title: her hollow ways
disclaimer: disclaimed
n1: dedicated to ZeConfusedNewbie and Nayuki-Bunny
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/"Where's the blonde?"/the lipstick stains on the Styrofoam cups/'can't you look here instead?"/ festering hatred of mathematics./ that sensation of 'something's wrong, but you just don't know what's wrong./ It's not you. It's them./
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train wreck. spinning train wreck that was my life. Oh God, I hated you- I hated all of you. I was the closest to Heaven, yet the furthest down into Hell and everything in between. I was a bullet with butterfly wings and damn-
wasn't anything going to stop me.
Oh, you thought you were so clever, fuck, so clever. So prodigal and so smart and wanted and desired and soDAMNclever.
People can only take so much tension.
A thought: you made me and you know it. You made me. and made them and you and fuck, you put us in this pit.
you made us all.
we're sitting between these four whiteblackredblackwhite walls together-forever.
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ii: HER HOLLOW WAYS
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Flashes of red wove between the trees on the campus grounds, pale flecks of skin dotting the landscape as a girl briskly walked through the November chill to attend her first class of the morning. The hems of her high waisted shorts brushed against the shrubbery-they were against dress code, but honestly, everything the girl did or wore or said was against some kind of code.
Karin couldn't give a royal fuck.
Her crimson eyes darted around the campus grounds as she stepped from out of the trees, searching for her closest friends, focusing mainly on their typical spot by the fountain. A spot of pink tilted over a book gave Sakura away and the red head moved over to her childhood friend with a pace only fit for a crimson princess.
The heels of her floral highs crunched the dead, fallen leaves that dressed the ground and as Karin sat on the stony fountain aside her friend, her eyes aimed up at the high shrubs of campus-admiring the Earth's own high waists.
Sakura made no indication that she was even aware of Karin's presence, but then again, she never really did. Sakura had grown accustomed to Karin being everywhere- literally, everywhere- that as soon as a flash of red hair, or breath coming out of Karin's mouth touched her, she was immediately aware of her redheaded friend's presence.
It made all those years of passing out in her room late at night worth it.
Blondie wasn't in sight; probably running late from detaching her lips from her doggy boy toy. Another slight glance to Sakura was sent, but this time, nothing was given back to her in return.
She didn't know?
Karin's face showed nothing more than her immediate shock-; Pinks and Blondie were one, their arms were always interlaced, eyes locked and gossip forever shared. On more than one occasion, she'd been convinced they were lesbians and were secret lovers, but time and time again, they'd assured her-they were just friends.
She still had her suspicions though.
But, still- if Sakura didn't know where Ino was...? Did that mean that Ino had solemnly sworn to be up to no good?
Wind blew the two tones of red that the girls called hair and more of that November chill flooded Karin's open mouth, filling her words with crisp concern.
The look that followed confirmed her thoughts.
Where was Ino?
She knew, well they both knew really, that only mischief made Ino vanish off the face of the known, civilized world like this. And that mischief must be fantastically large if she was to abandon Saks after going out for lattes. An arched pink brow went up Sakura's forehead; how had she known that she and Ino went for coffee without her?
Karin's own brow rose in response and she nodded her head to beside the pinkette.
The lipstick on the Styrofoam cup.
She might be an occasional truant- but Karin was far from stupid.
Sakura's face reddened and a smirk began to form on the redhead's face as she pulled the bookworm to her feet, tumbling over the cup and nearly- nevermind- dropping Sakura's purse to the concrete. The remnants of three cups of sugar sluggishly dripped out of the cup while the remains of lipsticks, papers and relationships past rolled away from Sakura's anchor of a purse.
A particular set of squares captured Karin's focus -a long strand of photographs that had been taken at a booth, not more than a month prior. Her pale fingers picked them up with the delicacy of a mother holding her kittens and she gazed at it.
Sasuke.
Sasuke with his arm wrapped around Sakura and giving her a teasing kiss.
Sasuke's hands over Sakura's eyes.
Sasuke kissing Sakura.
Sakura.
[with Sasuke in the background of course.]
Her heart ached; it panged with the sadness that he was no longer hers, that she wasn't good enough for him. The photos slid away and through her fingers as Sakura gently tugged them away, leaving the set of crimson eyes focused yet unable to truly see as they held back emotions.
Karin could see Sakura's face glowing as she looked at the pictures, the pale skin lighting up like the little Christmas lights coating their dormitory and Karin-she just didn't have it in her to tell her.
