The names are not mine, the rest - is.

I Dare

I wake to him tracing circles on my wrist, it feels real. More real than I've ever known, like flutters against my skin, like the butterflies in my tummy. His eyes are soft, almost brown like mine. The sun shines on us from the window. He looks into the light and smiles.

"You're so beautiful, Bella. You're so perfect."

I smile in return only for his to fade.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you. But you're so perfect."

I try to speak but can't. I try to pull at him but he's too strong. I try to breathe but it burns, it burns like actual fire. Fire in my throat, fire in my eyes. Flames licking at my skin. I can't see him anymore.

-o-

"Where are we going? Edward, please."

"I'm taking you away from here, Bella."

"Why? Who is James?"

The endless trouble, insurmountable obstacles. Her choices limited to becoming an addict, addicted to my blood, addicted to me, or death. Death by not dying. Not dying ever. Knowing she will see everyone she has ever cared about die before she does. Knowing there won't be a happy family in her future. Knowing she can never move in any other direction than this. Time will stop as it continues on, forever. A pain almost unbearable.

"You were gone. In harm's way. Maybe even dead. Alice couldn't see you. I went to your house, Bella."

"What are you saying?"

"James is a tracker. Skills like no other." He will find us. It's simply a matter of when, and how much time we have left until then. "We went to him for help. Jasper had him visit your dorm room, get familiar with your things, catch your scent."

"But you found me."

"But he watched it happen. The blood. Your blood was everywhere. I..." I love you. I love you, and it was only because I love you that I didn't destroy you.

"And?"

"He's been watching the house. If it weren't for Maggie and her infatuation with my brother, we would have been blindsided."

"What about Alice? Didn't she see this coming?"

"Alice's visions are only the product of decision-making. If he hasn't decided to come for you, she doesn't see it."

"So he was just watching, waiting...for me? He was waiting for me."

"I won't let him hurt you."

"But he's the best at this?"

"Bella, listen to me." I look between her face and the road. "I won't let him hurt you. You're it. You're mine. You are my life, making my own worth living."

"What are we going to do?" Her touch is sweet, soft, warm. She runs her fingers the length of mine before lacing them together. It means so much, this small thing. It's beginning to mean more to me than I thought possible.

"Emmett has taken Rose to the house. We can fight. I'm taking you home with me, Alice has a plan."

"You said you didn't want to fight." She squeezes my hand in hers, turned completely in the seat to face me.

"I would fight for you. For my family. I would do anything to keep you safe, you have to know that."

"I do. I think I do."

"How are you feeling?" It hasn't gone unnoticed that she suffered less than desirable effects after taking my blood again.

While it seemed her body was fighting it, her senses are only growing stronger, momentarily falling into my world, she was adamant when we left that she was fine.

"I'm fine."

"Bella." I try to convey the seriousness with my eyes. This is dangerous. And we were reckless to have exchanged again. "Please be honest with me."

"I am. I feel fine. I'm hungry though, like starving. It's weird. I know I shouldn't be thinking about food right now, people are hunting us, hunting me. But I feel empty. I feel hollow."

"We'll get you something. You'll feel better."

When we arrive at the house, Carlisle and Esme greet us in the driveway. They've been feeding. Esme looks concerned and tilts her head ever so slightly, wanting me to follow her alone. I take Bella to the kitchen first to see what she can find. We don't eat for sustenance but we enjoy the flavours of many different choices. Mostly fluids, mostly alcohol. Emmett likes cake. Esme likes the frosting, and Alice likes liquorice. I'm not sure what she will find, but the sugar will do her some good.

"You're worried we won't win." I tell my mother as she sits at the piano.

"I am less concerned about our efforts, more concerned about your will to keep her human."

"Maybe I'm not anymore."

"No?"

She rarely questions me. We read each other so well, it's as if we can hear each other without speaking sometimes.

"I have decided if it's what she wants, then she will be one of us."

"But she hasn't expressed as much."

"Not quite."

"Then ask her." Esme is soft, kind, caring, always thinking about what's after next. But she is fierce, she is forthright, and she would do whatever it takes to keep us all together.

"She drank from me today."

She doesn't flinch, she is unsurprised. She doesn't speak, moments passing by.

"Well then."

"Well then?" I ask. She's hiding from me.

"Feed her, Edward. If that's what she wants. Show her what it is to be like us. She will crave it soon enough."

