all about meeting Ben and the three weeks we spent together and how he left." She guessed that was the best place to start. "How much did Jai tell you?... About Ben's death?"
"He just told us that he had died. He didn't specify." He shook his head and placed his hand on top of hers on the table. How he knew her hand was there, she would never know.
She breathed in carefully letting him give her strength through his simple gesture. She told him everything that had happened in Sri-Lanka and how it had felt to hold Ben in her arms as he died… "And now every time I go to sleep, I can see him I can feel him dying again." She was on such a roll that she barely hesitated to tell him the rest of the usual dream but she did take a second to down the rest of her third glass of wine. "And then He's you. I mean I see you dying in my arms. It's hard enough to lose Ben, but seeing you die too. … It's…" She didn't realize that she'd been crying as she spoke until a tear landed on her plate.
"It's okay Annie. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Auggie said carefully putting an arm around her. He wasn't sure what to think. Annie had seen him die in her dreams. Did she see the same comparisons that he'd made between himself and Ben? Would she ever be able to trust him if she thought of him as another Ben? Poor Annie. This must be so terrifying for her. Auggie got the feeling that she'd never done this before. She'd never experienced grief, heartbreak maybe but not grief.
He had lost loved ones, but in loosing his sight, he'd experienced grief. It could be suffocating unless you had support. He was so grateful that he could be there for Annie to comfort her however possible. He hadn't realized before that Annie had never talked about good friends outside of work. She really only had her sister, and now she had him.
He made a silent vow that he would do everything in his power to help her through this. But like he'd told her there was no rulebook. There was no telling how she was dealing with this.
He figured it was time for another subject change. "How about some dessert?" He smiled. "I have all the fixings for sundaes."
"Sure Auggie. Sounds good." Her voice still had a hint of sadness, but he could tell that he'd at least cheered her up a little with his suggestion.
As he took things out and began piecing together two deluxe sundaes, she washed the dishes from dinner. He caught himself smiling as he heard her putting dishes away without asking him where they went. Either she had investigated his apartment earlier in the day or she had been paying more attention while they cooked than he had. More likely it was the latter. He knew she was observant, you had to be to do what they did.
There was something so natural about the way the two of them moved around his kitchen together in companionable silence. He was so used to being there alone, but Annie just seemed to fit. He shook his head shaking those thoughts away. She had just lost the man she loved. He had no right to think of her that way.
"What's wrong?" She asked. "You're shaking your head.
He froze, trying desperately to think of something. "Oh I just realized that I'm going to have to buy more chocolate syrup. This is the end of this bottle." He hoped that his lie wasn't as transparent as it felt. He wished for the billionth time that he could see Annie Walker. He knew she was beautiful, that had been apparent as soon as he'd heard other men talk to her. "Just a bit of whipped cream and a cherry, and we'll be in business." He smiled adding the last touches to the sundaes.
"Excellent." She said. She reached past him for her sundae and he moved to pass it to her at the same time. They bumped into each other, both making apologies. But there was something about the touch. Auggie wasn't sure how to classify it. Maybe it was the two or three of wine they had each had. Maybe it was just his imagination, but he'd practically felt electricity.
Suddenly their adept kitchen dance had gotten awkward. He told her to go ahead and turned to get a spoon but as he turned back, he bumped into her again and they had to grab each other to steady themselves again making apologies.
They both stood in the kitchen enjoying their sundaes quietly. When Auggie was almost done, he heard Annie scrape the bottom of her bowl and place it on the counter. Then she did the most unexpected thing. She giggled.
"Auggie." She said still giggling. It was the most adorable sound he'd ever heard.
"What." He was confused.
"You have a bit of chocolate on your cheek." She said with a little less of a giggle. He could tell she was trying not to laugh.
"Oh." He placed his own bowl on the counter and swiped at his cheek hoping to get rid of the chocolate.
"No, it's right here." Annie said. Suddenly she was right in front of him, practically leaning into him. He felt her thumb brush against the opposite cheek of the one he'd tried to clean. He felt it again. It wasn't just his imagination. Something had changed in their dynamic.
He was tempted to do something stupid like lean in and kiss her, but he held back. If he were mistaken she would hate him for it. But her hand had not left his cheek.
Then something miraculous happened. She kissed him. He hadn't been mistaken. It was slow and soft, hesitant even. And then it was over. He felt her back away "I'm sorry Auggie I… I just…" She was about to walk away and he calmly took her hand.
"It's fine." He said. "I almost kissed you myself." What was he thinking? What were they both thinking? Ben was dead. She'd loved Ben. Auggie placed his hand on her cheek and felt it burning. She was blushing. He smiled. "Are you okay?"
"I… I actually had one other dream that I didn't tell you about." She said slowly.
Author's Note: so there it is: my reading week chapter. I hope you enjoyed it.