"I'm so addicted to all the things you do

When you're going down on me, in between the sheets

All the sounds you make, with every breath you take

It's unlike anything when you're loving me"

Addicted – Saving Abel

"EDI," Joker managed to gasp between breathless kisses.

Shepard stopped what she was doing and gave him narrowed eyes. "This isn't some kind of kinky three-way you have in mind, is it, Moreau?"

"What? No! It's just…I feel like it's always watching."

"You want to go somewhere more private?"

"Yes."

"Are you angling for an invitation to my room?"

"Maybe."

"All right, then." Shepard bent down and retrieved her shoes and his hat. "Let's go."

They entered the elevator and she pushed the button for the top deck. When the elevator doors swished open, Joker's mind started racing. Shepard's private quarters. He hadn't ever been inside, and as far as he knew, neither had any of the rest of the crew. Not even her good pal Garrus.

Shepard entered the room, tossing the shoes and hat aside. Joker trailed her in and took a long look around.

"Wow, this is cool! You have a fish tank."

"Yep."

Joker looked more closely. "Where are the fish?"

"They died."

"You killed them?"

"Well, not on purpose! I fed them," Shepard replied, defensively. When Joker quirked a skeptical eyebrow, she amended, "Sometimes. The aquarium is a stupid idea, anyway."

"Mmm."

"Yours?" Shepard regarded him, suspiciously.

"What? If it's a stupid idea, it must be mine? I didn't have anything to do with designing this part of the ship," Joker responded with indignation. Like he would waste time and money on stupid things like fish tanks rather than heated, reclining seats for the cockpit.

"All right, all right. Sheesh." Shepard descended the stairs and sat on the couch. The stairs were an obstacle, but Joker gripped the rail and slowly eased his way down before settling next to her.

"So, where were we?" Shepard inquired, her voice husky as she leaned towards him. But when Joker drew away once more, she heaved an exasperated sigh. "What now?"

Joker knew Shepard was growing irritated, and he was probably blowing his one shot at this, but he felt it was better to be safe than sorry. Especially in this particular situation, with this particular woman. "Although I may regret asking, I just want to make sure that this is really what you want to do."

Now it was Shepard's turn to cock an inquisitive eyebrow. "Worried that I'll wake up in the morning full of regret and self-loathing, and jettison you from the nearest airlock?"

"Uh…something like that, yeah."

"There's always that possibility, I suppose," Shepard admitted. "But this isn't a completely impulsive decision. I mean, I have thought about this...us...before." She glanced at Joker, alarm flashing across her face. "This isn't the first time you've ever considered it, is it?"

Joker laughed. "It's not even the first time today."

"Okay, then." Shepard blew out a sigh of relief. "We're both consenting adults, right?" She stood and began to pace, growing more agitated as she tried to explain. "Tonight was...the way people were looking at me after viewing that presentation...I could tell that they weren't really seeing me, you know? They were seeing all those parts put back together into something that was equal parts fascinating and horrifying. Like I'm something..." She trailed off.

"Something?" Joker prodded.

"Something less than human," Shepard whispered, her expression full of doubt and pain. Joker's heart broke for her a little in that moment, but before he could reply, Shepard continued with a scowl, "And then that idiot at the end…"

"If it's any consolation, I like your rack just fine."

The frown faded, but her expression remained pensive. "That's kind of my point. You're the only one who wasn't looking at me like some sort of science project come to life."

Joker rose, taking her hand and tugging her close to him. "You're hot, Shepard. Always have been; always will be. Anyone who doesn't see that is blind."

She gave him the full wattage Shepard grin – the one not many people saw, and that never failed to make his heart do that stupid little stutter step. "So, do you want to see those other tattoos, or what?"

"Yes, ma'am," Joker said. And this time, he kissed her.

Shepard's hands once again burrowed their way under his shirt, and this time, Joker didn't stop her. She tugged it over his head and tossed it aside. Holding his gaze, she reached up and untied the halter of the dress. It fell to her waist, exposing a black lace strapless bra. He kissed her neck, her collarbone, and the swell of her breasts, as she ran her hands over his shoulders and down his back. Her fingertips trailed down his spine, and when her hands reached his waist, she pulled him tightly against her. Feeling the hard evidence of his arousal, Shepard ground against him with a satisfied growl. His fingers encountered the zipper at the back of her dress, and he slid it all the way down. The garment fell to the floor and she stepped out of it, now clad only in the bra and matching bikini underwear. The panties rode low on her hips, and he spotted something peeking out from the waistband. He hooked a thumb in them and tugged down slightly, revealing the tattoo. The image of a dragon looped around her hip bone and snaked downward into territory as of yet unrevealed.

"That is sexy as hell."

"I told you I had more."

"This is fun…like an X-rated treasure hunt."

Shepard laughed as she took Joker's hand and led him toward the bed. Once they were standing beside it, she unbuckled his belt and pants. She slowly unzipped them, letting her fingers linger, teasing him. She slid the pants over his hips and they dropped to the floor. Before he could kick them away, Joker heard her snigger. That was never a good sign when you were half naked.

"What?"

"Nice undies."