"What does that mean? What do you know?" The thought of her keeping information from me, from us, feels like stealing, feels like pain.

"What are her symptoms, after she drinks?"

"She was fine the first time. Nauseous earlier today."

"The other symptoms, dear."

Bella was aware of everything after I fed her, lying in the street. Today she was strong, today she could hear Alice from down the hall, through the wall, she could hear her voice as well as I could.

"What are you saying? She's slowly becoming one of us?" That can't be possible. I thought there was only one way.

Esme looks at me. Looking at me, she smiles.

"All you have to do is keep letting her drink."

"No. Not like this." Not without her knowing.

"Don't be silly, Edward. If the tracker gets to her, what do you think will happen? Changing by feeding is quicker. A lot quicker in the moment. Instead of three days of pain, it will be mere moments."

My mother was asking me to lie. Asking me to betray Bella. If she knew what I know, if she knew that I knew it and she did not. Would she still want this? Would she still want me?

"I do. I think I do." She had said earlier. As if there was still some doubt about how I feel and what lengths I would go to for her.

-o-

The house feels empty. I hear no voices, not even whispers. I hear no movements, not even footsteps.

I found some crackers in the pantry, and milk in the fridge. I've never seen Edward eat human food.

My head begins to fill with images of him drinking blood. But not from an animal. From me. I put the glass down, and wait, the nausea rolling through me like waves. Edward biting my wrists, my neck. Edward drinking my blood. I feel hot, I feel breathless. The nausea is replaced by something feverish, something gripping, something that makes these crackers in my mouth taste like cardboard, this milk smell rotten.

I slip off the stool that was holding me up and run through the rooms, trying to find Edward. I can't find anyone, I can't find him. I start to panic, and press my hands to my chest, my ribs trying to push it away.

Concentrate. Breathe.

Focus. Just breathe.

"You take Alice and J, wait for my signal. Siobhan, the elders will be out of practice. You got'em?"

"I've always wanted to know what Carlisle tastes like."

The panic subsides. The fear creeps in.

"I'll take the girl. And Edward.

I'm about to shout, call for Edward when I realise if I can hear them, they can hear me too.

I run again, running from room to room when I push the double doors to the library, open. Edward and his mom turn to face me.

I point outside, jerking my hand out towards the window.

I mouth something but they don't get it.

I try again, and Edward walks up to me, and holds me by the arms.

"Bella..."

"Sshhh." I shush him and close my eyes as a loud crack, glass breaking everywhere, shocks me.

Edward pushes me to the ground, and moves without moving. Flying across the room to where his mother is. Except, she's not there anymore.

"What did you see? Bella, who took her?"

"I don't know. I couldn't see. I can't see you when you move. I closed my eyes, Edward. I closed my eyes."

I think I'm going to cry. I think I'm in over my head. I'm thinking I'm stupid for falling in love with a vampire, when Rose comes running into the room, Emmett behind her.

"Rose!"

I jump up, my arms out, but Emmett stands between us.

"Not a chance."

"What? Let me past. Rose!"

"It's dangerous for you right now, Bella." Edward holds me by the arm, and I feel stupid even still. More so. Weak. Helpless. That's what I am.

Human.

"She has to get used to you. She has to learn to be around you now. She has to be able to control herself again."

I can hear Rose breathing. She sounds like she's dying. She sounds like an elderly lady, sick from an incurable disease, moments away from death.

"I miss you, Rose." I say. My voice is sad. I feel helpless.

She moans from behind Emmett and jumps on his back. Growling. She's growling at me.

She looks like an animal. Her hair covering most of her face, except from her eyes. Her eyes are red. She clings to Emmett for support, for life. Or maybe death. I'm not sure.

"You can do this, Rose. It's me. See." I smile as if it will help. "You're the strongest one, you know. I always thought so. So quiet, but always ready to attack. Attack anyone who didn't play nicely. Remember the first day we met? That guy Mark, or Mike kept trying to talk to me, and when I didn't want to give him my number, he called me a bitch. Do you remember what you did? You kicked him. You kicked him in the knee. I know it sounds stupid, but... But you are so strong, fearless. You don't let people take what they want, and you are always there, waiting to step in. I love you, Rose."

Edward's arms wrap around my waist, his head resting on my shoulder. I think he might cry. I press my face into him, wishing I hadn't brought him so much pain.

"We need your help." He says to Emmett. He says to Rose.

