NCIS
WHERE'S DINOZZO?
DISCLAIMER: NCIS and characters do not belong to me.
Summary: Tony goes missing and no one knows where to start looking for him. Will they find him and will Ziva finally tell him she loves him, or will it be too late?
CHAPTER 20: GOOD-BYE...
STILL AT THE HOSPITAL...
ONE DAY LATER...
Tony sat beside Ziva's bedside refusing to leave, they had sedated her the night before, and he was waiting for her to wake up.
Finally, she began to stir and opened her eyes.
"I thought..." Ziva began. "I know you told me you didn't want to see me again, but Ziva we need to talk. You're not the only one that lost our baby, we both did." Tony told her.
"Tony..." Ziva began. "No, Ziva, just listen to me? I fell in love with you the first time I met you and nothing is going to change that..." Tony began.
"I am going to resign from NCIS and return to Israel." Ziva told him. "Don't you think it's a little soon to be thinking about that?" Tony asked.
"No, Tony, I do not, I have nothing left here." Ziva told him. "What about Abby, Tim, Gibbs, Ducky, Palmer and..." Tony started.
"After what has happened I cannot work there anymore. I cannot look at you and remember what has happened." Ziva told him. "Ziva...please don't do this to me…to us." Tony told her. "Good-bye, Tony." She said and turned to face the other way.
After another, few minutes of trying to talk to her and her ignoring him Tony left broken hearted.
'Why is this happening, what did I do to deserve this?' Tony thought and headed to NCIS.
Once there he sat down at his desk, but was unable to focus on his work.
Finally, he got up, walked over to Gibbs desk, and waited for Gibbs to look up.
"Can I talk to you?" Tony asked and Gibbs followed him to the elevator.
Once inside Gibbs flipped the emergency switch.
"Is this about, Ziva?" Gibbs asked and Tony nodded. "Did she tell you about wanting to resign and head back to Israel?" Tony asked. "Yes, she told me this yesterday." Gibbs replied with a nod.
"You're going to let her resign?" Tony asked. "I can't stop her, Tony." Gibbs said and flipped the emergency switch.
Gibbs stepped out of the elevator and they both headed back to their desk.
Tim sat at his desk and looked over at Tony. Tony who was always goofing around and picking on him...had changed.
He was now looked defeated, depressed and like he had not slept in a week.
"What are you looking at, Probie?" Tony asked.
"Nothing," McGee said and returned to his computer.
A FEW WEEKS LATER...
After going back to see the doctor, Ziva cleared her desk, packed her things, and headed back to Israel.
Leaving Tony even more depressed and not knowing whom he could talk too. That evening he found himself in walking down the stairs to the basement of Gibbs.
"She's gone." Was all Tony said, as he sat down near the bottom of the steps.
"I know, how you are doing," Gibbs asked.
"I don't know anymore. I loved her more than anything or anyone in this world. I got used to the idea of being a dad and thought we would become a family. Then she lost the baby and left me…I just don't know what to do!" Tony told him frustrated.
"I know how..." Gibbs began. "How the hell can you know how I feel? You got married and you had your daughter for eight years!" Tony yelled at him.
"I know how I felt when I lost them both. I didn't know if I could survive or go on without them, but I did survive and so will you." Gibbs reassured him down just a few steps below Tony.
For a while, they just sat there.
"It's not fair! Abby and Tim will have their baby and they will get their happy ending, the ending Ziva and I will never have a chance for." Tony said.
"You're staying here tonight." Gibbs told Tony firmly. "What? No...!" Tony began to argue.
"I can tell you've been drinking and you don't need to be alone. You have everyone to help you through this, you're not alone, and I just told you that I know what it's like to lose a child." Gibbs told him and Tony finally agreed.
ABBY AND TIM...
"I can't believe she left without even telling us goodbye." Abby said as she cried into Tim's shoulder. "I know, Abs." McGee said his arms wrapped around her. "Have you talked to Tony?" Abby asked.
"Gibbs called when you were in the shower. He said that Tony had been drinking and would be staying there for a few days. So tomorrow I'm going by Tony's to grab him some clothes." McGee told her.
"Why wait until tomorrow?" Abby asked. "Because..." McGee began. "Let's go tonight, just let me go get changed." Abby said getting up before McGee could argue.
GIBBS HOUSE...
They got to the house and walked down to the basement, but only found Gibbs there.
