AN: So, thank you so very much for your... uhm... murderous... reviews. It's nice to know there are people out there who want to... kill me. Ahem. So. Uhm... Fae the Queen, I don't think it's possible to virtually kill a person. Or at least, I hope not... *gulp* & Wicked4Life, thank you for the compliment :). So, I don't really have that much to say anymore, and I'm sure you'll just want to skip this AN and read on anyway, so I'm going to stop now.

Oh, one more thing: more virtual cookies & hugs for the ones who can find the Crossing Jordan reference in this chapter - not sure if anyone has seen the series, but I personally love it.

Disclaimer: I'm not that girl.

Elphaba came to her senses when she was about halfway down.

The first thought that came to her was, What in Oz am I doing?

The answer to that was quite clear, actually – she was falling. She remembered jumping, although she wasn't sure anymore why she had done that. She knew she had to do something soon, however, for it was a long way down and she had only moments left until she'd hit the ground.

She tried not to panic and thought of several possible ways to save herself, but they were all useless. Finally, she decided to go with the flying spell again, casting it on her dress, for a lack of something better, and hoping she would have enough time to activate it before she plummeted to her death.

She did all of that thinking in less than one clock-tick, and as soon as she had decided, she started muttering the spell. Nothing happened and for a moment, she thought that this was it, this was how she would come to an end. It felt like an anticlimax. The Wicked Witch of the West, feared by all of Oz, plummeting to her death from a window. Even the melting story seemed more spectacular now.

Just before she hit the ground, however, she felt a slight tug at her dress and she slowed down, flying now rather than falling. An immense sense of relief washed over her. The spell had worked. She wouldn't die – not today, anyway.

She soared down until her feet touched the ground, but her knees immediately buckled and she slumped down, trying to catch her breath and stop trembling. She wasn't sure how long she'd been there before she heard footsteps running towards her and Fiyero, followed by the King and Queen as well as the two Princesses, dashed around the corner. 'Fae!' He was with her in an instant, crushing her to him. She drew a few more shaky breaths before she could even speak. 'What did I do?!'

Fiyero didn't seem able to say anything at all, so his mother answered for him. 'It looked a lot like you were trying to kill yourself, dear.'

She looked up at the woman as if she were crazy. 'Why would I do that?'

The Queen quirked an eyebrow. 'You tell me.'

Then the memories came rushing back, and she shook her head. 'I remember, but… It's a bit fuzzy. It seems really stupid now, but I'd have sworn Fiyero to be dead, and Glinda as well, and… and they were there, all the people that died because of me, and they convinced me to… to join them, to jump…'

The King gently placed his hand on Fiyero's shoulder. 'It's okay, son. She's all right. Nothing happened, she's fine.' He looked at Elphaba, puzzled. 'How did you do that?' he asked. 'One moment, I was sure we'd have to scrape you off the terrace, and the next, you were here, unharmed.'

She managed to give him a shaky smile. 'I'm a witch, remember?'

Fiyero, in the meantime, had buried his face in her hair, and it looked an awful lot like he was crying. She gently rocked him back and forth. 'I'm sorry, Yero,' she whispered, not able to hold back her own tears either. He shifted a bit and tightened his grip on her. 'You scared me to death.'

'I know.' She rested her head against his shoulder. 'I'm really sorry.' They were both silent for a while, until she asked in a shaky voice, 'What's happening to me?'

No one answered, because no one knew.

Fiyero was sitting in a chair, staring into the flames that were blazing in the fireplace. Elphaba was resting on the bed; he would get up to check on her every few minutes, but thankfully, she didn't seem to be having any more episodes.

Never before in his life had he been so scared as when he saw her jump from that window-sill. He had dashed through the room, trying to grasp her before she fell, but his fingers had only grazed the fabric of her dress before she had fallen down. He had been convinced that she would die, and for that awful moment, he felt like dying himself. But she had saved herself, coming to her senses just in time, thank goodness, and he had thanked every God he knew for that.

