Monique walked down the aisle alone, as she had no one there to present her. She wore a white dress. There were 98 people in the crowd, all members of the Starcrushers, as well as her groom, Eighty-Six, and his best man, Twenty-Two, standing near the chuppah.
Commander Forthwith was to preside over the wedding ceremony, and was wearing the maroon and gold robes of a Zoroatheist incandescent light priest.
Once she reached the end of the walk, she and Eighty-Six take their places under the chuppah, and the ceremony began.
"Do you, Eighty-Six, take this female, Monique, to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Commander Forthwith asked.
"I do." Eighty-Six replied.
"And do you, Monique, take this male, Eighty-Six, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Forthwith continued.
"Oui." she answered.
"And if there is anyone here who has any reason that these two should not—"
"Don't fate, Commander." Eighty-Six said bluntly.
"Anyway…" Commander Forthwith said, "By the power…partly vested in me, by taking incandescent light priest seminary but dropping out halfway through, I hereby pronounce you, Starcrusher and wife. You may kiss the bride."
They kissed, the Starcrushers in the audience applauded their union, and the reception began.
Commander Forthwith and Twenty-Two had "barrowed" English new wave group New Order, to perform, and the 102 people present (not counting the band) danced and celebrated, while Eighty-Six and Monique stuffed cake in each other's' mouths.
"Now that I am married, I can get fat and not worry anymore!" Monique rejoiced, then froze when she realized that she had said that out loud.
"Do not worry, my beloved wife," said Eighty-Six, "my chemical and emotional attraction to you is not bound to bodily girth."
"Oh Eighty-Six," Monique said dreamily, "you are so sweet…in a monotone, emotionally rigid, Vulcan-like way."
The celebration continued for the rest of the night, and everyone was in a good mood. They had gotten out of the war between the wizards and the gods, nobody died (well actually, everybody died, but it was reversed), Eighty-Six and Monique were mad for each other, and even though they still didn't have the ultimate guitar solo, at least they were able to get the Queen Goddess back for falsely promising it to them by destroying her palace.
And when New Order began playing "Age of Consent", the Starcrushers took notice.
"You know, Twenty-Two," said Commander Forthwith, "although it is not our ultimate prize, I do believe that we have just found the ultimate bass solo…"
The End