Of Apple Trees and Honey Bees
Chapter 8
Remus was alone in his rundown room in the Shrieking Shack. Professor McGonagall had just left a good half hour ago, with a despaired look clinging on her aged eyes. She had given Remus a rare hug of comfort, and wished him a safe and hopefully relatively painless transformation.
The young werewolf knew that a painless transformation would be as ridiculous as the proverbial muggle cow flying over a moon, but he thanked the Professor for her sentiments anyway. She had meant well, and Remus was always thankful for the Hogwarts staff and their sympathy for his affliction.
Remus thought it was largely coincidental that his Head of House was the Professor of Transfiguration – she, of all people, would know how agonizingly painful werewolf transformations were. That was probably the source of the older lady's grief while accompanying the young lycanthrope to the Shrieking Shack that night.
The sandy haired boy silently studied the various cracks on the Shrieking Shack's wooden floor. Various blood stains were smeared across its rickety wooden surface, some even dried across the dusty walls.
Our resident lycanthrope only hoped that these blood stains were from his self inflicted wounds, and not from any of his friends when they accompanied him. He would totally shun them, if he found out that he might have hurt them, physically or otherwise.
He would say that his worst fear was not his transformations per se, but the danger that it posed to the people he cared for. Remus knew that he would never get used to the great pain that accompanied his monthly transformations, but at least he was resigned to his fate.
But the guilt of transforming someone else into a monster like himself – that would be something he couldn't forgive himself for; it was a fate far worse than death, something he did not want anyone else to suffer if he could help it.
"Moony!" the almost breathless call woke Remus up from his musings.
"Sirius? I thought I asked you not to come tonight?" Remus asked. He tilted his head sideways as he did so, causing strands of his sandy-blonde hair to fall across his face and side – a sight that almost made Sirius glomp the said boy's adorable innocence.
Sirius found it quite hard to believe that someone as pure hearted as Remus could ever be classified as a monster in society's eyes – and yet, there it was! The very reason the Whomping Willow and the Shrieking Shack existed, the reason why Remus' condition was kept top secret...All of these were merely a result of society's elitistic prejudice turned ugly.
The ancient grandfather clock in the Shrieking Shack had suddenly struck, indicating that there was only half an hour left to go before the transformation.
"Remus...I came here because I want to take care of you," Sirius said gently, still slightly short of breath, "You know you get injured less easily when we accompany your wolf, right?"
"Not tonight, Sirius." Remus' eyes brimmed with innocent tears, and he looked away from Sirius. "I think the wolf is in heat now."
"Meaning...?" An elegant raise of an aristocratic eyebrow.
"It means," Remus whispered, embarrassed, "It's looking for a mate."
Sirius' face coloured brightly at this, ashamed that he might have asked a rather personal question. "What relevance does that have, Moony? I'm neither female, nor am I a wolf...are you worrying because your wolf is going to be more aggressive due to heat?"
A flush coloured Remus' otherwise pale cheeks. "I think...I might be gay, Padfoot."
Stunned silence followed the sandy haired boy's confession.
"Moony..." was the only syllable that escaped from Sirius' mouth.
"...and by association, I guess my wolf would be gay as well. Since your Animagus is at least a canine, Sirius, this is why I don't want to risk your safety tonight."
A flustered silence left the two boys standing only metres away from each other, glued to the spot. Only the ticking of the clock indicated the bitterly slow passage of time.
Sirius was stunned at the information that was laid in front of him. His Moony admitted to be gay. His heart did a flip, and he almost forgot to breathe.
Wait a minute, his Moony?
A cold sweat shrouded Sirius' forehead, and the young aristocrat ran his hand over his shoulder-length raven tresses nervously. Did that mean he was gay, too?
He knew that he was infatuated with the boy, but pushed it aside as a mere phase. They spent so much time together, after all, and he assumed the infatuation to merely be due to a great chemistry and friendship between them. But to consider himself gay...that seemed to be another large step that Sirius knew he might not be ready to take.
As these thoughts ran wildly through Sirius' mind, his person merely stared at the ground blankly.
Remus assumed Sirius' silence to stem from disgust at his sexual preference. While his friend had previously said that he would not follow by his family's prejudices, blood still inevitably ran thicker than water, Remus mused sadly. He cursed himself for being so emotional and transparent, it was obviously the wrong time to admit such a big news to Sirius. Tears started to stream down his scar ridden face, it mingled with his sweat and dust from the haunted building.
It wasn't even that Remus was attracted to men in general. Now that would be the proper definition of being gay.
But no, Remus' only reason for stating he was gay, because of his infallible attraction to Sirius.
If only one could be Siri-sexual instead of homosexual, the lycanthrope thought, it might have made Sirius' ego boost rather than have him disgusted like this.
"At least say something, Padfoot," Remus choked through his tears. The stress from the waxing full moon, as well as the emotional suspense almost tore the young werewolf apart.
"I think," Sirius started tentatively, "I think that...I'm not sure about being gay, Moony, but there is something I want you to know."
The dog Animagus took a few nervous steps towards the crying sandy-haired boy, and grasped the other's hand lightly, but reassuringly.
"I'm not sure about all those things people associate with being poufs, Moony, and I'm not sure who made you gay, but I'm bloody sure that I love you." Sirius gave Remus' hand a brief squeeze, and grinned the largest and most nervous grin he ever gave in his sixteen years of life.
Remus' eyes widened at Sirius' confession, and burst into another round of tears - this time tears of uncontrollable happiness.
"R-remus? Did I say something wrong?" Sirius quickly let go of Remus' hand and took a few steps back in reflex.
"No, you bloody tosser you," Remus laughed despite the tears streaming down his features. Everything was alright, after all. The shorter boy ran towards Sirius, hugging him tightly.
"Love you too, Sirius."
To be continued...
A/N: Thanks to ashie-slytherin-greenflames, Mariana Lestrange, brenna963, The Erumpent Horn, not bitter just twisted, dazzled-x, Lexis-RandomThoughts Mo, Morgana-le-Fai, LDeathNoteL, hanagima, Absidoodle, hipsomhaps, and RahRahReplica for the reviews! =) I was honestly very surprised by the overwhelming number reviews for the last chapter! *bows* I hope that you all enjoyed this one, and I'll try my best to continue writing better updates.
Oh yes, and just a shameless plug, if you all have the time, do check out my other piece, Metafiction. It's also a Sirius/Remus fanfiction, but has a darker and more abstract twist.
Please review! I love hearing your comments and suggestions about the fic! :)