They still had a problem, however. Not long after her near-death experience, she had had another episode, hallucinating – from what he could conclude from her words, it had been a hallucination about her being pregnant and Morrible slowly tearing the baby from her stomach before eating it. He felt sick at the mere thought, even more so because he knew it seemed so very real to her. He wished there was something he could do to help, but he couldn't think of anything. His mother had gone talking to a doctor, trying to prod him into diagnosing Elphaba's condition without telling him who the patient was.

He was jerked away from his thought as Elphaba suddenly shot up from the bed. 'Of course! A spell!'

He immediately ran towards the bed, expecting her to be hallucinating again, but her eyes were clear and focused when she looked at him. 'Morrible cast a spell on me!'

A small spark of hope manifested itself inside him. 'Do you think so?'

'I can't believe I didn't see it before,' she murmured, clearly annoyed with herself. 'It's so obvious!'

'Can you do anything about it?' he asked, and she nodded confidently. 'Every spell has a counter spell – well, except for the spells from the Grimmerie, of course, but she doesn't have the Grimmerie. Hallucination spells are quite common, actually – I can even think of a few myself. She probably found one in another magic book.' She jumped out of bed and pulled a cloak around herself. 'I'm going to the library, to see if I can find a way to reverse this spell.'

'I'm going with you,' Fiyero said immediately. She looked ready to protest, but he held up one hand to stop her from doing so. 'I'm not leaving you alone – not when you are like this. Believe it or not, but I'd rather not have you try to kill yourself again.' He tried to sound airily, but she could see the anxiety in his eyes and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. 'All right. I love you, Yero.'

He relaxed at that, smiling at her and returning her kiss. 'I love you too, Fae.'

She spent the rest of the afternoon in the library, searching through book after book, but the best she could come up with was a temporary counter spell – one that would last only for about two days. She grunted in frustration. 'What am I supposed to do? Cast a spell on myself every two days to keep my sanity? I bet the Grimmerie would have a spell in it to…' Her eyes widened when the idea struck her, and Fiyero immediately knew what she was thinking. 'Oh, no,' he said, shaking his head. 'No way. You are not going to the Emerald City to retrieve the Grimmerie from Glinda! It's far too dangerous!'

'And this isn't?' she returned, gesturing towards herself. 'You can't keep an eye on me all the time, Fiyero, and I could try and kill myself again any moment. We have to solve this. I don't think there's any other way.'

'I'm coming with you.'

'No, you're not.' Her tone of voice made it clear there was no discussion possible.

'But even if you fly, it'll take you at least a day to get there,' he protested. 'What if you get another episode while you're on your way?'

She tapped the page lying open in front of her with her fingernail. 'I'll cast this temporary spell to make sure I can get to the Emerald City safely. Glinda will help me once I get there, I'll find the spell in the Grimmerie, cast it, and come back. It'll only take me a few days.'

'I don't like it,' he said stubbornly, and she gave him a weary smile. 'I know you don't. But I really don't want you to come along. If you can't accept my argument for not wanting to put you in any danger, then please accept the fact that it'll be much faster and easier for me to travel and sneak into the palace by myself.'

He shot her a sour look. 'You're impossible to argue with when you're right.'

She smirked at him, but just then he saw her eyes cloud for a moment, and he knew she was about to have another episode. 'Cast the spell,' he urged her. 'Now.'

She took a deep breath and spoke the magical words. 'Non Delos Il Mehna Arami Sanctum Livre Voi.'

It was like someone pulled away a veil that had been over her eyes since the hallucinations had started, and he looked at her cautiously. 'Fae?'

She blinked at him. 'Nessa?'

He was on the verge of panicking all over again when she chuckled and tried her best to look guilty. 'Sorry. Not funny.'

He let out his breath. 'Someday, I'm going to end up killing you for that horrible sense of humour of yours. How many fingers?' He wiggled three fingers in front of her and she rolled her eyes. 'I'm fine, Fiyero, really. It worked.'