Joker glanced down at his boxers. He hadn't planned on being naked tonight, so he wasn't even sure which pair he was sporting. "What's wrong with polka dots?"

"Nothing. I think they're cute."

"Uh huh."

"Aw, c'mon, don't go getting all self-conscious on me now." Shepard kissed him hungrily, strong fingers gripping the back of his head. Her mouth was soft, but demanding, as her tongue tangled with his. Joker quickly forgot about the boxers, and everything else except the woman in his arms.

Shepard gently pushed him into a seated position on the edge of the bed and straddled his thighs. Joker was touched, but not entirely surprised, to realize that Shepard was carefully supporting some of her own body weight. She was so damn good at accommodating his condition without even seeming to notice it. Usually, when he was with someone for the first time, he had to explain about the Vrolik's, and then answer their questions - there was all kinds of talking. Joker hated talking. Especially when he would rather be fucking. With Shepard, there was none of that. She already knew his limitations, and proceeded as if he had none.

Joker reached behind her and unclasped the bra. He lowered his head to first one breast, and then the other, using his tongue to elicit a moan from Shepard's lips. She squirmed on top of him, and he sprang free from the confines of his boxers. When he came in contact with hot, wet lace, he couldn't contain the growl that escaped his lips.

"I want to tease…and taste…every inch of you," Joker told her, his words ragged with desire. "But right now… I just need…to be inside of you."

In response, Shepard reached between them and took him in her hand, stroking lightly. He gasped as every muscle in his body contracted, galvanized by the direct contact. His temptress grinned wickedly, happy with the response she'd provoked. Joker was about to beg her to stop before he completely lost control when Shepard abruptly released him and stood. Joker's body ached, the sudden distance between them a different kind of torture. Shepard did a slow strip tease, wriggling out of her panties, and Joker finally got to see the entire tattoo. He was only able to admire it briefly before she turned her back to him and perched lightly on his lap, facing away. Shepard glanced at him coyly over her shoulder. "Is this okay?"

Joker wrapped his arms around her, kissing her hungrily. "It's better than okay."

"Just checking." Shepard reached for him and gently guided him inside. Her body felt as exquisite as it looked, and Joker started to worry that he was going to embarrass himself if he couldn't regain some composure. It had been a long time - too long - and sex with Shepard was literally a fantasy come to life. Joker gripped the sheets with white knuckles and tried to think of something not sexy. Grunt…Garrus…EDI. But all he could see was the curve of Shepard's naked back in front of him, and he sure as hell wasn't willing to close his eyes and miss any of this experience - not after he'd waited for so long. Joker struggled for control while she slid down, slowly, every inch sweet torture.

Finally, Joker was completely surrounded by her, and the sensation was almost overwhelming. Shepard paused for a moment, and he reached around her, his hand finding the place where their bodies were joined. He stroked gently, and she started to move on top of him, finding a rhythm. As her body rose and fell above him, Joker's mind focused on every little detail - the trickle of sweat trailing down Shepard's spine, the tickle of her hair across his face when she thrust downward, her body arching with pleasure. The outside world fell away and it became just them, just this moment. Joker's fingers gripped her thigh as her pace increased, hurtling both of them toward the finish line. Shepard cried out, "Oh, yes…oh, god…that's good, Jeff…that feels so good." Hearing his name on her lips pushed him to the brink.

"Shepard…"

Joker came with a groan while still caressing Shepard's body, and a few seconds later, he could feel her orgasm as her muscles clenched around him. She slowed and then stalled, balancing on his lap with him still inside of her. His arms wrapped around her, his cheek resting against her back, as their breathing steadied. After a few moments, Shepard gently disengaged from his embrace and stood. Joker flopped back onto the bed, eyes closed, brain foggy, limbs heavy as lead.

From what seemed like a great distance, Joker heard water running in the bathroom. A few minutes later, the mattress dipped as Shepard settled on top of it. "Are you going to sleep down there?" His legs were still dangling off the edge of the bed.

"Can't move."

"C'mon." Shepard tugged gently at the fingers of his left hand as it lay extended over his head. "Come on up here with me."

With great effort, Joker attempted to adjust his position on the bed. He shimmied about halfway to the top before he gave up. Shepard laughed and slid a hand under his head, lifting it so she could slide a pillow beneath. It smelled like her, and he rolled onto his side, letting his head sink deeper into its softness.

"Did I wear you out?" Shepard asked, softly. He opened his eyes to find her lying facing him, their pillows side by side.

"You always wear me out, Shepard. Just talking to you is exhausting."

"That was better than talking."

"So much better," Joker agreed.

The pilot rolled onto his back and extended an arm, inviting her to settle against him, but Shepard hesitated.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You worry too much, Shepard."

Shepard moved closer, settling her head on his chest. "I always look out for you, Joker. You know that."

Joker supposed manly pride dictated that he should be insulted by this, but he wasn't. Her tone suggested that she was only stating a fact, not belittling him. And honestly, there were worse things than having a woman like Shepard on your side.

"I know."

Shepard yawned. "And you always look out for me, too."

Joker kissed the top of her head. "Yep, I always look out for you, too."