Sakura babbled on and on about Sasuke, about how wonderful he was, about how sweet he was, about how much he loved her and about how much he meant to her.
But of course, Karin knew that wasn't true, not completely at least. But as it stood, she was unsure if Sakura was ready to even know about Sasuke. It was more than obvious that Sakura didn't completely understand her knight; the bubbly tones of her childish giggles and smiles gave that away.
[Karin didn't notice the tighter than normal grip Sakura had on the photos or the slight black in her eyes as she spoke.]
Ignorance really was bliss wasn't it?
She gathered up all the fallen bits of Sakura's beauty, all the broken bits of knowledge that she was famed for carrying around and all the bitsy pieces of friendship that littered the purse before cramming it all back in. Pink could reorganize later.
Now was the time to find Blondie.
Karin was sure that she was up to no good- in the process of committing mischief most foul. More of that November chill blew through her hair and she gazed down at Sakura before yanking her to her feet, commanding her to leave the fallen coffee cup behind. The pristine campus could do with a little urban litter anyway.
Her friend looked to her in shock and Karin's resulting grin was large and sinister enough to scare even her cousin into shutting up and doing as she requested. Sakura was no exception.
With a terrified pinkette in tow, NOW she-they- could find Blondie and her mischief.
Oh, this was going to be fun.
[warning:run and hide].
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.[she'll still find you]
They had looked for nearly an hour and Sakura was becoming irate. She'd been yanked through courtyards and classrooms and forced into the boys' dorms- and she was not in the mood to have a certain bowl cut boy try and propose to her at eleven in the morning.
She'd missed her first class- advanced calculus- and though she knew it was going to be hell to make up, she was kind of glad she'd missed it. Not that she'd tell Karin that though. That'd make her far too happy for her own good.
But now? This was getting ridiculous.
Karin didn't seem to be giving up any time soon and Sakura had classes to attend. Looking to the insane woman she called 'friend', Sakura demanded to be set free of the hunt.
She didn't see what the big deal was; Ino would turn up on her own. She always did, though turning up on her own usually entailed drunkenness in the highest degree, emotional/social drama and short term memory loss, but Ino always did turn up on her own.
Now, all that needed to be done was to get Karin to allow her out of the back corners of the library they were investigating. This was no easy task, as Karin insisted that they check each and every row of books for sight of the blonde.
[Karin's insanity and ADHD ran deeper than even Naruto's.]
As she placed down book 755.32 G, she grabbed the redhead by the wrist and began tugging her out of the library until hearing giggles come from three rows ahead. They both stopped; they knew that giggle. It was the anthem for good times- it was Ino.
Crimson eyes flashed into the rows before flipping the roles and before Sakura knew it- she was the one being dragged throughout rows, weaving in and out of the three rows that separated them from their friend before seeing a tail of blonde hair-
and a spike of darker hair?
Her green eyes soaked onto the sight. Her best friend. Her boyfriend. Giggling and laughter. They didn't even notice her.
She stood there for what had to be an eternity, listening to Ino giggling and Sasuke just standing there, giving her that little smile of his before they finally noticed her. The giggling slowed as soon as the two caught sight of her-and Karin-, Sasuke's face slipping back into its frozen and stoic form while Ino took a second eternity to stifle those giggles of hers. Her eyes went down, hoping to see the dark blue of the carpeting before catching sight of intertwined fingers and it all faded into black.
Her senses were vaguely aware of someone, someones-someone-him or her, trying to tell her something, but she didn't hear it.
Sakura didn't want to hear it.
She didn't want to hear it, she didn't want to experience anything other than what she'd felt before this moment in time.
So she ran.
ran, ran, ran.
That chill ran down her spine again and as the November chill caressed her cheeks yet again, she clutched at her bag, holding it as her salvation. She didn't dare think- she didn't dare reflect on what she'd seen- what was there, what wasn't there, what might've been there and what might not have been.
Sakura didn't even care.
[Not at this exact moment at least. In a few hours-days-weeks? Give her time.]
Her running continued; the clatter of her floral wedges morphing from the clatter on pavement to the thudding of linoleum and she found herself standing at the door to one of her classes.
Japanese Literature.
This would be where she hid. She'd bury herself in books and the written and printed word and perhaps regain her common sense. Regain her sense and talk to them.
Both of them.