'How many fingers?' he insisted, and she sighed and squinted at his fingers. 'Friday.'

He pulled back his hand. 'Fine, I'm convinced. You're you again.'

'I think it would be best for me to leave right away,' she said, looking at her crutch. 'Give me two minutes to pack some clothes and food.' She was gone before he could even answer, and she was back again within the promised two minutes. She briefly kissed his cheek. 'Don't worry, Yero, I'll be okay. I'll be back before you even notice I'm gone. Please… explain it to your family.'

'I will,' he promised, hugging her tightly to him. His family knew everything there was to know about Elphaba – he was sure they would understand, but he would have to explain a few things to them. They had never had anything to do with magic before and they couldn't possibly understand what was going on here without him telling them. 'Be careful.'

'You know me – I'm always careful.' She chose to ignore the rather sceptic look he shot her. Instead she mounted her crutch, whispered the magical words and rose into the air, shooting through an open window and soon disappearing from his vision.

Glinda was hovering on the edge of sleep when a soft sound suddenly jolted her awake. She looked around the room with wide eyes. No one there… but then why had it sounded so much like someone had just opened and closed a door?

Then she saw a shadow hugging the wall and she immediately squawked, 'Iiiiiiiiieeeeeehhh!'

'Ssh!' the shadow hissed at her, and she caught a glimpse of black fabric and green skin. 'E-Elphie?' she breathed, trying to calm herself down. 'Sweet Oz… You nearly…'

'Gave you a heart attack?' the green girl asked sarcastically, quirking an eyebrow at her friend. Glinda gave her a dark look. 'Yes.'

'Lady Glinda?' came a voice through the door. 'Are you all right?'

'Yes!' she called back, clearing her throat to prevent her voice from squeaking. 'I just had a nightmare – I'm fine!' She turned back to Elphaba. 'I'm so glad you're okay!' she whispered, hugging her friend briefly. 'How did you get here?'

Elphaba looked at the crutch she was holding rather sheepishly, and Glinda did everything she could to hold back a giggle – failing horribly. 'You're not serious, are you? You enchanted a crutch to fly on?'

The green girl glared at her. 'Well…'

'Yes, I know, I know,' Glinda said, waving her hand, still giggling. 'We can't all come and go by bubble, right?'

Elphaba smirked. 'Finally, you're learning.'

'Elphie… why are you here?' Glinda asked, growing serious. 'If anyone discoverates you…'

'They won't,' Elphaba assured her, putting the crutch aside. 'I just… I needed the Grimmerie.'

At Glinda's questioning look, she told her friend about the spell Morrible had cast on her, and the blonde girl swore – something Elphaba had never heard her do before, and she found it rather amusing. Glinda, however, looked about ready to kill Morrible bare-handed. 'That evil old…'

'Glinda,' Elphaba interrupted her gently. The blonde looked up. 'I'll deal with Morrible later. Right now I need the Grimmerie.'

'Right,' Glinda said, hurrying over to her wardrobe and digging up the old book. She handed it over to Elphaba. 'Here you go. You can take it with you, if you want – it's rightfully yours, after all.'

Elphaba shook her head, smiling. 'Thank you, Glin, but I think you should keep it. I'll just… borrow it for now. Just this one spell, and you can have it back.' She started flipping through the pages, frowning as she usually did when she was concentrating on something, and Glinda decided it would be best to leave her friend. 'Good luck. You know where to find me if you need any help,' she said, before retreating to the sitting area.

She jumped when she saw someone sitting in one of the chairs. 'Boq! What are you doing here?'

'I heard you scream,' he explained, getting up. 'I came to see if you were okay, but then I heard voices and I assumed there was a maid with you or something, so I decided to stick around to see if you were really okay. Are you? Okay?'

She closed her eyes for a moment in an attempt to calm her wrecked nerves. 'Yes. Yes, I'm okay. I'm fine.'

