The author says: Thanks a lot to my first reviewers, ScourgeFan22, Crimson Fire234, howlingwindofthestorm and Narutogril103! Great to know that you guys like the story so far! Good motivation!

And as you might know, there's also the SasuNaruSasu version of this story, but surprisingly the SasuFemNaru version got more attention!

This is chapter 2 which I actually had to divide into two chapters becaue it was way too long...

Have fun reading and again feel free to review ;)

I don't own Naruto.

'He had no idea – SasuFemNaru'

Chapter 2

Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs
She wants to go home, but nobody's home
It's where she lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.

- 'Nobody's home' by Avril Lavigne

Is this how Sasuke always felt? Betrayed... by his own brother?, Naruto pondered. She had been released from the hospital some hours ago and was now walking through the streets of Konoha to her favourite ramen stand. She was going to have lunch with Kiba, Chouji and Shikamaru.

Her thoughts, though, were not on her favourite dish, but on the boy she had fought over a week ago. The sharp pain in her chest had receded to the dull ache she was used to. It would sometimes spike and she had to gasp, but had been able to cover it up as a cough around other people for the last couple of days.

Kakashi had held her while she had cried her eyes out over Sasuke's betrayal. Her sensei tried to comfort her, but he had not been present in the Valley of the End. He had not heard, what she had heard. The tone in Sasuke's voice; unfeeling and accusing. By now she had convinced herself that Sasuke's defection had been her fault. She had gone over his words, over and over again. Tormenting herself with the guilt she felt and the pain of loss.

Never before had she lost anyone that close to her. The Sandaime Hokage maybe, but they had not been as close as Sasuke and Naruto. The girl felt like something was missing, like she gave up a part of herself. The pain in her chest was proof. It had always been there, reminding her of her loneliness, but being with Sasuke had eased the pain somehow.

But the pain of loss – it was hurting her so much. It made it hard to breathe and her mind was running in circles. This is what Sasuke must've felt every day of his life, since his brother killed his clan. She had no idea in how much pain Sasuke must've been. He seldom let it show. She doubted that anyone besides her had ever seen Sasuke actually admitting that he was in pain.

A heavy sigh left her. She knew she was frowning, but thinking about Sasuke caused her mood to go downhill. With her head bowed and deep in thoughts, she almost missed it when she arrived at her destination. She was the first of them, so she decided to wait in front of the stand.

Still lost in her thoughts, the blonde didn't see the attack coming. A fist suddenly connected brutally with the right side of her face. She was thrown to the floor by the force of the punch. Immediately her ninja training kicked in and she got up into a crouching position, hands held in front of her, ready to defend herself. Her eyes quickly located the assailant.

A raging girl with pink hair stood in front of her, arm still outstretched after the heavy punch she'd thrown.

"Sa-Sakura-chan?", Naruto asked insecurely. She hadn't seen her pink-haired team mate for over a week. Sakura had been the only one who had not paid her a visit in the hospital. When she had asked Kakashi, why Sakura was not coming, he had answered evasively.

This was the first time she saw her since she came back from the failed mission. But why was she attacking her? She would probably find out soon enough.

"Don't 'Sakura-chan' me!", the pink-haired girl yelled. Her cheeks were red from rage. "How could you?" A finger pointed at Naruto accusingly. The addressed blonde stood up from her crouching position. She was not completely sure whether the danger had passed, but this was Sakura. She probably had a good reason to hit her, Naruto reasoned, right?

By now a crowd had gathered around the two girls. Villagers were watching them curiously. Many of them recognized the 'Kyuubi brat'. Naruto faintly heard the whispered insults directed at her. Accusatory eyes fixed on her. The girl felt like a mouse in front of a cat.

"Sakura-chan, please, what did I do?" Hesitantly she took a step closer to her team mate.

But said girl immediately took a step backwards. "Don't come near me, Naruto!" Her voice was high-pitched and the bystanders could hear her clearly. "Don't you dare come near me ever again!"

Confusion was written all over the Jinchuuriki's face. What's going on? Her mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.

"You promised, Naruto! You promised me to bring him back!", Sakura shrieked.