Joker closed his eyes, feeling content and comfortable. He must have fallen asleep instantly, because when he opened his eyes again, Shepard was gone.

At first, Joker was disoriented. Then he realized that he was in Shepard's bed, and he was alone. He had a moment of panic when he saw that the clock showed 0745 hours, but then he remembered that they were docked. He assumed that if Shepard had wanted to leave immediately, she would have woken him up and told him so.

Joker stretched, reluctant to leave the comfort of the bed. He had a cot in the crew quarters, but he rarely slept there. He was more likely to doze in the pilot's chair, which was soft leather and contoured to his specifications. But Shepard's bed was big, and soft, and smelled good, unlike the men's barracks, and he couldn't help but linger for a short while.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee eventually rousted him. Shepard had her own coffee maker, and the carafe was still half full. Joker filled a clean mug and took a sip. It was hot and delicious, nothing like the toxic brew Gardner made. It looked like sleeping with the commander was going to have some nice fringe benefits.

With that thought, Joker wandered into Shepard's private bathroom. It was spotless and there were clean towels hanging on a rack by the door - unlike the crew showers, which always smelled like mildew and had towels strewn around in soggy heaps. Of course, Gardner was the custodian as well as the cook (a thought that could put you off eating for a long while if you thought about it too much) so it wasn't too surprising. He was as good at one as he was at the other – which was to say, not very.

Joker had only the clothes that he'd worn last night, which meant that he was going to have to do the walk of shame back to the crew quarters in his dress uniform. While this was sure to garner some curious looks, no one knew where he'd gone last night, or with whom. He wasn't sure if Shepard would want their encounter to be public knowledge, although there was no keeping secrets on a spaceship. Everyone would know soon enough, especially since it involved the commander.

The pilot decided that Shepard wouldn't mind if he used her shower before he departed. It wasn't until he went to reach for the soap that he drew up short. There were no less than six bottles of varying sizes on the small shelf. He squinted through the spray, trying to determine what they were. There was face wash, body wash, shampoo, conditioner and other assorted toiletries whose function was not readily apparent. For a moment, Joker was stymied. He had one bottle of soap for his entire body, including his hair. He opened the shampoo and sniffed experimentally. Unsurprisingly, it smelled like Shepard's hair, which smelled like coconut. The fragrance was nice, but not very masculine. On the other hand, most people didn't get close enough to sniff him, so he would probably be safe. He poured out a little bit and scrubbed his hair. Joker used the body wash (which, happily, was unscented) on his skin and quickly toweled off. He found his pants by the bed and his shirt strewn over the couch, but he couldn't find his hat. He climbed back up the stairs and looked near the desk, but no cap. Maybe Shepard would know where it went.

With a final look around, Joker headed for the elevator.

Joker found her in the gym, running on the treadmill. His hat was on her head, her hair pulled through the back in a ponytail. She wore a white tank top and black running shorts, along with sneakers. Her long legs loped easily, although he would have wagered she was moving at a good pace. He was both impressed, and a little bit envious.

Shepard popped out an ear bud as he approached, allowing it to dangle.

"Hey," she greeted him.

"Don't you do enough running in the normal course of events?"

"I find that it's helpful if the only running I do isn't when I'm running for my life. It's better to be prepared."

"I see your point." Joker paused. "You stole my hat."

"I didn't steal it. I borrowed it."

"You're sweating all over it."

Shepard snorted. "After the bodily fluids we exchanged last night, you're worried about a little sweat?"

"Okay, first of all…ewww. Secondly, that's my favorite hat. And lastly, about those fluids…"

"Yes?" Shepard cocked an eyebrow, obviously wondering where he was going with this line of conversation.

"We were both sort of irresponsible in the protection department," Joker whispered, glancing over his shoulder although there was no one else around. "I don't suppose you've taken any, uh, precautions in that area?"

"No. There really hasn't been any reason..." Shepard admitted as she slowed the treadmill to a jog.

Joker derived more satisfaction from that revelation than he probably should have, but he continued with his original train of thought. "Well, unless you want little Jokers running around…"

Shepard gave a mock shudder…or maybe it was real. "Gawd."

"Or little Shepards…"

"That's no better."

"Then I should probably go see Doc Chakwas." Everyone knew the doc had an endless supply of condoms. The rumor was that she purchased them in bulk.

"You're making a big assumption here, aren't you?"

"Huh?"

"You're assuming that what happened last night is going to happen again."

Joker's heart dropped to his toes. Actually, he'd never considered the fact that it wouldn't happen again.

"Uh, well...yeah. It is, isn't it?" He hadn't intended for it to come out like a plea.

Shepard grinned as she stopped the treadmill and stepped off. "I'll think about it," she said with a wink as she walked away. "And stop staring at my ass," she tossed over her shoulder as she disappeared through the doorway.

Later, Shepard materialized in the cockpit and dropped the hat askew on his head. Damned if the thing didn't smell better than before, with the scent of coconut shampoo lingering pleasantly on the band. As Joker readjusted its position, a scrap of paper fell out of the cap and landed in his lap. "My room. Tonight. After you visit the doc." He grinned as he swung the chair around, but she was already gone.