He looked relieved. 'Good.' He made a vague gesture towards the door. 'So, who was it you were talking to in there?'

She narrowed her eyes, thinking for a moment. 'Were you serious before? About wanting to apologise to Elphaba?'

He cocked his head, not sure what this sudden change of subject was about. 'Yes, I was. Why?'

'Seems like you got your wish,' she said simply, locking eyes with him. 'She's in there.'

He paled visibly. 'Really?'

Glinda nodded and worried for a while if it had been the right decision to tell Boq this, but she relaxed when he asked anxiously, 'Do you think she'll be mad at me? You know, for… killing her.'

The question almost made Glinda giggle – it was quite the ridiculous situation, after all – but she restrained herself, knowing Boq to be genuinely concerned. 'She's been feeling awfully guilty about turning you into tin,' Glinda reassured him. 'I think she'll mostly just be happy that you've forgiven her for that.'

He nodded and followed Glinda when she went back into her bedroom. Elphaba must have heard her enter, because she exclaimed, 'I found it!' without even looking up. When Glinda didn't reply, she looked up from the old spell book and her eyes widened. 'Boq…'

'Don't worry,' Glinda said immediately. 'He knows about you – everything about you – and he won't betray you.'

Elphaba glared at her friend. 'You told him?'

'I trust him,' the blonde replied confidently, flashing a smile at Boq. He shuffled forward, clearly anticipating the green girl to assault him or something, but when she didn't, he let out his breath and said, 'I'm sorry.'

Elphaba stared at him in confusion. 'What?'

'I'm sorry,' he repeated. 'For hating you, and for the part I played in killing… or… well… fake-killing… you.'

Elphaba was speechless – it was clear that she had never expected any of this to happen. Finally, she just shook her head. 'Boq, no… You don't have anything to apologise for. I understand why you did it, and I don't blame you for it.' She took a deep breath. 'But… can you forgive me? For turning you into tin?'

'I guess so,' he said, coming closer now and taking a seat across from Elphaba. Glinda also sat down and watched her two friends with interest. 'Can you explain to me why you did it?' Boq then asked, and Glinda leaned in a bit, curious about that herself.

Elphaba told them what had happened that day, how Nessa had been so furious about Boq wanting to leave that she had cast a spell on him, but how she had mispronounced the words and ended up leaving Boq without a heart. 'I felt like it was the only thing I could do to save you,' she ended quietly, avoiding both their gazes. 'I swear, if there had been any other way… But… It all happened so fast, and I… I couldn't think of anything else to…'

Glinda leaned over and gently squeezed her hand. 'It's okay, Elphie. He forgives you.' She looked at Boq pointedly. 'Don't you?'

'I do,' he agreed, and Elphaba smiled, obviously relieved. 'Thank you.'

He shook his head. 'Seems like you were right,' he said to Glinda. 'As usual.' She beamed at him, and Elphaba chuckled, but didn't say anything.

'So,' Glinda continued, 'now that's been settled… Boq, do you mind if I talk to you later? I need some time alone to talk to Elphie.'

'Of course,' he said, looking once more at Elphaba. She smiled at him, and to Glinda's surprise, he actually returned the smile before leaving the room.

'Well,' the blonde said cheerfully, 'that went better than I expected.'

Elphaba gave her a look, but then directed her attention to the Grimmerie in front of her. 'Ah Tum Nahmen Arami Non Phobos Voi Nahmen,' she chanted, and Glinda watched in awe as the air seemed to shiver for a moment. Elphaba let out a sigh of relief. 'I think it worked.'

'I thought you said the spells from the Grimmerie are irreversible,' Glinda said, cringing her forehead in confusion. Elphaba nodded. 'They are, but the original spell wasn't from the Grimmerie – Morrible didn't have it, you did, remember? And even most spells that originate from the Grimmerie can be… well, not reversed, but countered, anyway.' She looked at the book rather fondly, and Glinda smiled. 'Do you want to stay and read it for a while? Who knows – you might find some useful spells in it to fight Morrible.'