Him? So this is about Sasuke, Naruto sighed. She should have seen it coming. She remembered the promise she had made to Sakura before she left on the retrieval mission. Naruto knew she had failed and Kami knew she was blaming herself enough for it. Still she had assumed that once she explained the situation to Sakura, the girl would understand and there was always next time. Right? But you know what they say about assume.

"Sakura-chan, please let me explain. I-", she tried to reason with the furious girl.

"No, Naruto! I don't want to hear your lame excuses! I should have known from the start that you wouldn't be able to bring him back! After all, what did you ever achieve? You're not the dead-last for nothing! Sasuke was right, you're a dobe!" She was gesticulating wildly in her blind anger.

The crowd was silently watching them, fascinated by the display and open dislike shown to the demon brat. Naruto felt increasingly unwell. Something wet was dripping from her nose onto her lower lip. Irritated, she ran a hand over her mouth. Her hand came away red with blood. Her nose was bleeding. Sakura had actually hit her hard enough to make her nose bleed.

What was it that all her team mates were out for her blood these days? The cynical thought made Naruto wince. She shouldn't think like that. Sakura was just confused and hurting from the loss of a team mate. It's the pain talking, it's not like she really means it, Naruto fiercely tried to convince herself.

"I know you're hurt, Sakura-chan. But I will get him back when-" Once more she was interrupted by the pinkette.

"No, Naruto. I don't want you to do anything for me anymore! Consider yourself released from your promise! You were the wrong person to put my hopes on! You're useless!"

Useless, huh? That's what Sasuke had called her, too. The dull pain in her chest spiked again. She resisted the urge to claw at her heart. With all the villagers watching, she didn't dare to show any weakness. She knew they would use it against her.

The blonde took another step towards her team mate. She just had to make her understand.

Chouji, Kiba and Shikamaru were making their way to the ramen stand, when they saw the large crowd gathered around it. They had run a little late, because Akamaru had stopped on every corner, sniffing. The boys heard high-pitched yelling coming from the centre of the crowd. They weaseled through the gapers and reached the front lines.

Their eyes widened when they saw that the commotion was caused by a yelling Sakura, who was confronting a crouching Naruto.

"What's going on, man?", Kiba mouthed what all of them were thinking. Open-mouthed they stared at the pink-haired girl, who was openly demoting her team mate. Naruto was bleeding from her nose and her right cheek was red. Sakura must've punched Naruto, Shikamaru deduced quickly. "How troublesome."

"I HATE YOU, NARUTO!", Sakura shrieked. The boys watched, stunned, how she stepped closer to Naruto, slapped her and spat – spat – in Naruto's face.

An eerie silence descended upon the crowd. They only parted enough to let Sakura storm away from the scene.

And Naruto... she was obviously shocked. Her blue eyes were wide and unblinking; staring ahead unfocused. In slow motion her hand came up to her face, wiping at the spit on her face. Fascinated she stared at her hand. Her blood had mixed with Sakura's spit. A sticky, wet, red substance.

Never in all her life had she felt this humiliated. Naruto focused on the wetness on her hand. The red blood was mocking her. She could no longer delude herself. This had not been the anger talking. Sakura meant every word. Her second and last team mate had turned her back on her.

For the second time in only one week, Naruto felt something shatter inside her. She could swear that this time, she actually heard the clanking of the shards. The pain in her chest came back with full force. The bloodied hand clawed at her heart. An expression of pure anguish crossed her features.

But she must not allow herself to break down in front of the villagers. She must not show them her weakness. Schooling her face to a blank mask in an Uchiha-like manner, she let her hand fall back to her side. Numbness was engulfing her. It was probably a protective mechanism and pure survival instinct that kept her on her feet.

She didn't even flinch when two hands were carefully placed on her shoulders. "Naruto?", Kiba's voice caught her attention. He gently pulled her away from the agitated people and into the ramen stand. Shikamaru and Chouji made sure that no one was following them.

They gently pushed her down on a stool and crouched in front of her, trying to get a reaction from the girl. "Naruto?" Kiba waved a hand in front of her face. No reaction. "Naruto? Naru!"

"Kiba, stop it. She's in shock", Shikamaru assessed the situation. "Chouji", he turned to the chubby boy, "run to the Hokage tower and tell Hokage-sama what happened. Tell her she needs to send someone to get Naruto. I guess Kakashi-sensei would be the best candidate."

