I knocked on the door of the Swan house. I was pretty sure Alice was inside. I hadn't seen her yet. Jealousy plagued me, but at the same time, I was glad Bella had her. What were they doing before I decided to come? It didn't matter, Alice knew I was here by now.

"Hello, Jasper," Charlie greeted me. "Good day at work?" He seemed pleased to see me. It had been a while since I'd made a public visit.

I smiled and shook his hand. "Not bad. You?"

"Pretty slow actually. Come inside?" He opened the door wider for me.

"Actually, it was such a nice night, I was hoping Bella might like to go for a walk." I pointed out the door where the evening sky, though cloud covered, was tinged a lovely pink.

"It is. Let me get Bella for you." He left the door open as he turned and I entered onto the mat. I saw Sue in the kitchen and nodded to her. The usual wave of anger and resentment came my way.

"Mrs. Clearwater," I greeted her formally. "My condolences..."

"Don't even," she snapped.

I looked at my boots. "I saw Seth today," I told her, not lifting my head.

Her icy anger melted in sadness. I raised my eyes just enough to see her sink heavily into a chair. "How is he?" she asked in a whisper.

"Okay. He's met a nice girl, Julie. They seem to be helping each other." I waited for Sue's reaction, more grief.

"I've lost all of them," she whispered.

I tried to bolster her but didn't want to push her emotions too much. She did need to grieve, just not for Seth. He wasn't lost.

Charlie came back down before I could say anything more. "Whoa, what's wrong?" He all but ran to Sue, wrapping his arms around her. I felt the love pouring from him to her. "What happened?" Sue leaned heavily on him, tucking her face into his shoulder.

"Seth's at the shelter." I told Charlie.

"Right," he grumbled, anger spiking for a moment. It faded very quickly. "But he's safe there, Sue. At least he's in good hands. Right, Jasper?" He looked to me for reassurance.

"Absolutely. Mae is an excellent psychologist, and Julie is having a great effect on him as well."

Sue didn't lift her head, sniffling. Charlie stroked her hair and I felt Sue's grief ease with his touch. He was having the same effect on her that Julie had on Seth. I was glad they each had someone to lean on. Although worry dominated his emotions, Charlie definitely took pleasure from having a woman rely on him the way Sue was. He was happy being a protector and a source of support and stability.

"Um... am I interrupting?" Bella asked, creeping from the stairway.

I chuckled. "No. I think we both should get out of here." I didn't know if Charlie's touches would escalate once we left, but they sure as hell wouldn't while we were here. I did know that Sue craved more.

"Walk with me?" I asked, cocking my head to the door.

"Sure," Bella said with smile, taking my hand and kissing my cheek. "Be back soon, Dad, Sue."

Bella continued to hold my hand as I led her down the path into the woods behind her house. I took comfort from it. I had no idea what to expect after my dismissal the night before. She certainly didn't seem to be behaving any differently.

"So?" she asked before we'd gone far.

"So?" I echoed, looking at her. She was curious and slightly amused.

"So you don't usually take me for walks." She smiled.

"Yes. I wanted to talk with you." Mentally I added, and I needed a private place that wasn't a bedroom. I kept up the pace as my mind searched for a tactful way to bring up Jacob.

A wolf howled, giving me what I needed. "Seth is with the pack tonight."

"He is?" Bella's curiosity turned to concern. "How is he? Sue is worried sick."

I nodded. "He's well enough. He feels betrayed by his mother and abandoned by his sister."

"But they-" Bella began to argue.

I held up my hand to stop her. "I know that, but he's not ready to hear it. That's why I wanted to make sure Jacob knew he was phasing tonight."

"Good idea," Bella murmured.

I shrugged. "I don't know how much good it will do, but there's a good chance they will help him."

Bella nodded.

"Jacob seemed to think I was calling for another reason." I let the sentence hang.

"Shit," Bella swore. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you or Alice. I'm still not sure what to make of it." I felt the conflicting feelings she contended with; fear, confusion, curiosity, hope, determination. "I'm just not ready to deal with it yet, with Jacob or anyone else."

"I understand." I pushed her hair behind her ear.

"You do?" she asked incredulous.

Then her ire rose. I braced myself.

"How can you understand when I don't? Please tell me, wise old one. Obviously the simple human has no hope of discerning the answer for herself."

The words stung, but I was sure she didn't mean all of them. Still, had I made her think she was simple? Did I flaunt my age?

I shook off the hurt and stopped her. "I understand why you didn't say anything," I clarified.

She flushed, instantly embarrassed. "Oh." She looked down, shamed. "I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Don't take it back," I told her "Do I really make you feel inferior?"

"Nothing blatant, no. Just a side effect of me not being fast, strong and indestructible." She chuckled at the end and I laughed with her.

"Well, I may have walked this Earth longer than you, but my experience only comes close to matching your intuition. You have shown me time and again how amazing you are."

"You don't have to flatter me," she complained. "Thank you."

I kissed her temple and took her in my arms. "Any time." After hugging her a while, I had to ask, "Do you think talking might help you sort it out? With Jacob, I mean."

