WIZARDS VS GODS: THE FINAL WAR BEGINS

by Caligalux

After watching the wizard world for eons, the gods have finally had it with all the segregation, fantastic racism, forbidding exogamy, and especially their "one-per-family" policy, and are launching their ultimate attack upon the wizards to reform-or destroy-them once and for all.

10. Deserting

The following day, the Starcrushers spent the entire morning preparing to desert the gods and flee the combat zone. It was now 11:59AM and they were at the final countdown.

"15…14…13…12…11…10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…0… BREAK POSITION NOW!"

The Starcrushers' ship shot from its standby position at Mach 1, heading northwest. It blew past Zeus and Odin, who took notice.

"What the…?" asked Odin.

"That was the Starcrushers!" said Zeus, "What are they doing? Somebody get Mercury on the line!"

Just then, Commander Forthwith's phone rang. It was Mercury.

"Commander Forthwith," the messenger god said, "I understand that you have broken your position, what is going on?"

"We have judged your war to be far too inefficient for our taste, Mercury," Forthwith said, "Therefore we are deserting you."

"WHAT!?" Mercury demanded, flabbergasted. "You're supposed to destroy WizTech tomorrow!"

"I guess you no longer have anyone to do that job." Commander Forthwith said, hanging up immediately to focus on piloting his ship.

"We've found the Skullsquishers, Commander!" Forty-One called.

"Head for them at full speed!" Commander Forthwith ordered.

The Starcrushers' sleek, streamlined ship flew towards the Skullsquishers' hulk of a vessel at the speed of sound, looking as though they intended to ram them.

"Skullsquishers!" Commander Forthwith said over the radio, "After a long conflict, we are going to defeat you and you shall die!" He then turned to Twenty-Two manning the weapons and yelled "FIRE!"

He did as told and a powerful beam of energy shot from one of the ship's numerous plasma cannons, heading towards the Skullsquishers' ship.

"Oops, I forget to set it back to vaporize!" Twenty-Two said suddenly.

"You what!?" Twenty-Five exclaimed.

The beam hit the Skullsquishers' ship, but instead of vaporizing it and simply scattering its individual atoms, it gave the ship a fatal blow, causing it to yaw dangerously to one side, then began to fall from the sky towards New York City below.

"Ahura Mazda, man!" Commander Forthwith exclaimed, "That ship's loaded with nuclear weapons and it's falling uncontrollably towards the city!"

"USE THE TRACTOR CANNONS! NOW!" Somebody yelled, and Twenty-Two fired the crane-like laser at the falling ship, catching it about 400 feet above the ground, taking hold, and hurling it into the ionosphere, where Twenty-Two then shot it with another, more powerful beam, causing the entire thing to explode in a shower of flames and sparks, visible around the world, that looked like a combination of a supernova and Ohio-grade fireworks.

Meanwhile, on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C., President Colbert and Vice-President Stewart stood, watching and saluting the scene.

"I feel proud to be an American, Jon." said Colbert.'

"So do I, Stephen." said Stewart.