Kiba was glad that the genius had taken control of the situation. He had no idea how to handle this. Naruto was not supposed to look like this. The blonde girl was always cheerful and smiling, blue eyes sparkling with mischief. But now – there was nothing in those blue eyes. No emotion. He expected to find pain and hurt, but there was just nothing. Kiba hoped that Kakashi would arrive quickly.

Shikamaru tried talking to the girl, but had no success. Even coaxing her to eat a bowl of her beloved ramen didn't get a reaction out of her.

Finally Kakashi appeared with a 'poof'. He nodded a quick 'thanks' to the two boys, gently picked Naruto up bridal style and both disappeared with another 'poof'.

Together they ended up in Kakashi's apartment. The small figure in his arms was light. The girl was in shock. Kakashi had seen this reaction to traumatizing events from other shinobis several times before. He carefully placed her on his bed. He took off her shoes, but didn't dare remove her jacket in case she might think he was attacking her. Kakashi covered her with his blanket and tucked her in. Naruto was too far gone to realize that this was the first time ever that someone tucked her in.

After cleaning her face with a wet cloth, he settled in an arm chair he had placed in front of the bed. He was going to watch her. No one would harm her tonight. And if he had a say in it, no one would ever harm her again.

The girl on the bed felt oddly detached from reality. Her numb body wasn't bothering her. For once, the ever present pain in her chest had left her. Her mind refused to make sense of what had happened. The only thought that was repeating in her head endlessly was Sakura hates me Sakura hates me Sakura hates me Sakura hates me...

She didn't know how long the mantra played in her head, but finally she was able to fall asleep. But it was not the kind of sleep that soothes you and makes you wake up refreshed. It was a sleep filled with dreams and memories of Sasuke.

"Sasuke?", a small voice whispered.

No answer. The regular breathing coming from the hospital bed suggested that Sasuke was asleep. The room was dark. The moonlight was casting gray shadows. It smelled of disinfectant and grief.

Naruto thought about her options. She could either switch on the lights and wake him up. Or she could just sneak up to him and wake him up – and probably scare him to death.

The eight-year-old blonde frowned. She had not planned for Sasuke to be asleep when she came to visit him. But now, considering the late hour, she realized she should've expected this to be the case. Sasuke had not been in school today and Naruto was worried about the boy. Something had happened last night, she just knew it, but Iruka-sensei didn't want to tell her. He just said that Sasuke was in the hospital. So she had sneaked here to make sure that her rival was okay.

The blonde carefully tiptoed over to the bed and looked down on said rival. Sasuke was lying on his back, one arm over his head; his other hand tightly gripping onto the blanket. There was a frown on his pale face, even in sleep. The moonlight illuminated his white skin. Naruto thought she saw the traces of dried tears on his cheeks. Had he been crying?

Naruto carefully bent down and very softly brushed a lock of black hair out of his face. His eyelids fluttered, but remained shut. His breathing stayed regular, he didn't wake.

When Naruto would later think about the reason for why she crawled into bed next to the young Uchiha, she had no answer. All she could think of was that she felt the sudden urge to comfort him and to be close to him. It was probably female intuition that made her take off her shoes, remove her bulky orange jacket and lift the blanket. She climbed into bed and very carefully snuggled close to her rival from school. Sasuke smelled of the citrus shampoo he always used. She liked the smell. Inhaling deeply, her breathing soon evened out and she fell asleep, too.

Some time during the night, Sasuke woke up, gasping for air. His fear-filled eyes couldn't see in the darkness of the hospital room. He wanted to sit up, but felt a weight on his chest. Panicking, he tried to pull the weight off of him, but whatever it was only tightened its grip around him. He tried to calm down and slowly became aware of his surroundings. He was in the hospital. Not inside of Itachi's Tsukuyomi. He sighed in relief – but halted when he remembered the weight on his chest.

His wandering hands swiftly recognized the weight as a person clinging to him. A head was resting on his chest. In the moonlight the blonde hair had a silver shine. But Sasuke would know this messy hair anywhere. What is she doing here?, the young boy wondered as he recognized his female rival.

