The names are not mine, the rest - is.
Such Great Heights
"I don't know. I'm hot. It's really fucking hot in here and maybe we should just leave." Nettie keeps brushing me off, but we've been looking for this guy all night. All the rooms, filled with all the people and this is way less interesting than I remember, than I imagined.
"It's okay, Bella. Eli told me he'd be here and this is where the stoners hang...what, what?"
I held onto her. Like, I might fall down. He was leaning on some girl. He was leaning on a girl I didn't know and he was smiling. His teeth are so perfect and white, and his mouth is doing something odd. Odd in like...my stomach hurts. My stomach hurts or maybe it's empty. I feel empty and weird and like I might fall down, so I'm holding onto her.
"What's with you? Bella, let go!"
Nettie's mad at me but it doesn't seem important. My world is in slow-motion. The moment's significance is tangible, and her annoyance seems utterly unimportant right now because...he's moving. The boy with the dirty-blond hair is with him. I always thought he seemed a little wired, and maybe kind of intriguing in a grungy Kurt Cobain kind of way - but he still pales in comparison to Edward. Now the boy is pulling him. He's pulling him up off the girl I don't know. The girl he was leaning on and they're moving towards us, right for us.
"I know you." He's waving his hand in front of me, he's speaking to me and I just freeze. My reality being so actual that my reactions are broken, or muffled perhaps, as if someone is covering my ears and he's telling me he knows me.
"You're Jasper, right?" Nettie is talking to the grungy boy and I still can't say anything. Rose just showed up and Jasper is supposed to take them to get weed. I may be on the precipice, about to fall into the foreign abyss of either fantastical imaginings come true or...not. I am smiling though. Smiling like, with teeth. And his teeth are so nice, I cover my mouth. I'm still holding onto Nettie, just her dress now, like a toddler. I'm a child and I can't let go. But she pulls away from me and it's just us. Just Edward.
"I know this girl." He says to Jasper, motioning after him as he's walking away. He's talking about me. To me. And I'm...nothing.
Nettie leaves. They all leave me with him, they go out onto the balcony with the other guy and I don't feel like I know what to do. Maybe it's too much. Maybe just thinking about talking to him is better than actually talking to him. Because that way, I can't say stupid stuff about turtles.
"Are you afraid of me?" He's looking at me, watching them leave and he looks upset. His eyes are dark and deep and sexy and I'm lost. But he's talking and he might be mad at me and I can't believe this is happening. "We do sit together."
I know.
My words don't come.
We do sit together. I am afraid.
He's mumbling and seems agitated, distracted by his own movements as people push past us. The room is beginning to fill up, the party is much more crowded now, and he's right there, his body closer to mine, I can almost touch him. If I want to, I can just reach out. I think he's trying to concentrate. He's definitely high and I think he's trying to concentrate on not falling down.
"I'm not afraid of you." I am. I am a little because even though I've sat next to him since September, even though I know he will always wear a black or blue t-shirt, jeans and boots, even though his hair is a brownish red and looks super soft, inviting my touch. He's new and I don't really know him except...this thing, this compelling attraction to his very being, his very presence is too much, too full and I have to say something before I explode.
"Did you have an allergic reaction?" To me, maybe? He's having an allergic reaction to me because I say dumb things and I'm wearing this super cute dress right now, and he didn't look down at me once. He's just fidgeting and...nothing.
"You smell better than those turtles." I'm dying and he's bringing up turtles. "You smell pretty. And I, um..."
I smell pretty.
I'm dying and he knows. He finally gets it and I really might be something in the land of Edward. All this time, I thought maybe he thought I was weird for wearing ripped socks but he like, gets me.
You smell pretty.
I'm smiling again. Only this time, he's holding my hand, the tips of his fingers to the tips of mine. The length of his cool skin along mine and I can't cover my mouth. Because. He's holding my hand. Edward fucking Cullen. Is holding my fucking hand and I'm high, all by myself I'm high yet crushed from the absolute realness, and it feels amazing.
"I got it, B." I hear her but... "Bella. Uh, I..." I think she's probably looking at Edward. Edward's not smiling anymore, he's kind of, he looks flustered and in a kind of...discomfort, maybe even pain. I'm so confused and his eyes are now more frenzied, like Jasper; wired. This is weird, right? I feel deflated now, no longer excitable, I'm exhausted, and I don't think I wanna smoke anymore.
"Um, ladies. We have to uh...go. Enjoy the blaze." Jasper pulls Edward away.
My hand is cold now. Like, I left it hanging out the window of the car too long. Like, the wind spent a while lapping at it and my hand is cold now. I'm heavy, my arms and my head, I feel heavy now, like I could sleep now. My hand is still cold and they're gone, they just left and I'm confused, we're walking across the green of the WV Six house, Nettie still wants to get high but I'm too busy holding my own hand. What just happened?
AN:
*peeks through fingers* Apologies for this being a day late, The Boy and I were gallivanting from Dusk till Dawn and I was a sleepy kitty when I got home.
As always - The Boy pre-reads, and lets me lie in the nook ::luffs::
Your comments are like Edward holding your hand. He's like...holding your hand!
Please and thank you!
samrosey. xo