She sighed heavily. "I don't know." She pushed back a little and I let go. She made her way to a stump and sat. "It's confusing. He loves me; that's obvious." She rolled her eyes. "But he still can't accept what I want to be. On the other hand, he loves me and only me." I tried not to be stung by the words, but it was hard. "I still can't believe he kissed me." She put her face in her hands with a groan. "He was so nervous and awkward about it, too. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I wasn't about to let him get away with grabbing me and kissing me either. So I slapped him," she giggled as she said it. "Classic Hollywood slap."

"Carlisle's proud of you for doing it yourself, this time," I teased.

She laughed more loudly. "I'll bet he is. Jake didn't quite know what to make of it. I'm pretty sure he didn't even feel it. I'm such a girl." She groaned.

I chuckled again. "Yes, yes you are," I said in a sultry drawl, and she laughed again.

"You would know," she choked out. She sobered up, though. "I'm sorry I got so upset last night, Jasper."

"Do you want to talk about that?" I asked, crouching beside her.

She shook her head. "I'm not sure I quite understand that either. I know it's more than... frustration." Her eyes met mine and I tried to name the emotion she emitted. It was a longing, but not a hunger, more envy?

"I don't understand," I told her with a smile, knowing she'd like to see me flustered.

"Good! You don't understand everything," she teased.

I laughed loudly. "Certainly not, and women least of all."

She laughed, too. "Thanks, Jasper. Thanks for not being upset with me for not telling you."

"I won't say I wasn't hurt, but talking to you, I can see why you didn't." I kissed her forehead. "Thanks for telling me."

She laughed again. "Eventually? The long way around?"

I snorted. "Yeah, and telling me next to nothing?" I teased with her. "It means a lot that you're willing to tell me."

"You're easy to talk to, Jasper. Don't the kids at the shelter tell you that all the time?"

It was my turn to be embarrassed. She was right of course. "They do. I just thought, our past might make it harder for you. I'm glad it doesn't." She was shaking her head as I finished.

"Not at all. I mean, I know there's a chance that I'll tell you something you aren't ready to hear, but aside from that, I don't really censor myself."

I was so glad to hear that, I had to share it with her. Her smile broadened even more.

"It's true!" she enthused. "Don't I tell you exactly what I want all the time?"

I laughed harder and doubled over. "Yes, yes you do. And you can be rather insistent."

She chuckled, not quite as amused as I was. "Not that it sways you at all."

I kissed her cheek this time. "I wouldn't say not at all." I groaned this time. "God, I wish I could."

"Maybe I should let Jake take care of the problem," she suggested, waggling her eyebrows.

Jealousy ripped through me and when she gasped I knew I'd let it out. Something about her suggesting it was worse than considering the possibility for myself. It made it more real, too real. I wasn't about to let that Dog touch my girl. I fought it back.

"Sorry about that."

"Whoa. Is it anyone or just Jacob?" she asked.

I shook my head. "It's you. I'd mentioned that exact possibility to Carlisle and didn't react like this. He did," I told her with a smirk and her jaw dropped. "But when you say it..." I shrugged, unable to explain.

"It stops being an idea," she supplied. Her intuition really was amazing. I nodded. "Well, I was joking. I couldn't do that to Jacob. I couldn't use him like that." She looked at her feet, swinging them.

Relief washed over me and I felt sick for it. I really had no claim to her. Why should it matter to me if she had a passing interest or a deep relationship with another man? It shouldn't, but it did.

She shook her head a little. "It doesn't matter. I'll get through the next few weeks and then I'll find some nice anonymous college boy to use and lose."

She said it flippantly, with a smile, but the jealousy raged almost as hot. I didn't want anyone else to be with her. I was able to contain it this time, and she jumped up, turning the way we'd come.

"It's getting dark," she commented.

"I suppose it is. And you have class in the morning." I took her hand again for the walk back.

As we approached, my hearing tipped me off. "Let's swing around the block one more time."

"Are you kidding?" she asked, eyes wide as saucers, looking up at her father's window.

I shook my head. "I don't know what they're doing, but I know they don't want to be interrupted." The sounds of smacking lips was interspersed with whispers and moans that I could only hear through the open window. I was also close enough to feel love, lust and a need for comfort pouring from them. At least they were providing for each other.

"I can't believe it," Bella whispered, walking down the sidewalk. "Harry just-"

"Don't judge," I reminded her.

She nodded. "I shouldn't. Seth guessed didn't he? That's why he ran."

"You are a brilliant woman, Bella." I only wished she were still my brilliant woman. "The man who gets you is very lucky."

I felt her heart drop. "Jasper?"

"It's not me." I couldn't hide the hurt I felt. I wanted her so much. But it was greedy. I had Alice. Alice was so different from Bella, but so wonderful in her own way. They were excellent counterpoints to one another, one more reason why we were so whole together.

Her lip trembled and she shook her head. "No, I don't think it is." A tear slipped from her eye. "I'm sorry."

"Shhhh." I pulled her close and hugged her. "It hurts, but you can't help that. Do what's right for you Bella. I've always wanted what was best for you."

"I wish it was you," she whimpered.

"I do too."

Thanks again to Sharebear, my beta.