Sasuke didn't know what to make of this. In the academy they communicated mostly by insulting each other. Although Naruto was always chattering animately, he would only nod his head once in a while and give one of his neutral 'Hn' to shut the annoying girl up. Why was she in his bed?

Sasuke then caught a whiff of the scent of her hair. It smelled like the woods outside of Konoha, like fresh air and... sun? Does the sun even have a smell? Sasuke wasn't sure if the sun had a smell, but he was sure that the girl in his arms smelled like it. How fitting, he thought and inhaled deeply.

When Sasuke would later think about the reason for why he didn't push the blonde out of his bed, he had no answer. All he could think of was that he felt somehow comforted by her presence and maybe even reassured that he was not alone – even after what had happened just the night before. His brother had murdered his parents and the entire clan. He was alone now. He felt a pang of grief in his chest and his eyes were suddenly stinging with hot tears. It was probably intuition that made him hug the girl closer to his chest and bury his face in her messy hair. It muffled his silent sobs and filled his nose with the smell of the sun. He didn't realize how her presence made his chest feel lighter.

Sasuke had no idea that the girl in his arms was wide awake since he had woken from the nightmare. The attempt to shove her off of him had woken her, but she had refused to let go, quietly dreading he would tell her to leave.

Sasuke had no idea that she witnessed his moment of weakness, how he wetted her hair with his tears.

He did not realize that this was the first time someone aside from his mother and brother was hugging him – and that he was hugging back.

He had no idea that this would not be the last time Naruto would hug him.

He did also not realize that this was the first time he shared a bed with a girl – with his rival of all people.

He had no idea that this would not be the last time he would share a bed with Naruto.

In Otogakure, Sasuke awoke from his dream or rather memory. Why do I remember this now? It had been the night after what would be known as 'the Uchiha massacre'. Naruto had visited him during the night. Although she had not known what had happened to his clan, she'd somehow known that Sasuke was in need of a friend; though the boy would never admit it. They had woken up early in the next morning, when the first rays of sunshine had blinded them. To Sasuke's surprise, he was still hugging her small body tightly, clinging to her like a lifeline. He felt... content and somehow... safe. But as soon as the drowsiness of sleep had left him, he tensed. The girl in his arms must've felt it, because she wiggled free from his arms and sat up. They had been staring at each other for some moments, before the blonde had gotten off the bed. She had put on her jacket and shoes and meant to leave. However, she had turned back around to him and crossed the distance between them in two quick steps. She had bent over Sasuke, who was still lying in the hospital bed, and shyly placed an affectionate kiss on his cheek. Before the bewildered boy had time to react, she was gone.

She had never seen him blush a very un-Uchiha-like blush. She had never seen the tiniest of smiles on his face. And she had no idea that he was grateful, even if Sasuke would never admit it to himself.

They had never talked about it; as they had not talked about so much else. The next day Sasuke had been back in school and everyone had known about his treacherous brother. He was now called the 'Last Uchiha' and sadly that had somehow made him even more appealing to his fangirls.

Naruto had only given him a small smile as greeting. It had not been her usual toothy grin, she would flash at every given chance. No, it had been a small, genuine smile. Saying so much without actually speaking a single word. "Teme", she had greeted him. He had looked her in the eyes, knowing she'd see what he couldn't express otherwise. "Dobe", he had answered and her trademark foxy grin was back in place.

Dobe... Sasuke couldn't get her out of his mind. Maybe, if his brother hadn't killed the clan, he would have been able to lead a normal life. He'd never have had to dedicate his life to revenge; he could've been a normal thirteen-year-old relatively carefree teenager and shinobi. But here he was, training under Konoha's number one enemy, Orochimaru.

His training had begun two days ago. Orochimaru was already making him sweat harder in only two days than Kakashi ever managed during the time of Team seven. Although every muscle in his body was hurting, Sasuke knew this was what he had wanted. A sensei, whose sole attention was directed at him. The snake would train him and eventually he'd be able to kill his brother.

Itachi, the name crossed his mind. He was the reason for all his suffering. He had been his idol, the person he had looked up to. Itachi represented everything Sasuke had always wanted to be. His betrayal had scarred him. The constant dull aching of his chest increased a little.