"What are you two doing here?" Gibbs asked. "We brought Tony's clothes." Tim replied. "I thought you were going to wait until tomorrow." Gibbs said looking over at Tim and then at Abby.
"Where is, Tony?" Abby asked. "Passed out in the spare bedroom," Gibbs replied.
"How is he doing?" Abby asked. "He's depressed." Gibbs answered.
For a while Gibbs, Abby, and Tim sat talking. They all looked up when they heard someone coming down the stairs.
"Talking about me?" Tony asked. "Tony!" Abby said giving him a hug and after a minute pulled away. "What are you doing here?" Tony asked Tim and Abby.
"We brought you a few days change of clothes." McGee said handing the bag to Tony. "Thanks, but I'll be going home in the morning." Tony said.
A FEW DAYS LATER...
Gibbs had ordered Tony to take a few days off and now the day had come. Tony decided he would go to work and try to move on with his life.
The day he returned to work, he noticed something was different. Ziva's desk that had been empty when he left seemed to be in use.
For a minute Tony, thought that Ziva had changed her mind and come back.
"Excuse me." Someone said as she slipped by him and sat down at the desk but it was not Ziva.
"Who are you?" Tony asked. "I'm Alexandra Martin, but everyone calls me, Lexie. You must be Agent DiNozzo." She said holding out her hand, but he did not shake her hand.
He just sat down at his desk. Gibbs had replaced Ziva and given this new agent her desk. Tony just sat at his desk, until Tim came in.
"Morning, Lexie," Tim said as he passed her on the way to his desk. "Hey, McGee," Lexie said getting starting to work.
"Gear up!" Gibbs called walking in, but Tony refused to move while Lexie and Tim grabbed their gear and headed for the elevator. "How could..." Tony began.
"I said gear up, DiNozzo." Gibbs said. "I heard you the first time. How could you give her, Ziva's desk?" Tony asked.
"Because Ziva has made it clear, she is not coming back." Gibbs told him. "I can't do this anymore." Tony said as he reached into his desk for his badge and gun.
Then handing the gun and badge to Gibbs, he walked away and left the building.
"DiNozzo," Gibbs called, but Tony kept walking.
Gibbs walked out to the truck where Lexie and Tim were waiting.
"McGee, I need to you to go after Tony. Agent Martin and I can handle this for a few hours without you." Gibbs said. "Why? What happened?" Tim asked.
"DiNozzo just quit and I think that he's on the verge of doing something else." Gibbs said.
"Right, boss." Tim said and went to catch up with Tony.
THE PARKING GARAGE...
"Tony!" Tim called catching up to him and Tony silently counted to ten, before turning around to face him.
"What?" He asked. "Gibbs told me you just quit." Tim stated.
"I did, I can't stand to be here anymore. She's not here and Gibbs has already given her desk to another Agent." Tony replied and started to open the door to his car, but Tim stopped him.
"Tony, it's been a month and a half since she left. Gibbs couldn't leave the desk empty forever. We needed a new agent." Tim said. "Didn't you tell me to give her a little time and then talk to her?" Tony asked.
"Yes..." Tim began.
"I talked to her and she still left. Being here just reminds me that she's gone and how much I miss her." Tony told him.
"You didn't act this way when Kate and Director Shepard died." Tim said confused.
"Because this is different, McGee…I never met anyone like, Ziva. I loved her!" Tony told him.
"I know, Tony..." Tim started to say. "How could you know? You have the love of your life and a baby on the way. I lost all of that!" Tony yelled.
"I can't say I've gone through, what you're going through, but you can't just quit NCIS, because it's too hard. Everywhere you go here in DC is going to remind you of Ziva. Are you telling me that you are going to move from DC? Because that won't help you with the pain you're feeling and it won't help you forget her." Tim told him and Tony slumped against the car.
"I don't know what to do." Tony said looking at the ground. "Why don't you go find her and try to talk to her?" Tim suggested.
"Because the last time you suggested that...she turned away from me, quit NCIS and went back to Israel." Tony replied.
"So you are willing to go almost all the way around the world, just to get revenge on a person you believe killed her...but you are not willing to go see her and try to work things out?" Tim asked.
"I don't know!" Tony yelled and slapped the hood of the car. "Go see her," Tim suggested again and walked away, before Tony could say another word.
"I can't." Tony whispered as he got into his car and headed home.