"She doesn't know how to fight." Emmett's face is unreadable. His stature massive, telling me everything I need to know.

Rosalie growls again, and kicks her legs against him.

"She wants to try." I say. As if I know.

"We have to move." Edward says, spinning me around to him. "Bella, you need to drink again."

"Now? Why?"

Edward looks past me at his brother and my friend. I sense he wants this to be private. But there's no time.

He leads me over to a piano, and sits me down. He joins me, and I search his face, searching him for something other than fear. He looks so scared.

"You will find her. They don't really want Esme. They want me. They won't hurt her." I don't think. I don't know what to say really. I feel terrified, I feel pumped.

"How do you feel?"

"Stop asking me that."

"Bella, please." His voice is stern. Like a teacher. Like his dad. Where is Carlisle?

"I feel normal. Better than normal. I... I heard them, outside. It's becoming clearer. But I still feel empty."

"Does it hurt? In your throat, or in your stomach?"

"Not really, just... I don't know what I want."

"You want my blood." He says, his eyes softening. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't understand?"

"You're becoming dependable on it, beginning to crave it. Did you find any solid food in the kitchen?"

"Only crackers, but..." They tasted horrible. I felt repulsed. I couldn't stop thinking about Edward, feeding from him, him feeding from me. "Oh." I nod.

"I didn't know. Not until now. If you drink more, you'll become more like me," he turns his head to look at Emmett and Rose, "more like us."

I know what I want. I know what I want.

"Am I dying?" I ask him.

"You're changing."

"So, I'm dying. I'm becoming like you. Less human." Dying.

He looks hurt. Hurt like when he saw Esme was gone.

"Come on, bro. We need to move." Emmett says, watching us. He hears everything.

"What will happen if I don't drink?"

"Honestly, I don't know. If we wait, and you decide not to, I imagine it will leave your system just as the first time but you'll still crave it, like a drug."

I know what I want. I know what I want.

"No."

"No, you don't want to drink?"

"I don't want to wait. But not here. Take me upstairs."

He looks back at Emmett and Rose. Emmett nods, letting us know he will wait.

I know we have a plan. I know people are being taken. And I know James is outside. But if he's not coming in, then we're not going out. Not like this. If I can just be that much stronger, more aware. I can help. I can help get Esme back.

Edward lifts me up just by pulling at my hand, strong, in a hurry. We find our way to the bedroom, to the place he made me feel a thousand feelings, to the stars in the wall, and the sheets that smell like both of us.

I walk over to the bed and kneel on it, waiting for him.

"It wasn't supposed to be this way."

"What way would have made this better? What way would have made this..." I don't know the right words.

"I would have waited. Waited for you to want this for the right reasons. We would have dated first, at least try to be normal. We would have fell in love beneath the stars, I would have..." He stops talking, and kneels in front of me, taking my hand as he positions himself. "Bella..." His eyes are liquid gold. His face takes my breath away. I never knew that was real. I never knew I could look at someone and just have to have them, have to be with them or I might die. That's what this feels like. Like if he went away, I might die. I lean into him, my face in his chest. I try to get closer as his arms wrap around me, like I need to be inside, I can't get close enough.

Edward runs his fingers through my hair, and kisses my head. He leans back, and they find my face. My eyes meet his, and there is something new, something new every time.

"Bella Swan, will you kiss me?"

His question surprises me.

I answer by reaching for him, pressing his lips to mine, his soft lips that beg for mine to part. I do, and he thanks me with his tongue. I am high, and he is heaven.

I grip him, and climb into his lap, my legs wrapped around him. My fingers in his hair.

I kiss him for life. He kisses me back.

He places his hands on my wrists and pushes me away gently.

"I love you, Bella."

I've thought about how this might feel. This love. How he might say it. How I would say it back. I thought I might cry. I thought I might laugh, nervous. I thought I might definitely cry.

This is none of those things.

This is powerful, pulling me in one direction by a million magnets, and I can do nothing but go, relieved in some way.

"We did fall in love beneath the stars." I say, turning to face the lights that Alice hung for us. The very ones that danced in his eyes, and along his skin as he lay above me. "I love you. I love you."

Because I do.

"Are you ready?" He asks me.

And I am.

I'm ready to become like him. I'm ready to love him, to fight for him. His family, and my friends. I'm ready to become like him. I'm ready to become like me.

AN:

The flames licking at my skin belong to The Boy.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!
Please and thank you
samrosey.
XOXO