Hey ya'll so I came up with a cool concept of intertwining my own life with the Clique Series. It is going to be very personal for me, and there will be some chapters that will be hard to write since it is all so real. I think it is important to show people, that we all do struggle and it's not always so happy-go-lucky. I hope you all will end up liking it, and if not than I will deal with the criticism that is going to come with this story. This is my full circle of since my other account on here has been here for almost four years now. I truly do hope you can appreciate what I'm doing and how much it takes for me to re-open these old wounds.

Thank you,

Fading Footprints.

P.S. thanks for the reviews and to the "guest" review um thanks if you really do know who I am then I am impressed.

The first week of school went by slow and uneventful. It is finally the weekend, and even though I should be beyond excited...I'm not. I thought I could handle going to school with him, and pretending that nothing ever happened...but I can't. Even though I am a pretty girl, I have always felt like I was an ugly duckling because guys never wanted to be seen out with me.

Josh Hotz for example; the super hot Mexican-American soccer star with dark hair and eyes; was hooking up with me for three straight months. I have now realized that he was hooking up with many other girls at the same time, but he made me feel good about myself. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was pretty but at the same time not pretty enough. I almost lost my virginity to this guy, but I think that I realized that to him, I was nothing but a hook-up and I didn't want to loose it that way.

Josh Hotz, wasn't even the start of guys hiding their feelings for me to the rest of the school. It actually all started with the dirty blonde hair, all-star soccer goalie, and notorious player, Derrick Harrington. Derrick, and I actually flirted at the end of Sophomore year, but he never asked me out until Junior year. We kept our relationship a secret, because Dylan Marvil hated Derrick and he didn't want that to come between us. Although it didn't matter, because a month later, he dumped me for another girl. We never even kissed, but I was still hurt.

"Claire, didn't you hook-up with Cam Fisher last year?" Kristen Gregory asked as we all laid around Massie's purple and white bedroom. I know the reason why she is asking, because Kristen has a crush on Cam and wants my permission to date him even though they have been hooking up for the last three months.

"What difference does it make? Last year is last year, and I wouldn't waste another minute on Cam." I lied to her as I flipped through the newest Cosmo magazine. The truth is Cam is the only guy I regret shutting out.

Cam, and I go way back to our childhood years. Both of our older brothers played on the same baseball team, and we would always hang out with our little gang at the parks and just play around. He never knew until later, that I had the biggest crush on him.

Flashback:

"Claire, we have been hanging out for almost a month or so and you just recently you have started to shut me out. Why are you?" Cam asked me as we sat there on an old dirt road in his black Chevrolet pickup truck.

"I don't know, why I push anyone out I just do it. I really do like you Cam, and I am sorry if I hurt you." I said holding back the tears, because every time I seemed to mess up the start of something great.

"I can't do this anymore." Cam said flatly, and I knew by the look in his eyes that he is serious.

"Fine, whatever just drop me off." I said now angrily, and with that said he dropped me back at my house.

We didn't speak another word to each other on the car ride back to my house.

End of flashback:

I've always been good at ruining relationships and if there was some kind of award for it, I would be a sure winner. Cam, and I haven't spoke since then, but I don't blame him. I was mean, and the sad part is I never even cried, because I already started letting those feelings for him disappear.

"Kristen, if you really want to date Cam then date him, but whatever you do don't hurt him." I told Kristen the truth, because Cam deserves the best and I'm anything but that. If Kristen likes him and treats him right, then I couldn't ask for anything more. However if she does break his heart, well then I won't be responsible for what comes next.

"Why do you even care about him?" Dylan asked point blank. She perched up from the white chair, she had been seating on and is now looking at me intently.

"I've known him longer than any of you have, and I knew his dad unlike any of you. We had a connection, based off baseball and the fact that our brothers played for his dad before he died in the car crash. The last thing, I will ever let happen is someone to hurt him, because he doesn't need anymore pain in his life." I confessed to knowing about the accident more than I ever let on beforehand.

It was a tragic accident that almost killed Cam, his brother, and mother along with their dad/husband. None of them were wearing seat belts, and they were in the hospital for a very long time. My family went to his funeral, but I couldn't bring myself into going, and not a day goes by that I wish I had gone, but I can't change the past.

"Claire, aren't you on guy number twenty-five now?" Alicia Rivera asked changing the subject.

I don't even know why I put up with their judgmental behavior, but for some stupid reason, I do. I guess I always thought that is what you do with friends, but sometimes I feel I put up with it too much. I am a people-pleaser and it does have a huge disadvantage to it, when people use you.

"Why don't you just call me the slut from now on." I snapped back angrily as I picked myself up from the floor and started heading towards the door.

"Claire, chill out we were just joking around." Massie said trying to lure me back to the sleepover, but I was so over it.

I slammed the door behind me, and drove off not wanting to go back home. Instead I wound up at my secret get-away spot, and instantly I felt at ease. It's a small town outside of Westchester, that is peaceful and drama free.

I walked over to the playground across the street, and just sat down on one of the swings. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to being a kid when everything seemed so incredibly easy and friends were actually your friend.

It's nights like this that make me question everything about my life. Why did my grandparents have to die when I was so young? Why did I have to go through heart-break all the time? Why do I have so many trust issues? Do I have a cold heart? Am I making the right decisions? I ask myself these questions, but they will never have answers.

This chapter was hard to write, and I almost cried, but I managed to get through it with no tears. I know that the next chapters will be even harder, but I need it. I know it's okay to cry, and I really appreciate the awesome encouragement that I am receiving from all of you. So thanks a million!