Elphaba looked at her friend a bit hesitantly. 'I don't mean to bother you…'

'Don't be silly,' Glinda said, waving her hand at her friend. 'You never bother me. Although I think I'll go back to sleep, if you don't mind – I've got another long day ahead of me tomorrow. You can read in the sitting area, if you like… will you be back anytime soon?'

Elphaba shook her head. 'I really haven't the slightest idea, Glinda. It all depends on whatever is going to happen next, but I can't promise anything at this point.'

Glinda went over to her friend and hugged her tightly. 'I know. I understand. Stay safe, okay?'

The green girl managed a smile. 'I'll try.' Glinda turned around, but then Elphaba asked her, hesitantly, 'Glinda?'

She turned again.

'Can I… have my broom back?'

Glinda quirked an eyebrow at that. 'What? Flying by enchanted crutch isn't witchy enough for you?'

Elphaba glared at her. 'No, it's not. It's kind of embarrassing, really, and I do have a reputation to maintain, after all,' she said sarcastically. 'It's also not very comfortable, and I've grown attached to my old broom. So can I have it?'

Glinda smirked and went to rummage around in her closet again before pulling out the broom. 'Here you go.'

Elphaba smiled at her. 'Thank you.'

So Glinda went to bed, and Elphaba went to study the Grimmerie. She discovered the spell that Morrible must have used, the immortality spell, but unfortunately, there was no way to reverse it – not that she had expected there to be. She studied the counter spell, the one that Morrible herself would have to cast for it to be effective, but to no avail. Morrible would never cast it on herself, and it was no use for anyone else to do so.

But perhaps there is a way to force Morrible into casting the spell, Elphaba mused, flipping through the pages. She had no idea how else to defeat her former Headmistress; not even her magical powers could stand up against invincibility.

After hours of reading, she looked up, amazed at seeing that the eastern sky was already starting to lighten. Soon, the sun would rise –she had to leave before then, or the Ozians would be able to clearly see her fly through the sky and that was something she wanted to avoid – them knowing about her being alive wasn't the same as rubbing it in their faces. She got up, ready to put the Grimmerie away and leave, when the page currently lying open caught her eye. She frowned as she quickly scanned the page. She wasn't sure if the spell could be of any use to her, and she didn't have time to try and find that out right now. So she quickly copied the page, stuffing the piece of paper in her pocket, closing the book and hiding it in Glinda's closet again. She looked once more at her sleeping friend before mounting her broom – not her crutch, but her broom, which felt incredibly good – and leaving back for Adurin Iir.

It took her a day to get back there and she discovered Fiyero and his family in the library, looking anxious. He jumped up when she came in. 'Fae! Are you all right?'

'Never better,' she told him truthfully, giving him a weary smile as she put her broom in the corner. 'I can't possibly explain to you how good it feels to finally be sane again. No more hallucinations or suicide attempts, I promise.'

He hugged her, and so did his parents and sisters after him. 'We were very worried,' Anwen told her and Elphaba was touched by the sincerity in her voice. 'Fiyero told us about the spell that horrible woman cast on you – if she were here now, I'd kill her with my bare hands, strangling her and then pushing her into the fireplace until she…'

'That's quite enough of that, dear,' her mother scolded the girl gently. Anwen blushed slightly and sat back, but beamed at the genuine smile Elphaba gave her. It was nice to know that there were people willing to fight for her – not just Fiyero and Glinda now, but his family as well. It felt good to finally have a family again. People who loved her already, who stood up for her, who trusted her. It felt more than good, she realised as she sat down and allowed Rayenna to hug her tightly as well.

It felt as if she finally belonged.

Oh, come on, you didn't really think I was going to kill Elphaba, did you? What kind of person would I be if I did that? :O I would never do that! (Not yet, anyway... heheheh.)

So did you find the Crossing Jordan reference? ^^

Please review! And you still owe me an answer - to Gloq or not to Gloq? It's up to you guys...