Aang found himself drifting slowly to consciousness, not entirely sure what had happened. One minute, he'd been in the middle of battle witht hat strange, unarmored Fire soldier, Katara at his side, exhausting herself rapidly from her lack of skill and control of her element but nonetheless giving it her all to help drive off the invaders, and then... then, the next moment, the man had gotten behind him, above him somehow, and he could almost have sworn that the winds themselves had been responding to the Fire soldier's call rather than his, just for a moment, before something had slammed him down into the ground... and then everything had gone black.

"Then he woke up." A cheerful voice came from the other side of the room... his cell, he realized suddenly, slightly obscured by the metal wall between them. "And he found out that his entire skeleton was missing."

Aang's mind blanked as the woman broke out into delighted, honest laughter at the poor person's misfortune, not able to comprehend how such joy could be taken from another's pain, and he was only barely able to catch a second, uncertain and wary laugh joining hers... that Fire soldier.

"So anyway." The woman continued abruptly. "That's why Eirin kicked me out of her medical practice."

"You are sure this is... safe. Right?" The man asked awkwardly.

"Oh sure, sure. I mean... well, safe enough. I'm just fiddling around with stuff a little. It's not like you'd actually die of this."

"I'm grateful you believe in my fortitude, but-"

"Here, hold this a sec. I need to move this just a..."

There was a meaty, sickening crunch, and all the blood drained from Aang's face.

"... Ow." The Fire soldier said dumbly, in the other room. "You know, that should really hurt. I'm not sure wh-okay, yeah, there it goes, ow, ow OW, dammit Suika-"

"Oh, don't be such a baby." The woman... Suika, answered casually, punctuated by a soft, wet thump of something being tossed casually to the ground. "Ribs grow back."

"No they don't." Aang whispered hoarsely, in perfect unison with the soldiers angry yell of the same.

"... Huh. Moukou's did." Suika said with a hint of suspicion.

"Moukou's head would grow back." the soldier grumped angrily. "Moukou and Kaguya are not good basis for comparison!"

"Whatever. Talk's dragged on, I'm sobering up a little. Just a second." There was a sound of a cork unpopping, and Aang could almost imagine he could hear several quick swallows, followed by a sigh of happiness. "... Alright! That's better. Now... let's play doctor~"

Twenty minutes later, Appa slammed heavily down on the deck of the Fire Nation ship, only to be greeted by a wild-eyed Aang slamming upwards right through the deck itself in his hurry to get away, uncaring of the confiscated and secured possessions he would be leaving behind.

"Get me the heck out of here!"

xxx

AN.

'hola'. This is all on you. This zero-effort, non-canon-if-there's-ever-a-canon side dealie is all your fault. You're welcome.