Now Sasuke suddenly remembered that he had felt the same pain when he had first arrived in Orochimaru's hideout. It was the pain of loss. Pure grief that had almost overwhelmed him in the days after the massacre. When he had been all alone.

He recalled Naruto's words. The one she had said when he had faced her in the Valley of the End. She had begged him not to leave him alone.

/I'll be alone again, if you leave me! I don't want to be alone again/

What did she mean? Sasuke knew that the girl was an orphan and that she lived alone. Kami, he had seen her filthy apartment. No parent would allow their child to live like that. But surely there was someone who looked after her, right? He frowned when he realized that he had never asked the dobe about her family. Thinking about it, there was a lot that Sasuke didn't know about the girl. Why did she say she doesn't want to be alone again? It's not like she actually is alone... right? She has a lot of friends... hasn't she? I mean, she's pretty likeable once you overlook her loudness and clumsiness... Sasuke was sure he had seen the girl with the dog-boy and the lazy Nara. And even with the fatso Chouji. She won't be alone just because I left! Why the hell am I even caring about it?

Sasuke ran a hand over his eyes. Why was he still thinking about that dobe? He had defeated her. Even if he hadn't killed her. Sasuke was over her. He had left her behind, because she was hindering him. Right? She was the only reason why he was still weak. She had distracted him from his true ambition. So what, if he had said she was his closest friend? So maybe he was inwardly asking himself if she was okay, but... This didn't change anything!

His body trembled in anger, as he realized that the girl was once again worming herself into his thoughts. "Stupid dobe", he hissed. He swung his legs over the edge of his bed and put on his training attire. He had to get her out of his mind. He'd train until the thought of her finally left his mind. Until the pain in his chest would go away. He stormed out of his room angrily.

Sasuke had no idea that the girl on his mind was having similar thoughts. She awoke from her dream, feeling restless. Apparently the teme would even bother her in her dreams. Annoyed, she struggled with the blanket. Judging from the scent, she was in Kakashi's bed. She vaguely remembered being picked up by him after – the incident suddenly came back to her. After Sakura said she hates me.

She had lost her second team mate in only a weak. She had somehow driven them all away. There was no Team seven anymore. She was alone. Again. The only one who was left was Kakashi. Let's see how long he'll last, the cynical thought crossed her mind.

Although Naruto was blaming herself, she had come to the result that Sakura had never been particularly friendly to her. The pinkette would use every opportunity to belittle her – especially in front of Sasuke. She'd hit her for the absurdest reasons. Sakura certainly was violent. And Naruto would mostly be on the receiving end of it. All her attempts to befriend Sakura had been fruitless. The girl never agreed to go eat ramen with her. She was always focused on the teme; obsessively so. Naruto knew since the academy that Sakura was Sasuke's number one fangirl. Maybe this should have been reason enough to be apprehensive. But Naruto had been desperately trying to make friends. The fangirls hated her, the others hardly tolerated her and the boys, well she had formed some kind of friendship with Kiba, Chouji and Shikamaru during detention and pranking.

Still, Naruto came to the conclusion that Sakura had not really deserved her regret. Naruto had once again deluded herself. There never was a friendship in the first place between them. They had been team mates and even then the pink-haired shinobi had mainly ignored her or insulted her.

Staring at the ceiling of Kakashi's dark bedroom, Naruto made a decision. She would not go through this pain again. Sasuke was right after all – I had no idea how he felt, because I never had anyone I cared about. I was always alone. Being alone hurt less than losing your precious people.

She suppressed a snort as she thought about her own naiveté. Bonds, what were they actually good for? She had believed in them, but she couldn't find the reason for that belief anymore. She had been betrayed twice. She was not sure if she'd mentally survive another betrayal. She just needed to find a way to not get hurt again. She'd have to be very careful in whom she'd place her trust in the future.

The author says: Sorry to all the Sakura-fans out there! I don't particularly hate her, but she's definitely not one of my favourite characters. At first I thought she had improved a lot and I really started liking her character, especially after the fight with Sasori... But then she tried to 'take care of Naruto' and tried to stop him from chasing after Sasuke by lying to him and telling him she loved him? The girl kinda lost my respect there.

Still she will grow up in this fic eventually, that's all I say, so don't fret ;)

Thanks for reading! Over and out,

xXHaneliXx