AN: Sorry I am sure you are so tired of hearing that but I had a bit of a block in the way of I knew what I wanted for this chapter but it just wasn't feeling right. I also am unapologetic in that I have had a beautiful baby boy and as my beta Prada can attest he is adorable and very distracting.

So as always I don't own GG and I was given some inspiration from Grey's Anatomy and One Tree Hill for this chapter a bit.

Chapter 11

Finn was staring at Rory in disbelief; he couldn't remember her ever drinking this much before. Even during her break from Yale. And she had yet to say a word, not since he picked her up. He brought her drinks and she didn't even ask what they were. She just drank silently while twisting her wedding ring on her finger. In a way Finn was glad for her preoccupation or else she would have noticed how the bar was empty of other customers, something he has arranged on his way to pick her up but felt was well worth the cost to guaranty their privacy. It was loud as usual but it was employees and a jukebox, not a chance of any sleazy journalists looking for a scoop.

"I don't remember the last time Logan and I kissed." Rory said suddenly startling Finn. "I remember making love that morning, I remember it so vividly. The way Logan looked at me, the way his lips felt on my collarbone, how he smelled, that mixture of his American Crew shampoo and that Elmwood soap he loved so much that he had Honor send it from England all the time. I remember watching him and Lola sitting at his desk and how his hair was all crazy. She was snuggled into his chest like she always does… did." She looked at Finn vacantly.

"He walked me out to the cab, so we must have kissed good-bye but I can't remember was it a fast peck or a long one to last a while. I just kissed him like I would be kissing him every day for the rest of our lives, I didn't know it would be our last kiss, I should remember our last kiss." Rory said sadly.

Finn not knowing what to say just listened, realizing that after two years Rory may finally be ready to talk. "Luke said something today; I thought I was doing better." Rory said really looking Finn in the eyes for the first time that night only to see him raise an eyebrow. "Okay I thought I was hiding it better." She said honestly. "I really looked in the mirror and he's right I look like shit! I don't know what to do though, It hurts to breath!" she exclaimed "How am I supposed to have an appetite when it takes all my energy to just get out of bed, it's supposed to get easier but it doesn't! It's not supposed to be this way!" she said tears falling. "Were supposed to grow old together, watch Lola bring home boys that will make Logan crazy. He's supposed to be here to give his daughter away, hold his grandchildren! He promised me, he would always be here!" she yelled as she stood wobbly before starting to pace by the table, not noticing the looks from the employees "You jump, I jump that was our thing, it was in our vows damn it!" she said slamming her hand down on the bar. " I'm so mad at him! He wasn't supposed to leave me here alone." she said with angry tears before downing the rest of her drink. "How am I supposed to do this alone, I don't know how to fix this any of it. And Lola or Logan how do I fix her when I can't even fix myself?"

"Actually, it will probably be Tristan and his kids that fix Lola." Rory said laughing bitterly.

"Why is that love?" Finn asked mildly confused

"Because Tristan gets it, his kids get it, his wife was raped…" Rory said still having a hard time with the word "He knew Lola needed to feel like she had control. His son doesn't scare her he's gentle with her without treating her like she's going to break. Oh, and did I mention the girls keep pushing me and Tristan together hoping well notice each other that way." She finished snidely plopping back down in the seat. "She's doing better and I feel like I'm losing it, I'm bouncing back and forth between hopelessness and anger."

Finn took Rory's hands, "It's okay to be mad, you're not really mad at him your mad at the situation. That's okay, hell I'm sure it's even healthy. To be honest I'm mad too! But you can't keep bottling it up, I beat the shit out of a punching bag does wonders. Will you promise me something?" Finn asked hesitantly. Rory nodded slowly.

"Will you try for one month, that's it if it helps do it longer but for one month will you work with Cass's trainer she's a nutritionist and she can help you beat the crap out of a bag, might help. And talk to that counselor Logan's seeing from Tristan's center. Just for one month if it doesn't help you stop, for me?"

"I talk to Logan's voicemail, I'm still paying for his cell phone. Sometimes I call just to hear his voice." Rory nodded before putting her head on the table emotionally spent. "You have one month I try it your way, hell we know my way isn't working" she said looking at Finn sideways before reaching up and squishing he check in with her finger. Finn laughed "Okay Darls, time to head home." He said scooping Rory up and carrying her out. As Finn was buckling her in Rory truly shocked Finn for the first time "Logan would be ashamed of me, I'm a terrible wife." She said almost in a whisper.

Finn smoothed Rory's hair back lovingly, "Now why would you believe something silly like that love?"

She looked at Finn guiltily "Because I did notice Tristan." She whispered with a tearful shrug.

Finn crawled in next to Rory wrapping his arm around her as she quietly cried, taking a minute to signal the driver, using it as an excuse to think how to respond. Finally saying delicately, "I know without a shadow of a doubt that you were the best wife Logan could ever have and he felt that way, bragged about you all the time. You should know that Logan once told me if anything ever happened to him, he didn't want you to go through life alone. He wanted you to be loved."

Rory sniffled "He is a better person than me; I would haunt him for even thinking of another woman."