"Oh my gosh…" Alex said, almost too shocked for words. "Harper!?"

"That's right," she said, "IT'S ME!"

"Oh my gosh," said Alex (again), "I can't believe it… I never…"

"You never suspected that it was ME, Haper, your BEST FRIEND!"

"But—"

"You never saw any of the signs—EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE OBVIOUS!" Harper shrieked, furious.

"Why are you so mad at me?!" Alex asked.

"Because you wizards have been getting on my nerves for centuries, the way you mistreat my other magical creations, forbidding exogamy, and above all else allowing only one child to keep their powers into adulthood. So I sent Stevie Nichols as my prophet to bring about reform in the wizard world, and I even made her like you in hopes that she would convert you to the cause. But instead, she's petrified and shattered; my beautiful prophet martyred!" Harper said angrily. "But not only do you and your brother continue to support the one-per-family policy, but you also learn a way to circumvent it! And to top it all off, you're a lousy friend who never answers my texts anymore!"

"Oh my gosh, Harper…" Alex said, trying to speak, but being cut off.

"So when I'd finally had enough, I gathered together my under-gods, and hired the Starcrushers here to aid us in attacking the wizard world upfront until they swore on the Sacred Name of Chaos Itself to reform." Harper concluded.

"Did you know that Mercury and the other gods instructed us to raze WizTech during an honor ceremony?" asked Commander Forthwith.

"Oh yeah," said Harper in a disturbingly nonchalant manner, "that order came to you, through them, from me."

"So let me get this straight;" Eighty-Six began, "you authorized an attack on a school, that would have been a gigantic fiery, bloody massacre comparable to the atomic bombing of Hiroshima, all as a shock-and-awe tactic—as well as all on people you created—because you were mad about young Latina girl not answering your texts?"

"Yeah…" Harper said, somewhat shamefully, "I guess that was a little excessive…"

"A little!?" Alex demanded.

"Well at the same, the wizards were planning to annihilate New York City!" Harper exclaimed quickly.

"Yeah," said Alex, "I thought I heard something about that… Whatever happened to that idea anyway?"

"Oh they went through with it." Harper said, once again with a disturbingly cavalier attitude.

"WHAT!?" the entire quintet burst out.

"Yeah," Harper elaborated, "about three hours ago—roughly the same time I sucked you all into my dimension—the wizards set of an MWMD, Magical Weapon of Mass Destruction, and New York was completely totaled, as well as most of northern New Jersey, southwestern New York state, and part of Connecticut."

"WHAT!?" the quintet exclaimed again in horror.

"Oh my gosh, Harper," said Alex, "how could you let this happen!?"

"Don't worry," said Harper, "as we speak, I am rebuilding the entire region like it never happened, I'm resurrecting every victim from the dead, and forcing Golorgi and BenZoltar to vow on the Sacred Name of Chaos Itself to reform wizard society."

"I guess we were kind of being jerks…" said Alex. "But why didn't you just tell me that you were master of the universe? I would've—you know what, I probably would have exploited you, then you would have gotten upset, then we would have made up and continued being friends after the normal 22-minute episode."

"We're still friends?" asked Harper.

"Of course." replied Alex.

"YAY!" Harper beamed, and the two hugged each other happily.

"Uh, Queen Goddess," said Commander Forthwith, "since the war is now effectively over, you've achieved your goals, and we helped you do so, I believe that you know owe us the ultimate guitar solo."

"Oh yeah that," Harper said, "actually I have no clue where that is."

"What!?" Twenty-Two exclaimed, "But you're the Queen Goddess of the multiverse!"

"That's in fact the only think I don't know." Harper said.

"Then why did you promise it to us?" asked Eighty-Six.

"Because I knew it was the only way to get your services." Harper said.

"Well okay then," said Commander Forthwith calmly, "if that be the case, then let's just return to the ship." And Forthwith, Eighty-Six, Twenty-Two, and Monique left the palace.

Harper and Alex were catching up on lost time, meanwhile, when, just a few minutes later, the Starcrushers' ship came crashing through the walls of the palace, firing lasers left and right, flying back and forth, demolishing the entire place. After they were finished with their job, they headed for the inter-dimension highway's nearest onramp, where they left, bound for the dimension from whence they came.